Loosing control over your own mind just once can ruin everything you have built from scratch.

Again, after a long, long time, WooHyun could say that he was happy and give his approval of the sappy and already worn out saying that money doesn’t bring happiness, as he knew it now better than anyone else.

What he had gained and regained after he had ‘found’ SungGyu had never been on top of the pyramid of needs he had before (as it mostly consisted of money, power and recognition), but now all he needed and wanted – his friends, who he had regained and someone he treasured more than anyone before – was the basic of what he needed and he was pretty sure he couldn’t be any happier.

Hoya and DongWoo stopped by almost every day, not always staying till closing, but long enough to chat a bit as if nothing had changed between them, as if they didn’t have that small tinge of hatred buried somewhere deep inside of their hearts and hidden behind those bright smiles. WooHyun knew about it, but just like they, he decided to not bring it up.

SungJong as well soon started to appear in the diner, bringing his school friends along, which gave more work, but also more profit and , of course, the latent feeling of old times, all though it was so much different form everything before.

And when it came to SungGyu…

WooHyun could swear he had never been kissed so much in his entire life like he had in the past two weeks since that fateful night in the living room.

None of the kisses were forced, or awkward, or unwanted by either of of them. They varied from sweet and cute to deep and passionate, always coming in the right time and suiting the moment the best. Spare to say that WooHyun loved it and moments he couldn’t even understand how he could live without SungGyu’s lips brushing over his cheek while he washed the dishes, or those slight kisses SungGyu ‘stole’ when ever WooHyun was close enough, not to mention the deep, passionate ones they shared every evening (WooHyun would have preferred something more, than just kisses before they went to sleep to their separated rooms, but for now kisses were enough).

The red-hair (whose hair color was already starting to fade away in more ginger-like color, still keeping its red traits though) acted shy, a bit distant and suspicious, and showed his born in authority, only when Hoya, DongWoo and/or SungJong was around, which had a good explanation to WooHyun’s mind.
Jealousy.

By his nature WooHyun was a touchy person, just that certain things had set him back from being like that, and now when he spent time with his ‘old’ friends, it was just natural to hug them or to take their hands or anything of that sort. Not to mention that DongWoo was even touchier and he was almost trying to gain back the missed skinship while WooHyun ‘was lost’, obviously pissing SungGyu off.

At first his jealousy was not that noticeable, but at the third night all three of WooHyun’s friends had decided to stay after closing and DongWoo quite naturally decided to sit in WooHyun’s lap, it looked that SungGyu will explode.

“SungGyu-hyung, are you feeling okay?” SungJong leaned over the table to look closer at SungGyu, whose eyes were menacingly narrow and pointed to DongWoo and WooHyun.

“Yes.” he said turning to the youngest of the group, his voice filled with obvious tension. “Why are you asking?” he continued, glancing back at the other two he was observing before.

“I… was just wondering. You seem tensed.” SungJong said leaning back in his seat.

“I’m perfectly fine.” SungGyu said, sounding as if he tried to tell that to himself not to others around the table.

He had been tensed from the very moment the trio came trough the door in late afternoon and almost avoided WooHyun, which was more than just odd.

“Maybe we should end it tonight?” WooHyun said, pushing DongWoo out of his lap, to which the later obeyed and stood up after WooHyun’s first try.

“That sounds like a good idea.” SungGyu said and stood up from the table. “Goodnight.” He said sparing a glance at everyone at the table and left straight to the kitchen and obviously upstairs, as the creaking of the steps was well heard around the empty diner.

“At least now we know how much he likes you.” Hoya said standing up from his seat and SungJong followed his example. “He’s probably boiling inside with jealousy.” He said and wrapped his arm around DongWoo’s waist.

“How do you now?” WooHyun asked trying to recall any actions that would prove what Hoya said (proving his own theory of jealousy as well) and the harder he thought the more he could remember.

“Because, if I wouldn’t know better, I would. See ya!” he said waving goodbye. So did DongWoo and SungJong, leaving the restaurant.

“Aish!” WooHyun let out a loud sigh, ruffling his hair. “I am messing things up again.” He sighed and sank back in to the chair.

“SungGyu?” WooHyun slowly opened the door of SungGyu’s room, where only a small night-lap, which somehow found a place in the small, cramped room of his, gave out its deep orange light.

“I locked the restaurant and did the basic cleaning.” WooHyun continued when he had located the red-hair lying on his ‘bed’ and staring at the ceiling.

“Good.” he said, his voice having zero emotions almost like during the first weeks WooHyun spent here.

“Can I come in?” WooHyun asked and opened the door wider.

“Do as you please.” SungGyu replied, still staring at the ceiling.

WooHyun stepped in to the room, closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the ‘bed’.

“Are you angry?” WooHyun asked after a short moment of silence, looking at his fingers nibbling on the edge of the blanket.

“No.” SungGyu replied and it didn’t sound like he is lying, just that he was dissatisfied with something.

“Then…” WooHyun took a small breath. “Are you jealous?” he asked and turned his head to SungGyu.

“Yes.” The red-hair replied and finally looking at WooHyun. “Yes, I am jealous.” He continued and looked away again.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that… sitting like that and acting like that is a normal thing for us and I kind of didn’t even thought that you would…”

“It’s not about DongWoo.” SungGyu interrupted and closed his eyes for a moment taking a deep breath. “I’m jealous about… them in general.”

WooHyun tilted his head to one side, trying to figure out what was that SungGyu was referring to. What could SungGyu be possibly jealous off?

“I… don’t understand.” WooHyun said honestly.

“You have them and… I don’t.” SungGyu said with a deep sigh, his eyes till closed.

And then it finally hit WooHyun. With them SungGyu meant friends.

He already told WooHyun that everyone moved on/left as soon as he had to choose the diner over his dream of being a musician. The embarrassment of forgetting and not taking that to account almost made WooHyun to slap himself.

He bit his bottom lip and returned his gaze to his fingers, still messing around with the edge of the blanket.

“Well…” he finally said after thinking for a while. “They are yours in a way.” He looked at SungGyu who had turned his head to him already. “They are mine, so they are yours as well.”

“I doubt that that is how it works.” SungGyu said with a fade smile and turned way again.

WooHyun sighed and looked at the red-hair for a moment, before sitting up on his knees and then, after thinking about his next action for a moment, straddling SungGyu’s lower waist, making the later to look at him in shock.

“Then let us make it work like that, because they like you.” WooHyun said, leaning over and resting his elbows on either side SungGyu’s head. “And I like you… only in a different way.”

“Might sound egoistic, but I am used to things being only mine.” SungGyu replied with a sigh, his hands finding their way to WooHyun’s waist.

“Then…” WooHyun said leaning closer and and his lips, “I am only yours.” WooHyun smirked pressing his lips against SungGyu’s and receiving a response right away.

SungGyu’s arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him closer; his lips moved against WooHyun’s in slow, passionate way (a type of kiss that was missing out today); his hands first rubbed WooHyun’s back, then sides until the later’s shirt rode up and SungGyu could slide his hands under it.

It’s the first time SungGyu touched WooHyun like this – in such bold and straight forward way – as before he had avoided direct skin contact, apart from the kisses.

Maybe it’s because he couldn’t run away right then, like he could previous times when ever he thought he was going too far and seemed to loose control. Or maybe the fact that WooHyun just told him that he belonged to him made him want to make it so. Or maybe, just maybe he decided to let go after all this self-control he had done.

Never the less, WooHyun enjoyed the way SungGyu’s fingers moved across his skin, redrawing the lines of his abs and brushing over the ends of his ribs.

“I think this will be more comfortable.” WooHyun broke the kiss with a small gasp, sitting up a little to his shirt and take it off along with the wife-beater under it.

SungGyu’s eyes carefully scanned each centimeter of WooHyun’s bare skin, sending shivers down the later’s spine just by looking at him.

His hand soon followed the path his eyes had drawn before – running up from his abs, over his chest and neck, fingers curling around the back of his neck to pull him down for a kiss.

“Yes, this is more comfortable.” SungGyu muttered in kiss, before deepening it and making WooHyun to moan in it.

“Why didn’t you do this earlier?” WooHyun breathed out, resting his forehead against SungGyu’s, as both of them needed to regain their breaths.

“It was too early…” SungGyu said his breath shallow. “It’s still too early.” He continued, squeezing his eyes shut and slightly shaking his head, his hands settling on WooHyun’s waist in a way, he could easily push the raven-hair.

“No.” WooHyun shook his head, placing his hands on SungGyu’s, to lift them away from his hips and pin them above his head. “It’s not to early.” He said when the red-hair opened his eyes to look at him.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” SungGyu started to chant, when WooHyun grabbed the edge of SungGyu’s shirt and pulled it over other’s head with one movement.

He had wanted to do it already for a while, but never had a chance or appropriate moment to do so… until now.

SungGyu’s body was broader and ‘softer’ by its looks than WooHyun’s. His shoulders, chest and arms were well built (probably of the amount of boxes he had to move on daily basis), while his abdomen only had faint lines of muscles there, but they were still there and… WooHyun found that attractive.

The fact that SungGyu was actually shy about how he looked (which explained the panic-chanting) was visible as a slight blush crept up his cheeks and that was probably one of the cutest things WooHyun had ever seen.

With a small smile on his lips, he leaned forward, placing a kiss on SungGyu’s chest and then looking up at the red-hair, who stared back at him.

“No wonder it was so nice to sleep on you, you’re squishy.” WooHyun said with a wide smile.

“Yah!” SungGyu exclaimed and sat up. “I am not squi…” he didn’t manage to end his sentence as WooHyun was already kissing him, letting his hands to run over his upper arms and back, ending up wrapped around his shoulders.

“I like squishy.” WooHyun said breaking the kiss.

“Shut up.” SungGyu said before capturing WooHyun’s lips in a kiss again, which he broke soon enough, just to lay a trail of kisses over WooHyun’s jaw and neck, marking the later one with few small bites, then move down his chest, sparing some bites for it as well, and then down to his abs – stopping right at the edge of his pants to go back up.

All WooHyun could do was close his eyes and enjoy.

He had missed the sensation of someone’s lips on his skin, of someone’s touches and caresses. He had almost forgotten how good it felt to feel those small bites on his skin, to tangle his fingers in someone’s hair.

He opened his eyes, to look at SungGyu who had stopped his trail of kisses on WooHyun’s jaw, but the very moment he did so he couldn’t suppress a shriek of terror.

Just for a brief minute, no, more like just for few seconds he saw SungYeol in SungGyu’s place and his heart as if died.

“WooHyun?” SungGyu took WooHyun’s face in his hands. “WooHyun?” he called other’s name again. “What happened?” he asked, trying to find any visible cause of WooHyun’s sudden panic.

“I… I…” WooHyun stammered, looking pass SungGyu at the wall. “I… saw… you…as SungYeol.” He finally managed to stammer out and force himself to look at SungGyu, who looked back at him wide-eyed.

“Ouh my god.” SungGyu’s hands dropped from WooHyun’s cheeks and a loud sob broke from WooHyun’s lips the very moment, his hands covering his face. SungGyu felt lost for a moment, but snapped out fast enough and wrapped his arms around WooHyun, pulling him close. “It’s okay.” He said, locking other in his embrace and placing a comforting kiss on to of WooHyun’s head. “It’s really okay.” He said quietly, rocking them slightly and trying to calm WooHyun down. “I knew it was too soon.” He whispered with a sigh, barely audibly, yet WooHyun heard it.

When it won’t be too soon?
He tried his very best to store away all his guilt, all his constant worries about SungYeol, who was god-knows where, if he even was still alive. He tried his best to control his memories and not to link SungGyu with SungYeol, knowing that the guilt would take over him in seconds, but he miserable lost control and the guilt broke loose.

One thing he couldn’t afford to do was to loose control, but that was the thing he did hurting not only himself, but SungGyu as well. 

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Hi!
I obviously ran out of SungGyu's song titles (I am saving 'I Need You' for something), so I will use INFINITE and Nell ones.
This one is from Nell's album 'Slip Away'.
A small secret, when ever there's these madly emotional scenes in my fics, you can sure as hell say that I am shaking and crying while I write it, because I 'live' as my characters, so you can imagine my state right now.

On another note, I hope you all had a nice Christmas, and if you don't know, I posted a special Christmas fiction 'White Night', which includes WooGyu from this fic in distant future as well as MyungYeol from 'Can You Smile' etc.

Also, as a reminder, feel free to add me on twitter, to follow the hints on when a chapter will be posted or ask questions, and also on tumblr, to follow up this quite interesting role-play that's going on there between me as MyungSoo and kuroidaiyamondo as SungYeol.

As for now, that is all.
Have great holidays!