“And then this chick comes up to me, and you know what she does?! She dumps WATER on me. Riiiiight in the face! I was freezing by the time I got home! I kept getting mocked by people the whole way! And that little didn’t even warn me!” Sungjong smacked yet another glass of soju down on the table. To say he was a ‘mess’ would be too far of an understatement – he was already drunk this morning, and drinking the next night didn’t go well at all. Only his high alcohol tolerance saved him from a severe hangover.

 “Yeah, yeah. Make sure to include me in your will when you die of a little cold.” Said an older, more relaxed young man with little concern, “Just let it go already and quit drinking.” He continued to lazily rock back and forth on a chair by placing one foot on the edge of the table; his head was dramatically tossed back and covered with a newspaper, and his arms were folded on his stomach.

By the looks of it he just didn’t care.

“I can’t. I hurt Namjoo. I said bad stuff to her.” Suddenly remembering, Sungjong began banging his head on the table “Woohyun, she was crying. CRYING! I should have believed her goddamit…And why the hell did you tell me she was cheating on me?!”

 “Did I say that? I said I saw her partying with a bunch of friends, over half of which just happened to be guys, and that’s that. I work at that Karaoke place, so what exactly do you want from me?” said Woohyun and began blowing at the newspaper, attempting to get it off his face without using hands.

SungJong continued, “Everything would be fine if we just talked it over…It would’ve eventually been fine and over with if that next-door bucket woman didn’t interrupt us!!”

“Who cares? Just talk it over with Namjoo tomorrow.” Woohyun glanced at Sungjong and his condition, then added “Actually, it’d be better if you went the day after tomorrow…”

“That’s the thing, I can’t! It’s over! She texted,” Sungjong flipped open his phone and presented it in front of Woohyun.

“'I’m sorry…but I can’t do this anymore. I realized this after our meeting today. I’m sorry.' And you know what I think? My Namjoo got those thoughts from the bucket woman! They seemed to know each other!”

“So what if they know each other?” another voice said, and Sungjong turned his head.

He didn’t expect him to speak at all today.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Woohyun and Sungjong weren’t alone at the table.

Myungsoo also sat there for the past 2 hours patiently trying to build a pyramid out of toothpicks. His record was four, before Woohyun accidently kicked the table and ruined his masterpiece. Then Myungsoo realized the table was too uneven and wobbly; he tried every object he could possibly find to stabilize it, but since only Woohyun’s foot would work and Woohyun objected, Myungsoo had to give up his hopes and dreams on becoming the Master of Toothpick Pyramid-ing. Instead, he turned to drawing a detailed map of South Korea on his plate using hot sauce; that didn’t work out either, since he couldn’t draw or remember the geography of his own country. After folding every napkin into a different origami animal, he moved onto trying to repeat a trick he saw on youtube and make the salt-shaker stand tilted using single salt grains for support.

This whole time he paid attention to Sungjong’s complaints but didn’t find the energy to talk. Girls weren’t really part of his daily thought process, even if he did have plenty of daily experience with them. Salt-shakers and hot sauce maps were just more interesting! However, now that Myungsoo ran out of creative ideas to entertain himself, he was forced to join the conversation.

Sungjong sneered “‘So what’, you say? Oh c’mon, anyone having connections to such a shrew can’t go on without being messed with. And they just “happened” to be neighbors. My !”

“Well what do you want?” Myungsoo glanced at his watch “look, I really need to head home and get some sleep. Let’s finish this up.”

“Aaaand I agree with you good sir! We should all go.” Woohyun suddenly stopped rocking on the chair and came back down with his hands in a weird pose and a grin on his face. “Especially you, Sungjong – you’re a mess these days.”

Sungjong hung his head in his arms for a while in thought. “What do I want? What do I want…” Good question. But there must be a solution to everything! He looked at his friends – both handsome bastards without a care in the world for women. No problems with women, no drama with women, no  complicated attachments with...Women…

Sungjong’s face lit up with an idea, “I know! One of you needs to take revenge on her. Hit on her, make her fall head-over-heels for you, use her, and dump her. Easy!”

There was a long pause after he said it. Myungsoo and Woohyun eyed each other. Sungjong was never like this before. He had his temper, but wanting legitimate revenge on a random person was out of the boundaries of his personality. They were stupid to think his break up with Namjoo would end the same as all others, and now they were paying the price by having to dance around his little idea.

“Ahh…how do I say this Sungjong…” Woohyun began, “your lovey-dovey revenge storyline was already claimed in some movie. They might file you for plagiarism.” Myungsoo wanted to glare at him, but since when does Woohyun take anything seriously? 

“Anyways, I’m out. Good luck finding a fake prince charming for your bucket woman~” Woohyun grabbed his jacket and opened the bar door “Oh, and I’m not doing it. I’m willing to help with the rest, but I already have my hands full!~” He cheerfully waved and disappeared into the night.

The remaining two were overwhelmed by awkward silence. 

Myungsoo swallowed. He knew where this was going. “Sungjong…”

Sungjong leaped up with a spark in his eyes “You’ll do it, right? Please! I’ll make it so easy for you that the only thing you’ll need to do is just sit there and watch her drool over you!”

Myungsoo wanted to object so, so much, but after seeing Sungjong slowly return to his usual self through the idea, Myungsoo just didn’t have the heart to say no. And besides, he didn't have a legitimate excuse to reject him.

“Fine. You do owe me one though.”

“Of course, I always, always keep my word, you know me!” Myungsoo smiled as he watched his childhood firned cheer up.

He finally looks his age. Before you could’ve mistaken him for a 30 year old bank employee who was laid off work or something. Myungsoo shook his head. Friends are friends for a reason.

“Don’t walk home. Grab a taxi.” Myungsoo instructed. Sungjong nodded vigorously.

Myungsoo then grabbed his stuff and left the light of the bar for the dark night life outside.