Himchan's body froze at the sound of the voice. Why now? Not here. Not in this state?

“Himchan?” the voice repeated. That voice he thought he'd left behind at the café. This was great. Just great. this. “Himchan, are you ok?” Yongguk's voice asked, concern laced in every word. that. Steps on the ground came closer. everything. Why couldn't he just stop crying, tell Yongguk that everything was fine and just get on with his life? Why was he so damn pathetic? Why couldn't the tears just stop? “Himchan, are you crying?” Yongguk asked, almost next to him. No I'm sweating out of my eyes. Of course he was crying. But how he wished he wasn't. The bench creaked and a quick peak confirmed that Yongguk had sat down next to him. “Talk to me,” Yongguk begged him. A choked laugh escaped Himchan’s throat. Oh how he wanted to. He really wanted to talk to his friend. Tell him everything. But he couldn’t. How could he place his burden on his best friend’s shoulders? That would be unfair. He didn’t deserve it. So Himchan kept quiet as he tried to collect himself off the ground and put up a mask. If he could just stop crying.

A warm hand squeezed his shoulder. Why was Yongguk so sweet? He didn’t deserve it.  His friend’s thumb started his shoulder gently as he kept crying. It was such a small yet sweet gesture. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he talk to his friend? Why couldn’t the little gesture help instead of break the remnants of his heart? Why couldn’t he be happy for the beautiful and lovely person sitting beside him? Why was he still crying? Why? Why? Why?!

Slowly the tears dried out as he sat there, with Yongguk next to him, gently his shoulder with his thumb. Not for one second did his friend move his hand. He raised his head from his arms and looked straight forward, not wanting to look at this friend. He was ashamed. Ashamed he had found out. How could he be so careless? Yongguk was such a nice and caring person who took other’s pain on himself. What if he hurt because of finding Himchan like this? That would be horrible. Yongguk didn’t deserve that. He deserved happiness. The hand was removed and Himchan missed it instantly. His shoulder suddenly turned cold, where his friend’s hand had been. ‘How could you think that? You shouldn’t miss it. You don’t deserve it.’ Himchan scolded himself.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Yongguk asked after a while of silence. Honestly, yes. He shook his head. He couldn’t tell him. Himchan saw him nod thoughtfully out of the corner of his eyes. “Ok. You can tell me when you’re ready,” Yongguk told him. A small smile stretched one corner of Himchan’s mouth. How sweet his friend was. Another silence fell over them. Himchan just stared and refrained from thinking of his hollow core and his sweet friend. He was tired. Tired of all of this. So he shied away from those thoughts and just stared. “Himchan?” Yongguk asked, breaking their silence. Himchan hummed in answer. “Could you look at me for a second?” his friend asked. For a while he didn’t move. Just kept staring and thinking about his friend’s request. When the words finally reached his cloudy brain he realized he still hadn’t turned to look at his friend. Hesitantly he turned and looked at his friend. A weird look was on his friend’s face. Immediately, worry filled him.

“Is something wrong?” he asked his friend.

“No,” Yongguk answered with a shake of his head. “I’m just wondering.”

“Wondering about what?” Himchan asked.

“How there could be no trace of the tears I know ran down your cheeks just minutes ago,” Yongguk answered with a small smile. Himchan smiled ironically.

“It’s a gift,” he told him and looked away again.

“Is it a gift you use often?” his friend asked. Yes. But he couldn’t tell his worried friend that. Yet he didn’t want to lie either. So he just stayed quiet. Not answering. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Yongguk concluded by himself. How he wished his friend didn’t conclude that. But Himchan wished so much, but that didn’t mean his wishes came true. It would be absurd if they did anyways.

“I hate lying,” Himchan told his friend.

“I know,” Yongguk replied. He stood up and Himchan looked up at him, wondering if he would leave him. “Hey Himchan,” he started.

“Yeah?” Himchan replied.

“Wanna go do something?” his friend asked.

“Like what?” Himchan asked with a dull voice.

“Well I was thinking ice cream and then finding a playground with some swings. Or maybe we could go to the center building and play some piano?” Yongguk suggested. A small smile crept up on Himchan’s lips. The center building was like a waiting house by the main bus station. There was a piano there, free for anyone to play. And when Yongguk was sad or troubled, they’d always found a couple of swings and talked about it there. But even though he didn’t intend on telling his friend about his “negative thought patterns”, it would still be nice.

“That would be nice,” Himchan said with a nod. His friend took his hand and pulled him up from the bench and led him from the small clearing again. Yongguk gave his hand a slight squeeze before letting go. He couldn’t help but smile. His friend really was sweet. He didn’t deserve a friend like him.

They went to get their ice cream in an ice cream/candy shop nearby. They didn’t say a word to each other before they got their ice cream. That was when Yongguk broke out into serenading the ice cream. And with his façade back on, Himchan laughed and started joking with him. The two of them walked towards the center building, eating their ice cream and chatted. Himchan made sure to smile and laugh and Yongguk would do the same in return. It was as if his friend never had found out of his crying. It was nice. It was more comfortable.

“You play first,” Yongguk requested when they entered the center building and luckily found the piano unoccupied.

“No you,” Himchan replied.

“No, I at it. You play it,” Yongguk argued.

“No you don’t. You’ve gotten better. So play,” Himchan replied, waving him off.

“Please Himchan,” Yongguk begged clasping his hands together and widened his eyes in a failed attempt to make puppy eyes. “I like it when you play so much. I’ll play afterwards,” he pleaded, making his voice lighter. Himchan laughed at his friend.

“Fine I’ll play first,” he grumbled trying to sound mad and sat down by the piano. Taking a deep breath he hit a couple of tangents with his fingers and started to improvise from there. He put in a story, trying to tell of happiness. To him it sounded empty, but he knew from experience others believed it. So that’s what he played. When he finished, Yongguk clapped with a wide gummy smile on his face.

“Ok move over my turn,” Yongguk said and Himchan did as told by the suddenly eager boy. He’d taught his friend a little piano and he’d gotten good at it. Yongguk started playing Requiem for a Dream, which was the only song he’d mastered fully. It was sad, but Himchan had put a block on the emotions and it was working for once. When his friend finished, Himchan clapped and gave him a smile.

“You’ve gotten better. The flow is better and the emotions are rawer,” Himchan complimented him. Yongguk grinned like a happy little boy.

“Let’s play that one song together,” Yongguk requested.

“Fine but then we need to switch sides,” Himchan agreed and the two switched sides on the wide piano stool. Yongguk started with the basic melody, going through it a couple of times. Himchan then jumped in with his own improvisation. They played like that for a while before Yongguk gave him a tap with his foot. It signaled that they would end after the next round. The two finished at the same time and they looked at each other with a smile. Yongguk’s as sweet as he was himself. I don’t deserve a friend like you.

“Teach me how to play Für Elise,” Yongguk requested.

“Ambitious are we?” Himchan replied with a smirk.

“Always. I’m gonna be as good as you one day,” Yongguk declared with a grin. Himchan gave him a look. “Ok not as good, but close,” Yongguk revised his ambition and Himchan chuckled before starting to teach him how to play Für Elise.

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So yeah... Yongguk found out...

such a sweetheart he is...

a happy chapter? Kind of?

whatever, thank you to all you wonderful people commenting and subscribing :D

did I mention how much I fangirl at the votes, comments and subscribers? They give me a little puff of warmth that brightens the dull and grey world we live in momentarily... that sounded... I da na, I should stop now...

Peace out (^_^)v