I didn't want to let go.

Dara-unnie was like my warmth.

My pillar of strength.

" You're welcome Chaerinnie, I hope you feel better now, Pudong. " Dara-unnie pinched my cheeks and smiled.

I knew I could always count on her.


" Yeah, I am. I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I guess I was just being overly sensitive. I guess I haven't healed from it yet because..I still feel ugly. " I looked away.

" No Chaerin! Don't say that! Don't ever say that! You're beautiful Chaerin, you'll always be beautiful. No one can take that away from you." Dara-unnie grabbed my arm.

" It already has been taken away. Dara-unnie. I've lost it. I've lost everything. " I touched my scarred face. I've lost myself.

" No! You haven't lost anything Chaerin. Look at me. Chaerin, look at me! " Dara-unnie was almost yelling.

I turned around and Dara-unnie pulled me into a tight hug.

" You have me, you have Bommie and Minzy. You haven't lost us.  We're your family. Do you understand? "

I hugged her back tightly and sobbed into her shoulder.

 

Dara-unnie is the only person who has ever seen me cry.

 

Because she's the only person I can hold on to.

" I can't get over it Dara-unnie. It still hurts. So badly.. I feel like a burden to 2NE1. I'm not worthy to be the leader."

" No Chaerin, there's no one more suited for the role of the leader than you. Not me, not Bommie, not Minzy. You, Chaerin, you. Your charisma, your energy, your influence on our Blackjacks. No one can ever take that away from you. I know its really hard for you Chaerin but you're a strong person. I know because not every girl out there can say no to plastic surgery in situations like that. "

" I'm beginning to wonder if I should have accepted that offer from President YG. "

" No Chaerin! STOP IT! JUST STOP IT. What has happened to you? " Dara-unnie grabbed my shoulders

" THIS, DARA-UNNIE, IS WHAT HAPPENED! " I pushed off her arm and yelled, pointing at my scarred face.

" I know its painful Chaerin, but you gotta- " 

" NO YOU DON'T KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS. YOU DON'T. YOU'RE PRETTY FACED DARA, THE SMOOTH SKINNED DARA. YOU REPRESENT ETUDE HOUSE. I REPRESENT NOTHING. IM JUST AN UGLY PIECE OF WAITING TO BE CLEARED! " 


A stinging pain burnt my cheek.


I saw Dara-unnie stare in shock at what she just did. Her eyes were full of regret, while mine started to burn with hurt.

" Oh my god, Chaerinnie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that! I'm so so sorry! " Dara-unnie rubeed my cheek lightly but I shoved her hands away. 

 

She slapped me.

Uh oh. pretty angsty update. let's see what'll happen after this! Commenntttzzzzzzz thanks c: