It’s Judgement Day for Jong Kook. He’s been thinking about it a lot. Like a lot lot.

He’s been counting down the days unconsciously even when nothing is marked on his calendar. The more he tries not to think about it, the more significant it becomes, until it’s looming and glaring in his mind.

It’s their last day of filming. It’s the last time he might ever see her again. He wonders if he should do anything like in those silly romcoms--the guy always seems to get the girl in those, right? He could confess right in the middle of filming--no, that’s too extreme--or maybe bring flowers--no, too romantic. He wants to do something special for her, but have it be subtle enough that it doesn’t scream that he’s been in love with her for years and wants to marry her and have kids, that is if she’s up for it because really the choice is hers.

He stares at himself in the bathroom mirror, a tired face coated with shaving cream. He notices the bags under his eyes, the rough, callused fingers gripping onto the handle of his razor, the stray grays peeking out from his dyed chestnut hair. The only thing that’s changed throughout these years is his age. Ji Hyo is still as oblivious as when they first met. He wonders if there will ever be any action from his inaction.

He resumes his shaving and styles his hair, knowing the stylist will redo it once he appears on the set and scream at him for being old school. The muscled man searches his wardrobe for something easy but classy before reaching over for his rarely touched bottle of cologne.

Today is a big day.

As his van travels towards the filming location, his eyes automatically pick up on store names that lodge themselves into his mind--florists, chocolatiers, greeting card stores, and bakeries. When he makes a decision, he’ll ask his manager to stop by quickly. Jong Kook closes his eyes when the pressure in his mind mounts and he begins to feel dizzy.

He is awakened by the slamming van door by his manager. He walks out a bit disoriented and a lot distraught because the fact is that he officially has nothing for Ji Hyo. He walks towards the meeting tent with his mind on turbo for ideas.

The set comes to a hush when the chronically late Ji Hyo arrives and the crowd parts solemnly to greet her. She stares in surprise before trying her best to smile back. Jae Suk steps forward with a warm arm around her shoulder and pulls her towards the others, trying to ease the awkward atmosphere.

“Last one, huh?”, Jae Suk asks.

She leans her head against his shoulder as they walk towards the cameras and backlights.

He gives her shoulder a light squeeze of encouragement and gratitude.

Jong Kook stands vacantly Suk Jin as Jae Suk gives opening remarks and mission instructions. His eye is trained at the woman standing two away from him. She’s attentively listening to the MC as if this was any other day. He’s come to learn that she’s a master at masking her emotions.

He gets distracted by her fly away hairs that seem to glitter off the sunlight as they sway in air. His eyes fall to her eyes. He thinks her baby crow’s feet are charming. Next, are her pink lips that she chews on nervously. He wonders what they would feel like against his, wonders if she’d chew on his when they kiss.

Big mistake, because suddenly his mind leapfrogs into far less innocent territory and he’s sure his face is betraying his thoughts. Quickly, he moves his gaze to Gwang Soo to calm his speeding heart. (Sorry, buddy.)

Suddenly, her giggling is in his ear and he’s afraid that maybe he voiced out his thoughts. Ji Hyo stands by him joking with Haha as they walk towards their team cars for a day of travel. He doesn’t miss the smirk his dongsaeng sends his way before skipping off and leaving him alone with Ji Hyo.

“Hi”, she greet politely. Her previously light-hearted demeanor has turned cold at a flip of a switch.

“Hello”, he’s amazed at how he managed to make even a single word sound so awkward. He’s arrested by the million thoughts his brain is coaxing him to say that instead, he just walks beside her, all the while, training his eyes at her feet, stepping together in unison. It’s oddly mesmerizing and he thinks too hard about how their legs keep in stridge together and ends up stumbling over his own feet.

Ji Hyo is now giggling at him. Yes, that’s what he was yearning for earlier, but not at the expense of his own pride!

“What happened?”, he asks him half-heartedly. She’s not really interested in the reason why. She just thinks it’s hilarious how flustered he gets.

“I got confused”, he can feel his face heating up.

“Sure, sure”, she retorts.

He swallows hard and racks his brain for some kind of witty response to keep the dialogue going. Every time there’s a pause, it feels like a waning flame and it’s up to him to fan at it furiously to stoke it back to life again.

He misses the window of opportunity to respond and they fall back into silence. The rhythmic step of their shoes against the concrete fills the vacuum between them. It’s a big, empty silence, like Ji Hyo is just waiting for him to say something.

The pair is lagging behind the others, far from each shot of anyone. Do it, Jong Kook. This is your chance. Do it. Do it.

He takes a deep breath. His heart is pounding in his ears. He repeats his remarks over and over again in his head.

He opens his mouth to speak. The first word out of his mouth is a croak.

, that’s embarrassing.

Ji Hyo looks over at him in surprise.

Okay, now he really can’t do it anymore. She’s anticipating something and he cannot do this when there’s pressure on him.

“Were you saying something?”

“Uh, no. I just uhhh...uhhh burped.”

Ji Hyo gives him a quizzical eye before walking away and into her team car.

He wants the world to open up and swallow him whole.

They’re split into couples as they revisit Ji Hyo’s favorite places in Seoul. And as luck would have it, he’s not paired with her. Oh, he hates the eternal Monday Couple so, so much. The missions with Haha are a complete blur as every second he’s occupied with charting out a possible opportunity to speak to Ji Hyo one on one.

The only souvenir from his day is the bitter, bitter taste in his mouth, from having to down a quart of health tea in less than 30 seconds.

He’s so engrossed, he misses Haha’s comment in the car together as they return to wrap up. “You know, if you were this persistent years ago, she could’ve been yours.” Haha glances over at him in pity. Maybe it was better he didn’t hear.

Jong Kook stares out the car window anxiously at the dimming sunset. It’s teasing him that day is ending, his window of opportunity will soon be coming to a dark close. He can feel the internal clock inside him ticking. Every second sounds like a deafening echo in his mind.

There’s a small celebration ending in the SBS building to celebrate Ji Hyo’s time here. They line up before the cameras roll and Jong Kook catches her eyes. He holds it, scared, for a few seconds before she smiles bitterly and looks away.

At the signal of the PD, Jae Suk kicks off the closing speech. They watch light-hearted and comical montage of clips that sends everyone to tears. Confetti and streamers fly across the set as they rush to each other for a group hug. Ji Hyo laughs deliriously in the middle as the slate claps close, overwhelmed by all the bodies piled around her, their unconditional love filling her up with regret.

The members stay huddled around each other as each sends Ji Hyo off with a note of well wishes. Jong Kook’s the last one. Everyone’s eyes are on him. It feels like the entire world has held its breath for his words.

“Ji Hyo, it was a pleasure and honor to film with you not only here but also Family Outing. I know you’ll succeed wherever you go. You’ve taught me so much and I really appreciate your friendship with me. I will miss you so much. Please keep in touch.”

He gives a nod to end his statement. Ji Hyo gives him her routine ‘thank you’ hug.

Ah, the cherry blossoms. He’ll miss those.

She steps away to look back up at him. He just smiles at her in return. She turns to receive well wishes from the PD.

He hates himself for such a yearbook-y comment. Anyone could’ve said that. It didn’t represent even one-percent of how he felt about her.

Jong Kook watches everyone disperse, watches the crew dismantle the audio, camera, and lights, watches the FD sweep away the bits of color littering the floor.

Great, that was his last chance and now everyone’s leaving. He just failed himself. Despite all logic telling him to just go home, he remains on the nearly empty set. The cleanup crew look at him oddly, wondering if he needs help. Like a stubborn mule, he doesn’t want to let this day go, even though he knows he’s failed spectacularly at every chance he’s gotten. He doesn’t want to give up.

Jong Kook would like to think that he’s not obsessive but he finds himself keenly aware of the fact that Ji Hyo is the only one who hasn’t level the building yet.

There’s a timid knock on Ji Hyo’s dressing room door. It slowly opens to reveal a red-eyed woman.

“Yes?”, she asks in surprise.

He stares back at her in shock, not having registered what he’s done. They look at each other expectantly before he finally recovers.

“Are you free on Saturday”, he blurts out.

“Sure, I--”

“Ok, see you”, he nearly slams the door in her face as he sprints away and towards the parking lot. His face is in flames and his hands are shaking. He wants to scream because what did he just do?

Did he ask her out on a date? Why business does he have going on a date with an engaged woman? He doesn’t even know if he’s free on Saturday or where they would go. He didn’t even give himself a chance to tell her the details, not that he had any.

An anguished four-letter word roars into night sky. The tiger curses the the heavens.