chapter 10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"your more than enough" i said and slowly i kissed her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she responds to my kiss. which surprised me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

it’s a new side of her. shes taking the lead but i won’t let her win that easily.

 

 

 

 

we continue battling, she's being the dominant one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maybe it’s because of drugs. Just like the first time she kissed me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she continue kissing me until we reach my room. shes biting my lips a little which eventually i gave in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

should i thank the drugs again? for at last i can have her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this felt so damn good. she then went lower reaching my neck.

 

 

i released some moan which eventually triggers to unleash the monster within her.

she slowly pushed me to lay down on my bed. shes on top of me now.

 

 

she continue kissing me until undressing me.

 

 

she my neck leaving a mark. i dont know, i have been with so many man doing this thing making out but this felt so different,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unique, distinct.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she reached my chest, giving me pleasure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"taeyeon~" i called her out of pleasure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

which turn out to be a very bad thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i am half lying down breathing heavily, her eyes was somewhat regretting.

 

she stop like snapping out of her revere.

she immediately get off me.

 

she sat at the bedside not facing me.

 

 

what the heck happened??

 

 

 

 

 

 

"i i-am sorry" she said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

this. what sorry!?

 

 

 

"taetae what are you saying?" i asked. it’s been doing good.

 

 

 

 

"i am sorry i lose control, i shouldn’t went here when i am in this state." she said.

shes still giving me her cold shoulder. then she handed me my cloth.

 

 

"no" i said.

 

 

"pany-" she called me.

 

 

"NO" i said while slapping her hands that was giving me my clothes.

 

 

"dont. dont say sorry. i want it too." i said. then i took my blouse that was on the ground and manage to wear it.

shes still standing while looking at the ground.

 

 

 

 

"why did you stop? are you disgusted? is it because of my job." i asked.

 

 

 

 

"fany-ah! you know i never think that way.its just, i don’t want you to think that i am like those guys who after your body. i won’t take you for granted."

 

she said i held her hand. take me for granted, i smiled at those words.

 

 

"taetae.. dont regret nor hesitate next time i won’t let you off that easily." i said.

 

she kissed my forehead. she often does that.

 

 

 

 

"come lets sleep, its late already." she said as she lay beside me,

 

i smiled and laydown i hugged her while my head leans on her chest, i can hear her heart beating.

 

 

 

 

"taetae..your heartbeat, i can hear it clearly. its beating peacefully." i said to her.

 

then she intertwined our hand filling the gap of mine to hers.

 

 

 

 

"now what can you hear?" she asked, then i listen closely to her chest again.

 

 

it wasnt the peaceful beat anymore. could it be..

 

 

"goodnight pany-ah" she said then she drifted off to sleep.

 

 

"taetae could it be...is it possible to love me back." i whispered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

its morning already, fany was still sleeping here at my chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

shes so beautiful..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and after last night i dont want to see her going back to her stupid job.

 

i know it’s my fault, shes ing, ing since two years ago.

 

just to save her soul but i took away her innocence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

out of my conscience...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i have to do something about it i know i can but i needed help.

and there’s only one person that can help me...

the last person i least wanted to talk to...

the princess...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

jessica.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[flashback..

 

 

 

 

i was desperate to see her, i went to different places just to hear something from her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

shes a sister to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i saw their place but she’s not there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a year ago,i gave up looking for her.

then one day i hear some news.

she killed the boss. i am not surprise by that i know she can do it but...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the news was wrong ...

i was the one who killed him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i was the one who did it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

with my bare hands.

 

 

 

end of flashback]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tiffany also saves me. she didn’t know but she did. that time when i have no hope at all.

now it’s my turn to take her away from here, this hell we are living in.

i am going to do everything for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chapter 11

 

 

as the sunshine touches my eyes i decided to wake up.

looking at the pink white ceiling i decided to sat up but i can’t move, shes still there at the same place and our hands was intertwined against each other.

 

i looked at our hands closely. i try to release my grip but she tightens it. she stirs a little cuddling even more at my chest. i guess she enjoys being there. i look at her and kissed her forehead like how i used to do it.

that face..

 

this pretty face whom save her, because this face resembles a lot about her...

my miyoung.

 

"mi-young...i miss you" i murmured then i look back at the ceiling.

 

again for the nth time, i mentally slap and lectured myself.

 

 

she is not her. stop it. stop. she will never be her.

 

im gone mad, talking to myself.

 

 

then after knocking myself from illusions i finally stood up.

 

 

she immediately open her eyes as the thought that i will leave.

 

 

 

 

"tae~ " she said . that husky voice. thats the only thing that makes her relevant from miyoung.

 

 

 

"hey sleep more, i will just meeting someone. i will be back i promise." i said assuring her that i am going back to her.she nodded. and i pull the cover up.and left....

 

i have no idea where in seoul could she be. so i went to our hideout.

 

 

then i saw different faces. there are beers and weeds all around. maybe they have gone wild last night i can smell bleaches all around.

seeing no hope to talk to someone i left immediately and went to our other hideout.....

 

 

this place was more decent.

 

 

"taeng?? What brings you here and at this time??" the giant whom i know asked. She was there at her sacred place. Sipping her coffee.

 

"Oh, Good morning. Sorry did i disturb you?" i asked.

 

 

"No, of course not, you want coffee or something?"  She asked. She was getting a mug. I didn’t even say yes.

 

 

"So why are you up so early, oh? Do you need some pills??" she asked.

 

 

"No i am fine, thanks for this." i said as she handed me the coffee."

I just wanted to ask if you know where i can see the princess. i know she was a friend of yours." i said and take a sipped at the coffee.

 

 

 

It’s very suiting.

 

 

 

"I am not sure where on Seoul she could be. But i can give you her digits." she said. She gets her phone and ran through it.

 

 

"here." she handed me her phone.

 

 

"I am a little surprise knowing that you’re looking for her. i think she misses you a lot. And she will be glad to see you." she said and smiles.

 

 

 

"Yeah, thanks." i said as i give her phone back.

 

"Oh i better take my shower; i don’t want to be late. Talk to you some other time." she said and smiles.

 

 

"And when i said the other time i am not referring about the pills. Just a normal chat like before." she follows up.

 

"Yeah of course, thank you, by the way the coffee was very delicious. It’s very suiting just like the old times." i said and smiled at her.

 

 

"Great see you next time. I will just clean this up when i am done and i will get going." i said.

 

 

"Okay, and i miss that smile. You should wear that at least when you will meet her. bye." she said and finally left me. i finished my coffee and wash the mug before leaving.

 

 

*yawns*

 

 

 

"hey." i said to the man who was walking half asleep.

 

 

"Good morning soo. Take care on your way to school." he said as he sat at the couch lazily.

 

 

"yah,teukie i think you better wash your face first." i said and leaves.

 

i wonder whats his reaction. when he will saw sooyoung again.so this is my second hideout.

 

leetueks place.

 

they arent like me. they are the one that deals with the drugs around the org.

 

yes,leetuek was the head while sooyoung was his assistant. as you can see they are not the one who uses it ,they are just dealers bigtime dealers.. they are member of the second degree division.

 

sooyoung was in fact a med student. while leetuek was a licensed pharmacist.

 

yeah believe it or not. Requirement to be on the second degree division needs a high educational attainment perhaps a college student at least. which i was not qualified.

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

I try to contact her. I dialed her number.

 

 

Ringing..

 

 

 

Ringing..

 

 

"hello, taeng is that you?" she asked. how did she know???

 

"yes, can i talk to you, in person." i said directly.

 

 

"Yeah, sure. Right now??" she asked.

 

 

 

"if you want to." i answered.

 

 

"okay, where are you? Wait; let’s just see each other.at the cafe downtown, the usual. I will be there by .. an hour." she said

 

 

 

"okay. bye" i said then hung up.

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

Jessica.. It’s been a long time.

 

 

i think she will help me through this. She has no other choice

 

 

i waited at the usual cafe. This cafe was very nostalgic.

 

miyoung used to work here before. My miyoung. i remember how jessica gets my attention whenever we are here. thats a nice thing to remember.

 

 

 

 

[flashback..

 

"tae, i will borrow hayeon later and i already ask umma." that eyesmiling monster said.

 

"thats good, then i will be with taeyeon the whole day,right taey~ you will help me right?? you promised." the auburn haired said while holding my hand.

 

 

"yeah i will, miyoung take care alright." i said

 

"ofcourse hayeon is safe with me." she said proudly while flashing her smile at me.

 

 

"yah taeyeon!! your smiling too much." the jealous princess said.

 

 

"no i am not." i answered.

 

then the usual clapping can be heard. It’s her way of laughing.

She’s happy which a good thing.

 

"guys i need to go. I will pick hayeon now see you later." she said. she kissed my cheek and so as the princess.

 

"bye take care." i said and jessica too.

 

 

"sica what else do we need to do. i dont want to continue this anymore. i will send hayeon and umma back tomorrow at jeonju, okay. and keep this between us." i said. at that time we are just getting started, working at the org. my oppa was inside the prison a few days ago. and my mother and sister doesn’t know anything about it.

 

tomorrow i will send them to jeonju and tell them the truth about oppa. i dont want them to get involved.

 

"tae..your spacing out. dont worry everything will be alright." jessica said squeezing my hand.

 

"i hope so." i said then the most hated part happened something that change my whole being.

 

 

end of flashback.]

 

 

 

"hey your spacing out." she said as she held my shoulder.

i look up to her.

 

 

"i was just..thinking." i said.

 

"should we change location?" she ask.

 

 

"no its fine here. you want anything?" i said.

 

"no thanks. so you finally miss me?" she asked. i was pissed. it’s like shes teasing me.

 

 

"i guess not. but i do miss you" she said and smiled shortly.

 

"i would like to ask something. i know you can do something about the fourth division." i said then i look at her.

 

"i see. she looks like her right." how does she know?.

 

 

"you look surprised. i decided to follow you last night. it just happens that i saw how she welcomed you." she said. i just kept quiet and look at her.

 

"you feel the same? or its just out of guilt?" she asked. i didn’t answer her question.

 

 

"i guess you don’t want to talk to me still. so what do you want me to do?"

 

 

"get her out of that ing job." i said, shes not happy about my request.

 

 

"why will i do that? i dont even know her." she said. But i knew she will help me i just need to say this...

 

 

"you will do it for me. you owe me your life " i said. she looks away then she let out a smirk

 

 

"fine. are you going to do this all the time? making me remember how i turn you into like that. i said i am sorry. and when will you learn to forgive me. because i dont want to continue being like this." she said and now she held my hand.

 

"just do what i want. i will learn to forget it. i will try to take it back before it all went wrong." i said and remove my hand from her grip.

 

"tae..theres no way you can escape" she said.

 

 

 

"thanks in advance. i am counting on you." i said.

 

"will you talk to me now. like the usual. Let’s talk about us." she said.

 

 

"what about us?" i said.

 

 

"you know what im talking about ,us." she insisted.

 

 

 

"let’s go somewhere else. somewhere more private." i said. for what we will discuss was not far from the usual.

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

i was waiting for taeyeon. she hasn’t come back and its almost lunch time. where is she. i took my phone and dialed her number.

 

shes not picking up..

 

 it just kept on ringing..

tiffany relax.. be patient.

 

 

 

"hello?" at last she answers.

 

"taetae.. where are you i am starving." i whined.

 

"i am heading home do you want something in particular?" she asked.

 

"hmmm..you. i want you." i said like a kid.

 

"pany-ah.." she said in a scolding tone.

 

 

"ne taeyeon..i am craving for some pizza. i will just call for a delivery so get back here immediately i am bored. i got no one to talk too and the tv shows are full of drama. it makes me cry tae..so come here and  comfort me." i said. i wonder how she reacted. that may be cute.

 

my cute taetae...

 

 

 

"ill be there fany..bye " she said.

 

taetae..

 

i heard someones name earlier..

 

 

 

miyoung.i hear it clearly.

she missed miyoung.

is she the one that taetae meet up.

 

 

miyoung who is she..aigoo i think i am a little jealous

my taetae.

 

 sorry for being a jelly monster. i know i have no rights but what can i do. . .

 

nothing.

 

i will just be a jealous freak. and watch them break apart.

 

because i know i will have her.

 

i will do everything just to be with her.

i am decided. I know i can take that burn.

it’s just one cry ahead.

 

 

being on the fifth division.

i will sell my soul too. so I can be with her.

A partner in crime.

 

 

and to leave that ing job.

 

for she doesnt want it.i will follow my taetae. all of her wishes.

for shes my only family.the only thing i want to call mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

chapter 12

 

"taetae i am waiting for you and i was dying from hunger. where you from??" i asked annoyedly faking a little mad.

 

"i told you, i just arranged few business." she said and sat at the opposite side of the sofa.

 

 

"come here.....closer." i said. then i hugged her.

 

 

"you really like snuggling to me arent you??" she said. this dork such an arrogant person.

 

"no, its just that i know you will like it." i said cheekily.

then i just stay there having her scent.

 

"your pizza was taking too long. I’ll make you a snack if you want to" she said.

 

"no, just stay here, having you was enough." i said while tightening my embrace.

 

 

"tiffany..if ever you will get out from this place we are living in, dont ever comeback." she said suddenly. she kissed the crown of my head.

 

 

 

"tae, i will leave my job but not let go of you. i will stay at the org." i said stubbornly. i know she will get mad because of that. i was still embracing her. i dont want her to leave. she didnt say anything until the doorbell rang. it’s the pizza man.

 

 

"ill go get it....and try to remember the first day you saw the real hell before thinking of staying." she said and walks to get the pizza. that cold exterior was back.

 

[flashback

 

 

someone was getting killed.

...i was crying and was afraid.

 

while the next scene was giving the birthmark of being a member.

a scrutinizing scream and cry

 

that burn it hurts like hell i swear.

 

 

i was frightened.

 

then she calm me down. she asked me something i was confused..

 

 

"kill or be killed, you choose your destiny." she asked again.

 

having this sight. i dont want to kill. i am not a monster.

 

"I’d rather be killed and burn in hell" i said. she smirks. i know i am a coward.

 

she showed it to me. the hell and the hopeless place.

 

 

 

it does exist.

Worse than i have ever imagine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she saved me from being a monster.

She’s really kind behind those brown eyes, she set me free. Despite having that cold exterior she comfort me.

 

 

end of flashback]

 

 

 

i know what she mean.

 

i also remember...

 

 

 

[flashback

 

 

 

"why are you here?" she whisper grabbing my arms. There’s another pair of eyes watching us.

 

"i choose to live in hell right?" i said.

 

“crazy.”  She said without looking at me.

 

 

end of flashback.]

 

 

 

 

i remember that time when i felt that

she needed me. those hallow eyes it’s a bit different now ..

 

 

"hey dont look at me as if you'll kill me." i said in a scolding tone.

 

 

"let’s eat i know you’re hungry, you’re thinking too much." she said while walking to the dining area.

 

 

i sat down as she already prepare everything.

 

i know shes mad. just a little or rather upset. she handed me a slice of pizza,i cut mine into pieces on my plate, i notice there’s only one plate, i will be the one whose eating.

 

 

 

"are you that mad that you dont want to eat with me?" i asked.

 

"no, i just dont feel to eat pizza." she said. and sat opposite my place. she was there watching me. i want to take a slice and feed her but since she said she doesnt want to then i wont force her.

 

after eating she took my plate, shes serving me like i am her princess.

 

after cleaning we sat back to the couch. i cuddle to her and she did not do anything she just let me.

"tae..kiss~" i said and wait for her.i close my eyes.she held my nape and head.then she kissed my forehead.i open my eyes and saw a smirking taeyeon.

 

"yah!!! why are you smiling like that?!" i said and frowned.

 

 

"what is it bad to smile, i was just happy that i kiss you." she said, and that makes me flush in red.

 

 

"y-you call that a kiss? what am i your grandmother?" i asked and looks away trying to hide my blushing face

 

"no, but i respect you like one. now look at me." she said as she held my chin and guide me to face her.

 

 

 

"if ever you have the chance to run away from here just do it, dont think about of staying because of me. i dont care how much you like me. i won’t ever needing you anymore." she said. those last words was like earthquake for me.

 

"you can stay with umma and hayeon if you like. just dont stay with me." she said.

 

i let out a tear, i cant hold it any longer.

 

 

"dont cry." she said and kiss my tear away.

 

"taetae"i said and hug her.

 

 

 

"fany-ah..be good okay." she said. it seems like we will never see each other anymore.

 

 

"what are you saying tae,i was just asking for a single kiss. if you dont like its fine with me,no need to say this things." i said and hugged her tight. she chuckles.

 

"be careful always." she said and pull away from my embrace so she can kiss me. this time it’s not on my forehead anymore.

 

It’s on my lips,

 

 

 

 

gentle and sweet.

 

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

after the kiss she continue crying. she fell asleep from crying.

 

 

i think she knew what i am trying to imply. thats why she cried.

it was not my intention to make her like me.

 

i just wanted her to stop and leave this hopeless place.

maybe jessica was right. i was doing this because i am blaming myself from the past and seeing tiffany that looks like miyoung was a way of doing things out of guilt and conscience.

 

 

 

 

 

chapter 13:

 

 

[flashback

 

 

 

jessica and i went to her place. its beautiful, it looks exactly her dream house.

 

 

 

"wont you ask me anything? i know you have something in mind  " she asked. is she teasing me?

 

"why?" i said. she smiles.

 

"taeng you know i cant just leave you and be free." she said.

she get some wine and glasses.

 

 

"thats way better than getting back in here."i said.

 

 

"here." she said handling me a glass of wine.

 

 

"i dont like,its too early for that and your still not answering my question." i ask again.

 

"i turn you into something unpleasant. you know what i am trying to say right?" she said. she put the glasses down. she sat at her sofa and she ask me to sit beside her.

 

"jessica,i did it because i wanted to ,that day when i already gave up, because i want you to live." i said. she pull me into a hug.

 

"you and your ambitions. if you just stayed like you use to be it could have gone much better. i was waiting for the right time. but you mess it up. i am thankful for what you did but if i was the one who take his life then you should be free by now and not turned into this." she said.

 

"this is not the way i wanted it to be. i was prepared and ready to face them i know i will be caught no matter what. i give up but you showed up and claimed to be the killer. why did you do that?"

 

i asked.

 

"because i love you. are you still that stupid?" she said and looks at me.

 

"aish,you still are. look at me." she said and i did.

 

 

"good. now close your eyes." she ordered again.

 

 

"i dont like. i told you before i love you but not in that way." i said. she laughs.

 

 

"you know in some ways you are still the same..dork kim taeyeon.

 

Arrogant and cold.but i manage to kiss you twice." she said and winks

 

 

"it’s just once. as far as i can remember." i said.

 

 

"really ??" i asked. this is how we use to talk before.i am happy that we are back to normal. Even though i was not pleased by her presence. it will be much better if she stayed there.

 

 

 

"you dont remember? aish its because you dont treasure it like i do. first was when we are about to runaway. second was...you really dont remember?" she said.i really have no idea.

 

 

"and why are we talking about ki- " yeah you know probably what happened. she kissed me.

but i did not kissed back.

 

 

"see now you remember." she said proudly.

 

 

"yah! you trick me!" i said she laugh.

 

"dork!" she teases. then my phone rings. it wasnt fany but its my assignment.

 

"i better go."i said to jessica.

 

 

"is it miyoung??" she giggles.

 

"ok see you around, i am happy to see you and talk to you kim dork. and i guess i need to meet that miyoung look alike. because your giving her that much of attention." she said and merongs..am i??

 

“I guess we are okay huh??” she asked.

 

 

*Shrugs*

 

“awwww!!” she pinched my sides and laughs.

 

“I miss this. I miss us.” She said.

I rub my side that was throbbing.

 

“theres no US” I said allowed.

 

“yeah and it will always be~” she said seductively.

 

 

 

 

end of flashback.]

 

 

 

 

i am driving back. sica and i are in good terms again.

 

it was a hell back then.

 

 

miyoung,.

what happened? she died. she died saving jessica and me.

shes just an innocent and ordinary person.but because of that incident. we lost her.

 

i carry the grudge to myself up until now. thats why i am very kind to tiffany. she resembled miyoung. but shes much noisier.

 

jessica. she was still the same . we havent seen each other since two years ago. the last time was the day that made me into a soultaker. a monster.

 

 

 

 

[flashbacks

 

i was desperate looking for sica. i went places to places. i havent heard from her. but i hear news from the others. it wasnt a good news.that man. i will kill him. i knew i can. i already gave up my insanity. and i know sica, she already gave up a long time ago.i hear that sica was outside the country.she was with that man somewhere in europe. there will be a big gathering for the main dealers. yes, selling slaves. and it will be held in seoul.when i already gave up, here comes the opportunity.i do my best to know where jessica could be. and it will be easy for me.because i had lost my insanity.and i did found her. but not literally her. rather the place.

 

 

 

 

it was the rest house of the foolish boss.

 

There’s guards around but they are like there boss.

Stupid.

 

 

 It’s his private place.. i had been here before but they aren’t here. but now i am certain. i will wait for them. for tonight i know i can overcome this craziness.

 

 

for jessica.

 

 

 

Few hours of waiting until the door opens. i hide behind the sofa.it was 12 mn.

 

"i want to take a bath " that awful voice.

 

 

 

his talking like he owns sica as a slave.

 

 

 

jessica did went upstairs.

 

 

"great day today. A round inside the tub will be nice. ahhh" he said.

 

 

 

i can’t imagine how gross that was for jessica ing this ing old dirty man.

 

 

i waited a little bit more. not realizing that my presence was transparent.

 

 

"who is there?!" he said and move closer from my view i can see he has a gun already with him.

 

 

"get up." he said i got caught.

 

i held my gun at my back and stand up. he laughs.

 

 

"woah, the midget? how did you get in? oh are you visiting your friend?" he said mockingly. he put his firearms down.

 

"no. i am here  because i wanted to have jessica." i said then he frowned.

 

 

"go home. you know your place. she wont come to you either. shes my slave." he said and those words are enough to pull my strings.

 

 

 

"jinjja?? you." i said and pull the trigger. it was a triple shot the gun he was holding landed on the ground.. i went closer to have a view i smiled.

 

shoulder,chest and stomach area.

 

" you !" he screams. i grab the collar from the body at the soaking bloody mess.

 

 

"this is for sica." i kick his crotch.

scrutinizing pain.

 

 

"and this is for miyoung."i punch his face. agony.

 

 

" you, i should have killed you" he said.

 

i took the gun .

 

"yeah you should. oh and this is for calling me a midget." then i pulled the trigger.

 

i went upstairs and the bathroom was there. jessica was inside it

shes already . i hate seeing her like that.

 

 

"sica,"i said i dont know what i looked like but i know i am not pleasing. she looked at me surprised.a tear escapes her eyes.

 

 

"omo." she said and she cry even more.

 

 

 

"pabo! what did you do?!" she said as she sees me,i walk closer and get a robe i give it to her.

 

"dont look at me." she said.shes crying.

 

 

"sorry i guess i am a little late." i said. theres a mirror in front of us and i have blood on my face.

 

"sorry.i am a little ...messy?" i said and wash my face.

as i am washing my face at the sink she hugged me.i faced her.then she hit me continuously.

 

"i am not miyoung! why are you here." she ask.

 

 

"because you are jessica." i said and smiles dorkily.

 

 

"you have gotten too far. i am sorry this happens. i have made you into this."she said now shes leaning to me while crying.

 

 

 

"you have your life now."i said.

and smile again.

 

"aish,you really are stupid." she said and hugs me tighter.

 

 

 

"promise me. we never met and you wont comeback. i will take over from here."i said.

 

 

she just nodded.

 

end of flashbacks.]

 

 

 

 

 she didnt do what i said. shes really a hardheaded girl. stubborn one. just a few months and she showed up again.

 

claiming to be the killer.i hated her for doing that and she knew it. but i cant hate her forever. a little while was enough.and i need to talk to her again,i must know how she end up being the princess of the 3rd division, the gambling collectors.

 

 

getting me out of my past was a call from tiffany. shes waiting for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chapter 14

 

 

 

i could not concentrate i can’t leave her seeing so hurt and her eyes are swollen.. i have my work for today.

 

"fany i am sorry. mianhe."i said. i slowly release from her hug. carefully,i do not want to wake her.

 

i think i already said what i have to. i will just wait for jessica. i know she can do something about tiffany.she was one of the boss. i wonder what happened to her. we never talk about it. i didnt even ask her if shes fine.i need to know things from her.

 

 

 

 shes jessica after all.

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

"you okay??" kyu asked me. his driving madly.

 

"yeah,just a little graze." i got hit.

 

 

 

 but it wasnt that bad. jessica will be mad about this. she doesnt know that i am back doing this soul-

less job.

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

 

i woke up and again taeyeon wasnt here. will she ever comeback? i look at the clock and its 11pm.maybe shes somewhere out and doing her business.

 

 

thats why i waited. i cant sleep anymore,i decided to have a walk. just a little walk.

 

 

taeyeon if shes here she will get mad at me. she always told me that its dangerous to walk at night and its still cold. i wish i could see her. i started recalling her words. and it makes me sad again.

 

 

she doesnt need me anymore.

 

 

i felt my tears and i wiped them immediately. i dont know where she lives. i should have asked her before.but i guess its too late now.

 

"hey~ fany-ah??" that voice.

 

 

i was frozen.

 

 

 

i turned around recognizing the voice.

 

 

 

 

 

"what are you doing here?" she asked me. its her. its really her.

 

 

"i- i was just walking. i cant sleep so i decided to walk a little." i said,

 

 

"aish, i told you not to go out this late." she said and i notice she had a bandage on her shoulder and she has someone beside her.

 

 

 

"taeng what happened to your arm?!" i asked hysterically.

 

 

"kyu,thanks for taking me here.i can manage from here." taeyeon said to the man beside her.

 

 

"take care noona." he said and bows.then he leaves.

 

"its nothing fany,its cold out here. lets get inside." she said. i nodded.

 

 

....

 

 

"aigoo,taetae what can i do??" i said while taking her coat off.

 

"pany,relax alright.i am fine this is no big deal. well i wanted to take a bath,but since i have this,can you get me a damp towel?" she asked while sitting at the bed.

 

"i can help you take a bath if you like."i said.i am willing to help and serve my taetae.

 

"a-anniyo, i can do it myself tomorrow. its just that the anesthesia was still taking effect." she said i notice shes blushing.

 

"ah, hey,i-its not what you think,i-i was just trying to help,i have no intention of taking advantage from you."i said.

 

 

 

"i wasnt thinking like that, aish pany..just get the towel." she defended herself.

 

 

"o-okay" i said and get the towel and damp it with warm water.

 

"i will do it."i said and sat beside her. she was ing her long sleeves. the right arm sleeve was ripped off already her arm was covered in bandage.

now i was the one doing it for her and as i was ing her blouse her inner cloth shows up. Revealing her milky like skin.i slowly take it off leaving her on her sleeveless shirt with a blood stain on it..

 

 

 

"fany what are you thinking, i can do it myself." she said.

 

 

"what?? i didnt do anything."i said.

 

"your blushing madly." she said.

 

 

"taeng!! stop joking around" i said and slap her arm.

 

 

"woah, hey be careful." she said.

 

 

"can i take this off?? theres a stain on it." i asked pointing to her sleeveless.

 

"yea,just get a hold to yourself."she said teasing.

 

 

"you wish!" i said.shes teasing me.

 

"yeah, YOU really wish" she said. this arrogant was so cocky. but i carefully remove it. now theres only one more thing covering her.her sports bra. wait! what am i thinking??

 

 

"you like the view?" she teases again. she like teasing me. but i was staring at it i admit.

 

"aish.go and clean yourself!" i said. she laughs.

 

 

"pany~ah, fany~ tippany~ "she was calling my name with a mellow.

 

"what??" i said annoyed.this person can really make a cuteness out of her without her knowing it.

 

 

"i guess i can spend the rest of the week with you. after that we can go to jeonju." she said. i dont know but i was happy to hear that from her.

 

 

"tae,about staying with umma and hayeon i think i cant." i said.

 

"i cant tell lies to them and i c-" she cutted me.

 

 

 

"i understand. just stay away from the org and the people around it. including me." she said.

 

 

 

"you know i cant do that either." i said with an annoyed tone.

 

"you can. slowly you can. you are used not seeing me before right? it take us some months before meeting again. so you can do it,get used to it again." she said.

 

"no, it wasnt like that.at that time i am sure that we will see each other. because you needed me but now you said earlier that you dont need me anymore. there is no reason for you to see me.taeyeon." i said i was holding my tears.she held my chin up to face her. shes looking at me.

 

"tippani. i kim taeyeon promised to visit you whenever i can. " she said. i like this moment. she always keep her promise.

 

 

"taetae."

 

 

"i swear. now can you help me wear my clothes?" she said. i am more than happy to hear that. now i feel like pay time.

 

 

"sure its my pleasure" i said then i sat on her lap. i took her oversize shirt from her.

 

 

"pany what are you doing?" she asked confusedly.

 

 

"i think i might take advantage this time. you cant move your arm right?" i said and winks.

 

"aish~tippany!" she yelled.

 

 

 

"taetae~"i whispered on her ears and i lean my forehead against hers.

 

 

"tiffany." she said it correctly this time.

 

 

"ssshhh...this wont hurt." i said and kissed her.she kissed back.i put my arms around her neck and tighten the gap. her hand supports my back.i swear i cant stop myself i want more from her.i kiss her more going deeper and downwards kissing her neck and leaving some mark.i sat up and scooted closer. then i lost my balance.

 

 

"aahhh!!" she screamed in pain.we fell on the bed i am lying on top of her. and her arm was hurt.

 

 

 

"taetae i am sorry. sorry." i said and stand away from her.

 

 

 

"aish,it hurts..aww"she whines.

 

 

"omo taetae.. i am sorry."i said again.

 

 

 

"its okay,i guess the numbness was gone already. i pretty much feel

the pain." she said.

 

 

"i wish i could do something about it. taetae what do you want?" i asked her.

 

 

"what i want?? hmmm....can you sing me a song?" she asked.

 

 

"song?what kind?" i asked.

 

 

"anything you like." she said. hmm.. what song could it be??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chapter 15

 

 

Shine a light through an open door Love and life I will divide Turn away 'cause I need you more Feel the heartbeat in my mind

 

 

 

 

It’s the way I’m feeling I just can’t deny But I’ve gotta let it go

we found love in a hopeless place..

      we found our love in a hopeless place..

 

 

 

 

 

"not bad." she said.

 

 

"its actually good." she continues.

 

 

"thanks for making me stay tiffany. somehow you make me feel at ease. i like this feeling.lets just stay like this." she said. stay like this. i know what she mean. theres no hope for more right.

 

"taetae..cant you just leave,lets runaway together. i have my savings and for a mean time we can support umma and hayeon. and i know we can look for a much fine work." i said.

 

 

"tiffany,theres no other way than death for me but..you, you have the freedom to do so. dont obligate yourself because of me." she said.

 

 

 

 

"but taey-" she cut my words again.

 

 

"tiffany, lets not argue about this again.please. lets just take a rest." she said.

 

 

"alright taetae.mianhe" i said i dont want us to argue too. so i stop talking.

 

"sorry too fany." she said then she kissed my forehead.

 

 

after that i fell asleep. having her with me makes me at peace. i want us to stay like this too.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

the next morning shes still beside me. i decided to make a breakfast. so i went to the market.

when i reach the floor of my apartment theres a woman standing in front of my door, i dont know her.but she looks gorgeous i tell you.

 

 

"excuse me, may i help you?" i asked as polite as i can.

 

 

"yes thank you,taeyeon she said that she lives here, i am a friend of her. do you know her?" she asked. of course i know her she is my taetae. wait,did she said taeyeon?she really are a very close friend of taetae.wait could it be..

 

 

 

 

"yes she is, i also live here, by any chance are you miyoung?" i asked. she looked surprise. maybe i am right.

 

"uhmm... how did you know?" she ask.

 

 

"taetae i guess i hear her say your name. oh please come in lets talk inside." i said as i let her into our apartment

 

 

"shes still sleeping,have you eaten yet?" i asked

 

"yes i am,thank you,i will just wait for her i am not in a hurry anyway,sorry to bother."she said.

 

 

"i will just prepare this,i havent eaten yet,oh and feel at home." i said. she smiled. shes really pretty and i am getting a little unease,whats her relation to taetae.

 

"i can help you if you want." she said. she followed me here at the kitchen.

 

"thank you but i can manage. uhmm did you know her for a long time?" i asked. well i think she knows taeyeon so well.

 

 

"yes,but we havent seen for a long time so we are making up for it. we just seen each other recently.but i need to ask something from her thats why i am here. how about you two? " she said. i am almost done preparing this sandwiches.

 

 

"ahhmm..me and her met almost two years i think. but we rarely see each other,its just recebtly that she promised me to accompany me thats why she move in here." i said proudly.

 

 

"so,you know everything about her?" she asked. this is an intimidating question.

 

 

"well not really,recently i went to her familys place at jeonju and its my first time to meet them, they are very kind.it overwhelms me. sorry i think i talk too much." i said.

 

 

"no its fine and now you said that its been a long time since i last saw them. they are really kind and caring. its been how many years." she said and gives a lonely smile.

 

"i see, here i am done. lets wake taeyeon if you dont mind." i said trying to change the mood.

 

then we go to where taeyeon is hibernating.

 

 

 

chapter 16

 

 

 

my arm was throbbing, the pain was there and it was more painful than earlier. i look at the clock and tiffany was not beside me anymore. i can smell something good. i stand up and look at the bandage at my arm. it was bleeding the shirt i am wearing has a stain of blood already.

 

thankfully tiffany wasnt here. i took the first aid kit. and as i was about to remove the bandage..

 

 

"taeng." a voice that was pretty familiar called me. no it wasn’t the eyesmiling princess. its the other way around.

 

"omo!! taetae your arm!" and now its tiffany she hurriedly place the tray shes holding at the bed and dashed beside me..

 

 

"aish  why didnt you call me?? " she asked worriedly as she took the first aid kit from me.

 

"so caring, anyway good morning taeng,you have some explaining to me if you mind. privately." she said ,yes, its jessica. jessica?! why is she even here??

 

 

 

"miyoung-ss came early and was looking for you." tiffany said.

 

 

"miyoung??" i look at jessica then to tiffany.what was jessica thinking....

 

 

we are sitting at the sofa while tiffany was keep on peeping at

 

us.this girl.tsk tsk.shes too obvious!

 

 

"so, you are a member of the monster division and you didn’t told me??what’s wrong with you??" she said angrily. Her mood was cold and it send some shiver to me.

 

"its better that you didnt know." i said and then she gets madder.

 

 

"better?, TAEYEON! your insane!! you should have told me!! and you think you can hide this forever?" she said. her look is digging my soul.

 

"now you know,what will you do? you will told me that it will be fine then you will do stupid things,you know that i dont like this place and i dont like the way i am living. thats why i did those things in the past. and you are part of them,i dont want to lose anyone anymore." i said in a scolding tone.

 

a tear escapes her eye. now shes really mad.

 

 

"i know that ,thats why i am angry at you.i gave up my position just to fulfill your request. and now knowing that your in that division i regret doing that. what will miyoung say about this? she will not be happy and your the first person to know it" she said and sobs controlling her anger. i hold her hand. i know she will blame herself because of this.

 

 

"i am so sorry. its my fault." she said and cried leaning to my shoulder.

 

 

"you shouldnt.its for the sake of us." i said. she hugged me this time and my arm hurts.but i can tolerate the pain.

 

 

 

*clank*

 

 

a disturbing sound coming from the kitchen i look at it and tiffany was the source.

 

 

"looks like miyoung was a little jealous." jessica said.she tightened our embrace and i cant bare the pain anymore.

 

 

 

"my arm.." i whined. she move backwards and checked my arm.

 

 

"uhhm,sorry. miyoung was still looking at us," she whisper. and shes right.

 

 

"miyoung shes not her. and you said you gave up your position?"i ask.

 

 

 

 

"well,yeah, she costs a lot. and i dont want to be in that place anymore its boring. every week we have this meeting and i am sick of it. but now that i give my division i have no responsibility but i have no power anymore and you will be responsible to me." she said.

 

"i will but i can’t live with you." i said.

 

 

"why?? is it because of her?" she asked and she was now scooting closer

to me.

 

 

"well,for now its a yes. i promised her . its just a week." i said.

 

 

"cant wait~"she kissed my cheek and i swear tiffany was looking at me like she will kill me.

 

 

'taetae you should eat first." she said loudly its more like of a command. she was walking abruptly towards us then she stop in front of me.

 

"eat your breakfast its cold already." she said. shes scary.

 

 

 

*gulps

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17

 

 

 

 

 

i dont know but that woman was kind when we first met earlier,

i cant hear them clearly i dont want to conclude things.but now looking at her getting clingy to my taetae...eventhough she was crying shes getting into my nerves and i cant take this anymore. holding hands,hugs and kiss. i thought we could be good friends but i doubt it now. taeyeon thats it. shes coming with me and will eat this sandwich that i made.

 

 

'taetae you should eat first."i said loudly its more like of a command. i was walking abruptly towards them then i stop in front of taeyeon.

 

 

"eat your breakfast its cold already." i said.

 

"i guess i need to go. see you some other time." taeyeons friend said she was neating her dress.

 

 

"jessica." taeyeon called her,i thought shes miyoung? when jessica stop she face taeyeon and taeyeon hugged her sincerely. i dont know how to react. i have never seen her like that aside from me.

 

 

"thank you." she said in a low tone but i still can hear it.. theres an inflicting pain in my chest. its like a hundred pieces of needles puncturing me. i hate it.

 

i walk off to my room and get inside the bathroom i open the shower and soaked myself from the falling water. i hate this feeling. i hate it more than being a .

 

the water was cold but theres warm water that also flows from my eyes..

 

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

tiffany was standing beside me then she walks out.

 

 jessica bid farewell, i dont get that girl,i didnt had the chance to introduce them to each other properly.

 

 she didnt even say goodbye to jessica and i dont even told her about the good news yet. maybe shes inside her room. i went to the kitchen remembering her sandwich,i didnt had the time to eat it earlier since jessica wanted to talk to me asap. now i need to eat this and criticize it. the first time she make me one was awful. i hope this one was better. i take a big bite and try to finish everything in just a seconds but as i chew the food she made,it taste really good.i savor it and i am thinking what praise i can give her. i know shes a little jealous. i guess.

i clean the mess she made then i walk to her room.

shes not here but i can hear the water from the shower room.

 

 

"aigoo~ i also want to take my bath. can i join you?" i am teasing her just to brighten up the mood.

 

 

"tippany, i will get inside now~" i said and still she wasnt answering. maybe shes not in a good mood.

 

 

"fine i will take a bath when your done." i said and still i didnt hear anything from her.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

i am glad that everything was almost done. i take a deep breath and exhale. its so calming to hear the running water just like a river.

 

 

*sobs*

 

 

 

omo,is there someone here aside from me,a ghost?? theres someone crying.

 

 

 

 

*sobs*

 

 

 

 

its coming fron the bathroom? tiffany??

 

 

 

"tippany? are you crying?"

 

 

 

*sobs*

 

 

 

 

i take that as a yes.

 

 

 

 

"tiffany!? are you okay?? did you hurt yourself?" i asked and she didnt answer.

 

 

 

*sobs*

 

 

 

"tiffany!! i am getting in!" i said and open the bathroom door it wasnt locked.

 

 

 

"tiffany!!" i called her shes standing soaking under the cold water.

 

 

 

 

 

"what are you doing?" i asked while turning the shower off.she slap my hand and turn the shower on again. i turn the heater on.

 

 

 

 

"are you killing yourself fany-ah!" i called her shes crying,she will have a cold ,its freaking cold outside and shes soaking in a freezing cold water.

 

 

 

 

"tiffany,tippany,stop."i said as i hugged her with the towel. but shes still resisting.

 

 

 

"tiffany,stop. please stop." i said as i am hugging her tightly.

 

 

 

 

"leave me alone.taetae...leave me alone."she said still crying and

resisting from my embrace.

 

 

 

"tiffany why are you like that?" i asked and she just cried. she now hitting my chest.but it doesnt hurt.

 

 

 

"i hate.you...i hate,hate...i hate this.."she said and now shes hitting herself directly at her heart.

 

 

 

 

"tiffany, stop,dont hurt yourself."i held her wrist. my arm was bleeding i can feel a warm liquid trickling down.

 

 

 

"sorry,you have been through a lot because of me." i said she stop doing what she does and she looks at me.and now she hugged me. "you

are free now,starting today. you are no longer a member of any division. i am sorry it takes time." i said.

 

 

 

"taetae..taeyeon.." she cried. i hugged her back and rubbing her back.

 

 

 

"hey lets get you change,you might catch a cold." i said she smiled.we got out of the bathroom i made her sat at the wooden chair facing the dresser.

 

 

 

 

 

"taeng,your arm." she notice it.

 

 

 

 

"dont think about it go change your clothes." i said.

 

 

 

 

"taetae,sorry." she said. shes pouting and i find it cute.

 

 

 

"just go change and after that help me to change my bandages." i said as i kiss her forehead. i took some clothes also and change inside the bathroom.when i am finished i walk out and i saw her with the first aid kit again.

 

 

 

 

"sit here." she said patting the bed space beside her.i gladly did.

 

 

 

 

 

"taetae,sorry i make a scene. and i was mad when i saw you hugging that woman i thought miyoung. i am jealous." she said as she carefully cleaning my wounded arm..

 

 

 

"you are really outspoken.but it doesnt matter,sorry if i hurt you. and shes not miyoung. wait where did you here the name miyoung??" i asked.

 

 

 

"ahhh,you where sleep talking and you call her name and told her that you missed her. whos miyoung taetae?" she asked what should i say..

 

 

 

 

"she..she was a..shes a very special someone for me and sica. oh and

the woman earlier was jessica. shes a close friend of mine."i said.

 

"awww!" that stings.

 

 

"ss-sorry." she said and she put the covers now.a moment of silence.

 

 

"by the way the food tastes great. daebak!" i said she looked at me

and smiles.

 

 

 

"there done. now ..i think i deserve some reward for my good deed in cooking." she said touching her lips and tapping it.

 

 

"okay~ lets go out tomorrow." i said. she frowned but smiles a little.

 

 

"fine,but you should kiss me first? why.."

 

 

 

"because you made me kick out of my job,you should be responsible for it.comfort me taetae~" she said ,i lay down to bed.

 

 

 

"yah! you’re not listening." she slap my thighs

 

 

"come here lay beside me,i will hugged you and let you borrow my attention for the whole day you can even cry on me if you feel like it. but i wont kiss you because you will like it." i said. she look at me and shes giving me her childish look.

 

 

 

"taetae,i won’t stop until you will lay your lips on me today." she said and crawled towards my side.

 

 

"tippany,i am injured dont play around." i said.

 

 

 

"i,dont. care." she said and hover on top of me. i think i am so dead right now.