The next morning, Luhan receives an email from NIS.

To Our Most Honorable Luhan-sshi:

Yesterday we received an unusual report of a break-in at our main facility, after which a man dressed as a penguin and another unidentified male were seen exiting the area by foot. No equipment was stolen or damaged. However, we would much appreciate if you could help us make sense of this.

Luhan types up a quick reply:

I am currently occupied with another case at the moment and cannot afford to devote spare resources towards this matter. However, seeing as there is no immediate concern, I would not recommend that you pursue this case. In addition, I’m afraid you must be seeing things. People do not dress up as penguins.

“Now what?” Sehun asks, peering over at Luhan’s laptop screen, finally understanding why he had to go through the humiliation of dressing up as a penguin (although that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s over it yet). Luhan really never ceases to amaze him with his creativity.

“Now we have breakfast,” Luhan replies, standing up and heading for the kitchen. Sehun follows because he knows from experience that if he lets Luhan attempt to cook unsupervised, he’ll end up accidentally setting something (or somethings) on fire. Let’s just say this isn’t their first apartment.

Sehun cracks an egg into the frying pan while Luhan sits at the kitchen table, writing up more notes and studying the papers randomly scattered around him. “So, we have to infiltrate the lab through the air ducts, being careful to avoid the lasers that sweep the room at a cross-section approximately every three point two seconds - oh wait, wrong case.” Luhan tosses the file to the side.

Sehun shakes his head while mixing the pancake batter. He’s had enough of lasers, especially after last time, with the sparkly plastic unicorns that shot hot pink lasers at intruders. Contrary to popular belief, lasers are not just colored beams of light. They actually burn through clothing. See, as Sehun found out rather quickly and abruptly, when lasers burn through one’s clothing, one ends up not having any clothing, therefore resulting in a rather awkward few hours of him hiding behind curtains as Luhan poked around the mansion they were in, looking for evidence.

To make a long story short, Sehun does not like lasers. At all.

“The pancakes are ready,” Sehun says, putting a plateful in front of Luhan, who barely looks up from his notes.

“Do we have any fudge sauce and whipped cream?”

Sehun frowns and sits down across from Luhan, picking up one of his pens. “You’re not supposed to put that on pancakes.”

“What else am I supposed to put it on?” Luhan asks innocently, but Sehun’s mind automatically goes somewhere it shouldn’t. He is not going to think about that. Nope.

He hopes that Luhan doesn’t notice the slight flush on his face. “Um. Ice cream, of course. Yes. Uh. Let’s get back to the case.”

“After breakfast. Since when were you so eager to solve cases?” Luhan heads for the fridge and grabs a can of whipped cream.

Sehun stares as Luhan sprays about twice the normal amount of whipped cream over his pancakes, and wonders exactly how he can consume so many calories but not gain weight. “Would you like some more pancakes to go with your whipped cream?”

“Sugar increases energy levels. And I need energy to think,” Luhan justifies as he scoops up a spoonful (because only Luhan would eat pancakes with a spoon). Sehun tries very hard not to look as Luhan continues eating, somehow managing to get whipped cream all over his mouth and fingers. The whipped cream doesn’t seem to bother the elder, as he merely it off, slightly - okay, Sehun is definitely staring now.

He coughs. Loudly. Because there seems to be something stuck in his throat and it’s sort of reminding him of embarrassment except a little bit more. “What are you, five? Try to eat properly.”

Luhan shoots him a reproachful look, but thankfully puts down his spoon and wipes his fingers properly on a napkin. However, his face is still covered with whipped cream, making him look like a naughty toddler who somehow got into the desserts. Sehun sighs, and without thinking, reaches over with a napkin and wipes Luhan’s face for him.

Luhan blinks at him and smiles. Sehun freezes and quickly withdraws his hand, looking away uncomfortably as his hand trembles and he drops the napkin. “Um.” He clears his throat and gestures carelessly at Luhan’s notes. “You should continue working on the case.”

“Case? Oh. Right. Case.” Luhan forgoes his notes and shuffles over to the laptop, cracking his knuckles before setting his fingers on the keyboard. Sehun winces. He has never particularly liked the sound of knuckles being cracked. “We should ask someone who knows how to hack into computers.”

“I thought you didn’t want to ask anyone else because of the entire confidential thing.”

Luhan sighs and shrugs, opening up his email and typing rapidly, although when Sehun tries to lean forward to see who he is sending it to, Luhan blocks his view and shakes his head. “Sometimes you have to swallow your dignity and make use of your sources, Sehun-ah. You just have to be cautious of your secrets. It’s a very important rule for detectives. Remember that.”

Personally, Sehun isn’t sure how Luhan, who has no regrets about rushing out of the door with no pants on (which is something that really doesn’t help Sehun’s concentration at all) to chase a suspect, has to do with dignity. But then, he supposes Luhan is just perfect the way he is and very dignified in his own way and - Sehun stuffs a pancake in his mouth to stop himself from turning into a sappy, lovesick teenage boy. Which he isn’t. Maybe.

Someone familiar enters his thoughts and he almost chokes on his pancakes, because he suddenly realizes why Luhan won’t let him see who he’s sending the email to. There’s only one hacker he knows he never wants to talk to - “You’re asking Grandpa Suho for help?”

Luhan gives him an affronted look, but continues typing out the email. “Don’t call him ‘Grandpa Suho.’ Junmyun is a very nice person, and he’s younger than me, so he isn’t exactly anywhere close to being a grandpa.”

“But - ”

“Swallowing your dignity and making use of your sources, remember?”

“Please don’t make me, hyung.” Sehun knows it’s a lost cause. Luhan has never been susceptible to his attempts at being cute, which leads Sehun to wonder why he humiliates himself with it anyway.

“I’ll buy you bubble tea afterwards.”

Well, this is something new. Sehun freezes, a piece of pancake halfway to his open mouth as he stares at Luhan and wonders if something has changed about the older. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll pay for everything.” Not that Luhan hasn't already paid for everything because he refuses to let Sehun get an actual job for some weird reason that Sehun still hasn’t figured out.

“Fine,” Sehun mutters, but inside, he’s suddenly completely aware of everything around him, because what if Luhan has finally noticed him and actually has figured out a way out of his absentminded world to realize that Sehun really would like to drink bubble tea with Luhan every once in a while and -

“See, it always works. You have to pay attention to little details to convince others,” Luhan says brightly, and Sehun can barely keep his crestfallen expression from showing because damn it, Luhan is only using his love of bubble tea to get him to agree to his plans.

Two hours later, after setting up a meeting with Junmyun (Grandpa Suho, Sehun thinks stubbornly), they sit down and wait for him to arrive while Luhan browses the internet, searching up something for the case.

The older man furrows his eyebrows after a while as he looks at the screen. "Sehun, what's 'the D'?"

Okay, maybe Luhan isn’t searching something up for the case.

“What. Why is - what are you doing?” Sehun leans over suspiciously, but Luhan blocks the screen from him yet again and Sehun settles back on the couch, slightly worried.

“According to Urbandictionary, it’s something girls want a lot.”

Sehun is rather speechless. “Uh.”

“But then there’s something about guys wanting it too.”

“Uh.”

Sehun is really not comfortable with where this discussion is going. Luhan blinks innocently and shrugs his shoulders, asking casually “Sehun, do you want the D?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Sehun stutters, and he’s pretty sure his face is a flaming red by now judging from the amount of heat radiating off of it.

Wait. Cue the moment of epiphanies and such as Sehun realizes that Luhan obviously knows what the D is because Luhan has a PHD and it doesn’t matter how clueless he is, he’s taken health classes before oh -

Or maybe Luhan doesn’t know, because ‘the D’ is a slang term and Luhan has the worst memory for slang terms and wow this is totally not the most awkward moment of Sehun’s life or anything (other than the losing clothes and laser situation).

Luhan looks thoughtful. “I think I should Google it.”

“No, don’t! Google is not... reliable,” Sehun finishes lamely. “Um. Not reliable at all. Like Wikipedia.”

“Wikipedia is quite reliable, in my opinion.”

“No, it’s not!” Sehun shakes his head frantically and tries to push the laptop away from Luhan’s hands. “Remember that time when someone wrote an article on Kris and said he had a pet buffalo in China?”

Luhan stares at him. “Really.”

“It happened. I swear. I even believed that Kris really did have a pet buffalo for an entire day.”

“That still doesn’t explain why I can’t know what the D is.”

“The D?”

Sehun turns around in horror at the sudden arrival of someone he’d really hoped he’d never meet again. Leaning casually against the doorframe to their apartment is Suho in his neatly pressed suit and tie, looking just as calm and collected as he had been the last time they met.

“Long time no see, Luhan-sshi, Sehun...ah. I see you’re having a rather intimate discussion.”

Sehun does not even remotely know how he gets into these situations.

a/n: so basically this is how we wrote this chapter.

bluu: sehun wants the ddddddd heheheheeh should we add him getting the d in this story. you can read through my awkward paragraphs at the end about sehun getting the d hAHAH
angela: WHAT
bluu: :3
angela: sehun wants the d HE WANTS THE D
bluu: is this confirmation or surprise
angela: lolol. confirmation

and that is how we ended up hinting that sehun wants the d but ALSO everyone pls prepare yourself for sehun getting the d sometime later in this story i don’t know when uh yes okay /o\ it's not going to be particularly relevant to plot so we shall warn all you innocent ones in advance for sehun getting the d and yeah basically this is our excuse for writing hunhan pwp um

(did we mention that this story is kind of innuendo-y and not for the innocent oops)