Broken

JESSICA POV

Sometimes there are times that I hate being her bestfriend saying to myself that I don’t need her.there are times that I curse myself seeing her dating boys in every campus made my heart shrink, my heart hurt my eyes burn I don’t want her I don’t but I my heart say I Do. I open my window and stare to the dark blue sky stars are brightening and good in the eyes,  I heard tiffany and siwon is now official I burry my faced on my pillow for at least 2 days because of crying my eyes are swelling and mom and krystal notice it I made some excused and they are convince on it except krystal she  didn’t

Me and tiffany didn’t saw each other since last Monday I keep distance to her it’s for my own good it’s time for me to move on its time for me to take care of my heart its my time to be happy, I already shop yesterday I bought new clothes and sandals it’s just a simple one, I start dating too, now I have to attend school I’ve been absent two days because of tiffany I won’t let myself suffer because of her once again 

“hi” a familiar voice call me I turn around and saw tiffany wearing a pink plane t-shirt and a fitted pants I smile to her

“oh hi!” I gave her a smile, now it’s a true smile, smile from the heart friends “want to come with me?” I offer

“sure!”  she gladly accept it, we talked about our own life she keep on bugging me why I’ve been absent for two days and I keep on telling her that I catch cold but she ‘s not convince at all, we didn’t realize that we already arrive at the school because of chi chattering

I didn’t pay attention to her at all I’m busy listening to our professor I need to catch up to make my grades higher I loosen my grades because of tiffany these past few day I gave and put all of my attention to her before but now not anymore, the bell rang its already lunchtime

“Hey. Jessi let ‘s have a lunch together?” she offer me showing her eye smile that can make me melt before,

“no thanks! I’m with hara!” I apologetically smile to her, 1^st step say no to her offers, CHECKED,

“are you two dating, jessi are you into girls?” tiffany ask confusedly, I just smile

“yes I’m into girl second yeah I can say so!” I assure her suddenly she stare to me in disbelief that’s why I’m so coward to confess to her because I know that her reaction is going to be like this.

“hi babe~” hara ‘s cute voice appear, I smile and gave hara a panda hug, tiffany just stare at us “here let me carry this bags for you!” I gave the most polite smile that can I gave

“hey tiffany there ‘s siwon!” I used my lips to point siwon, tiffany turn around and looked to siwon once she saw siwon she looked to me and didn’t even smile

“jessi~” she weakly said

No don’t talked to me like that tiffany I know where just bestfriend, I already have hara tiffany don’t make me feel like this,

“tiffany we have to go! Babe lets go” I waved to tiffany, and ask hara we left tiffany there siwon is already there I know she ‘s safe and happy when she ‘s with siwon I owe siwon a lot, but before I let her go I looked to her once again, she ‘s looking at me weakly she is not smiling

“jessi~” I read her lips and she looked to me

“tiff~” I hopefully say her names but, its too late siwon hug her another heart broke, but atleast I’m happy when she ‘s happy, hara and me proceed to the cafeteria we feed each  other and made some flirty move, I saw tiffany and siwon arrived at the area they are looking for a vacant seat, but there ‘s noting luckily we sat at the four sitter table

“siwon, tiffany!” hara raise her right hands and waved to siwon and  they walked towards are seat, hara seat beside me, tiffany and I are facing each other while siwon and hara are facing each other its totally awkward between me and tiffany,

“I will order our food wait for me here!” siwon said to tiffany but tiffany didn’t care because she ‘s busy looking at the floor, I looked concernedly to her

“me too” hara suggest, tiffany looked to hara and me too, no this is wrong tiffany and I will left here and she will ask some questions once again I don’t want to feel sorry, so I stand up

“no seat here let ‘s go siwon?” siwon smile to me

“so sweet” hara stand up and kiss me at the cheeks, I looked to tiffany she looked shocked more than me then she clench her fist I don’t know why she ‘s acting like that, after that siwon and I proceed to the food counter, tiffany and hara left there

Siwon and I wait until our turn we talked for awhile to wash out the boringness of waiting

“so?” he ask me

“so? What?” I ask him, he smile to me and I puzzled

“you like her don’t you?” he blurt out I step backwards and looked to him “what are you talking about were just bestfriend!”  I denied but he looked seriously to me

“don’t hide it, I know the why you looked to her its something your so protective when it comes to her I salute you, loving her is so hard right because of those gossips!” siwon looked away, I just nodded

“yeah!” I sigh in defeat

“just continue loving her?”

“what!why?” I ask confusedly, he ‘s tiffany ‘s boyfriend and he ‘s saying those words to me is he crazy or something…..?

“I’m his boyfriend, and I’m jealous to you” he said I looked to him, giving him a seriously look

“jealous? To me? You’re kidding right?” I laugh sarcastically, and I stop when I notice that he seems serious of what he said “are you?”

“maybe I am” he breath out and looked away “she always talked about you, everyday she talked about you how you talked how you make her smile how you two bond since 8years old, what ‘s you favorite colors everything about you sica!” he explain, and looked away I felt like I’m snatching tiffany

“I’m sorry” I sincerely talked to him he just smile “its okay!”

We walked together after we order our foods we saw tiffany and hara talking to each other I cant help to smile when I saw her happily talking to hara at least they are in good condition. After we arrive we start to eat our food hara is so clingy after all she keep on feeding me and wiping my sweat, just gave a smile to her, I looked to tiffany when I looked to her I caught her staring at me but when I stare back she quickly looked away, siwon notice us he looked to tiffany and gave him a worried smile

“I need to go!” siwon stand up “where are you going?” I ask siwon he get her bag and looked to tiffany

“basketball practice! Tiffany I need to go see you later” siwon kissed tiffany s’ cheeks, seeing her kissed by siwon broke my entire soul but I need to be strong to forget my feelings to tiffany,

“wait siwon I need to go to the washroom wait for me!” hara chase siwon, me and tiffany left at the table its completely dead silent so I decide to brake it

“tiffany are you okay?” I worriedly ask

“I’m fine!”  she stare to me she said, she looked okay but the way she act I know she’s definitely not okay, so I make her to looked at me but she slap my hands away

“tiffany why are you acting so weird?” I ask her, her faced looked like in a verge of crying but I know she ‘s holding it is it because of siwon “tiffany tell me, those you and siwon fought?” I think, her eyes give up, tears starting to roll down completely

“jessica are you happy with her?” tiffany suddenly ask, i’m so shocked so what if I’m happy with her, why is she acting so strange, why does she keep on making effect on me seriously why?

“jessica answer me?” she ask me more weakly than before, My heart ache seeing her crying, tiffany sorry but I need to say this

“jessi~ please say no!” she blurt out and sob more I looked away “jessi?”

“YES! Tiffany I’m happy with her!” I finally spoke, I don’t know I’m broken I’m mess I still love you but loving you is so wrong? Do you love me tiffany?do you ever love me?please don’t

She stand up and wipe her tears she run away until I cant see her, I touch my faced its wet, I’m crying once again and its because of her, I faced palm myself tiffany I still love you…

Knowing you