Luhan approaches with meek soundless steps. Yifan is casually seated on the couch, elbows on each thigh. He is holding a tiny box Luhan hopes isn’t what he thinks it is.

“Did your vacation go well?”

Flinching inwardly at the tone Yifan uses, Luhan mutters, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? It didn’t go well?” Yifan doesn’t look up while asking. He focuses instead on fiddling with the box in his hands.

“Look, Yifan, I…”

The sentence is left hanging as Yifan puts up a finger. He brings it to his lips, mouths ‘shhh’ and lets it stay there, barely brushing his philtrum.

“You don’t have to say anything. This time it’s my turn to talk.”

It’s more of an assurance rather than a command, maybe because Yifan’s eyes are serene although they lock into Luhan’s.

“Remember we had a sleepover in Zitao’s house the day high school admissions result was out? When the others fell asleep you went to the veranda and I followed you after some time. You’ve always been the one to sleep early, until now. I asked you what was wrong. You were giddy, you said. So happy you couldn’t sleep. I was surprised when you clamped my arm out of the blue and you giggled at me.

‘Aren’t you happy too? We’re together again!’ All the while you were grinning so wide your words came out funny. That time, looking at your face, I didn’t know why was my chest suddenly so painful.

It happened recurrently from then on at the smallest thing you did. I’d get jealous of Yixing and Minseok and sometimes, even Zitao although he had a girlfriend. I was confused; though I thought it was childish, I concluded it was because I’d known you the longest and didn’t want someone else to replace me as your best friend.

We were sophomores when someone gave me a love letter. The others I had received before listed why and when they began becoming interested, but in this one she wrote about how I made her feel. The last line of the letter was ‘I think this is love.’ – and I realized right then that I loved you. Trying to suppress it was torturous but I managed, for one year.”

Luhan lets out the breath he’d been holding when Yifan breaks their eye contact.

“This,” he twirls the suede box with one hand “I’m supposed to use it today.”

With his thumb Yifan opens the case, revealing the wedding ring fitting snugly inside.

“I’ve been thinking since you left me in the playground. I’ve thought and thought and thought and each time the decision I made would be different. I thought I’d be able to decide when I see you, but you were away. Then I thought it was settled, you had decided for me and I would move on. But I came back the next day, thinking that this was it, this would be my final decision.

I still come today, and really, I feel so stupid. I kept asking myself, why only now? Why did you say nothing when we had so much time, so many opportunities? Soon it became a question directed to myself. Why, when I never had the courage to tell you, couldn’t I let you go? 

I should’ve known when I take the first step to your house as the destination this morning. In fact it should be yesterday, when I returned for the second time… no, I’ve known it since that night five years ago. But I’m a coward, who ran away from my desire and hurt myself and other people in the process. I’m an idiot, who makes a wonderful girl cry and disappoints her. Don’t you think it’s horrible? Despite all that, do you still want to be with me? Because I still, love you.”

Chapter 3 here and I hope you're enjoying this so far!

@wow_fantastic_baby: yes, that's why it's five times of failure :3 and yes again, you're right, just like how it is in the drama :) lol that sounds funny already, I'll check it out when I've free time \o/

@Aliceinsujuland: thank you! I'll be waiting for your story too :D