I didn’t say anything to Jun but just went straight to the changing room only to confirm my eariler thoughts. 

As I later entered the sports hall I found myself joining some of the other guys, Woohyun was always friendly. Then I heard the sports hall doors open again, but I avoided looking in that direction. It felt weird knowing their secret without them knowing I knew it, it was even weirder knowing who they were – are!

“Oh,Nuna, there you are!”

“Mm Ki-ah, gwaenchana?”

“Uh, Nuna-neun?”

“Mm, na gwaenchana.”

“ ‘k, yeorobeun, let’s gather round” the coach said, clapping his hands. Everyone gathered and then we began our training. I couldn’t help but think about why they didn’t tell me, I had thought we were friends? Why couldn’t they trust me with this? I continued asking myself as we got into pairs.

“Nuna, let’s be partners” kikwang said.

“Uh, keurae.” I said and started the exercise. Despite feeling hurt and betrayed, I couldn’t bring myself to be angry with Kikwang. He was still like a little child – I didn’t wanna hurt his feelings, regardless of how hurt I was feeling.

The session seemed to be taking forever to end today, each time I saw them look my way, I wanted to ask them why didn’t they trust me?

                        ** whistle's blown **

Dujun’s POV

“Ok, that’s it for today guys” coach said. I went and put my bib down then quickly followed after Kahi.

“Yah, Kahi-ssi wait up.” I called to her. She had seemed a bit uneasy throughout football, but as I neared to her and watched her turn around, she looked at me – but the look in her eyes was very different to her usual self, she seemed like she was upset or angry with me. Had I done something to her?

“Kahi-“ I began, but just as I did, she turned away and continued walking out.

“Hyung…what did you say to Nuna?” I heard Kikwangs voice behind me get closer.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Then why did she leave so quickly?” he asked confused.

“Molla…maybe she desperately needed the ladies” I joked with Kikwang, “Kaja, you can ask her later.”

“Uh, keurae.”

As we got changed, I couldn’t help but wonder back to Kahi and that look in her eyes, what exactly has happened – had I done something?

We exited the men’s changing rooms and headed out, but our plans of waiting for Kahi had fallen through, manager hyung had called me and asked that we get into the company asap as we had been given the head up for the weekend event.

As I was texting Kahi to tell her we had to go, Kikwang suddenly said “Hyung, isn’t that Kahi?” I’d already clicked send by that time, but kikwang was right, the person ahead of us was indeed Kahi. I saw her take her phone out and look at it for a moment – probably reading my text – then she plugged her headphones in and tucked her phone back in her pocket. So she was pissed off at me – wouldn’t be the first, but what had I done this time?

Kikwang hurried towards her and I followed behind, feeling a little unsure of the situation.

“Nuna!” he called to her, but she didn’t respond – probably because she had her volume up to max as I could hear it myself - So then Kikwang tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around to see his bright smiling face. I continued to watch as she removed her headphones

“Nuna, annyeong” he said cheerfully.

“Annyeong” she said and smiled back.

“What you listening to?”

“Just some random music.”

“Ah ne.” there was a slight pause before she spoke

“What’s the emergency with you guys?”

“Ne?” I asked.

“You said you couldn’t stick around – your text?” she had diverted her attention to me now “– how comes?”

“Ah that, we were called in to work” replied Kikwang

“Oh – I didn’t know you guys worked together?” she said, and seeing where this was going to lead to and the suspicious look in her eyes, I cut it short;

“There’s no need to tell you everything Kahi-ssi.” I said jokingly.

“Keurae…you’re right, there isn’t – Mianhae. Anyways, I’ll see you guys around. Annyeongikaseyo” she said, bowing and leaving without a second thought.

“H-hyung- did Nuna just bow to us?”

“Uh” I said, as confused as he.

“Has something happened – she even spoke formally?”

“Molla...anyways, Kaja. We have rehearsals to attend to.” I said feeling very uneasy about Kahi’s behaviour.

“Mm.”

Kahi’s POV

Dujun’s words continued to repeat themselves to me as I got home. “There’s no need to tell you everything” – he’d said it perfectly. There wasn’t I guess, it was just me being silly and naïve again, thinking that in a friendship you’re meant to be opened with one another. But then again, how long had I known these two…a month at most – that’s how long! Yet, here I was getting all sensitive and upset about them lying. Pabo!!

Still my thoughts wouldn't leave me, what was the reason for them to conceal it? - I kept asking myself.

I figured it was because they might have thought that I would act differently if I had known their true identities. I guess I could understand that, I probably would have done the same if I was in their situation. But after spending so much time together and becoming so close (or at least that’s what I had thought!) I would have also told them the truth by now, unlike them.

After some carful thinking, there was only one possible reason for this that made sense – that night… with Dujun,

"I got you - I got it all recorded Dujun-ssi" I had said to him

That part was now suddenly playing over and over in my mind. This whole happening was...his plan! It was him getting revenge on me – wasn’t it?

But what kind of revenge was this? All he's ever done was tease me, and that's never been serious anyways – it’s always been as a joke - or at least that’s how I've seen it.

Chamkan - was this the plan all along? To approach me in such a friendly manner and become my 'friend'', just like he had done that night? Was this all planned? Has his sole purpose in approaching me been to toy with me and only hurt me in the end - was this it? ...Or was he perhaps still curious about the recording - has he been nice only so that he can get that from me?

My mind wouldn't stop creating different reasons, a chain of questions kept coming up and I couldn't seem to figure out the answer for any of them - Why was I so clueless in such a situation?!

I let these thoughts leave my mind for a moment while I turned to another important issue - How was I going to react to this new found knowledge? Do I confront them? Should I get angry at them for lying to me and not telling me and not trusting me as a friend? Or should I simply pretend to be unaware of it all and wait for their move?

***

I had kept away from my phone over the weekend, and have had a few days to think things through, and finally decided on the course of action I was to take;

Whatever reason they had for not telling me didn't really matter. As lovely as they were and although I saw them as friends - they were people I shouldn't and more importantly couldn't be around with, or be close friends with. I didn't fit in with them - and the fact that they couldn't trust me to even reveal their true identities goes to prove that they don't really trust me, nor see me as the friend I had thought I was.

Today I had class with Dujun, and besides replying to his greeting I didn't say anything else, leaving before he could say anything further to me. I only had football to go through and I wouldn’t have to see him nor Kikwang till Friday.

In the sports hall, I had decided that I would hang with Woohyun and Seungtae - me and Seuntae had made up from that early incident, he had apologised and came to admit that he was surprised about me being able to play like that, and I found out he was actually far different from the rough image I had assumed him to be, instead he was a really kind and friendly guy - though he does give me a funny vibe sometimes. Both Woohyun and Seungtae were nice guys, having played alongside them a couple of times, they made me feel very much part-of-a-team. All the guys did, but these two the most - excluding Dujun and Kikwang now.

Anyways, I was hanging out with them when Dujun and Kikwang entered the sports hall, I could feel my heart beat race but I quickly turned to listen to the coach's instructions ignoring their looks or any other feelings that was running through my body.

I asked Woohyun to be his partner for the warm up before Kikwang or Dujun asked me, which thankfully he agreed to. I saw Kikwang and Dujun look a little surprised, but then they got on with the warm up together.

Throughout the session, I could feel Dujun and Kikwang look in my direction, probably questioning why I had been so quiet over the weekend; still, I forced myself to focus on the football and not look over to them.

"Everything Ok with you and the guys?"

"Ne?..Ah, ne." I said smiling.

"You sure?" Woohyung repeated

"Ne ne...waeyo?"

"Just...you seemed a little unlike you that's all." He said and passed the ball to me.

"Oh, no. Everything’s fine" I lied

"Glad to hear that." He said and continued with the drills.

I left the changing rooms on my own only to meet Woohyun down the corridor, than Seungtae and another of his friends joined us. As we continued walking I heard Dujun and Kikwang talking from behind us, but I didn’t turn back. The guys invited me to join them for a meal but I refused. Instantly after arriving home, I laid down and I passed out.

I woke up the next morning to find Dujun’s text

“Kahi-ssi, is everything alright?
Ki is worried about you – we both are”

I’m sure you are- I replied in my head. But then put my phone on charging as I changed to go for a jog – really needing some fresh air!

It was only till the late evening that I replied to him – after having received other messages.

“Ne ne, everything’s fine.”

It wasn’t long till I got a respond – but this time from a different number.

“Nuna, you sure everything’s fine?
Why are you avoiding us?
Ki x”

I didn’t know how to reply to this, I could picture Kikwang’s frowned face, waiting anxiously on the other side. But I really needed to sort these things out. After giving it some thought, I took a deep breath and began typing :

“Everything’s fine, don’t worry about me, just focus on your studies and work hard ok! I’ll see you around Kikwang-ssi. Jaljayo”

I sent feeling my eyes almost whelm up knowing he’d be feeling confused and upset.
But will he be able to pick up my hint? Will he know that I knew? I put my phone away and got down to some studying, knowing that even if he didn’t, Dujun would figure it out.

Over the next few days, I heard almost nothing from them. I figured they knew I was aware of their identities and that I was upset about it - at least I knew Kikwang was feeling that way, I was clueless to how Dujun was feeling: Was he annoyed at me? Angry that I had found out before he could leash his revenge..? Or worried that I might do something (possibly not the latter; since this wouldn’t be the way to it)

I was currently studying with Jen.

"Kahi..."

"Mm..."

"Has something happened?"

"Huh...what do you mean, like what?"

"Something to do with Ki and Jun"

"Ne? ...what makes you say that?"

"You've just been really weird - and you don't talk about them or hang out with them these days, has something happened?"

"To be honest Eonni ...mm"

"Mwondae?"

"...Erm...well... I found out they’re not who we knew them to be. So I'm not talking to them anymore"

"Huh....what are you talking about?"

"Well, they're actually the people we thought they looked alike to."

There was silence for a moment as I let Jen think it through...then watched her stunned reaction.

"Malduandae!....Are you serious!?" she exclaimed, I nodded in agreement and continued writing, while Eonni processed things. After a moment she turned to me again. "Keunde, why are you being like this - why aren't you talking to them anymore?" ...I didn't reply and continued writing until Jen stopped me. "Yah, Kah, Marhae!" She exclaimed at me

"Because they lied Jen! They lied to me, when I thought I was their friend. You know I hate being lied to. And they're idols hun- I couldn’t possibly hang with them as I have been, and even if I wanted to I'm clearly a no-body to them."

"Kah...It's got nothing to do with status when it comes to friendship, we all got on well before you knew this - and that didn't mean that they weren’t idols at that time. They've not changed - they're still the guys you knew and befriended!"

"Ara...but it just feels different now."

"How..?"

"Just...” she waited silently for me to continued “…I just feel betrayed and hurt hun. How can I be friends with someone who doesn't trust me?"

"But Kahi...I understand that, but still they-"

"Eonni...can we just forget this and study please. You’re not going to change my mind"

Jen looked at me and then gave up ..."Araseo."

Dujun POV

Since the day that Kahi had been acting weird, I felt agitated to find out why she had looked at me with such a gaze, but then Kikwang had shown me her message and I had instantly known to well her reason of drawing back.  Now I was left wondering what to do, and thinking of how she would react...perhaps I should have listened to my gut instincts when I told myself to tell her the truth from the very beginning.

Nothing I could do now though I thought as I made my way to Friday’s class - and the first time to see her after she found out. How was I to react? - I thought as I walked in ... there she was and as I felt hesitant as to whether I should wave, smile or how I should greet her, I needn’t have worried as she quickly looked down when she saw me walk in.

keurae...Araseo. Just ignore me why don't you. I thought annoyed as I took my seat two rows behind her - my original spot before I had started to sit with her during our 'friendship' days.

I didn't even have an opportunity to approach her after class as she left in the blink of an eye.

I was more worried about Kikwang as he was going to see her at football and he'd been upset all week. I ended up taking his phone at one point as he wouldn’t stop looking up her name and writing texts he never sent.

Once I had told him that Kahi knew who we were, he'd panicked saying she hates us for not telling her and for lying to her; and I guess he was right, but he was overly stressed - even the other members saw a difference in him, he's been really quiet and doesn't say anything to us anymore, it’s like he lost his best friend whom he'd known forever, when he'd only met Kahi about a month ago. But then again, that was just like Kikwang, so kind hearted and sensitive – always wearing his heart on his sleeve.

As we waited for the rest of the football members to show up- we saw her enter and go straight to the back of the group, after the coach's instructions she got in a group with one of the other guys and I could see how hurt Kikwang was feeling when she only gave a smile in reply to his greeting earlier and has avoided us since.

We were put in teams and she was in the same team as me, but again she didn’t say anything and just played. Even when passing the ball, she wouldn’t pass it to me if she had other members available.

This time though, she couldn't avoid passing it to me, everyone else was marked and she too had an opposition approaching her. She looked up and it was the first time we had met eyes since Tuesday...it felt weird and it made me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

"Dujun-ssi!" she said and passed it to me. Although I took the ball and moved forwards with it as if it were nothing, I could sense myself heat up - I hadn't expected to hear her call me by my full name again....at least not any time soon, and as I made my way to the goal, I turned my focus on scoring. I looked for an opportunity to shoot but the other team was approaching me, I saw Woohyun was free from our team but for some reason I didn't want to pass the ball to him, so I tried escaping, but again they were blocking my side...Woohyun was still opened and Seungtae was coming my way from the opposing team...I saw Kahi was also moving forward unmarked but as I got ready to pass to her, Seungtae got the ball from me.

I could sense the tense and annoyed look from my team members - asking why I didn't pass to Woohyun which I myself couldn’t quite come up with a plausible reason only saying I didn't see him.

***

Yet again, Kahi exited the sports hall quickly, but in the changing rooms Kikwang was also hurriedly getting changed and getting me to do the same so he don't miss Kahi as she left - and we didn't - we met her just as she was exiting the girls changing rooms.

"Kahi-nuna!" Kikwang called without a moment’s thought when he saw her. I saw her turn around with worried and hesitant eyes.

"Uh Kikwang-ssi"

"Nuna, please don't call me that~" he said as we approached her

"Mianhaeyo, but I just don't feel comfortable calling you anything other than that...did you need something?" she adds after

"A-aniyo" Kikwang replies

"Keureom, I'll be leaving then" she said and turned around, but just as she did, Kikwang grabbed her by the arm whilst saying "Nuna, chamsimanyo" she stopped and turned back to us.

"What is it?"

"Mianhae - jeongmal chesonghaeyo Nuna…please forgive us!" He said turning to me now, although I hoped he wasn't expecting me to also apologize like he was right now – I knew too well that that was exactly what he wanted me to do.

I turned to face her and saw how her soft expression turn sour as she turned to look at me, and as if reading my feelings she spoke first "Look, Kikwang-ssi there's no need to apologise anymore, I've already forgiven you. But-" she began, and gently removed his hand from her arm then lowering her voice a little, added: "- I don't think we should be having this kind of conversation out here, you are idols after all" she said and looked behind us. I followed her gaze too where she was looking and saw the other students coming our way.

"Keurae, majayo...At least let us walk you -" I saw her look uncertain - or was it suspicious? At my suggestion; but knowing to well that she was going to reject, I spoke before she could "- that way it won't be that suspicious in comparison to going our own ways - we were friends at one point right?"

After a hesitant moment she replied "Keurae." and turned to walk with us alongside her.

----
I don't think I've been this awkward with another being before, but it really was as we walked her towards her dorm, since we still had to walk that way to get to the parking lot. Kikwang kept fidgeting, and Kahi was keeping a stern face on whilst avoiding looking at us, furthermore, neither of us was talking - so when manager hyung’s face suddenly lit up my phone, I don't think I could have been more relieved and grateful for his call.

"Yobeoseyo...ne hyung" as I answered, I could see the relief in Kahi’s face also. She whispered her thanks to us, said bye with a bow and left quickly without even waiting for us to reply. "Ne, araseo hyung. Ne~"

"C'mon Kikwang. let's get going." I told him as I wrapped my arm around his neck. "Don't worry so much. Everything will be alright." I said, worried about this dear dongsaeng of mine.

"Mm..." he replied exiting from my head-lock and walking ahead silently.