A/N : Finally this was done OTL and I have a twitter yeaaahhh!!! Woohhhoooo…. Its @Fairybubbly and I have this Yoseob birdie as my display picture. I have no idea what to do, my twitter is blank and I am just seriously proud of myself for having one lol… although I have no ing idea what to do with it OTL. I’m old... this kind of things are totally off my period. Anyways, people please add me! Not sure how twitter works but definitely will try it \o/ Be my friends on twitter (do we become friends on twitter or just followers? Or just being followed? I am so confused T.T) Anyways, comments are always loved <3

A/N 2: I hope this chapter clears out the air a little bit. I realized for some time that I have one less friend? I lost a friend here? oh god, I am so sorry, I must be pretty awful... I apologise for whatever I did and I am so sorry T.T

Yoseob woke up to ticklish kisses on his face: his eye, his cheekbone, his temple, his jaw, the corner of his mouth, the tip of his nose. He blinked blearily, trying to focus his vision and was immediately greeted by a pair of twinkling almond eyes and a wide silly grin.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

And Yoseob blinked again, trying to banish his imagination which took the form of Doojoon in his head. He blinked again but the imagination that was Doojoon was still there, grinning stupidly at him – stupidly in love – and Yoseob realized. He felt warmth radiating from the toned body underneath him, he could still feel the slight wetness on his face from Doojoon’s persistent kissing, he could decidedly feel the love flowing from Doojoon’s eyes and the happiness from Doojoon’s grin. Yoseob realized that this was real; Doojoon was real and not just part of his too active imagination.

“You’re still here.” Yoseob whispered. Eyes locking with Doojoon’s.

Doojoon chuckled, “Of course I’m still here, silly. Where else would I be?” He leaned down and kissed the tip of Yoseob’s nose affectionately.

“I don’t know, not here…” Yoseob almost sobbed. “But you are still here…” He proceeded to bury his face into the clan leader’s chest and wrapped his arms together around Doojoon’s waist. The older man frowned slightly but smiled nonetheless, tightening his hold on the warm snuggling bundle, pressing both of their bodies together. He turned his head a little and left a few kisses on Yoseob’s temple before sighing loudly in relief and resting his cheek atop of the younger man’s head.

There was a slight pause as they basked in the presence of one another, of holding and being held, of breathing each other’s scents, of remembering the feeling of skin against another stretch of skin, of the thumping heartbeats. It was a serene morning and although they were absolutely and pressed together, there was no lust or any ual intentions in between; there was only deep affection and pure relief washing over them.

Too many thoughts on their minds; one was torn in between choices of gaining and losing, the other one clinging to the trust – or lack of it – and his fragile heart, but both were strongly connected by the unmistakable love towards one another.

Yoseob frowned as sadness washed over him like a fresh bucket of icy cold water. He trembled slightly and pressed closer to Doojoon. There was a whirlwind of emotions inside of him, he could not even compartmentalize his feelings in order for him to think properly. He looked up to see Doojoon dozing off peacefully, eyes shut with lips parted slightly. Doojoon did not loosen his embrace on Yoseob even in his sleep, and the younger man smiled lovingly at this little detail.

Yoseob should be enraged, furious out of his mind, pissed to his death. He should be throwing things at Doojoon, punching the older man to death and beyond, shouting all the cuss words he had ever known in his entire life, stabbing a knife so deep into Doojoon’s heart until there was no blood left. Doojoon lied to him, used him for the older man’s own selfish purposes, and on top of everything else, Doojoon was a Yoon. He was supposed to hate Yoon ing Doojoon to the core.

But here he was, clinging to Doojoon like there was no tomorrow, almost sobbing in relief when he found the older man in bed beside him, hugging and kissing him, even after he showed the ring to Doojoon. The ring that was supposed to be the priority of any Yoon leader, a possession so precious that the existence of it was shrouded in mystery. Yoseob had laid out everything for Doojoon to take, he had given all the choices for Doojoon to make, there was nothing left for Yoseob to hide.

Yoseob loved Doojoon.

Now he knew how his eomma felt. Blinded by love, she gave everything to the man who disappointed her. And Yoseob was no better, he should have known better, but his mind stopped working, common sense was a thing of the past. Yoseob was awfully, terrifyingly blinded by love. Glorious love that could turn into poison at any time, he knew that one faithful day, separation would come, it was inevitable, and he would gladly love Doojoon for the period of time until that day came. He would take anything Doojoon had to offer now and deal with his foolish self later on.

Yoseob loved Doojoon so much that his history did not matter, his intention did not matter, nothing mattered anymore. This love was careless, it was foolish, it was extremely dangerous, but Yoseob felt nothing but a sense of overwhelming happiness.

Yoseob would die for Doojoon if needed or if the older man asked him to. And it was a very frightening thought for him.

He had suspected that something was not sitting right with Doojoon from the start, he was too perfect for Yoseob to be real, and no one could be that irresistible to Yoseob the way Doojoon did. He was charming, funny, caring, sweet; he was rusty with all the house chores and supermarket shopping and stuff, but Yoseob totally loved it when Doojoon softly gasped at the washing machine or when he complaint that all the eggs looked the same and Yoseob should not waste any time choosing one from another. Doojoon was like a prince charming, but without the shining armor or the white horse; he was absolutely real and he was here, wrapped up around Yoseob on the bed.

Yoseob should have prepared himself for the truth, especially when he found the hidden phone at some corner of his drawer. He could not access it though, it was password protected, and Yoseob had no intention to pry into anything deeper. But he was still shocked, still taken aback, when Doojoon told him during the walk home from the nursery school – thank god he was on Doojoon’s back – the truth hurt him but it was beyond adorable, how Yoseob found that confessing to a huge lie was adorable was still a big question in his mind, but Doojoon’s voice was so sincere, it was so full of love and filled with hurt. He could still remember the way Doojoon croaked at some point, unable to confess fully to a supposedly sleeping Yoseob. He waited for the hate to surface, for the anger to take over inside of him, but instead nothing came but a surge of irrepressible love and affection.

And Yoseob still found it impossible to hate Doojoon even now.

He turned his head on Doojoon’s chest and placed a chaste kiss on the skin on top of his heart. He could hear the steady rhythm of the older man’s heartbeat. He would love the older man until time permitted and when the day came, he would let Doojoon go. Yoseob would let Doojoon free, because by then, he would have nothing to offer anymore.

Lullabied by the steady rhythm of Doojoon’s heart, Yoseob fell asleep.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O

“Yah, can you place the books properly? I bet Daejung can do better than you!”

Yoseob narrowed his eyes dangerously and turned around to glare at Doojoon who was bossing him around like he owned the place. This rental store belonged to Hyunseung, not to ing Doojoon.

“What?” He asked innocently, widening his eyes before looking back down to the papers on the desk.

Yoseob growled in frustration and fisted the pink apron – the apron Junhyung always wore – to appease his anger. He was losing it. Oh, he had lost it. “ this .” He dumped the rest of the books, joining other stacks on the floor.

It was Yoseob’s off day, he had no class or any shift on that day, so he decided to help Doojoon out in the rental store – and to maximize his time with Doojoon, he was not going to miss a single second. But now, he would gladly go home and lock Doojoon out of the apartment. He was upset and thoroughly annoyed.

“You know what,” Yoseob untied the pink apron and huffed angrily, “ this . And you too.”

Doojoon looked up immediately upon hearing a furious tone, frowning to what had upset Yoseob, “What is wrong with you?”

Yoseob paused in disbelief and stared at the older man incredulously, not believing Doojoon could not realize that the older man was the source of his annoyance. Doojoon was what went wrong. “What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me!! What is wrong with you!” Yoseob shouted hysterically.

Upon seeing his hysterical lover with wild eyes, Doojoon immediately walked towards the panting younger man and wrapped him in a warm and ensuring embrace. One hand wrapping around a tiny waist, another hand cradling Yoseob’s head carefully against his chest, trying to soothe his agitated lover down. Yoseob’s body was tense; it did not melt into Doojoon just like how it always did. Yoseob had almost never snapped at him before – well, once before when he had accidentally mixed the whites and colored laundry together and what came out was a mixture of artistic tie-dye – but not to something as trivial as this, and definitely not this severe. Doojoon knew something was wrong, very very wrong.

Doojoon lowered his mouth to Yoseob’s ear and whispered carefully, “What is wrong, love?”

Yoseob buried his face deeper into Doojoon’s chest as he shook his head, silent and trembling in the affectionate hug.

“You can tell me, Yoseobah.” Doojoon cooed in Yoseob’s ear, swaying the younger man slowly as he felt the tenseness disappeared slowly. “You can tell me everything.”

He could not tell Doojoon, he could never tell him. Because then Doojoon would go away, he would leave Yoseob alone and never come back, and Yoseob was not ready for it yet, not ready for that one day to come so soon. He had to play along with not knowing Doojoon’s real identity – the current Yoon clan leader – because it would kill him if Doojoon left now. But god, it was so hard. So so hard, it was beyond difficult to pretend his oblivion, to pretend he did not know, to pretend everything was ok. Everything was a mess to Yoseob, he was a mess. There were so many emotions, so many feelings, so many ironies inside of him, he could barely contain all of it inside.

One day, when Doojoon left him, he would burst into tiny particles and evaporate into nothingness.

Yoseob looked up to find a worried Doojoon staring back at him, and he smiled. A tiny little that did not reach his eyes. “Nothing is wrong. I love you.”

Doojoon smiled back and Yoseob hoped he was terribly wrong when he saw immense hurt on the older man’s handsome face. “I love you, too. Always.”

“And I’m sorry for snapping. I didn’t mean to.” Yoseob whispered slowly, voice so soft that Doojoon could miss it.

Doojoon tightened his embrace and lifted the younger man a little off the floor. He chuckled when Yoseob gasped in surprise. “I’m sorry too, I was really rude. Forgive me?”

Yoseob smiled again, a smile that almost reached his eyes. He pecked Doojoon’s lips, a chaste enough kiss for them to bask in their love and affection towards each other.

“Am I disturbing anything?”

Both Doojoon and Yoseob were jerked back from their own little world into the harsh reality of life. They turned their heads towards the entrance almost at the same time to see a young tall man, dressed in neatly pressed suits, walking into the humble rental store. There was something unsettling; the contrast between his suits and the chaotic rental store was almost nauseating to Yoseob.

“Hyungnim.” He bowed politely when he found Doojoon staring daggers at him. He was busy staring at the smaller man in his Hyungnim’s embrace. That must be –

“What are you doing here?” Doojoon asked as he let go of Yoseob from his arms and pushed the younger man to stand behind him. Yoseob peeked out from the side like a cute puppy and blinked a few times in confusion because Doojoon sounded really cold, like he was ready to murder the man in front of their eyes.

The young man chuckled slightly as he witnessed the possessive devil took over Doojoon’s body, “I’m here to rent some mangas to read. I have some time to spend and what would be more fulfilling than a good leisure read?” He then looked at Yoseob and smiled charmingly, “And this is…?”

“Get your damned mangas and get out of here, Jihoon.” Doojoon warned, his voice held much more than a dangerous threat. Yoseob frowned and stepped away from Doojoon, he tilted his head to the side slightly, “You know each other?”

“Yes.” Doojoon answered, “This is – “

Jihoon turned towards Yoseob and answered sweetly, offering a hand to Yoseob politely, “Jihoon. Doojoon Hyung’s longtime friend and his best dongsaeng.” The younger man nodded softly and bowed politely, not taking the offered hand as he introduced himself curtly. Doojoon smiled inwardly as Yoseob ignored Jihoon’s hand and the other man had to retract his hand back into the pocket of his pants.

“Yoseob.”

Jihoon grinned, not in the least perturbed by Yoseob’s unwelcoming gesture. “It’s my greatest pleasure to meet you, Yoseob-sshi.” Yoseob bowed again but did not smile. Something was not sitting right with this Jihoon guy. Yoseob was not an unfriendly guy, he was always all smiles and welcoming, but hearing the tone of Doojoon’s voice and the annoyance in the older man’s eyes, Yoseob knew something was wrong. Added by the fact that he was a ball of emotional mess, Yoseob had no intention to be nice at this moment. He just wanted to cocoon himself in Doojoon, Doojoon, and more Doojoon.

“So?” Doojoon asked and raised his eyebrow in impatience. Patience used to be his friend and he wondered the exact time he had lost his friendship with it. “Which ones are you going to rent, Jihoon?”

Jihoon, who was still fixated on Yoseob, looked back to Doojoon at the question and raised his own eyebrows in a challenge. “Oh, no. I’ll come back some time later then. I see both of you are busy with… busy. So I’ll drop by later when the time is more convenient.” Jihoon smiled to both men and bowed politely to say his goodbye. “It’s great seeing you again, Hyungnim.” And he turned towards Yoseob, “It is my great pleasure to meet you, Yoseob-sshi. I am hoping to see you more often in the future.”

Doojoon frowned in displeasure, “I hope not. He is busy.”

Jihoon laughed at the response and added, pointing to Yoseob. “By the way, that pink apron looks really good on you.” He bowed once again before turning back to his sleek black car.

Once Jihoon had left, both men stood in awkward silent for a good few minutes before Yoseob walked back to his previous spot and continued slotting books to their respective places. Yoseob knew Jihoon must be someone from the clan, the suits, the sleek black car, his behavior, the way he carried himself, the aura of unmistakable aloofness. The only mystery was Jihoon’s position in the clan. He looked important though, and by the way he spoke to Doojoon – the clan leader – he must be somewhere up there in the clan leadership ladder. His head hurt and he just wanted everything and everyone to go away.

But every cell of hatred inside him evaporated when he felt warm hands wrapping his waist from behind and a soft kiss was placed on his exposed nape.

“Are you seriously ok? You make me so worried.” Doojoon whispered into Yoseob’s ear and hecould feel the warm breath tickling his earlobe.

He almost cried, he almost sobbed, he almost broke down. “I’m fine… just tired.”

“You keep getting tired lately and you hardly sleep.” Doojoon chastised gently.

Yoseob sighed loudly and swallowed a lump in his throat, “… so many things on my mind. I’m thankful you are here with me.”

Doojoon kissed Yoseob’s cheek reassuringly. “I am not going anywhere. Let’s get home. Give me a minute, I’ll talk to Hyunseung to close up early, he won’t mind.” Yoseob nodded and took off his pink apron when Doojoon let go of him and immediately went to call Hyunseung from the landline phone.

Yoseob grabbed his jacket and waited for Doojoon to close everything up. It was February, still chilly but the smell of spring was palpable in the air. It had been a while since Doojoon had moved in with him and he could not suppress the feeling of overwhelming love and uncontrollable happiness. The future was unclear, but Yoseob would make the best out of every second he could get with Doojoon.

“Ready to go?” Doojoon took Yoseob’s hand and intertwined their fingers together in a warm and strong hold.

Yoseob smiled, “I love you.”

Doojoon stared at the beaming younger man. The smile actually reached up to Yoseob’s eyes, and this had been the first in a few days. He leaned down and kissed the younger man on the lips.

“I love you more. More than you know.”