Why did I do that? Because I really like her. That’s why.

            He wanted to kiss her though. He wanted to make her laugh and hold her when she cried. He wanted to hear her heartbeat thundering against his. But he had backed away. It was too fast. He didn’t want to kiss her like this with bad memories floating around both of their heads. The whole time she told her story she looked fearful and on the point of a nervous breakdown. He had struggled to contain his rage. All the terrible things that happened to her that he could do nothing about just made him feel useless.

            He wanted their first kiss to be something wonderful. Something she could create a good memory around for once. Not after a bunch of crying and confessions. Hoya wanted her to be laughing with pure joy before they finally united in that way.

            But why did she run?

            He realized as he stood at the elevator waiting for it to come back up to him that he had made a huge mistake. He had been stuck in his own thoughts. He wasn’t thinking about what kind of thoughts were probably running through her mind when she leaned in towards him.

            I just rejected her.

            Tears sprung into his eyes as he realized the gravity of his mistake. She revealed everything to me. She trusted me. And I rejected her. What must she think?

            She thinks that I don’t want her. Because of what happened to her.

            The sound of his gasp filled the hallway. What have I done?

            He had a feeling he wouldn’t find her in the apartment. He ran to each door and burst into every room shouting her name. He ignored the concerned shouts of the others as he headed for the door, but Sunggyu caught him before he could leave. He tried to get out of his hands, but Sunggyu was stronger than he thought.

            Sunggyu pinned him to the wall roughly by his shoulders before searching his face.

            “Hoya what’s going on? Hoya,” he shouted to get his attention. Hoya hadn’t realized how frantic he was all of a sudden.

            “We have to find Shelly,” he managed to say.

            “What happened? Where did she go?” Julia asked as she came down the hall. She looked as frantic as him now.

            “I don’t know, but she’s upset and we have to find her right now. We can’t stand around talking about it,” he shouted. He didn’t want to shout at Julia ever, but she didn’t seem to mind. She knew he was right. Sunggyu let go of him and then everyone was running around looking for shoes and coats.

            All eight members were dressed and out of the apartment in under a minute. It was dark out now. The dark made Hoya feel more anxious. Bad things were more likely to happen at night.

            “What do we do? Do we split up? Should we search in pairs?” Julia asked in rapid succession.

            “That sounds good,” Sunggyu said. “Hoya you should go with Julia. You guys know her the best and you can brainstorm. Try to figure out where she would go. If anyone finds her text the rest of the group.”

            Hoya grabbed Julia’s arm without hesitation and dragged her along as he began searching. He couldn’t wait anymore.     

            “Sunggyu’s right that we have the best chance of finding her, but I have no idea where she would go,” Julia said in a near cry.

            Hoya stopped holding Julia’s arm and held her hand instead. Her small fingers clutched his gratefully.

            They checked the only places they knew she had been. She had gone to the market with Woohyun. They weren’t surprised when they bumped into Woohyun and Sunggyu there. She had also been to the club so they checked there too, but saw no signs of her. Over an hour went by as they searched the streets looking for her red hair.

            Julia was deteriorating more as every moment went by.

            “She ran away from home,” she cried all of a sudden. Hoya stopped in his tracks to look at her. “Her dad left and her mom is a drunk. She ran away from that home and now our home. Why wouldn’t she tell me? Why does everyone keep secrets from me? Am I not trustworthy?”

            She was crying quietly now as she tried to start their search again, but Hoya stopped to wipe her tears.

            “Everyone trusts you noona. Everyone just loves you so much that they don’t want to worry you. Your heart is too big. No one wants to hurt it,” he said seriously.

            He knew she was still nursing old wounds from when Sungjong and Myungsoo were too afraid to talk to her. Hoya completely understood all along why they would keep their issues to themselves. Julia would make their issues her own. She would lose sleep over them. She would cry because they were in pain.

            Hoya hadn’t wanted to tell Julia about his relationship with his father, but like with Shelly he wanted to warn her of him before they met. As he expected she had been very upset to learn that Hoya’s father didn’t support him, showed him no love, and had even hit him on occasion. She had cried and held him. It made him feel better at first, but her knowing all that dimmed her brightness just a little bit. She had never looked at him sadly before that day, but now he saw sympathy in her eyes anytime his parents came up. She felt the need to protect him against things she had no control over.

            It made perfect sense that Shelly would hide these things from Julia. He couldn’t imagine what the information he just learned would do to her. Julia was too innocent and a bit naive. It was one of the things he loved most about her, though. He never questioned her heart or her intentions. Hoya completely understood Shelly’s hiding from Julia and he didn’t blame her one bit.

            “Is that really why? She didn’t tell me because she thought I’d be upset?” Julia sniveled. Hoya gave her a smile before grabbing her hand again.

            “Shelly loves you more than anyone else in her life noona and she trusts you. She just didn’t want to upset you. Especially with your wedding coming up. You’re supposed to be happy.”

            “She told you though?” Julia said. He could hear a hint of jealousy in her voice.

            “Yes, but it wasn’t easy to get it out of her. She’s stubborn like you and fiery,” he said with a smile.  

            “You really like her don’t you, Hoya?” Julia asked with a little smile of her own as she wiped at her nose with her sleeve.

            “Yes I really do,” he admitted.

            Julia beamed up at him a moment before she remembered what they were doing. “But why did she run?”

            “I made a mistake. It was entirely my fault. Don’t blame her for this please.”

            Her smile faded and she hugged him with all of her might.

            “Don’t worry we will find her,” she said firmly as she grabbed his face and looked sternly into his eyes. She had her leader face on.

            As soon as she said it they both received a text. It was from Dongwoo;

            We found her. The stage in the park. Across from the coffee shop.

            Hoya and Julia gave each other one quick look before they took off running.

            As soon as Shelly had exited the apartment building she realized she had absolutely no idea where to go. She hadn’t been to many places in the city yet. Her feet took her to the coffee shop. She had gone here when Hoya told her about his father. He had trusted her. He cared enough about her to warn her and he hadn’t wanted her to hide. But she had anyway. She ran away. She was always running away. She had no home and no family. Just this dumb coffee shop.

            The people inside looked happy and she didn’t want to see their smiling faces so she went across the street to the park instead. It was probably a bad idea to be in the park at night, but it was in her character to do dumb and reckless things. Why change now? She wasn’t as afraid though living in this country anyway. For some reason the darkened park looked inviting rather than scary.

            She walked through the park aimlessly for awhile until she found a weird little stage. There were two rows of benches set in front of it all in a line. She wished it was daylight and she could see someone put on a little show there. She could sit on the bench and watch and just forget about her problems for a little while.

            She climbed up on the stage and looked out at the empty seats. There was no one there to see or hear her.

            “I have no family, I have no home, I’m a broken, used up human being and I’m completely alone,” she said out to the nonexistent audience.

            There was no response.

            “I actually thought he might like me though,” she said quietly looking down to her feet. “I thought maybe they all were starting to like me.”

            “Well I certainly like you,” she heard Dongwoo’s goofy voice call out.

            “I like you too,” Sungyeol shouted as he took a seat on one of the benches.

            “Are you putting on a show for us because I would have brought popcorn,” Dongwoo said with a frown as he sat down beside Sungyeol.

            She looked down at them incredulously. She wasn’t sure what to do now. If she should run from them or stay. Their eyes were so warm and caring as they looked up at her. How are these real people?

            She was suddenly on the brink of tears and it only got worse as more of them showed up. Sunggyu came running all the way up to the stage with Woohyun only a moment behind. They leaned on the stage heavily as they struggled to catch their breath.

            “I told you… I was faster,” Sunggyu laughed.

            “You had a head start… Grandpa,” Woohyun gasped out.

            “I wanted to be the one to find her,” she heard Sungjong’s voice complaining before she could see him. He was strolling along holding Myungsoo’s hand like this night time adventure was totally normal.

            “Hey, there you are Shelly,” Myungsoo called up at her. “See Jongie, she may have run away but at least she isn’t on top of a carousal trying to steal stars like a crazy person.”

            “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Sungjong said with a frown.

            What in the hell are they talking about?

            “Shelly!” she suddenly heard Julia’s high pitched shriek. Julia and Hoya also ran right to the stage where they began panting. Julia nearly fell when her momentum changed, but Hoya was watching and caught her. Without a seconds thought he picked her up and placed her on the stage.

            Shelly was already crying before her cousin even reached her. Julia hugged her and pulled her head down to her shoulder firmly. Julia held Shelly to her as tightly as she could manage. Shelly had really missed being hugged like this. Before she came to Korea she hadn’t been hugged for years.

            “I know that you ran away Shelly,” Julia whispered in her ear. Shelly’s eyes widened and she found Hoya. She gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head.

            “He didn’t tell me Shell. I called your house and I talked to your mom.”

            “Y-you talked to her…”

            “Yes. I’m sorry I went behind your back, but I knew something was up and you didn’t want to talk to me. I’m sorry,” Julia said quietly.

            “You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one lying to you all,” Shelly said shamefully.

            “Just because you keep things to yourself doesn’t make you a liar. I don’t blame you for running away. I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you didn’t. It’s alright.”

            “You aren’t mad at me?” Shelly asked dumbfounded.

            “No. Nobody here is mad at you Shelly. We all forgive you. Right guys?” Julia asked towards the others without looking away from Shelly.

            Shelly watched as all 7 guys nodded their heads and shouted out positive things. Hoya was smiling when he saw her shocked expression.

            “You forgive me?”

            “Of course. That’s what a real family does. They forgive, support, and love one another. No matter what,” Julia said with a smile as she tucked Shelly’s hair behind her ear.

            “But this is your family. Not mine.”

            “You don’t want us to be your family?” Sungjong asked sadly. It nearly broke her heart.

            “No of course I want that. I would love to have a family like this,” Shelly said quickly. Sungjong immediately started smiling again. Myungsoo smirked at his boyfriend’s clever play on her emotions. Tricky bugger is messing with me.

            “Good then it’s settled,” Sunggyu said loudly. “Everyone officially welcome the newest member of the Infinite family,” he shouted grandly.

            They all started clapping and cheering as she just stood in shock. She looked to Hoya to see him trying to suppress a laugh. His eyes looked a little watery and glinted at her in the moonlight.

            “But I…”

            “Is she really still protesting?” Sungyeol grumbled to no one in particular.

            “It wouldn’t really be like her to just accept so easily,” Dongwoo pointed out.

            “Do you need more convincing Shelly?” Woohyun asked up at her with concern as if she really planned to reject them. “Do you want us to put on a show for you? I could cook for you again? Would that help?”

            “Yeah Shelly you don’t need to do chores even,” Sungjong said brightly.

            “I do like how clean the kitchen has been lately though,” Sunggyu said up to her sheepishly.

            “You’re saying… I can stay?” She asked down at Sunggyu. She didn’t think they could shock her any more, but they just kept on going.

            “You’re part of the family,” he said with a casual shrug. “Of course you can stay. Our home is your home.”

            “But there is already so many of you…”

            “There she goes again,” Sungyeol said as he pulled at his hair in over exaggerated frustration.

            “We are used to a crazy household,” Myungsoo explained with a chuckle. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

             She looked into all eight faces of the band members. They were all waiting anxiously for her response. They really do like me. They really want me to stay.

            “You guys are the strangest people I have ever met in my life,” she said simply.

            “Oh hey, this time it wasn’t a protest,” Sungyeol said brightly.

            “Does that mean you’re going to stay?” Sungjong asked.

            Shelly couldn’t take it anymore. She managed to give Sungjong a nod before she lost all control of her emotions and started sobbing. Julia was the first to hug her, but a moment later she heard the others climbing to the stage. She was suddenly being hugged by the entire band as they hooted and hollered like they just won the lottery.

            The amount of pure joy she felt in that moment made her knees weak. As they slowly backed away she found herself only in Hoya’s arms. The others jumped off the stage and started heading away still laughing and celebrating.

            “You guys have 10 minutes,” Sunggyu shouted at them. Julia stood beside him holding his hand.

            “We have a wedding to put on soon and I need my maid of honor!” Julia shouted loudly with a grin.

            “We will wait for you by the street,” Sunggyu informed them before dragging Julia away.

            “They’re so cute together,” she heard Julia try to say quietly to Sunggyu.

            “I knew it all along that it’d be Hoya,” Sunggyu whispered back; still not so quietly. “Leader’s intuition is never wrong.”

            Shelly was chuckling when she turned back to Hoya. He wasn’t paying attention to the leaders and was fixated on her. He touched her hair with a faraway look in his eyes.

            “They want me to stay,” she said with a smile. She still couldn’t believe it.

            “Who wouldn’t want you,” he asked seriously. “They’d be crazy. And so would I.”

            “You do… want me?” she asked cautiously. “I thought when you didn’t kiss me… that maybe… I was too damaged.”

            She still couldn’t believe that Hoya had any type of feelings for her. He was an idol. He was a famous y successful idol with plenty of options when it came to women. He could have anyone.

            “We’re all damaged Shelly. We all have pasts. All that matters is the person standing in front of me now.”

            His eyes were locked on hers and his fingers moved over her cheek affectionately.

            “But you backed away… I thought…”

            He shook his head at her.

            “You aren’t afraid of me… kissing you?”

            He moved in closer to her then. His intense eyes left hers as he leaned over to kiss her left cheek. He looked into her wide eyes for a moment before moving to the opposite cheek and kissing her there. She felt her face flush under his touch.

            He brought his lips right near hers and paused.

            “Try me,” he whispered over her slightly parted lips. She felt his warm breath tingle on her sensitive skin. Her body shuddered.

            She hesitated for only a moment, but it was a moment too long for Hoya. He brought his lips to hers gently. His hands cradled her cheeks and he caressed her soft skin with his thumbs. His lips moved over hers slowly and tenderly.

            She felt the same heat coming off of his body that she felt rising in her own, but they both held back from deepening the kiss.

            Hoya kissed her in a way she didn’t think he was capable of. He was always so strong and powerful, but he kissed her gently. He didn’t try to slip in his tongue. He didn’t pull her face closer. He didn’t roughly grab the back of her head and attack her lips with pure unrestrained desire. He didn’t kiss her like she was someone who had been used before. Like she was someone whose purity had already been taken.

            He kissed her like she was innocent.

            He kissed her like it was her first time.

            He kissed her like he loved her.