To: Sandara

You have a gift of smile. Your smile can make everybody melt. And I’m one of them. I hope these flowers will make you smile. Take Care Always

-         Brad

Brad??? The one who interviewed us? How did he know where we are staying and how did he know our room? Is he trying to flirt with my Dara? Shiiit!!! Who the hell he think he is to send these flowers for her!!. I knew it. The way he stares at Dara I know there is something. I know he likes her. But I didn’t expect that he will do this.

I put the card inside and put the flowers in the table. I sit down at the couch trying to calm myself. Ggrr… I feel like anytime I can transform into a lion and run to him and eat him alive!!! Does he really need to do this? Suddenly I felt warm hands in my shoulder. I turn around and look at her.

“good morning baby….. rin” she said while smiling at me. Then she.. she kissed me in my forehead. Yes.. she kissed my forehead. I smiled at her. My anger just shrunk down. When I’m angry she can easily fade it away. I don’t know what’s in her she can control my emotions.

“good morning..” I said while giving her my sweet smile. I can only give her this kind of smile coz she’s also the reason behind this smile.

“what my baby want to eat for breakfast?” she ask me. I smile widely hearing the word baby.. how I wish she will always call me baby even when in front of Bom and Minzy..

“i… i… you decide.. Whatever you like” my mind isn’t working properly because of the baby thing. Ahhh dara... why you’re like this? God please help me. She’s torturing me… torturing me in a heaven way. I feel like I’m high.

“ok.. wait I’ll call first and order our food” before she left she kissed me again in my forehead. Dara my lips is not that far from my forehead you can kiss me in my lips. My lips are craving for your lips. You’re wasting your effort in kissing my forehead but if you kiss my lips I’ll make sure you’ll be satisfied. Now my mind and heart is protesting at the same time. but… but .. it’s ok.. I’m happy… my heart is jumping.. at least she kisses me.

I look at her. She’s smiling at me while taking our order. After she made our order she lay down on the couch with her head on my lap looking at me with her sweet smile. What a good morning I have this day. Her sweetness in me makes me fall for her times 2 in every minute. She always like this when we’re alone. I don’t know the reason and I don’t want to bother.. I rather enjoy this than to keep on thinking.

“baby rin?”

“hmmm?”

“uhmm.. can I ask you something?”

“sure what was that?”

“do you… uhmmm.. do you.. still.. like Teddy oppa?” she ask me hesitantly. I’m stoned. I don’t know what to say. I like her and I love her. I’m sure with that. Teddy oppa is just my crush when I’m still young. But now the one I like and the one I love is the person who’s laying her head in my lap. It’s you Dara!

She’s looking at me. her expression.. she’s nervous.. nervous of what? That I will say I like him? I can’t speak. I don’t know how to answer it. I don’t know how to start.

“uhmm. Never mind CL-roo.. sorry for asking you this kind of question. I think it’s too personal..” she said. I think I took so long being quiet and she thinks I don’t want to answer her.

“Dara…” I called her. She’s walking away after what she said. Chaerin!!! It’s your fault you fix this!!! Now she’s inside of the bathroom doing I don’t know. Why I’m such a fool? Why I didn’t answer her. it’s too simple to act like that. I can simply say I don’t like Teddy anymore. Why Chaerin why?

“darong.. I’m .. I’m sorry if..” I run to her when she step out of the bathroom.

“no it’s ok CL.. don’t worry about it.. I’m sorry if I ask you like that.. let’s just don’t talk about it..” she said and get her phone. Now she’s calling Bom and Minzy to jois us for breakfast.

CL???? She’s not calling me with that name. What’s with her? I can’t figure out why she acts like this.. And I ing hate it.. I’m such a fool. AAArrggghh!!! I should tell her I don’t like Teddy. Now I’m in pain. I don’t like her to be like that. Chaerin!! Why you didn’t answer her! why!

Bom’s Room

We’re here in Bom’s room. Drinking, eating, talking, laughing, singing and dancing. We play and enjoy this. We may not be in the real club but we still enjoy this. Having a free time and enjoy this is rare since we have full pack schedule. Dara is now dancing with Minzy. Since we arrive she’s always with Minzy. Sometimes Minzy dances ily in front of Dara. I think she’s flirting Dara! Dara and I didn’t talk after that incident this morning. I miss her already. I’m with her but we didn’t talk. I want to dance also in front of her. coz whenever I dance ily in front of her she always blushed and she always says that she like my dance.

Dara is drinking right now. I keep on staring at her. I know she knows I’m staring at her coz I caught her looking at me also. When she looks at me I can she pain in her eyes. Dara please don’t look at me like that you don’t know I’m also hurt when you look at me like that. I want to talk to you. I want to clear things about what happened.

 I want to sit beside her but… Minzy.. she’s sitting beside her. and… and.. the way she looks at Dara I know there is something. I feel like my body is in flames. My heart it’s in pain. I’m jealous. I don’t like what I’m seeing at this time. Dara is drunk and she’s leaning her head in Minzy’s chest. Minzy just enjoys it very much. She put her arm around Dara’s waist. While her other hand can’t stop caressing Dara’s face. I feel like I want to run to Minzy and punch her really hard. I want to wake her up in the reality that she’s mine and don’t ever touch her like that. But I don’t have the right. She’s not mine. I don’t even know if she likes me too.

Suddenly I saw Dara walking to the door. She’s leaving. Minzy followed her. What is she planning with Dara? Ok. I’ll follow them secretly. I saw Dara and Minzy enter our room. Oohh.. my… don’t tell me… no! no! Chaerin it’s not what you think.

I open the door slightly. Now I’m sneaking at them. !! Minzy kiss Dara!!! I was about to run at her and do something really bad but I stop myself instead I watch the two of them and listen.

“w-why.. Minzy.. w-why did you do that?" Dara ask Minzy. She’s shocked. I think she’s not drunk anymore because of Minzy’s action.. she’s confused.

“unnie.. I love you.. I know you knew it already. I like you since we’re starting as 2NE1. I thought I only adore you… your beauty… Your smile… Your attitude… your kindness.. but I was wrong… as time goes by I felt something weird inside me. I started to love you not as my sister but… but… I love you more than a friend.. I want you to be mine.” Minzy said while looking deeply in Dara’s eyes. I’m shocked. All this time one of my rivals is just with me every day. How I didn’t notice it.

“Minzy.. I love you too.. but only as a younger sister.. I’m sorry but… I’m in love with someone else..” Dara is in love??? With whom? My heart.. please.. stay strong. Please. I’m down. I’m in really pain. My heart turns into tiny pieces hearing Dara is inlove with someone else.

“who??? Chaerin unnie? You love her right? ” Minzy said she’s almost yelling. She’s hurt. I can feel it in her voice. W..wait.. me? Why me?? She’s in love with me? Dara? Sandara park? The one who owns my heart? She’s in love with me? Is this real? Do I really hear it right? Am I not dreaming? But I’m sure I hear it clear. Yesss!!!!! Dara is in love with me.. Yes!!! But I have to listen again.. This is not the right time to have my own victory. I have to make sure she is really in love with me.

“…” Dara didn’t say anything. So.. it means .. it’s true she’s in love with me. now I’m relief. She’s mine. I only need to make it special. But what if… now that Dara and I are not ok she will accept Minzy. Oohh! I should continue listening.

“I knew it. You love her! You always ignore my feelings for you because of her! You always put a distance between us. You know what? I even copy the way she dresses because you like chick people. I tried to be chick in your eyes. I try to be like her.. but… what? You just look at her you don’t even look at me. Dara I love you.. Can’t you see? I’m the one who loves you not her. She doesn’t love you. Look.. She just treats you as a friend. You’re always hurt because of her. She doesn’t even see your effort for her. Don’t waste your love for her. Why don’t you try to love me? I can love you more than you love her. I will do everything for you. Please Dara let me feel your love that you give for Chaerin. Please I love you” Minzy is now crying.

“Minzy… thank you for loving me.. I’m happy that a girl like you chooses to love a girl like me… but I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to play with your feelings. You’re young.. Eventually you’ll find a person better than me and will love you as you love me. I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Dara look at Minzy and smile at her. She gave her sweet smile and wipe Minzy’s tears with her thumb.

“but…. but… I really…”

“ssshhh.. You will always be my baby ok? Let’s forget about this. I love you ok? Even if I can’t give the love you’re asking I still love you the way I can give you.” she said while holding Minzy’s hands. Minzy just nodded and smile. I guess Minzy is mature enough with this kind of situation.

Now.. All I’m thinking about is how to make it official. I want Dara to be my girl. I don’t like lose her. I want to tell her I love her. I want to show her how much she means to me. I want to hug her… kiss her… take care of her.. I want to do all with her. I also want to show and tell Minzy and Bom that I love Dara. Although I can’t tell yet the world that I love her at least 2 of the most important person in my life knows it it’s enough. Also being with her all the time is enough with me. I don’t want to hide my feelings for her anymore.