kokoro = heart

doki doki = the sound of a beating heart

gomenasai = sorry

The first time Tao sees Kris is halfway through his biology period, as he’s painstakingly sawing through the ballsack of a goat’s .

And he swears, there was nothing more perfect than that moment. Nothing more perfect than spying on the basketball team on the ground floor, as they skidded and jumped, showing glorious, glorious hips and happy trails. Nothing more perfect than watching the school’s golden boy -literally, his hair’s dyed a gleaming blond- and his gigantic- hands flail about professionally.

Tao’s kokoro goes doki doki instantly and he slices right through the duct he was supposed to be carefully extracting.

He gasps and splays his blood-stained hand over the front of his shirt a little too dramatically.

“My kokoro! Ack.” Tao thumps the front of his chest and stares out the window in shock at the tall blond asian. “My kokoro goes doki doki for senpai!” He exclaims excitedly. After throwing his arms up in the air, he turns around and takes his best friend, Chen, by the shoulders.

Chen wails as Tao smears goat testicle blood and over his spotless shirt.

They get sent out of class not long after.

***

“Dude, what the hell?” Chen whines as Tao mumbles a torrent of ‘sorries’ and ‘gomenasais’ while carefully wiping the blood and from his shirt. “That was a graded test, man. We’re dead.”

Silence hangs in the air as Chen studies the blood-handprint over Tao’s left pectoral. Frankly, it makes him look like a serial killer. A cute serial killer.

All of a sudden, Tao sighs melodramatically and starts staring at the stained cloth he was using to clean Chen. Then, he throws it onto the floor and stomps on it angrily.

“Chen!” He wails as he pounds a nearby toilet door with a fist. Chen hears a frightened squeak edge its way out from the cubicle before Tao takes him by the shoulders again.

“Did you see senpai? Do you know who’s senpai?” Tao shakes Chen forcefully, as if he could throttle the answer out of him somehow.

“What senpai?” Chen cries as he clamps his hands onto Tao’s shoulders too and starts to waggle him around like a baby with a rattle.

“The blond one with gigantic hands who plays basketball!” Tao manages to force out through a slightly constricted windpipe.

Chen pauses for a while, looking heavily scandalized as his expression morphs into one of extreme disbelief and utter shock.

Then, he lets out a strangled howl and launches himself at Tao’s neck so that they both careened into the locked door of that one poor occupied toilet.

“You bloody ! That’s Kris! Kris Wu! He’s an ! A retard! He uses comic sans for his homework! He wears sunglasses indoors! He used the whole school for a sociology experiment on tumblr!” Chen clutches on to Tao’s collar and stares intently into his friend’s eyes.

“He used us.” Chen whispers emotionally. “He used all of us.”

But Tao doesn’t give a flying about the sociology experiment, and only a little about the comic sans thing. Also, he thinks guys with glasses are hot anyway, so nothing lost there.

“Excellent.”Tao shoves Chen away with a glowing grin on his face. “Exellleeeeennt.” He rubs the tips of his fingers together as he plots and plans evilly.

Chen groans and sinks down to the floor, pressing his fingertips to his temples. “All hope is lost.” He fake-sobs under his breath. “The Taoris ship is sailing. Oh my feels! My feeeeels.”

Chen crawls like a worm over to Tao and grabs him by the ankle.

“What, Chen? I’m thinking.”

“Feeeeeeeeels.”

“Go away.”

And so, plan Get Senpai to Notice Taozi is born.

************

wat omfg wat is this i don't know ahhhh

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