Daehyun awakes with a violent jolt. After a short pause, he lets out a long sigh of mixed emotions and slowly sits up on the worn-out couch, which is also decorated with gaudy designs. He wonders How long has it been since the weather was like this? Then he quickly recognizes the lightning and thunder as his old friends from a year ago.

And he remembers.

He remembers that he left exactly one year ago. But he doesn’t remember it like a memory. He remembers it like a dream. He remembers it like a nightmare.

Daehyun refuses to believe he was the one who left. It wasn’t him. He was so sure it wasn’t him. Yet he watched himself leave. Every day the nightmare replays in his mind; he sees himself throw his ring at the ground again and again, and he hears Youngjae’s “get out” repeat like a broken record. If only it was just a nightmare, he often thinks to himself. But the fear was real and the pain was real, and he finally accepted reality for what it was—cold, harsh, and unforgiving.

The idea of returning to Youngjae crossed his mind many times. Daehyun wanted nothing more than that. But he was afraid to go back. He was afraid that he would hurt him again. He was afraid Youngjae would no longer forgive him.

Could Youngjae possibly forgive him again? Daehyun knows he has already forgiven him a thousand times and more. He would always comfort him with It’s okay’s and It’s not your fault’s. But in the end, Youngjae is only human. And after some time, his patience wore thin, and his forgiveness came in the form of a tolerant silence.

Daehyun knows Youngjae was hurt by his promise of eternal love. It pains him so much to know that he’s the one at fault. And it pains him even more to know that he couldn’t be the strong one. Youngjae deserves better.

There is not a single day in which Youngjae did not cross his mind, and Daehyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking of him every minute, every second. Did he sleep well last night? What did he eat for breakfast? Would he still have their old photographs? Has he moved on? Is he happy? Does he think of him every day too? Does he even remember him?

Daehyun feels his heart grow heavy at the thought of being forgotten by the one person he loved—and still loves—the most. He thinks of all the precious memories they made together and hopes that Youngjae still remembers him.

But Daehyun suddenly thinks of all the times he’s hurt him, and his mind is flooded with images of Youngjae’s frightened face, his forlorn face, his tear-stained face. He holds his head in agony and clenches his teeth tightly, trying desperately to escape from the hallucination before it consumes him. After a few moments of lonely silence and fighting for control, he releases his head from his hands and gently rests his back against the broken couch. Daehyun closes his eyes and breathes heavily to regain the breaths he lost in his own madness.

He doesn’t want Youngjae to remember him anymore.

“If you are sad, please forget me.”