Fading the music out, the sound engineer dragged the knob on the control panel and signaled for the radio host to begin speaking. “Wow, and that was you?” The host spoke into the microphone, his head turned toward Jinhwan as he marveled at the man’s talent.

“Uh, yeah.” The rapper responded, slightly embarrassed. It was the first time he had ever heard one of his songs get played on the radio and he tried his hardest not to look like a complete idiot.

“But wait, aren’t you like ten years older than the average rapper?” The other co-host chimed in, his comment slightly faltering Jinhwan’s grin.

Jinhwan tried hard to laugh off the small dig. “True, but with old age comes experience. These kids only talk about broken hearts and gettin’ girls, I rap about real life.”

Sensing the tense environment within the studio between Jinhwan and the other co-host, the MC tried to changed subjects. “Speaking of real life, tell us. Are you really dating the Queen of Pop?”

The live-feed camera inside the small studio streaming footage to the internet zoomed in on the rapper anticipating his response. Jinhwan knew this question was coming. Baek Kyoung had versed him in his response repeatedly while he getting ready in the green room, but Jinhwan had another answer prepared. Staring straight at the camera, the rapper winked and smiled before replying. “Those reports are entirely false. In fact,” he added cutting off the radio host before the man could counter with another question. “I’m happily married.”

“What? You’re married?” The host who had first joked around about the rapper’s age quickly spit out. “Since when?”

Jinhwan flashed a sly smile at his manager who was freaking out next to the sound engineer on the other side of the window in the adjacent room. He knew that his manager could do nothing to stop him. “Yup, married to the love of my life, for five years actually. To be honest I hate myself for having to keep it secret, but like you said I’m old. To make a name for myself in the business was hard enough, and so as to not upset my fans or hinder my growth in the industry I was forced to keep it a secret.”

The other host nodded his head solemnly, knowing exactly where the rapper was coming from. Jinhwan wasn’t the first artist in the industry who had to hide their relationship just for the sake of losing fans. “But why speak up now?”

“The recent situation got out of hand and it hurt my wife a lot. Even though she knows they were all lies it still hurt, and I hated seeing her cry.” Jinhwan nervously chuckled, his face turning away from the host to look straight into the camera again. “I’m sorry it got this far Yumi. Thank you for always supporting me and I love you. I’ll see you when I get home, ok?” The studio erupted in applause, as the two co-hosts admired Jinhwan’s admission. 

“Wait, man you can’t just stop there. Details, we need details.”

“Yea, how did you two meet?” The other host added.

Jinhwan looked down, his cheeks slightly flushed. It was an emotion no one really expected to see from a man who was known as a hardcore underground rapper. “She came to one of my battles.”

“Trustworthy people disappear, one two
I’m not an exception, still the same person
I speak faster than I look I would
Wherever people go, their mouths keep talking
I don’t even know me, so how would you know me?”*

Jinhwan rapped, getting too close to his opponent’s comfort zone as he glared down at him. The guy was no match for Jinhwan, especially when he started spitting rhymes making assumptions on how Jinhwan had grown up. The crowd erupted into a frenzy as Jinhwan took a step back, his eyes still staring darkly back at his opponent before turning away.

Rap battles always got personal no matter how much the MCs would say otherwise. Most of the inexperienced rappers believed that dishing out insults were the only way to win a battle, and they always seemed to use the fact that Jinhwan was put up for adoption at birth as their main strategy of attack. It was getting old, but opponents would use it all the same. Battles suddenly became about defending one’s pride and honor, the stage being Jinhwan’s battlefield and he never backed down.

The crowd would always go crazy, but Jinhwan never reacted to it or noticed. For those few seconds after delivering his last line he would still be in the moment, the anger coursing through his blood while he glared back at his opponent. He despised people thinking they knew him, thinking they knew what it was like growing up. It was only until the MC would pull them further apart, when Jinhwan’s anger would simmer down and he would turn to face the crowd, who were more often than not chanting his name.

One corner of his mouth curled up into a small smirk, as his eyes looked out into the crowd. The winner had already been decided before the MC could even ask the crowd for their opinion as they all just chanted Jinhwan’s name. The rapper’s eyes landed on a young woman who was just standing there looking up at him in awe. It didn’t bother him that she wasn’t chanting his name, but the fact that she looked out of her element, almost like a “lost lamb.”

Jinhwan had seen different types of people show up to the underground battles, but Yumi was in a class of her own. She wasn’t dressed ty or like a boy, as was with almost every other girl there, but prettily; that was the only word he could think of to describe it. Jumping off the stage after the MC had announced what he and the crowd had already known, that he won, he made his way toward her.

Her friend, Haeri, who had a crush on a co-worker who was trying to moonlight as a rapper, had dragged Yumi to the club with her to show the man some support. Although Haeri’s crush, Danny, didn’t even make it past the first round, the group of friends remained to see who ended up on top. While the MCs were preparing for the next battle, the group walked away from the crowd and over to the bar to order a round of drinks. Yumi had been to clubs countless of times before, but none of them were like this one and she couldn’t hide how intimidated she felt by those around her. They all seemed to exude a level of confidence she had never seen before and not only was she impressed by it but felt somewhat empowered because of it. And the effect the rapper who had just won the battle had on her was no different. He floored Yumi. It was as though his words spoke to her, and she was engrossed in every emotion he conveyed. She had never seen someone so passionate about the words coming out of his mouth that it rattled her to the core.

Jinhwan’s confidence, which to some border-lined cockiness, stemmed from him naturally whether on or off stage, and his sweet baby face looks mixed with his bad- cornrows always made him an easy magnet for girls. However, for the rapper, who was always just about the music, those shallow women did nothing for him. But there was something about the doe-eyed girl in the crowd that sparked his initial interest, and the need to get to know her grew with each step he took towards her.

“Something tells me this is your first time here.” Jinhwan said, as he approached the young woman. Their eyes locked and Yumi found herself at a loss for words. She desperately wanted to come up with something witty to knock him off his feet and charm him into oblivion, but she was stumped as she merely gazed back at him.

Jinhwan wasn’t the only one who seemed to show an interest in the Japanese-Korean beauty, as Danny, the eye of Haeri’s affection, was also drawn to her. Immediately noticing the rapper trying to talk to her, Danny swiftly swung an arm around Yumi’s shoulders, pulling her toward him and forcing her back against Jinhwan before she could try and respond. Despite being clearly ed, Jinhwan didn’t smell defeat, as Yumi turned to look at him over her shoulder, smiling at him apologetically. The rapper wanted to try again, and would have, had the MC not called his name to come up to the stage for his next battle, which he won – naturally.

The two would meet again a few days later when Yumi went to the underground club alone. Why? Well, for a multitude of reasons, one of them being how amazingly charismatic Jinhwan was on stage. The young woman was sure her friends would throw a fit if they found out she went again, considering rap battles and the world of hip-hop weren’t really her style, but she could care less; she wanted to see him again.

Jinhwan was hanging out in the far corner of the stage, bobbing his head to the beat of the music that was coming out of the speakers next to him, listening to the two rappers battle it out. He wasn’t partaking in the battle that night as it was exclusively for amateurs and with the number of wins under his belt Jinhwan was far from being considered an amateur.  Looking passed the two rappers on stage, his eyes were immediately drawn to the beauty he saw just a few nights ago. “Hey man, I’ll be back.” He shouted at Teddy, his best friend and DJ at the club, before making his way toward her.

Walking through the crowd that stood in front of the stage, Jinhwan decided to approach her from behind, hoping that if he caught her off guard, he would have less chances of getting ed again. Yumi swayed to the beat of the music and mimicked the flow of the crowd as everyone jerked their bodies to the base pounding into their eardrums. She couldn’t deny how disinterested she was in the two rappers on stage and wondered if the man in cornrows would take the stage again that night.

She hissed in pain when the guy next to her accidently dug his elbow into this side of her head as he waved his hand up and down to the music. “Oh, my bad.” The guy blurted out turning to see Yumi rub her head where he had hit her.

“It’s okay, just watch it next time, alright?” Jinhwan said, wrapping one arm around her waist as he pressed his chest firmly against her back. Yumi’s head spun around her eyes level with his mouth as he smiled down at her. “You ok, hun?”

Startled, Yumi blurted out. “You’re not on stage.”

Jinhwan chuckled and shook his head. “Not tonight,” he said, noticing the slight disappointment in her eyes. “Why, you came to hear me rap?”

“No.” Yumi quickly turned away, not wanting him to see her blush. If only the rapper knew what his laugh was doing to her insides right now. “I came to see-” Her voice drifted off as her gaze darted toward the rappers still on stage waiting to see who won. Of course she came to see him, but she wasn’t about to let him know that.

“Ah, your boy from the other night.” Jinhwan spoke up, figuring Yumi was here to show support for Danny. “Yeah, he couldn’t pass the first round again.”

Yumi spun around, this time her whole body turning to face him. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she immediately spit out.

“I didn’t say he was.” Jinhwan smiled cheekily, reaching his other arm out to hold onto her waist. “But his set ended a long time ago, why are you still here?” The rapper wanted her to admit that she came to see him. He had to hear the words come out of ; he needed to hear it.

Yumi narrowed her eyes, trying hard to think of a response. “I wanted to see who would win.”

“Is that so? Who do you want to win?”

Her eyes flickered toward the wall and read off the first name she saw on the event poster. “Dok-2.” She quietly responded, not knowing she incorrectly said the rapper's name by saying the number two.

A smile spread across his face and a glint of playfulness filled his eyes as he stepped up closer to her. “Big fan of his?”

Yumi nodded her head, clearly unaware of the hole she was digging herself into. “Yup. Big fan, that’s why I came today.”

Jinhwan tried hard not to laugh at her expense. “Big fan huh?” Yumi nodded again, fidgeting in place. “It’s pronounced Doki. His name; Doki”

She looked up at him, her face flustered. “Yea, I know. I just like to call him Dok-2.”

Playing along with her attempt to cover up her mistake, the rapper continued to ask her questions. “You like him a lot?”

Yumi merely nodded her head, looking away from him and at the people around them. “I said I was a big fan didn’t I?” Who was she kidding? She didn’t even know what the man looked like.

“Better than me?”

The young woman’s head popped up, her eyes widening at the question yet unable to come up with a response.

Jinhwan smirked wickedly at her. “That’s what I thought.”

“What do you mean?”

Leaning into her so his mouth was right up against her ear, he replied. “Admit it, you came to see me.” He let his lips press gently against the soft patch of skin under her ear and smiled when she didn’t pull away.

Yumi fell back into the chair and couldn’t believe what she was reading on her computer screen. Article after article, each talking about Jinhwan revealing his secret marriage of five years and linking a video to his confession. The young woman’s hand hesitantly moved the mouse, clicking on the video as she sat at the edge of her chair curious as to hear what he had said. It felt like her heart stopped beating in her chest and her lungs no longer wanted to expand when Jinhwan looked right into the camera and admitted he was happily married for five years. Why was it that now after she had fought with herself for almost four years about it, finally deciding she wanted out of the marriage, that he was trying so hard to reel her back in?

word count: 2461

thanks for reading!

*Jinhwan’s rap lyrics taken from 1TYM’s 니가 날 알어？ (Do you know me?)

Translations courtesy of Yoonie @ aheeyah.com