courage is a questionable matter

word count: 1586 words

summary: Non!AU where Luhan is a sappy dork who wants to get couple earrings with Chen (because both have the same ear pierced)

notes: another fill for exopromptmeme-that thread is literally the only thing keeping me alive WARNING: Luhan is really unusual and there's too many because here.

In the world where Jongdae is younger by two years and ing Luhan is a persistent prick, there is no way in the whole ing exoplanet is Jongdae going to get away from Luhan when the elder proclaimed his desire to get a couple earring with said vocalist because come on, Luhan in his hyung and ‘I’m ing fabulous’ glory is very confident that his lovely dongsaeng will say yes but reality is not nice sometimes and Jongdae may not be lovely after all when he rejects the request. That kind of sent the dorm in chaos probably bigger than the one caused by the earthquake that struck South Korea during the Silla Kingdom where at least 100 people died but okay fine, no one died so far in this Luhan-Jongdae situation but at least five beauty sleeps has been interrupted and three closets has been destroyed in Jongdae’s attempt of escaping the ing fabulous Luhan.

“Go get it with Sehun or something, hyung!” Jongdae has shouted somewhere in the middle of locking himself inside the storage room with a crazy Luhan trying to bang the door open. “But Sehun did not have his ear pierced!” Luhan managed while focusing all his might to get the stupid door open. “He did, hyung! Open your eyes and stare at the wonderful world in front of you. Maybe you’ll find someone who’s willing to get the same earring with you! How about Minseok hyung?” Jongdae breathed on the other side of the door. “Oh I’m opening my fabulous eyes alright and there’s no baozi in sight and you are my wonderful world. Now open the door and let’s get a couple earring together chengzi!” Luhan surprisingly still managed a comeback despite his wearing strength and damn, why won’t the door open?

After hundreds of self-praising comments from Luhan, Jongdae finally unlocked the door to a dying Luhan slumping down onto the door and a slumping Luhan is heavy, so Jongdae felt like he’s now trapped inside the room without him wanting it. Well, karma’s a so Jongdae had dealt the problem with Luhan covering his ears to Jongdae’s melodious voice screaming for anyone to come help move Luhan out of the way so Jongdae can continue life as it is.

An obedient Tao came running with sweats of dancing and hard work from the dance studio two rooms away and that meant Jongdae’s scream was loud enough it’s a miracle Luhan hadn’t his pants yet. Well, maybe that’s because to Luhan, everything that comes rolling from Kim Jongdae’s tongue is heaven’s melody.

“What the hell, ge,” Tao spit despite having to carry Luhan away from the door. “Shut up Taozi. One day when your duizhang comes running and yelling about getting a couple earring or bangles or then you’ll understand,” and Jongdae made a mad dash for the lift to third floor and proceeded to lock himself inside the recording studio with an unsuspecting Kyungsoo choking on water as soon as he entered. “I think Luhan-ge likes you, Chenchen,” Kyungsoo spoke after he’s sure there’s no more water all over his face. Jongdae rolled his eyes and said something on ‘Luhan can go to hell with his crazy obsession and what’s with everyone and nicknames today’ and Kyungsoo decided to spit his water directly onto Jongdae’s face this time, because really, Jongdae’s an idiot.

When they were boarding the van to SBS building to record a stage for Miracles in December, Luhan and his consistent persistence managed to scurry his way to rest his firmly next to Jongdae. Jongdae huffed his disapproval but persistent Luhan is not gonna go away. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun didn’t want to get involved in this hell of a love a story because Luhan is ing fabulous and Jongdae’s a dense idiot, so they sat quietly while humming to their song because they need to get some blood running their vocal cords. Luhan on the other hand, had a special way of getting it done. He hummed ‘My Turn to Cry’ close to Jongdae’s left ear, a little to close because Jongdae’s stomach is doing those weird somersaults that he usually does when something vibrates in his ears. This ride went awhile with Luhan staring straight at Jongdae’s left profile all the while pouting his lips and humming in Jongdae’s left ear until Jongdae decided this should end because his stomach is getting really funny  by now so he turned sideways to meet Luhan in the eye.

Oops. Wrong move.

Luhan’s breath tickled Jongdae’s lips as Luhan’s own lips continued pouting a little too close to his nose, and Jongdae swallowed a big gulp of saliva and courage to open his mouth and squeaks, “what are you doing?” to Luhan. The elder stared intensely into his eyes, “staring at your left ear.” Jongdae felt like punching Luhan into another universe. Jongdae didn’t. “Why?” he squeaked again. Luhan pouted and poked Jongdae’s left ear in a weird manner because, well, Luhan is weird to begin with. “It’s empty. You didn’t wear any earring for a long time now so the hole might heal so why don’t we get a couple earring and that could save you a lot trouble from having to punch new hole,” yep, because Luhan is seriously weird. Jongdae punched him, not as far to another universe, but hard enough to have Luhan quiet for the rest of the way.

Seriously, what’s with Luhan and his earring craze? Though, Jongdae has to admit, Luhan’s persistence is quite charming.

The next day, Luhan spent the first half of the hours at the dorm since he has no schedule and maknae Sehun was there to listen to his antics because maknae Sehun is maknae and he has no power over Luhan hyung. “So, which one of these designs do you think Jongdae would like more?” Luhan pointed to a page full of studded earrings to which Sehun shook his head aggressively. “Chen hyung doesn’t have interest in studs. How about you confess to him instead?” Sehun crossed his legs, not sparing another glance towards Luhan. “Okay then how about- wait what?” Luhan went wide-eyed. “You like funkyfunky Chen hyung, that’s what,” maknae Sehun nonchalantly answered. “What the hell maknae. Cut your and help me choose some design!” Luhan is now throwing tantrums. Sure, because Luhan is weird, remember? Sehun huffed in annoyance and felt like slapping Luhan some sense.

“Hyung, grow some balls and tell Chen hyung that you like him. Save your pathetic some pride instead of whining like a child and creating some non-existent obsession on couple earrings.” Luhan slumped back on the couch and threw the magazine away. “Jongdae already knows I like him,” he breathed. Sehun put a hand on Luhan’s shoulder and gave him a piece of mind, “then tell him again, because I’m pretty sure he’d like to hear that coming from your own mouth,” and Sehun was up for a trip to the kitchen. “But we both pierced our left ears so I thought a couple earrings would be good!” Luhan protested for the last time.

Really, Luhan is a persistent prick.

When Jongdae came back with Chanyeol and Kris he was greeted with Luhan in his blue koala hat and Chanyeol’s wolf hat in his hand. “What the hell hyung that’s my birthday present,” sleepy Chanyeol rubbed his eyes and half-assed tried to snatch the hat away from Luhan’s beautiful hand. “No, it’s just a hat I passed and gave to Yixing because you have low standards on fashion,” Luhan stuck his tongue out and Kris placed a hand over angry Chanyeol’s mouth, because Kris had enough of happening.

Jongdae tried to walk into the living room but he was immediately locked by the long hands of Luhan and Jongdae is not very fond of being steps away from his very important rest. “What do you want, hyung?” he tried really hard not to sound annoyed but not to sound fond either, maybe Jongdae is confused himself. “Let’s go out and have a couple earrings,” Luhan held out the wolf hat to Jongdae because maybe he thinks they might look like a cute couple though the koala-wolf might be a weird combination. Cue the weird Luhan again. “Hyung, not this again,” Jongdae breathed because really, he’s really tired.

“Well then, how about this?” Jongdae had to search the back of his brain on how to properly breathe again because hell, Lu ing glory Han is kissing him full on the lips.

Lu ing glory Han.

Jongdae blinked a good three times before responding into the kiss and the two had the rest of the members staring at them interestedly.

“They should’ve ed a long time ago. This is really gross,” only the maknae was unhappy because he kind of suffered persistent Luhan’s pathetic ’s antics. Speaking of persistent Luhan, he pulled away close enough to stare at Jongdae’s beautiful eyes. “Should we go get couple earrings now?” Jongdae flushed a bright red because hell, Luhan freaking kissed him and oh- is this a confession? “You know, you should’ve just told me you like me,” Jongdae in his sarcasm pride directs at the elder. “That’s not my style. Everybody knows that,” Luhan replied in his chesire grin and well yeah, Jongdae is younger by two years and Luhan is a persistent prick and there is no way Jongdae is going to get away anyway.

They ended up getting a couple earrings after all.

xx,

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