█ chapter 9.5 – you are your sunny, little smile

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=== Soomi's P.O.V ===

“Ah, I get it now, songsaengnim! You were right, knowing how to solve questions like these are easy if you break them down and stuff.” My student looked at her completed homework in utter amazement.

I laughed at her slightly exaggerated reaction and patted her head, “That's great to hear, but make sure you do your homework to practise. Put a star next to the questions you're confused with and well, you know the drill. See you next week.” I sent a friendly wink and waved goodbye as my student scurried home feeling accomplished.

Once she left, a heavy sigh of exhaust whistled from my lips as I plopped on the library seat. Now that all the preparations for my first day as a kindergarten teacher were set and that my last summer tutoring session was over, I was free to go for the rest of the summer. In addition, I thankfully had no more financial issues to worry about thanks to Minkyung's casting and my past job as a cashier in a bakery.

After a quick glimpse at the time, I knew that Minkyung was waiting for me back at HyunKi's apartment. Today was a special day for Minkyung and I, and if I we were to make it in time for this special event... I had to get walking. It'd be easier if we had a car to go around, but we didn't have enough money to buy extra things like that.

In fact, Minkyung and I barely had enough to support ourselves before he was cast for Hello Baby and before I got a job as a kindergarten teacher. I sometimes wasn't able to see him because of my own studies and work, which left him in the hands of halmoni, who was widowed and my kind next door neighbour for years, and HyunKi, my childhood and best guy friend.

The doorbell of HyunKi's apartment soon rang at the touch of my finger and all of a sudden, a loud running sound (which sounded more like a charging bull!) seemed to be approaching the now, open door. It must be Minkyung, how cute.

“Soo-umma! Hello~!” Minkyung called in his usual cheery voice. He was already clinging to my leg, which was a little annoying, but because he's so adorable and affectionate, I didn't mind. My head was always in a bliss whenever I was with Minkyung, as if all my worries just erase whenever he's around, and makes my calm life much more livelier.

I patted his head and greeted MiSun, HyunKi's long-term girlfriend. She was a few years older than HyunKi and I, but MiSun's elegance and excellent manners made the calm and composed HyunKi swoon. They were already living together for a long time and after seating myself in their well decorated apartment, MiSun handed me a bright, white envelope.

Minkyung and I sat across from the couple and looked at the envelope in confusion. HyunKi gently held her hand and smiled at MiSun before looking at me, while Minkyung played with the ends of my hair in boredom. “Open it.”

I did as he said and scanned the fancy paper, gasping in happiness when I looked at the first sentence.

You are formally invited to Lee HyunKi and Kim MiSun's wedding on 09-17-2011.

I smiled widely and ecstatically. “Congratulations! Really, congrats on the good news! You two totally have my blessings.” I gave the couple a big hug, surprising Minky with my sudden movement. My hands were now placed on my cheeks as I looked at the two dreamily (which probably creeped them out...), trying to picture them in wedding clothing. I was a secret lover for romantic things; be it dramas or dream scenarios, they never failed to melt me. Strange thing is, I could never see myself in a romantic situation.

I really envied MiSun and all the couples in the world for finding love. I can't help but wonder if anyone feels something for me. I'm a pretty positive person at times, but I can't help but see my own flaws: poorly raised, wasn't taught manners, and older adults never seem to like me. I didn't even have decent clothing, which often led to people saying things about my clothing choice. Especially with the fact that I'm independently taking care of a child, I wonder if anyone's willing to still love someone like me...

MiSun giggled at my sudden character change, then swished her hair behind her ears in one swift movement. She smiled shyly, “I was actually hoping that you could be my bridesmaid and that Minkyung could be our ring bearer. Is that okay?”

“YES! Yes it is. I'd love to, I really would. Thank you so much for the offer. It's actually been my dream to help plan a wedding. I mean, I was so close to fulfilling my dream in the past for--” I rambled excitedly. Perhaps I was a little too excited about the wedding...

“We know who you're talking about. You don't have to say it, it's okay, Soomi. We don't want to spoil the happy mood right now, so don't hurt yourself by bringing it up.” HyunKi's sharp eyes darted right into mine, electrifying me and putting me to silence. I nodded in silence and sighed, earning a warm hug from Minky.

MiSun quickly stood from her seat and walked to the glass kitchen table with poise, picked up a bouquet of white flowers, and handed it to me. “You'll be late if you don't hurry. Treat this bouquet as a gift from Hyunnie and I for always supporting us. And it's freshly picked from our flower shop, too.”

“Ah, thank you for this. We better get going then. Thanks for taking care of Minkyung, I really appreciate it.” I said sincerely, slipping on my worn out sneakers. “Minkyung, what do you say?”

“Kahmsamnida~” He sang in a flat, sing-song voice, clearly displaying his boredom.

HyunKi ruffled his hair. “No problem at all. See you, two. We'll give you a call on the wedding details sometime soon.”
 

“Ah, okay.” We stepped out from the door, ready to head back home, until HyunKi just had to belt out something I didn't really feel like hearing.

“Oh and by the way, I beat you.” HyunKi smirked, slipping his fingers into MiSun's.

I sighed and shook my head, facing the ground upon hearing his words of truth, before breaking out into a little smile. “Whatever.”

Nope, no, nu-uh, not this one, not this one either.

I scratched my head in complete frustration while I scanned through my closet. For such a special occasion going on, I literally had no super neat and nice clothing. All I pretty much had was jeans, tank tops, leather jackets, and a bunch of clothing that isn't meant to be worn at places where you need to pay your respect. My wardrobe was so out dated and I can't even remember the last time I bought clothes for myself.

Minkyung stared at me innocently from my bed as I raided my closet, all ready to leave in his pretty, modest clothing. I finally found a nice skirt (which was actually a part from my old high school uniform) and a pretty blouse given to me from halmoni. But seriously, wearing your old high school skirt in public would look just horrible and halmoni's taste was a little... not this century. Might as well ask Minky what he thinks so he doesn't get bored.

“Hey, Minkyung, what do you think of this outfit?” I held the two pieces in front of me, not really having any expectation that he'll say something nice.

He grinned brightly and kicked his little legs from his seat on the bed. “Soo-umma looks pr-pretty i-in anyfing!” I laughed, trying to make the best out of his encouraging words, and wore the clothes anyway.

We quickly made our way to the city's cemetery in silence. Surely, I got some dirty looks, but I didn't let it bother me. I was used to it anyway and I've dealt with so many hardships. Little looks of disgust was nothing compared to other things I've been through. Thinking about all those rough times caused an obvious frown to appear on my face, but with Minky here, I had to be happy for him and with him.

“So, since you've been listening to those new CDs from your Super Junior appas non-stop lately, why don't you sing me one of the songs?” I asked in attempt to lighten the atmosphere between us as we walked hand in hand.

His face brightened once he heard 'Super Junior' and then placed his finger under his lips, pondering which one he should choose. After a good couple of seconds, he started to sing 'White Christmas' from their recent album. Really, after so many listens at the demand of Minkyung, I was able to name almost any one of their songs in a cinch.

All Minkyung has been doing since his birthday was going through the presents from his virtual fathers. He was way too happy about having a father, that anyone would feel bad if they told Minkyung the ice, cold truth. I was surprised myself that he was able to get attached to them so quickly. Maybe it's because he was raised without a daddy that Minky was able to love them so easily.

Meanwhile, Minkyung struggled a little as he tried to fight his habit of stuttering. He was so into the song, though, and his determined expression to sing it well was admirable for a four year old. I laughed every time he took a break to catch his breath between phrases and about three quarters through the song, he started humming the rest because couldn't remember the rap and beyond. It was terribly cute; so cute that it turned the heads of people passing us.

And as if on cue, we finally arrived at the peaceful cemetery once Minky's long version of the song ended. It was a mild, summer day and not many people were making visits. We were on time, too. August 29^th, 6:27 pm. Approaching the gravestones of two special people, I held onto Minkyung's delicate, little hand.

My gaze softened as well as the tone of my voice, “It's been five years already, huh. Minkyung's grown bigger, hasn't he?” I said aloud, the palm of my right hand on top of Minkyung's hair. “Thanks for looking over us these past few years, but we're doing much better now.” I paused, “Y'know, I actually think I'm becoming a better mom than you are, Kyumi.” Chuckling sadly, my voice started to break down and crack, a little tear shedding from my eyes. “I wish you guys were here. I really miss you two.”

“HyunKi's getting married pretty soon and his soon to be wife is really beautiful. Can you believe he actually found a girl that would tolerate his annoyingly persistent behaviour?” I chuckled once more, a little less in spirit, and finished off with a sigh. “Truthfully, I'm wondering why I'm even here. Fate somehow brought JooHee back in front of me and I just can't forgive her. No matter how much I try to forget the whole thing, I just can't. Not after she put the two of you here, that is. Could you give me some kind of sign on what I should do?”

The silence which followed brought me back to reality, and I then directed my gaze at Minkyung. He was looking all over the place the whole time; from the passing squirrel, to the air planes in the sky, and pretty much any place besides the gravestones. The squirrels probably explained why he was unusually quiet. I don't understand his attraction to them...

But anyways, it annoyed me heavily – that he was disrespecting two special people. But it wasn't his fault, I guess. He didn't know who these people were and looking at rocks wasn't interesting to him at all. I figured he's at a good age where he would now be remembering things, so I suppose now is a good time to tell him. I crouched down and gave the toddler a hug, to which he hugged back in confusion.

“You've probably been wondering why we come here every year, don't you? Once I tell you who these people are, you have to promise me you'll love them just like you love me.” I spoke in a gentle voice, still hugging him tightly. He then nodded in understanding, causing me to break our hug so I can look him straight in the eye.

“B-but Soo-umma... those are rocks...” He looked at me as if I was a total weirdo. First I was talking to rocks and now I was saying people are rocks, of course he'd be confused.

“No, no! They're sleeping peacefully underneath.” I giggled. He totally broke the dramatic confession I was planning to give... without even knowing! He continued on with so many innocent questions. How can they breathe? Won't they get hungry? What if they have to use the bathroom? I didn't want to use the word 'dead' just yet, so I just told him I'd say the answer later (which I really wouldn't, since I would be hoping he'd forget about it by then).

“Actually, these people here are your parents, Minkyung. Some bad things happened and they were forced to leave you when you were still a tiny baby.” I tried delivering the news in the lightest way possible.

Minky looked back and forth between the gravestones and I before asking another hoard of questions, his expression stern and somewhat lost. I gave up trying to keep up with the never ending questions he had and released a tired sigh. “How about... I answer your questions later, when we get home?”

He hesitated, biting his lip, then smiled warmly at me as he took hold of my hand.
“O-okie dokie, Soo-umma!” He chirped cheerfully, making me wonder just where he gets his spirits from. But thanks to this little guy and his fancy, little sunny smile, I was able to remember the great, beautiful and special things about life. One of them being Han Minkyung.

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█ author notes.

* halmoni = grandma/grandmother

I hope you guys forgive my long disappearance ;__; I had a writer's block and in the end, I wrote a bonus chapter (hence the .5, hahah) I felt you guys should know a bit more about one of our main characters, so I gave you guys huge hints about the past and stuff .
Oh! And thank you so, so much for all the subscriptions T^T I'm so happy~ 106 subscribers for only 9 chapters is just amazing, thank you so much~

And to give you all a clue for what next chapter will be about... it'll involve Zhou Mi, Henry, and an appearance by SHINee's Key! :3

☆ listening to: Girls' Generation - Gee 

█ august 17, 2O11 ★ o r a n g e z z a n g __ !