Not meeting with girls for a while was a good change for Donghae. His relationship with his parents got better and he spend more time with people he hadn't saw in a long time.

Most of his friends were teasing him for his past relationships, but in the end they were all happy for him. They didn't mind Donghae's personality, but they all realized how he had changed after having more time to himself.

He used to do everything to make his girlfriends feel loved, to the point that he neglected his own needs. Even though it was him who people called a heart breaker, he also was the one that always gave his everything to the person he thought he loved.

He wanted to be happy, but he had not realized that he couldn't be happy while trying his best to make person he didn't love satisfied.

He never blamed his girlfriends for that, but deep inside he knew he couldn't be happy with them. Maybe for a while it would work, but in the end he was the one to feel guilty.

Sora perfectly knew that Donghae was as heartbroken as girls he broke up with. He was uncomfortable to talk about it, but he also thought they all were a little too dramatic. Sora knew that too.

She always was good at realizing small things. Like when her boyfriend was cheating on her or when Donghae did everything to convince himself he was in love with someone, she was the one that knew all of it from the start.

She also was the first one to realize Donghae and Hyukjae became a little too friendly lately.

Even though she supported them wholeheartedly, she started to doubt Donghae. No matter what, she didn't want her brother to end up being heartbroken.

She didn't want him to be as foolish as she used to be.

~~~~

Hyukjae wasn't stupid though. Well, maybe he was, but anyway he wouldn't let anyone hurt him or people he treasured.

He also wouldn't let his feelings grow to something inappropriate. He had a few years experience in defying his needs, so it wasn't new to him.

People he craved for were unreachable. He already got used to it.

Spending time with Donghae was fun.

All in all, he was glad that he didn't allow himself to anything he would regret later. Even though there was a tiny fluffy feeling he felt while being near the brunette, he did a great job at ignoring it.

It would be the end of the world for him if he allowed himself to feel something towards his sister ex-boyfriend.

He treasured Sora too much to make her sad or uncomfortable in any way.

She always was playful with him and Donghae, but he knew her too well to actually buy that. He knew that she wanted the best for him, but unfortunately, he wanted the same for her. Their priorities were slightly different. And he wouldn't lose to his sister, not even if it was about taking care of each other.

But he treasured Donghae too. He was glad that the brunette finally decided to give up on trying to find love. From the start Hyukjae thought it was stupid. He couldn't blame him though. Neglecting their own needs was probably something typical for both of them.

Anyway, it wasn't that he was in love with Donghae.

But he also knew that his attraction towards the other male was undeniable.

Donghae was good-looking and caring and stupid. Hyukjae's feelings were at the stage when you're not sure if you should push them forward and let the world end or just simply ignore and get over a little crush.

What he felt towards the brunette was still a very strong friendship. Maybe if it lasted for years, the smell of Donghae's worn out socks would just send him to heaven where he would be proclaimed a hero because he was able to bear it for such a long time, but since it was only less than a year, he just got all fluffy inside because Woah he feels so comfortable with me.

It really did surprise Hyukjae how fast he got along with Donghae. It was fun talking with him and they had many things in common, such as favorite bands, movies and so on.

Donghae was a really good friend. He had many crazy ideas what to do in the free time and conversations with him were never boring. He was just very nice and Hyukjae could understand how all ladies were so crazy over the brunette. But being good friend wasn't the same as being a good lover.

That's how Hyukjae explained to himself why all of Donghae's relationships were such a disaster.

~~~~

It was Donghae's idea to go to a swimming pool. The weather was not bad, but cold gusts of wind were enough to discourage people from going out.

That's how him, Sora, Hyukjae and some of their other friends ended up at the nearby pool, splashing around in the water.

The atmosphere at the pool was enjoyable as there weren't many families with little kids running around.

Hyukjae always had loved swimming. He used to be a sporty kid even before he went to school, so it was understandable he gained quite satisfactory six-pack. Although he was very slim, his physique wouldn't be mistaken for a girl's one.

Normally, every boy would be proud of that. No one wants to be mistaken for a girl. Not even Hyukjae.

But that single crush he told Donghae about was the one who made him insecure.

He didn't want to be a girl, he was sure about it. He was a very proud male and he wasn't into girly things.

He was aware that Korean society was a bit different than for example American.

Korean boys seemed to be more sensitive and didn't feel uncomfortable with hugging their friends or holding their hands.

Many people suggested him that he mistaken the feelings he had for other boys. You're just too friendly, they said. Even his mom sometimes mentioned him getting married. How the hell would he get married when gay marriages were unacceptable?

He was aware that maybe hooking up with a girl would be so much easier than struggling to live in a world where people like him wasn't accepted by the majority.

But he didn't want to live a life that wasn't his.

He didn't want to be someone else.

When he confessed to that guy in the middle school, he knew he wouldn't be accepted. He just wanted to experience it by himself.

He was never able to be as people wanted him to. He always disappointed them.

The fact that he was gay was bad enough. But you can expect that at least the homoual society accepted him. Not really.

He knew that being gay wasn't the same as being girly. He knew there were some handsome, manly guys that were homoual.

But why everyone he had met always expected him to be someone else?

They wanted him to act shy and have a nice, round .

With his abs and charming personality, he made them insecure. He was too manly to act like a proper submissive.

Sometimes he hated himself for being so not perfect.

But there he was, at the swimming pool. He couldn't help but to eye Donghae's body as the brunette carefully made his way into the water.

Hyukjae wondered how Donghae acted in a homoual relationship. Even though he knew that the other was biual, he had never seen him with a guy before.

Did his personality change dramatically and he started to act like a girl?

Or was he the dominant one who had everything in control?

Hyukjae couldn't help but wonder. He knew it was hopeless as he would never start a relationship with someone like Donghae, but he always used to think too much for his own good.

At least thinking couldn't break your heart.

At least he hoped so.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So, Hyuk doesn't certainly love Donghae, right? Right.

What about Donghae though? Idk.

I wanted to write about them at the swimming pool and instead I again started to write about Hyukjae's personality. Sorry.

Anyway, comment & subscribe babes <3 (:

Hope you're not scared with my continuous replies to ur comments, but I just love ya too much. Yay.

PS. Sorry for the typos & grammar mistakes, I know there's a lot of them in this story.

It's just that my brain ignores all the typos when I check it and when it sees some mistakes it's like “Oh, it's totally not a mistake! Go on, continue on checking, everything's perfect so far~”. So yeah. Blame my brain.