So here I was. I have always lived like this, but why did  it suddently feel so empty? 
I knew the answer, but I wanted to forget it, fast. I've laways seen myself as mature, and I belive that I am. Even though I was younger than Oska, and that ajumma too, I think I saw myself as more mature than him. That made him.. cute. The thing is, I dont wanna feel mature tonight. I was in another country and no one knew me. So, I could do whatever right? No one would recognize me. 

Yeah I had been drinking some, but my head still felt clear, especially when I thought about what I was supposed to forget. So, I made the smartest decision. Since Im in the US, and no one knows me, why not try a gay club? Im so tired of boing girls looking at me, when I wont ever like any of them. I didn't really wanna hook up with anyone, I just wanted to do something different and crazy for a moment. 

So here I am. In a gay club in America. Wow. Although I acted like I was very open about my.. secret? to Oska, the truth is that not many people knows, and I havent done something like this like.. ever. This was  a little.. intimedating. 

"Hey y, in or out? People after you want in"

"Im sorry, I was just about to go in" I said in english. My english is good, and my pokerface perfect, but inside I felt like throwing up. Maybe this wasn't such idea afeter all. But my head felt lighter in the discolighted room, with the music pumping. I needed something more to drink though. The bar was crowded, but somehow I managed to get a spot. 

"Ajussss, I mean bartender, a drink please!" I shouted to the bartender over the loud music. 

"One moment. Here ya go" The bartender was pretty hot I must admit. He was shaved so when I first saw him from behind he looked older, but now I see that he couldn't be older than Oska at least. Oska. I quickly swiped my drink, and somehow the glass was full again in a moment. Maybe the bartender was quick, I though. It all became a little blurry afetr  a while. I need some air, I thought and tried to look for an exit of some sort. But the music was really souning good,  I should dance just a little before going. I've never felt so free, this was paradise. It was only guys like me, and I felt very accepted just being here. We all had the same feelings, I didnt have to be started at by ugly girls and I could just dance. I've never seen Korea as a homophobic country, but I've heard rumors and the tolerace wasnt as high as here. Here, I could be myself. It was fun dancing while thinking that. I relaxed and danced to the music, swayed my hips and-

"Tsk tsk, little boys should be home sleeping by now" Someone suddenlty whispered in my ear. 
I turned around.
"Yah Im no lill' boy. Ya don' need to worry about mee, worry bout yourself" I grimarsed as I heard I sluddered a little, but my heard was perfectly clear. 
"Is thats so?" The guy said raising an eyebrow. THEN HIS HANDS SQUEEZED ON MY ! My eyes when wide as I couldn't stop a gasp.
"Aah! W-what are you doin? Shtop it!"
"Hmm? But you are a big boy right? or are you a little, bad boy? Anyone as cute as you have to have done this before anyways. You like it" he said and started kneading my . 
"ngno, let me go!"
"You came to this club, shut up and enjoy it, hehe"
"BAAAM!" I pushed him away from me and then kneed him right where it hurts the most. He went down on his knees, all pale. 
"Never come near me again, my starndards are much higher than you" The last I said in korean though. And then I though of Oska again. , this was supposed to make me forget, this crazy guy made me remember again. I couldnt help but kick him again, in the stomach. Idiot. Stupid stupid idiot. I wasn't sure if I though about him or me any longer.