Kim and Gerald exited discreetly out the back of the house and walked through the gardens toward the small salakot that Kim’s dad and brothers built for fun one summer. They sat down and were amazed that the noise from the house seemed like a million miles away. There was a gentle breeze tossing Kim’s hair gently, bringing the wonderful smell of Philippines to their nostrils. The salakot was graced by a mango tree they planted when they were children, offering them shade and a sweet smell in the air.

Gerald: Man… (taking a deep breath)  I missed this smell.

Kim: Doesn’t it feel good to be home?

Gerald: It sure does.  I don’t know what it is but the moment you smell … I don’t even know how to describe it – burned trash, smoke, mangos, plumerias… I don’t know.  I guess it’s just a combo of a lot of things. 

Kim: I know what you mean.  I don’t regret immigrating to the U.S. to go to school and making my life there but this will always be home.   (pausing) You know…

Gerald: Kimmy…

Kim: Ge…  you first.

Gerald put down his plate of food and took Kim’s plate from her as well. He then pulled Kim to sit closer to him.

Gerald: (turning toward her, gently placing her hand in his) Ladies first?

Kim: (smiling up at him) No, I insist.

Gerald:  Thank you my lady. (chuckling softly)  I’ve missed you.  (looking deeply into her eyes)

Kim: (smirking at him) I’ve missed you too.  (immersed in his gaze)

Gerald:  How have you been? (not really asking the question he wanted to ask)

Kim:  I’ve been okay. How about you?

Gerald: (tilting her chin, forcing Kim to look at him)  Kimmy. Seriously, how are you? It’s me you are talking to.

Silence followed.  Gerald allowed the silence to envelope them, giving Kim the time she needed to draw out her words to express herself.

Kim:  (with tears b in her eyes)  You know that Lolo Boy was asking for me.  He wanted to see me. I tried so hard to make it home in time. I should have been on a plane the day they called. But I decided to go shopping. One more day. One more day I told myself and I’ll be headed home to see him and the rest of the family. Just one day to get things together.  But he slipped away.

Gerald:  Kimmy. (pulling her into his arms)  You wouldn’t have been able to just jump on a plane. You know how much preparation it takes to fly home.

Kim: I could have just jumped on the plane that night but I wanted to get them all gifts and buy some supplies for the house before I came home. I didn’t want to come home empty-handed.  They told me he wasn’t doing well and that I should come home right away but I didn’t get on a plane that night. I should have packed my bags right away.  (sobbing through her words) I wanted to buy Lolo Boy a pair of Nike shoes he wanted and an iPod so that we could download music for him to listen to.  Ge, I didn’t get home in time. He died while I was crossing the ocean. I knew it too. I just knew it. I was dreaming about him and then I woke up right when they were about to serve dinner.

Gerald: ( her hair)  What did you dream about?

Kim: I dreamt about the two of us when Lolo Boy used to take me on his bicycle and bring me to the market.  He was telling me to hold on tight and not to let go of the handlebars. It was always just the two of us.  He would always buy me a buko ice candy as a treat. It was our time together.  We were both smiling.

Gerald: What a beautiful dream Kimmy.

Kim: You know… it was. I have been wondering if it was his way of saying goodbye.

Gerald: It might have been.  And I bet you it is one of your best memories with him.

Kim: You are right. I use to love that time that it was just the two of us. I can still picture every single detail:  the blue bicycle with a bell that I use to play with all the time, his leathery hands over the handlebars, the songs he would whistle as he pedaled. Even though he didn’t live in the province anymore, you couldn’t take the farmer in him away from him. But Ge… I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. (sobbing even harder)

Gerald: (pulling her closer to him)  Kimmy… You don’t have to say goodbye.

Kim: (looking at him questioningly) huh?

Gerald: Don’t you think you’ll always have him with you? (pointing to her heart)  He’ll always be there. (pointing to her head) And your memories together will feed you when you need him.

Kim: That was beautiful Ge.  Thank you.

Gerald: I don’t know. I would like to think that despite all the pain, and it does hurt that he is gone, he will always be there for us. I loved him too Kimmy. 

Kim: I know you do Ge. You were his favorite. I’m sorry you came home to this.

Gerald: I am too but I’m appreciative that I can celebrate his life with you. More importantly, I am glad that I am here for you… to be here for you if you need me.  (silence) Did you still give him the shoes?

Kim: You are so funny. You and your love affair with Nike.  It’s because of you that Lolo Boy was so obsessed with Nike. 

Gerald: (smiling)  He never missed any of my games when I was young. He would admire my shoes so I bought him his first pair of Nike shoes for his birthday. He was so surprised. He loved wearing those shoes.   I guess I can picture him wearing his kicks though we can’t see his feet. I actually brought him another pair too.

Kim:  You are so right. They are the shoes on his feet right now.

Gerald: I’m sure he loved your gift.

Silence

Kim: And I’m sure he would have loved your gift for him too. (silence)  Ge… thank you.

Gerald:  For what?

Kim: For being here when I needed you. It was perfect timing. I needed you here. I just didn’t know it.

Gerald: I’ll always be here for you whether you know if you needed me or not … ( the side of her face) And I’m glad I’m here too.  I’d like to think that Lolo Boy planned this in some sort of way.

Kim: Sweet. Thank you Ge.

Comfortable silence…

Gerald: I guess it’s time for THE talk.

Kim: What is the ‘THE’ talk?

Gerald: What happened with us Kimmy?

Kim: (sat quietly)  You don’t know?

Gerald: What do you mean ‘I don’t know’? I’m confused why all of a sudden you were distant then you left without our normal warm fuzzy goodbye and then you never returned my calls, my emails, texts.

Kim: Let’s not talk about it right now.

Gerald:  Okay. I’ll wait when you are ready but Kimmy, we need to talk. It’s been 2 years.

Kim: All I can say is that I promise it will never happen again.

Gerald: You need to let me know because I promise to make sure it will never happen again. I missed you Kimmy. (squeezing her hard against him)

Kim fit perfectly in his arms. She could not help but shed a few more tears.  She lost her Lolo Boy but she was very happy to have her best friend back.