Two and a half years ago

“Again.” Jongin said breathlessly, still in awe of Kyungsoo’s performance. His boyfriend smacked him lightly on the arm, laughing.

“No! You’re gonna make me lose my voice.” He joked, sitting down next to Jongin and leaning into his side.

“I just like hearing you sing.” Jongin replied, resting his head on Kyungsoo’s. “Your voice is beautiful.” He glanced down to see the bright red color spread across Kyungsoo’s cheeks as he snuggled closer into Jongin’s chest.

“You’re a little biased, you know?” Kyungsoo muttered, a smile on his face as he looked up at Jongin, his wide eyes shining at the compliment.

Jongin didn’t reply and instead wrapped his arms tighter around Kyungsoo, practically squeezing him against his side.

“Just don’t forget me when you’re famous.” Jongin said after a few moments of comfortable silence in which the two of them simply sat, entwined together.

Kyungsoo snorted, pulling away to look at him, eyes wide in disbelief but a smile still on his face.

“Oh please, Mr. Big Shot Dancer. If anyone is going to be forgetting anyone it’s you. You’re gonna audition into a famous entertainment company and be the star dancer and then I won’t even be a speck on your radar anymore. ‘Kyungsoo? Who’s Kyungsoo?’” His tone was joking and he laughed as he spoke, nudging Jongin playfully, but Jongin didn’t return the smiles, didn’t laugh at the nudges. Instead he paused after Kyungsoo finished and swallowed loudly.

   “I wouldn’t.” He whispered, his eyes focused on the floor.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, leaning down in an attempt to see Jongin’s face, his brows drawing together in confusion, the smile faltering on his face. “Jongin?”

“I wouldn’t.” He repeated, lifting his eyes to meet Kyungsoo’s. “Forget you, I mean.” He reached a hand out to Kyungsoo’s cheek and loved the familiar way the heat pooled under his hands, a red color reappearing.

“I was only joking.” Kyungsoo said, a look of fondness on his face as he reached his hand up to cover Jongin’s on his cheek. He smiled reassuringly and then smirked. “Besides, if you ever did forget me I would kill you.” He said teasingly. “I would call you and text you and bother you until you remembered that I am your boyfriend and I love you. Always will.”

“Always?” Jongin asked, and he couldn’t help the bright smile that formed on his face as he looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“Always.” Kyungsoo assented, nodding his head.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

-

Present Day

Jongin rubbed at the back of his neck, watching from his bed as Yixing threw his clothes and belongings into a box.

“What room are you in?” He asked after a few moments.

“I’ll just be right across the hall.” Yixing replied, pointing towards the door. “Not too far away.” He smiled reassuringly, reading Jongin’s anxiety as reluctance to be separated from him. Jongin had to admit that he was sad to see Yixing moving out of their shared room. He was one of Jongin’s closest friends in the company and a pretty damn good roommate. But Jongin felt uneasy for a different reason.

He no longer knew how to face Kyungsoo. He was surprised to find that he was afraid of him. Afraid of what the older boy seemed to be able to do to him. The ache from seeing him only an hour ago was still present in Jongin’s chest and he felt that if it got any worse he wouldn’t be able to function.

However, a small part of him, buried under all the fear and pain, was happy. Wasn’t this what he had been hoping for these two long years? To be able to see him again, undo what he had done?  And Jongin knew deep down that he deserved it. Deserved to feel the way he felt. It was his own actions that landed him here, with Kyungsoo but not with him, not in the way he wanted.

“Okay, I’m gonna head over now.” Yixing said suddenly, reaching down and lifting the box he had messily shoved all of his things into.

“Oh.” Jongin replied, standing up, suddenly feeling very awkward. “Do you, um, want help unpacking?” He asked, following Yixing as he walked toward the door.

“Nah, it won’t take me very long.” He smiled and nodded his head at Jongin as a goodbye before he walked out into the hall and pushed the door open a few feet away from their room and waddled in, angling the box so he could get through.

Jongin smiled when he heard a loud noise and a muttered “” shortly after Yixing entered. He shook his head as stepped back into his room, sitting down on his bed once again. He closed his eyes and leaned back so that he was lying face up.

In doing so he realized how exhausted he was. He was overwhelmed with questions and worries and emotions and it was beginning to take its toll on him. He felt his whole body slumping onto the bed, relaxing slowly, as he sighed.

He was only given a few moments of silence before there was a small knock on the door and he opened his eyes to see Kyungsoo walking in, a sheepish look on his face and numerous bags in his hands.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?” he asked, making his way over to Yixing’s old bed and throwing his stuff down on it.

“Uh…” Jongin sputtered, surprised once again at the casual way Kyungsoo was acting. “No, no. I was just resting.”

“Mmm.” Kyungsoo hummed in reply and began pulling things out of his bags and placing them here and there. Jongin recognized the framed picture of his parents that he placed on his desk, the ratty sweatshirt he always used to wear that he placed in the closet, the small iPod, scratched on the corner of the screen that was now placed on the bedside table. Jongin involuntarily smiled as he recognized item after item that Kyungsoo pulled out of his bags. It made him feel as though nothing had changed.

Kyungsoo caught his eye as he walked over to the closet and his brows drew together in confusion when he saw Jongin’s smile.

“What?” He asked, pausing and turning to fully face Jongin.

Jongin shook his head, the smile fading a little under Kyungsoo’s blank stare. He put his face in his hands when Kyungsoo turned back around to continue placing clothes in the closet. He was trying to work up the courage to ask, to just get it over with. He knew he would either feel better or worse once he knew and this was what gave him pause. He wasn’t sure he could handle feeling worse right now. Although was there anything worse than rock bottom? Because Jongin was fairly sure he was already there.

“Um...” he began, his resolve faltering even more when Kyungsoo turned to face him once again. “Do you…uh…remember me?”

For a few seconds Kyungsoo’s face was blank and then all at once eyes shot to the floor and his lip trembled slightly and Jongin didn’t miss the look of pain that shot across his features before he answered, “Yes. Why would you even ask that? Of course I remember you.” His eyes shot up quickly to meet Jongin’s and then he turned away yet again, his hands fiddling with the hangers as he hung up shirt after shirt, as though nothing had happened. As though he hadn’t spoken the words that Jongin was desperate for, the words he needed. He knew he should feel happy, ecstatic even, that Kyungsoo remembered him.

 But at that moment, all he felt was confused.

~~Okay next chapter will pick up right where this one left off cause i can't just leave it like that :/

I really dislike writing a sad Jongin so he should get happier really soon! Don't worry! :)

and omg you guys thanks for subbing and commenting! it means a lot to me <3

@Blu3mist1: jbgb04iorgf thank you! <3 I always try really hard to make my stories realistic!

@anglemsiles: LOLOL yes i am always spazzing over Kaisoo too!

@kyungsooaddict: Kyungsoo's side of the story should come in soon! :)

Omg you guys you were all so sad at the end of the last chapter and a;skdposdjasjla I'M SORRY! It will get less depressing i promise!