Show, but Don't Tell!

Let's Write the Night Away

 

Show but don't tell!
 
      I know it may sound confusing for a few of you (actually it's pretty hard to explain too), but really it's actually quite simple once you get the jist of it. It was something my grade 7 teacher had taught me, and to the people who have just heard of it; it was something quite hard for me to grasp at first, ngl. Because it's like; the whole point of the story is telling someone. wat. how can i shw but not tell, do i haf 2 dew an inurpurtif danze or sumthin.
 
Yeah, don't ask what goes on in my head. But look at it like this;
 
Personally, rather than being told what the personality of someone is, I find it less interesting than finding out who they are by myself. Sounds like an english assignement, I know, but still. I don't mind the character charts, but I prefer not to read them.
It's better not knowing that one of your characters had a twisted past. You know, surprise your reader! Don't put it under the character description! I really hate it when I read someone's background and they have something like "Has a horrible secret! But it's not going to be revealed until later!" Well, why don't you simply surprise the reader? Quality over Quantity.
 
Show but don't tell can really range from anything, though.
 

The description of a character;
 
No; He was tall with brown hair and dark brown eyes. He was wearing a chocolate brown faux leather jacket and a dark pair of skinny jeans to match.
 
Why don't you try to incorporate some action into it? I mean, that ^ is so boring! What is your character doing while they're noticing all of this? What is your character thinking?
 
Try; I brushed away his fringe to gaze into his dark eyes that made me so curious about him. What was he thinking about right now? He chuckled lowly as though he was reading my mind, before brushing off a speck of dust from his brown leather jacket as he took a step away from me. 
 
Notice how I didn't really add everything in there? Personally, if I feel that it's not significant to the story, I don't really need it. I mean, does the fact that his jacket was faux really matter? Maybe if you wanted to show off to your readers or something. Maybe. Unless it has a signifigance, I suggest you take it out.
 
 

 

Feelings of a character;

 

No; She was sad/I am upset, I don't like him.
 
Try; Her heart was twisted into a knot, clentching. It was hard for her to breath as tears began to cloud her eyes. "No," she murmured, hands weaving through her hair; trying to get a grip of herself. "No!" She shouted, shutting her eyes. 
 
If you were to imagine the scene in your head, you could visibly see, that she's upset about something, rather than straight out saying she's upset, am I right? Adding in actions can make a huge difference. 
 
Personalities, though this can really take a longer time due to the fact that it can't exactly be revealed within 3 seconds. I mean, everyone has a difference face. How is the character like when they're mad? How about on a daily basis? Around their parents, friends or other family?
 
For example, people tend to portray Zelo of B.A.P rather innocent and a lover of cherry tomatoes. So rather than saying something like; Zelo was a really innocent boy, and he loved cheery tomatoes. He eats them when he's sad, happy or mad. Really, he eats them all the time.
You could be like;
 
Regular;
"Hyung," The adolescent boy walked into the room, a cup of cherry tomatoes in his hands. He was a bit busy stuffing them into his mouth as he walked over to peer over the shoulder of Yongguk and onto the magazine he was holding. "Hyung," He repeated after swollowing his fruits, casuing Yongguk to jump up, and quickly close the magazine, shoving it behind him. "What were you reading, Hyung? Why didn't that poor girl have any clothes?"
And over time, you could keep adding Zelo eating cherry tomatoes at different times, showing his emtions and his love for tomatoes.
 
Anger; 
He angrily shoved a cherry tomato into his mouth, biting down harshly and pretending it was his hyung's head. Enjoying the feel of the juices spilling from the fuit, he was almost relieved until he remember what his hyung had done.
 
Sadness;
"Cherry tomatoes!" Zelo sighed as he picked one up, holding it up to the light. "you're the only one who understands me," With another he, he popped it into his mouth, chewing slowly to savor the taste.
The list could go on. 
 
By that, I meant having it been shown at different times throughout your story.
 

Introducing people;
 
 
No; "Hey! Get to the back of the line!" I shouted, pointing at the boy infront of me. His name was Junhyung. He seemed to have appeared out of no where and he had on his usual face.
 
Try; "Hey! Get to the back of the line!" I shouted, pointing at the boy who suddenly budged infront of me. He raised a brow, turning around, he seemed to not even recgonize me (or really notice me for that matter. Ha, what a joke, there's a damn line behind me!) 
"Junhyung!" One of his friend shouted, causing him to snap his head around. A huge smile broke onto his face, as he raised a hand to greet them.
 
That's usually how I introduce people in my stories. Try fitting into your character's shoes. Just because you know who that person is, doesn't mean your character does. It's just like trying to walk into other people's shoes. How would you introduce someone? You don't just simply assume they know who the other person is, right? 
 
Be specific when you are showing but not telling; as well as using all 5 sense, you want the reader to visualise it themselves. I'd say that's the whole point of showing but not telling; to let the reader experience it "first hand" -wink-
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travellingIdeas
#1
Chapter 13: same goes for me, i mispelled things. i once made a mistake where i spelled 'craving' but what i meant was 'carving' it was two different word and latter, until few chapters i realized my mistake and i was suprised none of my readers told me that.
and on the other fic i made another mistake (again) when i wrote a false description (in the desc, i wrote the one who's dead is the main character's older brother. but in the story it was the main character's younger bro) and again, suprisingly no one seemed to notice it (or just not even caring to tell me, or just plain ignorant. mehh, cynical me got better of me)
travellingIdeas
#2
Chapter 15: i admit, i have senteces like 'some
stuff like that' and 'and stuff' on my story. i will
be workin on it. thank you for being
such an eye opener!
-caas-
#3
Hi. I'm starting a shops list and I want to add your shop/gallery/list/contest/roleplay :
Read the rules, complete this form , put it in the comments box for this link and you will be on the list.

Author's name:
Author's link:
Co-authors:
Created:
Status:
Banner's link:
Shop's Title:
Shop's link:
Shop genre:
Description:
Author's Note:
Info you want to add:
Services/Packs/posters/trailers exp:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/802501/dream-city-shops-list-graphic-poster-trailer-advertise-shop-layouts-reviewer
namzUd #4
Chapter 11: I loved your tips.I just startes my first fanfic and I knew it didn't look right bt I didn't know how to make it better since ppl hardly comment.This helped a ton! Thank you so much!! Looks like I have quite a bit of editing to do...
fartberries
#5
These tips are amazing! Probably one of the most helpful advice shop that I've come across. Please come back and offer us more of your wonderful writing advices!
eusiah
#6
Chapter 6: Omg the zelo regular example omfglol xD

These tips are really helpful :)
MoonSungRa
#7
You're amazing!! I really love the way you write! You are so talented!! <3 I'd like to read one of your ff but I see that you have none! If you do have ones please tell I can find them, because you're the most talented ff writer I've ever seen. Usually I don't I don't read those kind of fanfics, but the yongguk one sounds great! :D Also all your tips are amazing! Actually I'm not an ff author/writer, but I enjoyed reading those advices! <3
MoonSungRa
#8
Chapter 1: Here you made a mistake! 2. N'oublie* pas le titre! ^^
Kawaii_Player
#9
Chapter 5: Thanking for the tips. :D