Kai let his lips curl up in his trademark smirk as he passed through the reporters, hiding the instinctive flinch every time their cameras flashed – which, incidentally, was too often for his liking. He could hear nothing but the loud, jabbing inquiries from the reporters, the high, excited cries of "Kai!" from some of the female guests and the lower, more demanding tones of "Mr Kim" from his business associates. And beneath that, there were incredulous whispers from everyone else, disbelieving, unsure – clearly no one was expecting him, and that was how he liked it.

"Kai," Kyungsoo greeted, shaking his hand firmly. There was a wry smile on his face, one that Kai welcomed because it meant he still had his friends. "I didn’t expect to see you tonight."

"Is that so?" Kai responded, still smiling at the crowd around them. "It is my party, after all."

"After your little absence, no one knew what to expect from you," Kyungsoo said quietly, before raising his voice. "Look who's back!"

The room sounded with cheers, and Kai was swallowed by the crowd – hands patted his back, held his hand and lips kissed his cheek. He refused to respond to those, instead searching for familiar faces – Joonmyun, Sehun, Baekhyun and the rest were there to welcome him back, but even they hid confusion behind their grins.

Kai felt his own smile fade and turned to the bartender for a drink, yearning for the familiar liquid to burn down his throat once more. He knew he would feel better if he wasn't so aware of his surroundings.

"How are you feeling?" The soft voice came from Sehun, who took a sip of champagne as they both looked around the room. Once, they would have taken turns pointing out beautiful girls who deserved their attention for a night, but now Kai was all-too aware of the longing stares from those girls, heavy on his skin. He didn’t – couldn’t – meet their gazes, lest he promise them something he couldn't give.

"I’m fine," Kai answered easily, letting his gaze roam around the room. "How have things been for you?"

"Well enough," Sehun said, matching Kai's casual tone. He pretended not to notice that Kai was nodding in the way that meant he wasn’t paying attention, but then he did a double take, attention focused on one of the girls nearby.

“Yeah, that’s good,” Kai said, still staring at the girl. Sehun couldn’t quite recognise her from the side, but apparently Kai could – or perhaps he was more interested in the way the cut of her dress revealed her .

His eyes never strayed from the girl’s figure as Kai said, “Hey, I’ll be right back,” handing his glass to Sehun, who smiled wryly and shook his head, before making his way to the girl.

"Hey."

You stiffened at the familiar voice, even though you'd been watching his approach out of the corner of your eye. "Mr Kim," you said amiably. "Fancy seeing you here."

The corners of his mouth lifted up, somewhere in between a smirk and a smile. "This is my party, if I’m not mistaken," Kai said, still not taking his eyes off you. "I assume you were the one who organised it?"

"As your personal assistant, I took a few liberties," you reasoned. "Good publicity, and all that."

"Dance with me," Kai said casually, tugging your arm gently until you were standing in front of him. He caught your hand, and you tentatively placed the other on his shoulder. Your mouth went dry when he placed his hand on your waist, the tips of his fingers brushing against the small of your back – a light, but almost intimate gesture that made you shiver. "Good publicity, as in you knew I'd be here?"

"Good publicity, as in people need a reminder that Kim Enterprises is still important," you countered, not minding the familiar banter. At least it took your mind off the fact that you were dancing with Kai, famed playboy, owner of said enterprises and your boss. "I suppose it did help that you actually showed up."

"So you're glad to see me?" Kai tilted his head inquisitively, still smiling that half–smirk in your direction. He hadn't taken his eyes off you since the first greeting, and his attention was disconcerting, to say the least. You knew his reputation – better than anyone else, you might add, seeing as Kai often left the girls in his bed for you to deal with – and you didn't want to risk what was left of your own.

"More surprised than glad," you answered, trying to side step the question and simultaneously avoid his gaze. It was more difficult than you thought, since he appeared determined to catch your eye and get an answer.

"So you are happy to see me here," Kai said. "I wasn't too sure, you do seem a little nervous."

"Only a little?" you asked sarcastically. "Well, I'm wearing a dress that exposes my whole back, and I'm dancing with you."

"Is that such a bad thing?"                                               

"You are Kai," you said dryly. "You're one of the youngest CEOs around, you have a reputation with women, you are reasonably good-looking – not to mention the numerous rumours surrounding how I got this job, as well as how I'm keeping it and the way you keep staring at me."

"You do look beautiful tonight," he said matter-of-factly. "Would it make you feel better if I fired you?"

"You wouldn't last long without me," you retorted lightly.

You stiffened as Kai leaned in towards you, his "Is that so?" soft and low against your ears. You were too stunned to say anything, even as he pulled back with a chuckle.

He’s just being Kai, you told yourself firmly, but you still let go and stepped away. “I-I need some air.”

"I'll come with you," Kai offered, taking your arm again to lead you to the roof. The air outside was cool, and the gentle breeze was a strange sensation against your bare skin. You leaned heavily on the railing of the balcony, admiring the view. The city was lovely, sparkling with lights that gleamed against the night sky, and you weren't too keen to face Kai after his little display of flirting back then.

After another moment, you steeled yourself and turned to face him. "Look, what happened back there...can't happen again. I mean, you're my boss and I know about all those women and it was a mistake–"

You froze as Kai closed the gap between you and kissed you tenderly, his lips soft but urgent against yours. His hands cupped your face gentle, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones as he angled his head to kiss you better. You stared incredulously –almost hysterically – at him, aware of the fact that his eyes were closed, long lashes casting shadows, that this was Kai, and he was kissing you. And then he opened his eyes and pulled away, his breathing ragged as he stared down at you, eyes dark with an unidentifiable emotion–

You stopped, understanding dawning. You knew that look, had seen it many times before on others and on him, when you’d caught him staring at you sometimes. Your breath caught as Kai brushed his hands against your face again, his touch as gentle and delicate as a butterfly. The look of adoration in his eyes almost frightened you with its intensity, but you couldn’t deny the way tingles spread wherever he touched your skin.

Slowly, uncertainly, you reached up and caught his hand, holding it a hair’s breadth away. “Please,” you breathed, still struck by the look in his eyes. You didn’t know how to feel, what to think, especially after he had just kissed you.

Goosebumps covered your arms as he pulled away, so slow and deliberate that you almost wanted to call him back. You were well aware that his hand was still in yours, that his body was still too close for you to think properly but none of it could compare to his eyes, shining in the starlight. It was terrifying how vulnerable he was; the wrong word, the wrong move would bring his mask back.  

“Saying something, please,” Kai whispered, his voice carrying in the silence. You stared at him mutely, dimly aware that your hands were shaking in his.

“I…I don’t know,” you murmured, the words barely making a sound. “I…”

You swallowed and looked away, heart hammering in your chest. It was impossible to comprehend the idea that Kai – Kai, of all people – had kissed you, and you were truly at a loss for words. There was no graceful way to extricate yourself from the situation, but before you could move, Kai took a step back.

“Well,” he said, but his voice cracked midway through; he cleared his throat. His hands released yours and adjusted his tie with short, sharp movements, and this time he said, in the same sarcastic tone he always used, “Well, if you’ll excuse me…”

Kai gave you a smirk, his emotions hidden once more, and brushed past you. You longed to call out, to stop him, but the words faltered in your mouth and then he was gone. 

"Kai," Kyungsoo said warily. "Why aren’t you at the party?"

"Because I need a drink," Kai said slowly, as if talking to a child. "I always need a drink."

"But you haven't been this drunk for a long time," Kyungsoo retorted. "What happened with Soojung? I saw the way you were looking at her."

"What way?" Kai asked innocently.

"Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you were this drunk?" Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, and continued anyway. "This was around 6 months ago, and about 2 months before you disappeared, and coincidentally, involving the same girl."

"What, Soojung?" Kai furrowed his brow.

"Yes, Soojung," Kyungsoo confirmed, a little exasperatedly. "Soojung, as in your personal assistant, Soojung, who is also the girl you're in love with."

"I am not in love with Soojung," Kai said indignantly, his denial ruined by the slight slurring of his words. "What on earth gave you that idea?"

"Get up," Kyungsoo ordered, grabbing his arm roughly. "We'll talk in the car."

Kai followed him like a lost puppy, miraculously keeping his balance as they left the bar but collapsed as soon as he reached the car seat. Kyungsoo gave him a half-hearted shove to make space, calling out for the driver to bring them home, before pulling him upright.

"Tell me what happened, Kai," Kyungsoo said firmly. "Why did you come tonight, anyway?"

"Did you not want me there?" Kai shot back, his expression unreadable in the dark. "Am I that much of an embarrassment?"

"No, you're too unpredictable," Kyungsoo said calmly. "That's not the kind of image your company wants to present to the world."

"It's always about the company," Kai murmured under his breath, finishing with a short, bitter laugh. "You want to know why I came? I came because of her."

"Because of Soojung, you mean," Kyungsoo said quietly.

"Because of Soojung," Kai repeated softly. "Well, I also wanted to prove everyone else wrong, but I knew she was organising everything for me. And I knew it was her birthday soon, and I wanted it to be a surprise, or something. A publicity stunt, which is what the company needed."

"Kai," Kyungsoo said, his tone soft and gentle. "You do know her birthday was 2 months ago."

He laughed bitterly. "This is exactly why everything is so wrong. I can't even remember her birthday. I'd make a crappy boyfriend."

"You make a terrible friend, as it is," Kyungsoo agreed. "So you do love her."

"I thought we'd already established that," Kai said humourlessly. "Yes, I came to the party for her. And then, when I saw her in that dress–" he hesitated "–she just looked so beautiful, I could hardly recognise her. But I did, because I could recognise her anywhere, and she looked amazing. And then I asked her to dance, and just - she was so close to me, but I got the sense that she didn't really want to be, you know? She doesn't like me back."

"You can't know that," Kyungsoo said comfortingly.

“I do,” Kai said harshly, “and you know how? I kissed her on the roof, and it was obvious that she thought it was just a big mistake.”

"Kai–"

"Honestly, I can't even blame her," he continued. "I'm useless, I'm unpredictable and I'm a huge . I've slept with so many women, and she knows about every single one of them; she probably knows about every single humiliating moment in my life. She should know better than anyone else that I'm not worthy of her."

"You're just going to let her go, like that?" Kyungsoo asked incredulously.

"She deserves better," Kai snapped.

"Better? No one is better than you," Kyungsoo said firmly.

Kai smiled wryly. "You're only saying that because you're my friend."

"No, I’m saying that because I'm your best friend," Kyungsoo retorted. "But I know for a fact that Kris likes her, and the only reason he hasn't made a move is because of you."

"Wait, what?"

"Kai, you didn't even talk to her," Kyungsoo reminded. "You kissed her, assumed the worst and got drunk. She doesn't know how you feel, and you don't know how she feels. The worst case scenario is rejection, in which case you'll probably just get drunk again."

"You know me too well," Kai said, a smile ghosting his lips.

"I also know you're going to have a huge hangover in the morning."

"Thank you very much, sir," you said politely. "I'll get in contact with you as soon as Mr Kim is available. Thank you."

You ended the call and yawned widely, rubbing your eyes. Certain events from a certain party had kept you awake, but at least it hadn't been too much of a hassle to postpone the meetings. It wasn't the first time you'd had to clear the morning schedule for Kai, and you knew it wouldn't be the last – girls, hangovers and sheer stubbornness were the main three excuses for Kai's absences.

Stifling a yawn, you picked your phone up and dialled a familiar number. "Kai, it's me," you said crisply. "If you're not up, get up. I'm coming over."

You hung up without waiting for an answer and called for Kai's chauffeur to pick you up. You busied yourself with your phone on the trip there, and after calling a quick "thanks" to the driver, made your way to the apartment building. It was a wealthy and luxurious estate, and Kai, being Kai, owned the penthouse. You were familiar enough with his home which, now that you thought about it, was probably a little uncommon for most personal assistants.

Your heels clicked along the floor as you made your way around the place, calling his name softly. It was too big and too empty for your taste, but there was still that sense of luxury. At last, you reached his bedroom and knocked on the door loudly.

"Kai?" you called, knocking again. "Are you awake?"

There was no answer. You knocked once more before opening the door, peering inside cautiously. Kai lay on a large bed, the blankets bunched around his waist to reveal the smooth plane of his back. You dragged your eyes away and moved to the curtains instead, flinging them aside so the sunlight would hit his face.

"I don't want to get up," Kai complained, his voiced muffled by the pillows.

"Get up," you ordered, rolling your eyes. "I'll make you some coffee."

Without waiting for an answer, you strode into the kitchen and poured some water for yourself before preparing the coffee for him. Every appliance in said kitchen was brand-new and covered with dust, since Kai didn't actually use anything there. He was too lazy, too–

You stopped and frowned, still clutching the warm mug between your hands. You were in his house, making him a cup of coffee; you had been in his bedroom and seen him half- – the truth was clear. You were too familiar with Kai, and he was too reliant on you – it could only lead to disaster.

"Coffee?" Kai emerged from his bedroom, ruffling his hair sleepily. He was still shirtless, and although you admired the sight, it wouldn't do for a working, professional relationship.

"Here," you said brusquely, shoving it into his hands.

"Someone's grumpy," Kai remarked, taking a sip. "Don't you like the view?"

"I do, but I'd also appreciate it if you could put on a shirt," you said, smiling blandly.

You turned away and rinsed your cup, wondering where your life had gone wrong. There were a lot of girls who would kill to be in your position, and here you were, purposely avoiding one of the hottest men in Korea to wash the dishes.

Clearing your throat, you picked up your tablet and leaned against the kitchen counter. "You don't have anything on this morning," you announced, scrolling through his schedule, "but I kept the meetings on for this afternoon, since it's hard to–"

You squeaked and almost dropped the tablet as you turned and bumped into Kai, clutching his shoulder to keep your balance. His hands caught your waist, sending shivers up your spine, and you could only stare up at him, surprised.

"Kai," you said, swallowing nervously. You were acutely aware of the fact that he still wasn't wearing a shirt, of how close he was to you, of how he was still gazing at you, his expression unreadable.

You said his name again, louder this time, and it seemed to break the spell – with a start, he seemed to realise how close you were and stepped away hurriedly. You did the same, placing the tablet down to hide the way your hands were shaking.              

For a moment, neither of you said anything and it reminded you of last night. "Kai, I–"

"I'm sorry," Kai blurted, the words rushing out of him. "That was...too much. I crossed the line, and I'm sorry. I just – I really like you, okay?" He blushed, running a hand through his hair again. "I'm in love with you, Soojung, and I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm not very good with girls, and I've never liked someone as much as I like you and I never meant to make you uncomfortable, I swear."

“You’re in love with me?” you repeated faintly, completely stunned.

Kai nodded, still staring at you with his dark eyes. You gaped back at him, blinking rapidly because there was no way he could be in love with you – except for the way he’d kissed you last night. “I…I don’t understand,” you stammered.

“Neither do I," Kai confessed. "It was...six months ago, when you took a few days break to visit your family, and while you were gone, I realised I missed you. It was strange, not seeing your face every day and I couldn’t concentrate on anything because I was so worried you wouldn't come back."

"I-I don't know what to say," you said, curling your hands into fists out of sheer anxiety. "I mean, you're Kai. You're pretty much perfect, and it makes sense for me to like you, but you could have any girl you want and–"

"You like me?" Kai interrupted eagerly, and you realised what you had just said. Your eyes widened and you flushed, taking a step back.

"Everyone likes you," you said defensively. "It was just a crush when I started working for you and then…"

"And then?" Kai asked softly. You pressed your lips together, not wanting to answer, only to gasp when Kai took your hands in his. "Soojung, please tell me how you feel about me."

There was an undertone of desperation in his voice that shocked you to the core. You still couldn't quite believe that Kai was in love with you – that he returned your feelings – but you didn't know what to do.

"I'll make this easier for you," Kai said, completely serious except for a tiny smile playing at the corner of his lips. "I'm going to kiss you, and we'll see how you feel after that."

And with that, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours firmly, biting gently on your lower lip before pulling back to lean his forehead against yours. He was breathing heavily, quietly, and you were so close to him you could see his pupils were dilated. “Well?”

“I like you a lot,” you said softly, reaching up tentatively to brush your trembling fingers over his skin. He closed his eyes with a faint smile and leaned into your hand, and you marvelled at the contact. “I love you, Kai.”

His answering smile was giddy with relief, and you couldn’t help but smile back. “I think you already know how I feel, but I’ll say it again,” Kai told you. “I love you, Soojung.”

This was inspired from a scene in Iron Man, when Tony dances with Pepper and the way he looks at her (it's really adorable). also they do confess their love very soon I didn't really know how to resolve it and one bit of non-consensual kissing beware things without consent also this is Kai!centric and I'm not sorry