One lonely grave
Don't Forget MeThat sentence runs trough his mind again and again. She’s dead. She’s dead. His heart is filled with a strange feeling. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to react. After all... He doesn’t know her. So much time passed...
No. That’s not true. He knows her. His memories are slowly coming back. He remembers her smell. He remembers her smile. He remembers her voice...
“I’m so sorry, Wookie.”
When he tries to look at Yesung, he realizes he can’t. He winks, other tears find their way down his face. He cries. He didn’t even notice...
He wants to hug his knees again. He wants to crouch. He wants to hide in his imaginary shell as he used to do. But he can’t. Yesung won’t let him do it. Older man raises his hands, grabbing the boy to his embrace. And at that moment, Ryeowook starts to sob. His body is shivering, he wants to stop tears but he can’t. He thought... He hoped... He hoped to see her again. He hoped to-...
“Mummy?” His scared eyes are looking at floor covered with the glass.
“It’s okay, honey, go to your room.”
Tired smile. Unpleasant sounds as his mother sweeps the shards. Shivering hands, which used to hug him firmly, are shaky and weak now... Small water-drops fall to the floor. He is confused. Then, he looks at his mother again. Tears.
“Mum, why are you crying?”
She just his tiny baby face. “It’s okay. I love you, Wookie.”
He is just seven. He can’t realize his mother is weaker and weaker, day by day.
“I’m so sorry, Wookie.”
Yesung his hair, hugging him tightly, whispering soothing words. He knows it’s useless. It will not help him. He knows those feelings. He knows every consolation is pointless. It hurts. It still hurts though so much time has passed...
Wookie doesn’t say anything. Yesung’s touches are calming although they are still a bit unpleasant. Even if the fear is still here, he needs him. And somewhere deep inside his mind, he trusts him.
+++
He looks at a cold stone in front of him. Letters, which used to be golden, are already faded and almost unreadable. It’s grey and dirty and a weed grows all around. Among all those candles and flowers it is empty.
Forgotten. No one remembers...
“Why?” he whispers quietly.
Older man looks at him. The boy is still watching the headstone. He doesn’t see anything else than this faded piece of stone. And his eyes are as empty as the grave.
“You were her only family. She didn’t have anybody else,” he answers slowly.
He sounds calmly but he’s not. He is scared; the shivers are running down his back as he looks at the overgrown grave. It is not pleasant view. Although he hasn’t known that woman... Although he hasn’t ever met her... The way of sorrow floods his mind. The lonely grave of one lonely soul.
Ryeowook remains silent. He doesn’t know what he should say. That view hurts him. He realizes who is lying there. He feels oppressive unease as some burning pliers would clench his heart. He presses Yesung’s hand a bit tighter. He begins to regret that he wanted to come here. Why did he want it?
“I wanna go away.”
Yesung doesn’t object anything. He turns back and he leads Ryeowook away. They pass the gate, heading to the car. Ryeowook looks back for the last time.
Yesung looks at the boy who is sitting stiffly on the car seat next to him. He looks so scared.
“Are you alright?” Yesung asks, pressing his hand. Ryeowook jerks.
“Yes, I am... I... I’m sorry...”
His eyes find the floor; he wants to hug his teddy bear but it is not here with him. At least his fingers press fabric of his trousers and his shoulders hopelessly drop. Yesung leans over him, quickly fastening the safety belt. Then he starts the car. The first raindrop falls on the windscreen and other follows it. It rains. The sky darkens so fast that he almost doesn’t notice it. Another storm.
At the moment they park in front of Yesung’s house, heavy rain rages all around. Even if it is only a few meters to the door, they are both soaking wet. Yesung quickly unlocks the door.
“Come on, take off those wet clothes before you catch a cold.”
He leads him to the bathroom, placing him on a bathtub. Then he disappears for a while, coming back with two towels just a minute later.
“What are you waiting for?”
Yesung gets down on his knees in front of trembling Wookie, ping his wet jacket. He presses a hem of his T-shirt, trying to pull it over his head. Wookie jerks in fear, pulling away.
“Wookie, don’t be scared. You have to take it off, it’s wet,” he says slowly but Wookie is looking at him with the same fear in his eyes. Yesung sighs, raising his hands to Wookie’s face. He grasps it, looking firmly to his eyes.
“Don’t you still trust me?” he asks desperately. He thought there is at least some slight trust between them...
Ryeowook bites his lip. He trusts him...but... He wants to look away but Yesung is still pressing his face, making him look in his eyes. And he can see there... He doesn’t know. He can see there a grievance? It’s difficult to guess.
“Trust me, please,” he whispers, releasing his face, returning to his T-shirt. He starts slowly take if off. Ryeowook clenches his teeth, suppressing the fear which is circulating in his veins.
“Don’t be afraid of me, Wookie,” he can hear Yesung’s voice. He takes a deep breath, letting Yesung undress him. He closes his eyes, crouching. He doesn’t know what he is waiting for. Touches? Pain?
A soft warm towel covers his shaking shoulders. He opens eyes, meeting Yesung smiling face. The older man takes another towel, putting it over his head. He starts slowly and softly dry Wookie’s hair.
Yesung quietly continues drying. He doesn’t care about his own wet clothes which are unpleasantly cold. He doesn’t care about drops of water dripping from his hair and coursing down his face.
Wookie doesn’t talk as well. He hides himself in the soft towel, waiting with his eyes closed until Yesung finishes. His mind is attacked with unwanted thoughts which he would like to erase. But he can’t. They are coming back again and again. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to think about that empty grave. Is there really nobody to care...?
“Will it be the same?”
“What?”
Yesung raises his head, looking at Wookie. But he still sits with his eyes closed. He looks he doesn’t even realize he said it aloud. He puts the towel away, finally taking off his own wet shirt and drying his body.
Wookie doesn’t perceive what Yesung is doing. He is sunk in his own thoughts. And they scare him. They follow him whole rest of the day and they get into his dream as well which they change into terrible nightmare.
Empty stone. Grey. Dirty. Lonely. Forgotten. Nothing around but darkness. Emptiness. Nothingness. Silence. And in that darkness the golden sign is written in the stone.
Kim Ryeowook.
He wakes up with the scream. His face is drenched with tears. His eyes are full of dread. His body is shaking in fear and his quiet sobs resonate trough the room. The silence of the room frightens him so much more. He grabs his teddy bear, looking around the dark room. It seems the darkness is moving. It seems the nothingness wants to grab him and suffocate him. Without thinking of consequences, he gets up, running to the door which is separating his room and Yesung’s one. He presses a handle, opening the door.
What is he doing?
He stops in the middle of the room, looking at the sleeping man. He bites his lip. He shouldn’t be here. He is not supposed to be here. He turns back to his own room but after one steps he stops. It seems the darkness is just waiting for him to return. He sobs helplessly. What shall he do? He presses his teddy bear to his chest, unable to move.
The strange noises wake Yesung up. It’s just a while until he realizes he hears quiet sobs. He opens his eyes, sitting up. His eyes are searching the room until they find tiny figure at the door.
“Wookie?”
The boy freezes, turning back. Has he woken him up...? He didn’t want it...did he? Other tears find their ways down his cheeks. Yesung can’t overlook them.
“Wookie, what happened?” he gets up, coming to the boy. Ryeowook makes a move backwards and Yesung stops.
“What’s going on, Wookie?”
Ryeowook try not to sob.
“No... It’s nothing just... Nothing....” He wants to turn back and hide in his room... “I’m scared,” his lips says it without his will.
“Scared? Why are you scared?” Yesung slowly draws near to him, raising his hand as he would like to hug him. But he doesn’t do it. He is waiting.
“I’m afraid that...” His mind is wrapped with fear, remembering that dream. He still feels that loneliness. That silence...
“I’m afraid that no one will...” He wants to talk but just another sob leaves his throat. “No one will remember...” He whispers.
Yesung is confused, he doesn’t understand. He is still too sleepy to figure out what Ryeowook is trying to tell him.
“...when I die.”
Yesung’s eyes widen in sudden understanding. He still thinks about that grave...? My God, Wookie! He doesn’t wait anymore, grabbing his tiny body in his arms.
“Wookie,” he sighs. The boy in his embrace finally burst into tears.
“Don’t think about things like these. You’re too young to die.”
Ryeowook presses him tightly, wetting his pajama with his tears.
“I have nobody like her,” he says quietly. He had only her. Nobody else. As she had only him. When he dies, there will be nobody...
“Silly,” Yesung smiles, pressing his face in his hands. He leans over him, softly kissing his forehead. “You have me.”
A/N: Thank you so much for patience. I hope you like the chapter and sorry for waiting so long. I promise I will translate another part as soon as it will be possible ^.^
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