Jiyong rolls over in a cold sweat. His breathing is erratic and he is woken out of his sleep for the fifth time. He looks around and sees that it's already morning. With a hand to his head he looks around the room. "There's something there" He knows it....he can feel it. 

 

For some reason he wants to get out of bed. He needs to get out of bed. With rings clinking together against his chest Jiyong gets up from the bed. He puts on some random clothes in his room and opens the door. Jiyong walks into the bathroom and quickly brushes his teeth and washes his face. The younger has never been awake before 9am in years and it's no fun at the moment. 

 

Jiyong goes to the kitchen to where he knows his roommates are getting ready for work. YoungBae almost drops the food in his mouth seeing Jiyong awake. He rises from his chair making Daesung notice the other as well. "Hyung...what's wrong..." Jiyong looks the two over and their weird expressions "Nothing" he says as he goes to fridge to grab a yogurt. He rips open the lid and starts to eat. Jiyong rolls his eyes and then looks at his roommates. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

 

YoungBae shakes his head. "It's nothing...it's just that it's not even 2...you never are awake this early....you were like this when." Bae stops his sentence when he feels a kick from under the table from Daesung. What Bae meant to say it that he was awake early like this when Seungri first died. He couldn't sleep and nearly ate anything. Only resorted to small things....like right now. 

 

Daesung smiles. "Why did you wake up so early? Looking for a job?" They all know that is the last thing on Jiyong's mind...he still has money he can live off of for another five months. Jiyong shrugs his shoulders. "I couldn't sleep...so I woke up...." 

 

Bae then speaks again. "Is there something making you not sleep..." 

 

Jiyong then gets annoyed. "Don't worry...I'm fine...I'm not going through the Seungri cycle again. I just woke up...alright..." Bae then nods. "Sorry man...it's just that we worry about you..." Jiyong then feels guilty and soften his tone. "I'm sorry too...it's just that things have been weird since yesterday...I can't explain it...I just feel I need to get out for a bit today..." 

 

Daesung smiles. "That's good you want to get out. Will do ya good catching some rays." 

 

Jiyong nods and throws away the yogurt. "Yea I'm going to go out. Sorry again guys. I will see you later." Jiyong goes to the front door and walks out. He has no idea where he is going to go so he doesn't hail a taxi. He just feels he wants to walk. He just wants to go some where. ..he needs to be some where.

 

///////////////////////Choi's Toys///////////////////////

 

Over sixty blocks later Jiyong is in front of a toy shop. He never had an interest in toys but it makes him want to go in. His Gucci shoes could use the rest anyways. He pushes open the door and goes into the store. There are tons and tons of toys all around the place. There is no one there at the moment so Jiyong just continues to look around. 

 

"See something you like?" says a old man that slightly scares Jiyong. The younger turns around to see a kind man smiling at him. "Just looking sir." Jiyong smiles back. The man is harmless in Jiyong's eyes so he doesn't see the man as creepy. "Well enjoy looking." Jiyong bows slightly and then continues to look. He looks at all the bots and bear looking bots to flying things on the ceiling. He makes his way all around the store until he gets to the glass cases. THat's  when he sees it. "Can I see that sir?" 

 

The old man smiles. "Ne you can." He pulls some keys from his pocket and opens the glass case. He pulls out the toy and hands it to the younger. Jiyong has no idea what this is but he likes it. "What is this sir?" 

 

"It's a bear brick...a collectable. You have good taste." 

 

Jiyong smiles a bit as he inspects the toy. "So what do you do with it?" 

 

"Well you can do anything with it, but most people keep them on display." 

 

"Oh really..." says Jiyong looking the toy over again. "You get a lot of business?" 

 

The man nods slowly "It's about average for a toy shop. I really enjoy this job..." Jiyong nods and then hands the toy back to the old man. "I will take this..." Jiyong has no idea what he is doing but he is buying a toy. "What else do you have?" 

 

The old man nods. "Neee I will help you pick out some others....by the way what is your name young man?" 

 

"My name is Kwon Jiyong." The younger bows making the man smile. "So polite. Well I'm Mr. Choi. Pleased to meet you. It's nice to see young men come to my store." 

 

Jiyong smiles and  follows the old man as he explains all the toys to him. Jiyong had no idea that such collections existed. Well he kind knew that people collected things but nothing to this caliber. Jiyong then ends up with three other items that catches his interest. Mr. Choi is delighted to have Jiyong interested in his store. The old man rings up the toys while Jiyong continues to look around a bit. 

 

He then notices a display with ton of pictures. "Who is this sir?" 

 

"Oh" The man smiles and comes over to Jiyong with a box. "That is my son." Jiyong continues to look the pictures over. "He is handsome." 

 

"Ne....he was an amazing boy." The man smiles to the display and puts a hand to it. Jiyong then figures things out. "I'm sorry sir..." 

 

"It's okay. It's been about three years now...so I'm content with things now. My son is a happy angel looking over me." 

 

Jiyong loves the joy the man has and he wishes he had the same. He then pulls the rings from his shirt to show the old man. "I wish that I could have that same joy...my lover died about a year ago..." Jiyong shows the shiny rings to the man and he smiles. "What is keeping that joy is that you are not letting it in..." Jiyong makes a confused face and the old man smiles again. "Acceptance is the first step...and then letting go of the hurt is another. Then you will be able to move on. " 

 

Jiyong nods to the wise words and takes the box from the old man. "Thank you sir."

 

Mr. Choi chuckles "It's no problem...by the way young man....I know this is a little odd to ask...but have you eaten dinner yet? I could use the company from a nice young man like you...you remind me of my son..." The old man does want to freak out Jiyong but the younger really does remind him of his Seunghyun. His presence seems like a part of his son. 

 

Jiyong smiles. "I would love to sir." It's not too odd of a request so Jiyong is okay with the gesture. "Oh great. There is a noddle shack close to here. My treat young man." 

 

Jiyong chuckles and for a little bit it's like he has a father. He doesn't mind the man at all. 

 

/////////////////Chubs. Noddles////////////////

 

Jiyong is eating maybe the best plate of noddles in his life. No fifty dollar plate of anything can beat this. "Thank you for dinner sir." 

 

The old man smiles. "It's totally fine Jiyong Shi. I enjoy the company." 

 

"Sir?" 

 

"Ne Jiyong Shi" says the old man piling some noodles on his chop stick. 

 

"What is your son's name?" 

 

The old man smiles. "Seunghyun...Choi Seunghyun. He was my only precious son. We ran the shop together and enjoyed every minute of it." 

 

Jiyong smiles. "He was a very handsome and looks really kind." 

 

"Ne...he wouldn't hurt a fly." The old man chuckles. "When he was older he was over weight. People would pick on him but he still keep his sweet personality. He then became very popular to then soon dropping all the weight." The old man laughs again. "It was pretty funny watching the women get mad when they found out that he was gay...." The old man laughs again making Jiyong feel a little more comfortable. "Was your lover a man Jiyong Shi?" 

 

The younger nods. "Ne....his name was Seungri...he was my life partner...." 

 

"Did you ever consider moving on to new love? Or are you not ready yet?" 

 

Jiyong kind of nods. "I'm ready to move on....but in a way I'm not sometimes...it depends....the past couple of days to be honest I feel a need to be with someone else...." 

 

"Oh this is interesting...someone of interest you found recently?" 

 

Jiyong shakes his head. "I haven't met anyone yet...because I don't make myself available..." Jiyong is already comfortable talking to this man. There is a ease with having a conversation with him. "Just feel a presence of need" 

 

"Well I hope that your need is fulfilled soon Jiyong Shi" 

 

The two get up from the table and the old man pays for the bill. Jiyong bows. "Nice meeting you sir. I will come by the shop more often to check out more toys." Mr. Choi nods. "Ne young man. Thank you for your time. I enjoyed your company." 

 

Jiyong smiles and picks up his box. He hails a cab and then goes into the vehicle. 

 

////////////////////////home////////////////////

 

"You brought toys?" says Daesung looking into the box. 

 

Jiyong sits on the sofa while his roommate inspects his new purchase. "Were these expensive?" 

 

Jiyong shakes his head. "No...they were actually reasonably priced." Daesung smirks. "What is reasonably priced in the book of Jiyong?" 

 

The older chuckles. "Okay reasonably priced to me. The old man had me from the start. I couldn't just walk out of there empty handed." 

 

"So what are you going to do with them hyung?" 

 

"I guess I will buy a shelf and display them as told. They are pretty cool looking and they made me happy." 

 

Daesung smiles. "Well that is good. You didn't seem like yourself this morning." Jiyong nods. "Ne...I was a little bitter. Sorry again" 

 

"Don't worry about that. We understand...some days are good some days are not so good...it happens...." 

 

Jiyong nods. "True...well I ended up having something in common with the old man...loss"

 

"Oh he lost someone too?" 

 

"Ne his son...we ended up talking about our past at dinner." 

 

Daesung raises an eyebrow. "Dinner?" 

 

Jiyong chuckles. "He was legit...he wasn't a playing about my feelings. He really lost a son and treated me like a son today too. He really helped me today." 

 

"Okay well that's good that you at least were able to relate with someone. For a second I thought that some man was trying to take advantage. My bad" 

 

"You are good." Jiyong chuckles. "I'm going to bed now. Tired from waking up early" 

 

///////////////////////////////4am///////////////////////////

 

"Wah! Aahhhh" Jiyong wakes up from a nightmare. It was something again and he has no idea what it was. He wipes the usual sweat from his brows and gets up from the bed. He goes out into the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge. YoungBae whose room is next to Jiyong's comes out into the kitchen too. "Jiyong?" 

 

The man jumps almost choking on his water. "Bae...you scared me...." 

 

"You scared me...what happen? Bad dream?" 

 

Jiyong nods. "This is the second night I have been having trouble sleeping. I don't know what is wrong with me..." 

 

Bae nods. "Don't worry...everything will be fine now. You have us ya know...you can even cuddle up with one of us if that makes you feel better." 

 

Jiyong chuckles. "I'm good...I just need to get out for a while." says Jiyong throwing on a random hoodie laying on the sofa. "But it's like a little past four...will you be alright?" 

 

Jiyong nods. "I need to get out..I just need to do something to get my mind right..." 

 

"Alright man...don't forget your cell phone...call us if you need us okay?"

 

Jiyong goes to the door and walks out into the still dark morning. He once again skips the hailing of a cab and decides to walk. Walking helped him keep his mind off things earlier so it might help again. Seoul is not a bad city so there are always people walking about town at odd hours. He walks for blocks and then finds himself in front of MiMi's Cafe. The place says that it is open 24 hours so Jiyong decides to have a cup of coffee. 

 

He walks into the Cafe and there are few people in there. Some are coming back from the club and others seem to not be able to sleep as well. A woman comes up and Jiyong smiles back at her. "May I help you?" 

 

"I just came to get some coffee" 

 

"Okay well have a seat anywhere...make yourself comfortable." 

 

Jiyong walks back along the booths and then gets drawn to this one booth. It's perfectly in the middle of the Cafe and close to a window so he can watch the people of Seoul pass by. Jiyong takes a seat and then feels instantly comfortable. The woman comes out seconds later. "Here you go sir" She smiles as she places the hot liquid in a signature cup. 

 

Jiyong sips the coffee slowly as he looks around. He could sit there all day because it just seems right to sit there. He looks around the booth and then looks at the table. Most of the tables seems to have carvings in them because people seem to get bored at times. Jiyong looks at the many things in Korean and feels all the different textures. He smiles at some notes and then laughs at the stupid ones. 

 

He trances his hand around all the notes and then notices a different on written in English. It's just the initials. "CSH" Jiyong reads the words out loud in English and traces over it. The three letters stick out  amongst the Korean and it's right in front of him. "CSH...who are you" Jiyong traces over it again and again. He takes another sip of coffee and settles more into the booth. 

 

/////////////////////6am/////////////////////

 

The booth was a little too comfortable because Jiyong is sleeping. He fell sleep about an hour after he finished his coffee. He only has his cell and his wallet on him so he isn't scared of getting stuff stolen from him. The younger sleeps peacefully with is head resting on the table over the three English letters. 

 

"Jiyong..." says a voice..."Jiyong..." says the voice again and JIyong mutters in his sleep. "Ne" 

 

"Jiyong..." says the voice and it's a little louder this time. Jiyong opens his eyes and jumps up. "Ne!" making the cafe with new people stare the man down. Jiyong bows his head in apology and then leans back down on the table. He has no idea what happened but that voice....it felt closer...near....

 

The man then gets up from the booth and puts some cash on the table. He walks out of the cafe and decides to walk some more. He doesn't want to go home with out a clear mind. He needs to get right. 

 

The sun starts to rise and Jiyong decides to hail a cab. He is tired of walking. "Where to sir" ask he cab driver. "Just drive" says Jiyong sitting back. The man makes a face. "Do you have the money?" 

 

Jiyong frowns and pulls out a platinum card. "Is this enough" 

 

The cab driver grins. "Neeeee sir. I will start driving sir. Sleep as long as you like." 

 

Jiyong rolls his eyes as the cab starts to drive away from the cafe. The younger just looks out the window as the streets of Seoul pass him by. He likes the many expressions of the people as they pass by. How people run for cover with the wind gust or how people cut each other off on the road. Jiyong likes how people live their lives in the outside world...they seem happy...and he wants to be too. 

 

 

"STOP!" Jiyong slams his hands on the seat in front of him. "STOP now!" The cab driver does as told. Jiyong's hands the man the card and cabbie swipes it. "Pleasure" grins the cab driver. 

 

Jiyong doesn't say bye but gets out of the car. He looks the building up and down and goes in. He doesn't know why but he does. He needs too...Jiyong goes down many halls...down many wards to finally be in a random ward. There is no one at the front desk but one nurse who is now rising to his feet. "May I help you? Are you lost?" 

 

"I'm looking for someone..." 

 

"We are not allowing visitors at this time sir...sorry..." 

 

Jiyong frowns. "Why? I'm not going to do ..just let me pass by...you can even watch me....please...." 

 

The nurse can hear the desperation in the man's voice. "Go ahead....after five minutes if I don't see you I will come looking" 

 

Jiyong then walks past. "Thanks!" he shouts as he continues down the not so long hallway. All the doors are closed but you can see the patients on the beds. Jiyong looks closely at every room and stares into each window. He has no idea why he is doing this but it seems right. 

 

He finally makes it to the second to the last door on the left. Jiyong looks the door over and looks at the name on the door. "Choi...." Jiyong then gets wide eyed. It's the old man's son's name....Jiyong then gets worried. "I wonder if he knows his son is here..." Jiyong then must see this patient....he wants to give someone joy if he can. 

 

Jiyong comes into the room. It is dimly lit and the patient's bed is covered in wires. Jiyong walks over to the man. "It's you..." Jiyong puts his hand over his mouth. "You are Choi Seunghyun...." Jiyong then gets a headache. He shakes his head a bit and looks the patient over again. He looks at the many wires in his arms and puts a hand over the cold one. "You poor thing..." Jiyong says sadly..."Your appa misses you..." Jiyong rubs the hand again and the headache gets more intense. "Ah" says Jiyong putting a hand to his head. "What is happening to me.."  the cold hand tightens as Jiyong starts to fall to the ground. 

 

The body starts to wake up and then sits up. "Jiyong..." Jiyong has no idea what is happening but his head is killing him...he can't even stand. Seunghyun then gets wide eyed. "Jiyong!!" The man and his weak body can barely lift his arms. He sees his lover on the ground clearly in pain. "Jiyong!!!" 

 

"Aaaaaaaahhh"says Jiyong in the fetal position with his hands over his head. Seunghyun then starts to lift his body. It's has been years since the muscles have worked and the older is finding how hard it is to move. seconds ago he is suddenly thrown back into his body and he hears his lover in pain. Little by little he finally sits up on the bed. "Jiyong!" He reaches down and he tries to pull up on the younger body below him. With all his might he pulls the younger up to him. "Eeeeeerrr" screams the older as the weak muscles make it nearly impossible to life the younger. 

 

Jiyong who is still conscience is able to get into the bed as well. Seunghyun looks the man over and rubs the tiny frame. "What's wrong...Jiyong'..." The younger hears the man calling him...but he doesn't know him...but it's that voice. Jiyong tries to open his eyes against the pain and looks into the man's eyes next to him. 

 

Seunghyun knows that Jiyong doesn't know who he is but he can't help from calling his name. "Jiyong...baby....I love you...it's okay..." Jiyong closes his eyes again as the pain intensifies. Seunghyun then screams up to the heavens. "Stop it. Stop it!!!!" 

 

Jiyong then feels two weak hands placed on his face. Seunghyun then presses his lips to the younger and releases the kiss. "I love you" Jiyong "WAaaaaahhhhhh" screams Jiyong in pain again. Seunghyun can't stand it. He kisses they younger again and this time Jiyong presses back. Tears fall from their faces. The younger then slowly starts to wrap his hands around the older. They kiss as if this will be their last. Through pain and passion Jiyong kisses until he is totally passed out. 

 

The nurse comes into the open room and notices the man he just saw and then his patient now awake laying over the other and hugging Jiyong's passed out body. The nurse pulls out his radio and then screams. "Doctor! Call the doctor! We need help!!!!" The nurse looks at Seunghyun and then screams. "Don't move him!" The older nods and then looks back at Jiyong. He caresses his cheek. "You finally came to me..." 

 

**Hello all! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading and please do leave me your feed back. I love the comments the most because I know how you all feel about the story. Anyways thanks again. Enjoy! And leave a upvote it you can^^