“Mother I’m sorry.” I say sitting in the parlor of her home, looking at me curiously I explain. “Love is a bunch of crap.”

“What made you change your mind?” She asks. We’ve had this argument thousands of times since my dad had left us; love is real you just have to find it, I had believed for so long until today, and what I now believe. Love isn’t real, it’s a bunch of ty hormones that get joy in humans being happy then swiping it out from under them for us to suffer more and more.

“Yoseob was…” I pause wiping a tear away. “He found other means of pleasure.” I tell her looking out the window. “The same kind that dad took part in.”

I can feel her gaze on me, she’s silent which worries me, she must have been waiting for ages to say ‘I told you so’, however, surprising me she hugs me close. “I’m so sorry, I thought if anyone could prove me wrong it’d be the two of you.”

Realizing this I let all my tears out and hug my mother, sobbing into her letting out all the disappointment, anguish, and hurt in this one cry, not just from Yoseob and the girl but also from my father leaving me behind. “Mom, do you still miss dad?”

“Every moment he’s gone.” She whispers while we sit there on the couch eating ice cream. “Do you?”

“Sometimes more than other times.” I confess. “Four years and nothing, five years with Yoseob and it amounts to me washing everything away in a tub of ice cream.”

“Did you really love him?” My mother questions me taking another spoonful. “Or was it just you hoping love existed?”

Taking a couple more spoons of the ice cream I mull over the difference. “I think it was a bit of each. I honestly fell for him, and I fell hard, but I was hoping we’d make it and he wouldn’t turn out like dad.” I answer finally; looking at my mother she nods her head.

“You know Jung-Ah, maybe you were mistaken.” She says trying to fix the situation.

Shaking my head ‘no’ and respond. “It’s sort of hard to mistake his lips on the neck of some girl, him removing her clothes and her messing with his hair as anything else.” I say bitterly.

“Did you do anything?”

“Left a note, I’m going to go back later and get my stuff…I don’t even want to fight him about it, I just want to move on with my life.” I tell my mother eating more ice cream. All she does is nod her head, completely silent.

Getting up I walk into the bathroom, to wash my face and then to reapply my make-up, I may feel like I’m going through the worst day of my life, but there isn’t a way in hell I’m gonna let him know it.

“Won’t you just cry later?” My mother asks leaning on the door frame. Looking over at her I smile softly, noticing her small frame, she’s still quite young, and she looks like it too…

“I may, but I don’t want to look like a total loser when I face him next.” I tell her finishing up the task at hand. “I’m gonna go get it over with, he should be done by now, and if not I’ll just interrupt grab my things and leave.”

Looking away from me she sighs. “Maybe you should try to work past it.”

“Did you and dad?” I ask her, I never questioned the divorce, I just took it for what it was; my dad and mom gave up simple as that.

“No, and I regret that, we could still be a family maybe if we had.”

“A broken one, carrying a sad truth.” I say walking down the hall and towards the door, wrapping my hand around the knob I turn to look at her, the sadness that’s over taken her being. “Mom, I’ll be fine.”

She looks at me a few tears escaping her eyes. “I hope so.” And with that I left my childhood home and walked towards the hell I didn’t want to face.

Chapter two (: I know this is a bit more angsty, but it'll even out soon, Yoseob and Doo Joon make their next appreance, well Yoseob's was  minor.

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