The Orange Horizon
The Spinster's Curse
Sandara glanced at her mother as she dropped herself on a nearby wooden chair, looking drained and exhausted. The woman had her eyes closed, with her fingers squeezing her temples. Sandara did not say a word. Instead, she went to her previous spot and sat down. She grabbed the wood and tool and went back to what she was working on.
As Sandara seemed undisturbed with what just happened, it was quite the contrary to her adopted mother. Her thoughts were chaotic. From the very beginning, she knew what would happen to her adopted daughter once their revered Mother returns. It did not bother her before, not event he least. As a matter of fact, she was thrilled, impatient and anxious for that day to come. The first time she set eyes on Sandara and saw her blank face and emotionless eyes, she saw her simply as. . . a vessel, an instrument for their Mother’s return. She could still remember that day quite vividly.
She could remember how they crept into the house in the middle of the night. The men in their brotherhood killed the adults living in the house. As they turned, they saw Sandara lurking about the door, staring at them curiously. The girl must have heard them entered. But she did not cry. She just blinked at her parents’ dead body. They told her that she will be going with and to everyone’s disbelief, she just nodded.
Sandara is actually the last descendant of the young man who had caused the death of their revered Mother long time ago. Most of them were actually tempted to take the child’s life themselves, believing that their Mother would be then find peace and revenge she had long craved for. But no, they refrained themselves for they were ordered by their leader not to harm the child. They were not sure why of all the people their Mother chose Sandara. It was, and still is, a mystery. But they hoped that upon their Mother’s return, all questions shall be answered.
Everyone in their circle watched her grew but slowly, thought quite not certain, a tinge of understanding came to them. When Sandara became a lady, her beauty shone like a beacon in the darkest of nights and brightest of days. It was unearthly, almost goddess-like. Her beauty would be perfect to get back at the vicious women downtown. And the men shall be punished too, for being greedy of physical appearance. Men, they prefer beauty more than anything else while women would stop at nothing to take down a threat of competition.
Vanity – it seemed to be a simple word that carries too many mishaps.
A sense of unsettlement came over her again. More than anyone else, she had watch Sandara grow. She got used to the idea of the girl being her daughter although for a few years, she had only seen and treated her as an instrument. As a matter of fact, none of the women or men in the brotherhood is married; none of them had a share or had experienced what it was like to be in a romantic relationship. It was forbidden, moreover, it was dedication as to their Mother was also a spinster by choice. All of the young adults in the brotherhood were adopted, just like Sandara. She never pause for a moment to know how or what she feels for her adopted daughter partly because she believed the girl was not capable of FEELING anything, much more accept similar feelings directed to her. But lately, she’s been having some. . . unwanted thoughts and feelings.
It probably began that day, when the girl went to town in an attempt to buy meat, though she could not see how a piece of meat would make her well of an illness she knew nothing of. That day, however, Sandara proved that she was capable of feeling something. The girl showed she was capable of feeling worried over her health status. The worry wasn’t seen in the girl’s face but her action did. The girl would not dare go to town and attempted to get a piece of meat if she wasn’t worried about her. The day when she caught the girl humming; the time when she asked about her real parents added up to the proof that the girl can feel. She admits she was rather jealous of this Jiyong boy for unleashing this side of Sandara. But after the confrontation a while ago, after the girl protested of not wanting to leave her behind, a sense of pleasure swelled inside her chest that she feared she was going to explode from it. It was then that she realized and accepted that she came to care and love Sandara. Now, that is a complication she had not foreseen.
She shook her head. No, her loyalty and faith should not waver. She should keep in mind that she had cooperated and worked hard to prepare for their Mother’s return. Now is not the time to have second thoughts. But. . . .
Sandara worked tirelessly. She only stopped to glance outside the window. Seeing the sun only two hours from setting down, she stood up and went to the kitchen. She silently prepared their meal for supper. She was expecting to hear some reprimanding words from her adopted mother in a while. Although it wasn’t the kind of scene she wanted to share with her as it can be their last supper together. She could still visit her, she supposed. She blinked and wondered why their Mother would want her to leave the cottage and move into a new shelter. There were still a lot of mysteries and unanswered questions regarding their revered Mother. What was her name? What did the people say or do to make her suffer so? More importantly, what was she?
She inhaled and exhaled slowly as she brought her attention back to what she was cooking. After it was done, she went to set the table. With silent footsteps, she informed her mother that their food was ready.
Supper was as usual, silent. It was nothing new to the both of them. But Sandara noticed that there was something different to her mother’s silence. The woman also looked like she was in deep thought. Sandara did not bother asking what’s troubling the other. Instead, she thought of going to Jiyong later in the night to tell him to leave at once tomorrow. It was confusing for her but she felt like it was the right thing to do.
She never had anyone to talk to aside from her mother. Jiyong would be the first one outside from the brotherhood. She finds him amusing and carefree – traits she never saw in any of her companions. There were also things she learned from him and the thing was, she wanted more. She has never been this thirsty to gain knowledge of things she knew nothing of. Even the simple things amaze her. But she had to make him leave. She was aware of his stubbornness, of course. She could only wish that he would somehow listen to her.
The night descended deeper. Sandara’s eyes flew open. As silent as a gentle breeze, she pushed herself and slipped her slippers on. She held her breath for a moment when the battered door creaked open. She released it slowly upon hearing the continuous snores of her mother. When she finally felt the cold night air, she quickly turned around and sprinted down the hill.
Upon reaching the house where Jiyong lives, she paused for a moment to catch her breath. He was not waiting for her in his doorstep as he usually does but the lights inside the house were open. She walked up to the path and knocked on his door. She waited for a few seconds before her knock was answered. A smile instantly lit his face as soon as he saw her.
“I’ve been waiting for you” he said then stepped aside to let her in.
“I won’t be long” she informed him, showing no signs of moving from his doorstep. “I came to tell you that you must leave even before the sun rises tomorrow”
His smile was quickly replaced by a frown. “May I ask why?”
Sandara was quiet for a moment, wondering whether to tell him the truth or not. But then, her lies could be counted not more than five. She was not used in lying so she chose the truth in the end. “It is not safe for you to stay here anymore”
He straightened up. “And why is that?”
“You said you’ll heed whatever I tell you”
“Well, maybe I changed my mind” he stubbornly said.
“You cannot change your mind!”
She was angry, that was pretty obvious. But instead of being bothered, he found himself smiling. For the short period of time he was with her, her lack of feeling any type of emotions irked him. And seeing the spark of anger in her eyes amused him. It made her looked so alive, especially her eyes. It also brought a different look to her beautiful face. Call it vanity, but he somehow could not help but think how he seemed to be the cause of such change in her behavior. “I suggest you come inside first” he said. “It’ll be warmer here”
“I cannot stay that long” she said. “I want you to leave tomorrow”
“Come inside first” he insisted. When Sandara just blinked at him, he reached out for her hand, gave it a squeeze then pulled her inside with him. He inwardly smiled when she made no protests or whatsoever. With a satisfied look on his face, he closed the door and turned off the lights. If he expected the girl to jump in surprise or squeak, he was in for a disappointment. Sandara just stood motionless on her spot, it was as if she did not find anything peculiar with the lights off.
“What is that dim light over there?” she asked.
“A surprise” Jiyong answered. “Come”
He ked her to the dining area where a candle lit table awaits them. There were also a few plates of foods she had not seen before she tilted her head to the side then blinked. “Have you not eaten your supper yet?” she asked.
“I already did” he answered. “But this is different. I want you to share a simple meal with me”
“But I already ate” she said, totally confused as to why he would want her to share a meal with her when they both had their fill of supper already. Wouldn’t that be a waste of food? And he called it simple. As far as she could understand, she could not find anything simple in the table in front of her. She frowned as something sweet and relaxing filled her nostrils. “What is that smell?” she asked.
“Scented candles”
“They smell nice” she said.
“I know they do” he chuckled. “Now, come”
Sandara did not say anything as he maneuvered her to one of the chairs on the table. She sat quietly. Jiyong smiled at this and rounded about the table to take his place in the chair across her. Despite her confusion, Sandara just went along with sharing a meal with him. She watched his face in fascination as he talked about his friends and how they spend their time. He also described places her went to and he dreamed of going to. “Enough about me” he said. “What about you? Where do you want to go?”
Sandara blinked. “I find no reason to leave my home”
“I mean, what places would you want to visit?”
She was silent for a moment. “I do not know any place aside from this town. But the place where you came from would be interesting to see”
Jiyong eyed her in a peculiar way. “Would you want to go with me? For some reasons she could not quite understand, her eyes widened. Would she want to go with him when he goes home? Even if she wanted to, she knew it was impossible.
“No” she answered.
He leaned back on his chair, his eyes searching her face. “Why not?”
“I cannot leave my mother behind”
“We can take her with us” he countered.
“I. . . I cannot leave. We cannot leave. We are bound to this town”
Jiyong’s curiosity perked. “What do you mean?”
“You would not understand” she said, shaking her head as she placed her eating utensils down. “And it would be better if you knew nothing of it”
“Why?”
Sandara shook her head again and stood up. “You must leave as soon as you can. I would not want you harmed in any way”
“Why would I be harmed?” he questioned, getting to his feet as well. “And from whom?”
Sandara did not say anything.
“Is your mother angry with me? I can talk to her if you want. I can tell her that I-”
“Must you be so stubborn?”
“I NEED to know why you’re so eager of making me leave” he impatiently burst out, taking his fingers through his hair. “You always talk mysteriously and it’s annoying me. You. . . you are not engaged, are you?”
“Engaged?” she repeated blankly.
“Are you about to be married to anyone?” he asked in an irritated tone.
“No” she simply answered.
“You like me, do you not?”
“Yes” she answered without hesitation.
Despite himself, he smiled. “I like you, too”
“You still need to leave”
Jiyong exhaled tiredly. “Why? I need to know why?!”
“You’ll only be harmed if you remain here! I do not want that. You are my first friend outside the brotherhood that is why I am trying to help you”
“Brotherhood?” he asked. “What brotherhood?”
Her face went blank. “You must leave as soon as you can. Heed my warning and you shall be safe, heed it not and you shall be harmed. Farewell, Kwon Ji-”
“Hold up” he interrupted. “You could possibly not mean that word”
“I mean every word I say” she solemnly said.
“I thought we ARE friends” he breathed. “Friends are not to keep secrets from each other”
“You have not told me everything about yourself” she blankly returned. “I gave you a warning as it is. I won’t be held responsible for any mishap that shall fall upon you due to your stubbornness”
“I am not a man who can be easily swayed” he warned her.
“You merely are a child, just like I am” she said. “Now if you may, I must leave”
Sandara started heading towards the door, not for a second fumbling even through the darkness. As she neared the door, Jiyong’s words stopped her. He said, “I shall seek the reason why you desperately wanted me to leave”
She whirled around so sharply, her wild bushy hair flying around her that it looked as if it was floating. Jiyong stared in bewilderment. For a second or two, he was certain Sandara looked angry. But as he looked closer, there was something foreign yet familiar in the way she held her chin up and the way her lips quirked knowingly. A frown marred his forehead.
“Must you be so stubborn?” she asked. It was the same question she asked of him a while back. But he did not pay heed to it. He was still absorbed at the way her face seemed different. His frown deepened, digging his memories for something he could relate to her face.
And then it dawned on him, as if in a dream, reaching towards his mind and imprisoning his body. His face then cleared as he finally saw it – the shadow of Kim Yoojin’s face on Sandara’s face. A while ago, he was certain Sandara looked angry but now, it was as if he was looking at Yoojin’s gloating face.
And that did not make sense at all.
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