Lay forced himself to ignore the bitter tone that swung in her voice and followed her quickly, grabbing her wrist. “Why?” He called out, genuine worry showing in his face. Fei turned around and looked at the hand that was wrapped around her wrist. When their eyes met, Lay immediately regretted holding her back. He could see tears in her eyes. Damn those tears. They made him want to retreat and leave her alone again. He knew that the longer he held her back, the bigger was the possibility of one of those tears rolling down her cheek. He couldn’t bear the thought of knowing that he made her cry.

Giving her an apologetic and sad look, he let go of her hand. Lay watched as she walked away. He stared at the corridor for a while, even though she was long out of his sight. His mind was occupied with one question: why was she like this? He wanted to know. He needed to know.

Days passed and Lay became more reluctant. He didn’t follow her around anymore, he didn’t use each opportunity to speak to her. He just watched her from afar. He felt like it was right to keep some distance right now. He just wanted to wait. As much as he seemed like a coward, he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to see tears. Anything but that.

Today was a day Lay wanted to get out of this circus building. It was a day with a special meaning. Before he entered the circus, he had a friend. That friend wasn’t just an ordinary friend; he was his best friend, the boy he grew up with, a brethren. And not only that, the friend … was dead, and today was the anniversary of his friend's death. Even though it had been long, he couldn’t get over the weird, dumb feeling in his chest. Every single year it would creep onto his chest, drowning him in regret … He needed to go out for fresh air. He needed a clear mind.

When his performances were over and the others were busy cleaning, he left the circus through the backdoor, unnoticed by the others. As the oxygen filled his lungs, he smiled softly. The night was beautiful, the temperature was incredibly warm for November – he liked it very much. Looking at the sky, he strolled around, enjoying the wonderful air.

He went to the bench that was around twenty meters away from the circus, a handful small trees surrounding it. It was his favorite place. When he came closer, he noticed a figure sitting on the bench. His pulse fastened. It was Fei. He automatically hid behind one of the trees.

It took him a few seconds to realize that she was crying silently. She just stared at the sky while tears rolled down her cheek, moistening her skin. Instinctively, Lay walked past the tree and went closer. Fei looked up, her eyes wide in shock. Just as she wanted to stand up and walk away, Lay grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a soft hug. “Just think of me as the wind. Pretend I'm not here,” he whispered to calm her down.