The feeling of her soft lips against mine was just so. Enticng.

Dara-unnie slid her tongue into my mouth and I moaned lightly.

It was so addictive I couldn't stop kissing her.

Then realization hit me.

What am I doing!?

No I shouldn't have done that.

This is just wrong.

I pulled away abruptly and Dara-unnie stared at me, confused,


" We shouldn't be doing this unnie. "


" What's wrong Chaerin? "


" I don't know unnie. This just doesn't feel right. I really don't know. We just shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry."

I broke off abruptly and ran out of the room.

This is wrong. For both of us.

I've never seen Dara-unnie in this way. Not like that.

But why do I feel so weird inside right now.

She's just confused. That's all.

Or am I.
 

I went into my room , bypassing Bom-unnie as she smiled at me.

I'm sorry unnie but I'm not in a good mood right now.


The last thing I heard before I slammed my door was Bom-unnie asking Dara-unnie.

" Dara, what's wrong with Chaerin? "

Everything, unnie. EVERYTHING.

I plonked on my bed, face down.

There's so many questions pounding in my head. It hurts.

The kiss kept lingering in my mind. I could still taste Dara-unnie's sweet lips on my tongue.

She's just probably confused. I'm such an ugly person. No one will ever love me. 

I can't even love myself.

Its painful. For me. It still hurts how I've lost everything. My charisma and confidence. There's just no way I can ever get it back. Ever. 

I've been so distant with God since then. Because if he really existed. He would never let this happen to me. I stopped praying. I stopped going to Church. I stopped doing everything. I stopped being myself.

But I still had the necklace that was given to me. The crucifix that hung from it. For some reason. I still couldn't bring myself to take it off.

I guess there's still something left in there.