so her s' chapter one, sorry if its too short ^^ this is my firstt fanfic so

i hope you all enjoy!! bare with my grammar hehehe..^^ dont forget to comment and subscribe :">>>

what does truly love means for you?

____________________________________________

My name is jessica jung, sooyeon to be called in Korean I have a best friend and I’m in love with her, others call her fany, she is also known as tiffany hwang, do you find me weird?. falling in love with same gender is a big sin right but in America its legal they can walked holding hands do lovey dovey every were, nobody don’t mind what’s in  their thoughts

Why do I keep on discussing this topic, I don’t know if she feel the same by the way she don’t know I have a different feelings towards here it’s more like more than friends thing, I know she want boys sometimes I’m getting irritate when she talks about boys, her boys crushes with a 6packs look like model the way those man wear a clothes I’m getting annoy to be honest, but  I can’t get mad at her you know why do you? I love her at first I try to convince my self that I don’t like her but the more I hide it the more it shows and to be truth to you, if only I could run away hide my face and sometimes kill my self yeah! You heard it right do you know the feeling of one sided love it , you cant simply spill what your feeling because your scared what if someone know the truth that your in love and the worst thing is same as your gender  some people said that its wrong, but is it wrong to fall in love if only I can control my feelings if only I could..

Now I’m here seating on their couch watching everyone busy to their own works Ms. Hwang preparing cookies for us, Mr. hwang is out I thinks his on the middle of meeting on his job as a manager, and leo busy sketching something on the table while Michelle talking with someone on the phone and finally tiffany watching a drama, staring to her is my hobby bonding with her is my passion, loving me back is my hope and to be with her forever is my dream, dream that I think won’t be!

“jessi your staring at me again” she said cutely and pout to be, I love seeing her pouting it made me giggle for some sweet reasons, I just smile to her and turn my gaze back to the tv

We are now twenty-two years old, mature thinker we been best friend since were seven years old , yeah pretty long and we want to add more years spending time together, it all start when I turn fifteen

Fifteen

I start to think what love really means, all I knew is if the person is important to you, you can say I love you to them but there’s’ more behind those love thing a romantic once, saying those three magical words to the only person who you really want to spend your life with, love is a powerful word saying those words to every person can hurt them or can made them happy, but for me tiffany is the only person I can say I love you,

Fifteen

~Flashback~

It’s a night were students of Sm are gathering for some important party its kinda ball students are wearing a night gown, but bad news I’m not included so I just stay at the house and wait for her, yeah tiffany is invited I didn’t even saw her wearing a gown wearing make-up seeing her beautiful eye smile but all I can do is to wait,

“jessica I need to go by honey” dad gave a peek on my forehead, I just smile back to him, dad is leaving just for a few days because of her meeting abroad, while mom is busy doing something on her office in the middle of the night, I understand that they have to work because its all because of us, but atleast  we wish we all can bond together as a happy family, krystal is always gone, staying at her friends or classmates home.

I glance to her home, its empty only me and this precious tv of ours, dad,mom and krystal is gone, so bored I want something to eat but unfortunately I don’t know how to cook, so I open lazy our refrigerator, I jump because of happiness because I saw some sandwich, I quickly grab it and took a large bite,

Yum~ yum~

I happily munch it and my stomach gladly accept it, enjoying my food so much, so I grab fresh milk at the refrigerator and walked back to the living room, while enjoying my food trip I glance to the wall clock its already 12:00 midnight and I’m still awake by this time I’m sleeping but why im still awake? I ask my self because of boringness surrounds me,

I think the ball already started

At least a while ago, imagining tiffany dancing with boys it made me turn red not in sweet reason because of irritation I guess, I’m wearing a skinny jeans and a pink sleeves I went to Sunny s’ café I visit her she s’ a friend of mine, precious friend of mine

DingDong~ DingDong~

Oh someone is doorbelling I stand up lazy im so tired and god its 12 midnight who would it be who every she or he was she s’ dead, I said to my self, I open the door and ready to scold the one whole doorbell but my jaw drop in stunned

Tiffany is standing infront of our door, wearing a pink night gown with some flower decorations on it she look like a goddess, a living goddess

“jessi” she said in a weak tone, when I heard her spoke, I realize I quickly close my mouth and stand properly, her eyes look sad and teary something happen

“tiffany are you okay?” I concernedly ask her I walk closely to her and help her to stand up, but she don’t want to come in, in our house so I we just sit at the bench placed in front of our house surrounds with greenly grass on it, we sit down there its totally awkward a dead silence fluster on us, me making my self-looked busy but tiffany just staring at her fingers while her fingers playfully moving, so I decide to looked at the sky to re-freshen my self

“is there s’ something wrong?” I ask tiffany still looking at the dark sky with some bright stars on it

“mmmmmmmmm” she looked like humming

“mind to share?” I ask her softly, she looked at me and said “im fine jessi” I love hearing jessi from her its her nickname for me first time she say those words is when we are 8 years old, and im happy to hear it again even though I heard it almost every day.

“sure” I ask her to assure, and she just nod and smile to me letting me see her beautiful eye smile again made my heart pound

“I will just get some food for u-“ she cut me, help me to stand up we are facing each other while standing seeing her face nearer

Thug-thug-thug

Its that my hear its beating fast, fast as if she s’ a racer or something, she looked beautiful as always gorgeous as everyday

She place her both arms in my shoulder and she command me to put my hands on her waist, I don’t know what comes to me but I follow her at first I don’t want to do it but she glare to me so I don’t have any choice,

My phone start to ring and play a ringtone

FALL FOR YOU by, second serenade  http://www.jango.com/music/Secondhand+Serenade?l=0

The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Oh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

This is my favorite song so I used this song to be my ringtone, I wish this ringtone wont stop, I should say thanks to the one whose calling me I owe her/him. I close my eyes and enjoying our dance, Im proud because she is my first dance and this is my first dance J

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind! 

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
 

While the song or should I say my ringtone start to play my feet and hers start to move in sync, we are dancing like a prom queen and kings, dancing in the middle of the night under the moonlight enjoying the music don’t mind because peoples are probably on the dream land right now, moon is like a spotlight that focus on us while stars are the supporting lights for us

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

After the song our foreheads touch and nose too, I want to savor this moments if this is a dream don’t wake me up….the girl like her is impossible to find, and to be honest tonight is the night that I fall for you….tiff

“you’re the best, bestfriend jessi thank you!!” she start to talk again I close my eyes but when I heard the bestfriend word I open my eyes slowly and smile

I know behind those smile there s’ pain inside of it behind those fake smile theirs me hoping to you to be my more than bestfriend….to be loved by you

“yeah what s’ are friends are for” I lied once  again, I choose to lie than to ruin or friendship

If your on my situation right now, would you tell the truth and say what you truly feel or  lie and tell what s’ your friends are for?, just to save your best friends relationship?

I’ll be there for you even though I really want you…us to be more than that! Because that s’ love means if you truly love someone learn to sacrifice everything ,Even your feelings,  be a good person wise lover and faithful best friend ….. because love is the weirdest thing that happen to all of us!

TBC.............