I always lied

In front of my parents

In front of my friends

In front of everybody

I lied with this bright mask

Because by lying everything will turn smoother

No need for emotional conflict and I can get what I want

People tends to be weak with sweet words and caring acts

I lied those words and charms them with my bright smile

Then they will do what I want

It’s easy

That’s how I made my way to this agency

I work hard with my grades while searching for a student exchange program and did some persuasion to my parents to permits me going abroad

 Luck is on my way that the agency scouted me and tells me to take an audition

And so I did

I show my dance and singing skills, charm them with my appearance and smile

And I passed

In the agency, I tried to charm everyone to make sure I didn’t get bad treatment from other trainees

Just smile and praise them, most of them will act nice to me

Not all of them likes it but at least I’ve make sure that I got good backups

And now after patiently waiting and also improving my skills

The agency gives me a chance to be debuted

But I never expected to be debuted with him

Kim Minseok

My first meeting with this man turns to be the deepest impression I’ve ever had with someone

When I first entered the agency, he’s one of the first people I met

Visually different from other kind of skinny guy on the agency

Pale reddish fair skin

Chubbier than today, but it makes him cuter

His crooked smile and warm hand holds mine with soft voice that telling me

“Welcome and let’s work hard”

He said that without giving me the chance to charm him

And since then I always looking at him quietly

He’s a quiet one with a few friends

When people like to go party or doing crazy things that they think eligible for youngsters

He spends time more on training, reading books or karaoke with his friends

He didn’t even try too much to socialize

But people comes to him when they need someone to tell their stories

And he will hears them attentively and tells them the truth although it will hurt them

He didn’t have many friends

But other trainees respect him

And that makes me envy

He never needs to lie

He never needs the effort to bring people to him

I don’t like him but I can never bring the word ‘hate’

It’s like this man intrigues me

I want to see his other expression of dislike

Angry, disgust, jealous

Anything to ruin that crooked smile of his

When I called him Baozi

He didn’t mad

When I tell him I’m gay, despite that truthfully I’m not really gay or really have a boyfriend

He’s fine with it

I’ve insult him by telling his face looks like a mandu and tells about the things that’ll surely makes straight man shivered

And he’s still calm

Accepting those lies as a part of me that he’ll respect

How come?!

No human can be an angel

But there he is

Sleeping peacefully on his bed

And I’m here watching him with envy

Sometimes I want to be like him

Like a tainted page that wants to be a blank one again

But can I?

My page are filled with so many lies that I don’t know how to erase it anymore

I’ve made people to think that I’m the bright and kind Luhan

There’s no place for the real Luhan

As I continues watching his sleeping face

I start to feel drowsy

And finally my vision turns to blur, within second I’ve fall into world of dream

.

.

.

“han ….Luhan  wake up”

I feel a soft tug on my shoulder

I open my eyes and the blur figure turns into Minseok’s face accompanied with the sunlight from the window on his back that makes him looks shinning

Too bright

“5 more minutes…”

I pleaded while closing my eyes again

“You’ve asked for it 3 times, no more 5 minutes Luhan”

And I feel he shakes my shoulder harder

“URGH! ALRIGHT!!”

I yelled

He looks surprised

Me too

I never yelled on someone before

But then he smiled

“Good! You’ve awake, now take a bath, it’s better to eat breakfast before its getting cold”

Uh…why didn’t he mad?

Why???

Uh wait a minute since when I stand up and walk to the bathroom

What kind of witchcraft is this?!

“Don’t fall asleep, kay?!”

He said from outside

“….tsk”

And reluctantly I strip myself to take a bath

!

“Okay Luhan what did you say earlier?! Don’t say things like that!”

I said to myself with warm water pouring down to my body

I keep telling myself to put back my ‘Nice’ Luhan mask

Don’t show the ‘Bad’ Luhan