Kai kicked his shoes off and into his slippers as he entered his home. He had two grocery bags, one in each hand, he dropped one and carried the other with him as he walked towards the sofa. 

He threw the single grocery bag on the sofa before throwing himself on it as well. He dug his hand into the grocery bag and pulled out a carton of banana milk; Taemin hyung was right- banana milk was addictive. Jong In had found himself buying it regularly, well whenever he needed to quench his thirst (which was all the time)...

Kai opened the carton and took a slurp of it. His head was tilted back as he gulped down the drink when he noticed, in the corner of his eyes, his phone sitting on the coffe table, untouched with a blnket of dust starting to later on it.

"Hmm," Kai went, he took the carton away from his mouth and wiped his banana milk moustache on his upper lip with his sleeve. "It has been nearly a week since I've last spoke to her." Kai muttered to himself. He put the milk carton on the coffee table and reached over for his phone.

He stretched his arm for his phone, quickly grabbit it before sitting back into the sofa comfortably. He wiped the dust with his thumb and switched it on. 

Kai waited patiently for his phone to load up, he took another slurp of banana milk as he did so. He hummed and sung 'What is Love' under his breath as he waited.

"I lost my mind~ Noreul choeummannasseultte, no hanappego modeungoseun. Get in slow motion~" He sung. "Ahh~ Such a good song, sounds better when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo sings it though." He said.

Finally, when his phone finished loading up, he read his messaging and call notifications, it read- 7 new messages, 2 missed calls and a single voice mail.

"Woah..." Kai blinked, "A lot of messages." He acknowledged. 

He read the messages first; two of them were from Tao and Suho, the messages were just normal though (asking what Kai was doing and such). But the five other messages were from the same number; an unknown number. Kai didn't recognise them at all, but he read them anyway.

A text from the very day when Kai switched his phone off (to avoid Jung Ah).

'Hi, Kai, it's Jung Ah~ Just calling in to see how you're doing without your friends, hehe~' 

Another text from 2 days after the previous one. 

'How are you these days, Kai-sshi? ~' 

3 days after that text.

'...are you okay, Jong In sshi? We haven't spoke in a while... Sorry if I'm a bother but reply soon, I'm worrying quite a bit about you.'

2 days after that one.

'Jong In, hi again~ Sorry that I'm such a bother but I'm quite worried about you. You know, I'm always here for you and you can tell me anything, ok? :) I really like you, I hope you like me too~!'

Around 6 hours after that text.

'please help me, I'm in a lot of trouble. I know that I've been such a pain recently and a bother but I feel that you're the only person I can trust and I really need your help, can you reply asap please'

Only an hour after that text.

'help, I need help, sorry please I need help' 

Kai gulped. He checked the missed calls and the voice mail; they were all from Jung Ah. Kai went to listen to the voice mail he got as well. 

He heaved a sigh as he tapped his phone screen to listen to his voice mail. 

Kai heard a door creak in the voice mail; it shut closed.

The panting of Jung Ah could be heard, she started to speak in a whisper, "Jong In... I-I'm really sorry about everything, but I think you're the only person I can trust and talk to right now, and-"

Kai was confused as why she was whispering. 

"Jung Ah!" A voice bellowed angrily, Kai remembed that voice; it was Daejung. "Stop hiding from me, I'm going to find you anywa!" 

It didn't sound like they were playing hide and seek.

"Ok, Jong In." Jung Ah choked, he voice breaking into tears. She sniffled and let out a sigh to calm herself before continuing. 

"I need to tell you something that I should have before, my brother, Daejung. He-" 

The door slammed open. 

"Jung Ah!" Daejung boomed. "Who the hell are you talking to now!? I told you you can't speak to anybody! And on my phone especially." 

Kai heard Daejung's heavy footsteps stamping louder and louder as he approached Jung Ah. 

"Listen to me! Stop disrespecting me, this is why appa died! Because of your ignorance!" Daejung shouted with anger.

Jung Ah started to cry; Kai heard the tears drop on the phone, echoing into the microphone. 

"All because of you, Jung Ah! It happened all because of you!" Daejung blamed Jung Ah. "We could've been living a normal life if it weren't for you, going around ruining everything!" 

"You're pathetic, Jung Ah. Absolutely pathetic." He spat. 

Kai heard some clattering before Jung Ah said, "O-Oppa... W-What are you doing with that?" She stuttered. 

And in a split second, a scream, a thud and a crash could be heard. 

Kai heard the phone drop from Jung Ah's hand. He heard the light panting of Jung Ah's last breaths. 

Then the, "Oh, crap, what have I done?" From Daejung. Daejung fell to the floor on his knees and sobbed.

.

.

.

"If you want to hear that voice mail again, please press 1." Kai heard the messaging service before he let his phone drop onto his lap. 

Kai sat there silently, letting his tears fall down on his face then dropping onto his lap. 

Is Jung Ah really gone? Kai thought. Was this really the end of a beautiful friendship? The end of a beautiful girl's life? A life which fallen through the fingertips of Kai? A life he could've saved? 

I could've saved her... Kai thought. But I just had to go and think Jung Ah was bad for me, she was a problem I had to avoid. Kai clenched his fists into balls and gritted his teeth. 

And still, Kai couldn't help her. He couldn't tell the police because he didn't know where Jung Ah lived, Daejung probably would've hidden her body already anyway. Plus, Kai didn't even have the guts to phone the police, his hands trembled, his whole body shook from fear and shock. Kai was useless.

Kai sighed. More tears formed and ran down his face.

So Jung Ah was really gone. It was the end of a beautiful friendship. And the end of a beautiful girl's life. A life that fell though the fingertips of Kai. A life he could've saved. 

Kai brought his knees to his face so he could cry into them. How unmanly of him. Such a wimp. Couldn't even face such a little problem like falling in love. And even after avoiding that problem, he got a person killed. Such a useless kid. Why should such a useless human being live on this world? It was no point of Jung Ah saving him from suicide. It didn't do any good. 

She saved him and what did Kai do when she was in distress and need? Let her die. 

He should die. Die. Die. Die. 

Those thoughts ran through Kai's head and now his mind was just chanting, "Die. Die. Die. Die, Kim Jong In. Die. Die. Die." 

Then a group of ambulances rushed past Kai's building, the air filled with the deafening sound of their sirens. Like things weren't worse enough. Kai sobbed aloud as the ambulances' sirens reminded him of his mother's death. 

And no one was there for him. Jung Ah was dead. Because of him. The EXO guys weren't there. He was alone like always. It was meant to be. Him to be alone. He was born unlucky, born to die. To die alone. 

He curled into a ball, hugging his knees as he wept and cried aloud for his mum. "U-Umma!" He cried, "What do I do? What do I do now?" He hoped for that soothing voice of his dead mother to give him advice when he needed help. He waited for the whisper but there was no response. He couldn't hear the warm presence of his mother. 

He cried even more, not even his silly illusions and imaginations of his dead mother were there for him. 

"Die. Die. Die. Die, Kim Jong In. Die. Die. Die." His concious said again. 

He shook his head, trying to fight those thoughts away as he curled up tighter into a ball. He sobbed. He cried. He wept. The voice in his head continued to chant. 

Die. 

       Die.

              Die. 

Kai got himself to slowly sit up. He wiped his face, wet with tears and sweat, then stood up. He walked to the door and he left the apartment barefooted, he strided down the corridor and up the stairs. 

Towards the roof. 

He pushed the door open, the same strong wind blew in Kai's face. The same feeling was in Kai's stomach. The same hesitant steps he took as he made his way to the edge. The same shaking and trembling in the hands and legs as he climbed onto the edge. 

He wasn't even doing this. His body was just moving all by itself more like. His head was shaking constantly and his eyes were shut tight as he made his way up to the roof. It was like he was possessed. Jong In tried to struggle out of this trance, but it just seemed to make this power stronger. 

He bit his lip as hard as he could, thinking that it would make it stop. With his lips shut tight, the trance still got him to speak somehow...

The same words from that very night. 

"Why's everyone so careless?" his words echoed in the wind, "....careless." 

Oh, my God. The whole thing is happening again, Kai realised. It's replaying. 

"Those anonymous notes in my locker, I just want to kill the people who wrote them!" Kai shouted in the wind, "...but instead, I'm taking my own life."

"Everybody's so heartless, mindless...no one cares about me." 

Kai took a deep breath before taking his foot off the edge. His eyes shut tight, as tight as they would get. 

Tears managed to sneak out though, they rolled down his cheeks. No one was there to save him this time, so he was going to die. For real. And for good. 

But then his whole body shook, like someone was shaking him. He felt a grip on his arms, shaking him. His eyes were still shut tight, he didn't want to face whatever it was in front of him. And he didn't want to look down either.

He struggled out of this invisible person's grip. His body moved side to side, then a striking pain struck on his face, like someone just slapped him. 

"What the hell!" He screamed, he fought against it. Another slap hit him, the stinging pain struck across his face once again. "Get the hell off me!" He yelled. "Go away! Get the hell away from me!" He screamed. His eyes were still shut tight, he didn't want to face whatever it was in front of him. He didn't want to look down either.

"He's still not waking up!" Suho slapped Kai again, hard. He shook Kai's body vigrously. 

"Maybe because you killed him." Chanyeol stared at Suho with his wide and crazy eyes. 

"Get...the...heell...awaay...frum..me.." Kai mumbled in his sleep, he slapped Suho's hand away weakly. 

The EXO K members crowded round Kai, who was asleep on the couch, looking down on him worriedly. 

"It seems like he's having a nightmare..." Kyungsoo observed Kai asleep, "And you're not doing any help!" He slapped Suho hard. Suho fell off the couch from the sudden and unexpected slap. 

"Okay, 'smarty pants', why don't you try to wake him up?" Suho challenged Kyungsoo, "I tell you, it's impossible. I slapped him three, no, four times. Hard. How do you wake him up every morning?" 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, "You just have to be gentle~ You have to have a soothing voice~" He said with a sweet and soothing voice. "This is why I'm a good singer." He added and winked at Suho, who scoffed and rolled his eyes at him. The others tried not to laugh at the 'burn' the leader just received.  

"Joong In~" Kyungsoo sang, "Waake uuuuppp~~" He tapped Kai lightly. Suho observed this method and just rolled his eyes once again at his dongsaeng. 

The vigourous shaking had stopped. 

"Jong In," A soothing voice called out. 

Kai stood still, "Umma?" He asked aloud, confused. "W-What do I do?" 

"Open your eyes, and you'll be fine." The voice said. 

Kai stood quietly for several moments before he (hesitantly) opened his eyes. As he slowly opened his eyes, a dull light peeped through and he noticed shadows casting over him. 

"Are you okay?" A voice out of nowhere said. Kai jumped in shock and sat up on the couch. He gulped, but then sighed in relief as he realised that it was only the EXO members by his side. They had arrived back already.