By 18, most of our classmates have already had their 1^st kiss and 2^nd and 3^rd and so on.

In fact, I could pretty much say that some are already experts on faces and swapping spit.

Still, I wasn’t getting into any of that and neither will Ji, he told me.

I wondered why but I was kind of glad that his kissing days are over. Not that I only want him to kiss me. It’s ridiculous to think of kissing him again.

I guess I was just selfish in a way that I didn’t want him doing things I didn’t want to do myself. I didn’t want to be left out.

It was our school dance; just another reason for most people to get excited about, another reason for them to go about kissing.

Ji and I came to the dance together. Him in a rented tuxedo and me in a yellow flimsy dress my mother picked.

We didn’t bring dates as we made a pact when we were 12 that if we were to attend a dance we’d go with each other to save the other from embarrassment of not finding any date. Good thing too because I was uncomfortable with some of the guys who asked me out and Ji complained of the girls who asked him being vapid and shallow.

The dance committee did a great job decorating the gym. There were paper lanterns and fairy lights and glitter seemed to hang everywhere in the air. The food was as expected not the best but the music was well-chosen.

Ji and I did not stick to each other the whole night. We danced in groups and with other people. But as the night went on, the songs became slower, the lights were dimmer and people started to divide in pairs.

Eventually, Ji and I were left in each other’s company. I felt awkward and out of place and was heading for the sidelines when Ji took hold of my hand.

“Dance with me?” he asked.

I let him lead me to the dance floor. I placed both my hands on his shoulders while he placed his hands on my waist. I remembered the last time we were close and I could almost feel a blush creeping on my cheeks.

The silence was crowding me so I tried to make small talk. “Have I told you that you clean–up nicely?”

“Thanks. But I’m nowhere near you. I thought I’d never see the day you’d wear a dress.” he taunted.

“My mom picked it.” I said. I was feeling shy. I’ve always been a jeans kind of girl but as the occasion is a dance, I can’t wear my usual attire.

“Then I have to thank your Mom for making you look more beautiful. Yellow suits you. It just might be my favorite color now.” he said teasingly.

More beautiful? Does that mean he thought I was beautiful before?

We were dancing slowly, moving in circles. But somewhere between the dance and the cheesy slow song and the air littered with glitters, I felt like I was seeing Ji in a different light.

For the first time, I didn’t mind that we weren’t talking; that the crowd has melted away and the music has died down in the background and all I can sense is his hands on my waist and his eyes on me. I didn’t question why it felt right to be in a boy’s arms, Ji’s arms, like it was made for me; like it was where I was supposed to be.

For the first time, he was looking at me something close to how my father looks at my mother. I didn’t know that I would ever feel happy to have someone looking at me like I was perfect, like I was his dream come true.

And if someone told me that the universe must have conspired to bring this moment about, I would believe them. 

“I hope you won’t be surprised this time, but I just had to try again.” he said, his voice thick with longing and earnestness.

“Try what?’ I asked looking at him, although I think I already knew.

He leaned in and tentatively touched his lips to mine, softly at first, and when I didn’t pull back, firmly and with the sweetest pressure.

The pull in my tummy has returned, as well as the weakening of my knees. Both of which I have dismissed before as some symptom of cooties or probably from running.  Then I felt that warmth again on my cheeks from last Christmas and even a tinge of the comfort and safety from when I was sick.

All those old feelings came rushing in plus more. I feel light-headed as if I were floating and tiny tingles have erupted in the tips of my fingers and toes and warmth is spreading throughout my chest. 

I know now that this kiss is different. It was so much more than just a chemical reaction, more than your average teenage hormones.

Because for some reason this kiss reminded me of the kisses they have in fairytales; The kind that wakes up Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, that turns frogs into princes and princesses into ogres.

It was the kiss that stirs up possibility and gives hope for a happily ever after.

I know he has kissed me twice on the lips before and then some but for all intents and purposes, I’d always argue with him that this was our first.

It was the first one I was ready for.

And as Ji prolonged the kiss, I did what I have never done before.

I kissed him back.