Daehyun imagined himself by the shore watching the waves kiss the sand in a leisurely rhythm. The swooshing sound of each wave swept against his eardrums as he closed his eyes and entered a relaxed trance. For a moment, he felt completely at ease in his state of meditation, but it all ended with a light tapping on his shoulder. His eyes refocused and his ears picked up the sound of his name being called by his teacher from the front of the class. The ocean faded away and calming blues of water and sky turned into beige walls and black tables. The smoothness of the coast transformed into confined walls and squared off corners. He suddenly felt too constricted in the compact classroom.

            Standing from his square cushion on the floor, Daehyun treaded through the row of knee-high rectangular tables to the front of the class to pick up his test results. The eyes of his classmates as they sat cross-legged behind their tables stuck to him as he took the folded paper without looking at it and returned to his seat. He placed it atop of his flat computer tablet on his own table and positioned himself cross-legged on his cushion once again. Many of his peers continued watching him, but he refused to acknowledge their stares. Even more so, he refused to unfold that piece of paper, which held the basis for his future.

            He didn’t care to see the results because he knew he would find no pleasure in finding out how he would be spending his future alone. Of course finding a partner isn’t everything and shouldn’t confine his life, but seeing all of his peers already paired off and excited to live with their partners while pursuing their careers made Daehyun feel even more alone than before. School always made him feel that way, like he wasn’t where he belonged, wasn’t apart of that reality. He couldn’t find the proper words to describe this feeling; it was something created deep within his heart, something that clutched at what felt like his right atrium stopping all blood flow and leaving him with a throbbing pain in his chest.

           He couldn’t understand why his body would act this way. His vitals were completely normal and he was in top health, so these symptoms made absolutely no sense to his analytical mind. Early on, Daehyun realized that it was best not to tell anyone about it after speaking with his brother who told him he should go for a checkup. He doesn’t want people thinking he’s anymore defective than he already seemed to be. He wondered if this feeling had anything to do with finding his match, but based on his classmates’ descriptions of their own experiences, this was something different, something new and unheard of.

           “Aren’t you going to look at your results?” his friend Yoseob asked, tapping Daehyun’s shoulder once again to get his attention. All the results had been handed out and the students were given free time to talk amongst themselves and have an extended lunch break.

           Shrugging Daehyun passed the paper between his fingers over to Yoseob. “You can look if you want. I don’t care.”

           “Really?” Yoseob grabbed the paper eagerly, ripping it open as if they were his own test results. Eyeing the writing, he in a breath and stared up at Daehyun. “You got an All-Pass. That’s really rare.”

           An All-Pass gave Daehyun the option to choose whatever career he wanted. This choice had only been given to a few of the most intelligent graduates throughout the years. After viewing the test results, teachers paired with high-ranking officials created a committee and discussed options for each student based on their interests and talents. It was a time-consuming process, but it created the best options for students entering into the work force because over time, researchers realized that giving students limited options after graduation helped lead them into successful lifestyles. It took away all the confusion of having to choose for themselves. By creating a limited number of choices, these committees allowed people options, but not full freedom. In Daehyun’s case, he hadn’t had any interest in a particular club or activity, so the committee decided to give him the option of choosing his own path.

           “Oh,” he sighed, still not really interested. “That was kind of expected.”

           Frowning, Yoseob tossed the paper back onto Daehyun’s table desk. “You’re strange. Anyone else would be spreading the good news. This is a great accomplishment.”

           “I know.” Daehyun folded the paper into a small square before stuffing it into his blazer pocket where he usually stashed his mask with the intent to put it out of sight and out of mind. Yoseob was about to start up again, but Daehyun cut him off, by placing his hands firmly on his table and pushing himself to his feet. “I need some fresh air.”

           Daehyun left the classroom, looking for a quiet, secluded place to take off his mask for a few minutes. The outside stairwell at the south end of the school was usually unoccupied and the solid brick side rails made for a perfect hiding spot. Daehyun climbed up to the third floor of the four-floored school building. The overhang from the next floor kept him in the shade as he situated himself on the ground beside the exit door. He pulled off his mask once he made sure no sounds were approaching him and he was completely alone.

           The relief was instant as he took in deep breaths of thick sea air; the mask kept out most of the salty smell from reaching Daehyun’s nose. Tilting his head back against the wall, he stared up through the large gap between two levels of stairs. The sky was a clear aqua blue as if it reflected the sea below, except it was dotted with puffs of cloud barely hiding the glowing sun. Daehyun liked days like this; they were always the most calming.

           His relaxing moment quickly ended though. Barely ten minutes passed before his silence was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps approaching the door. He swiftly tugged the mask back on his face just before the door swung open and Yoseob peeked around the edge.

           “I figured you’d be out here.” He passed fully through the door and stood on the opposite side of the stairwell, back leaning against the solid railing. “Get enough fresh air yet?”

           “Not hardly,” Daehyun replied. “Is there something you wanted?”

           “Can’t a friend accompany another friend during lunch?” Yoseob sounded offended as he crossed his arms over his chest.

           “I was fine alone.”

           “Yeah, right. I know you well enough to understand when something’s bothering you and that display in the classroom was completely unnatural behavior, so talk. What’s going on?” Of all of Daehyun’s friends, which wasn’t many, Yoseob paid him the most attention and this was one of those moments that he wished Yoseob hadn’t noticed anything. He always enjoyed their closeness throughout school, but sometimes he just wanted to mull over his own problems without having Yoseob picking through his thoughts.

           “Nothing’s bothering me. I just wanted some alone time.” Daehyun was partially lying and being one of the worst liars in the world, Yoseob saw right through him.

           “Try again,” he said.

           “What?” They had a stare-off which ended with Yoseob winning and Daehyun trying to change the subject. “Do you ever think about how beautiful the sky is?”

           “Huh?” Yoseob tilted his head back, leaning slightly over the wall and gazing up at the sky.

           “It’s so beautiful, the color and the way it blends into the sea. It’s endless.” He crooked his head, smiling to himself thinking about it.

           “Well, I guess you could say it’s beautiful. But you know it isn’t real. It’s all a hologram made by diffracted waves and light pasted on the dome’s ceiling. It’s just an illusion.”

           “Don’t try to act so smart around me.” Daehyun frowned.

           “Well, it is what it is. It’s not the actual sky. The sky could actually look like something completely different and we would never know because we’ve never seen it.” Yoseob placed his hands on either side of his body, propping them on the top of the railing wall. “I like the way to dome ceiling looks without the faux sky. The metallic architecture is well constructed, aesthetically pleasing, and every bit real.”

           “Haven’t you ever wanted to see the real sky? To see past the dome?”

           “Not really, I enjoy living in the dome. For all we know, everything outside could be in total ruin. Why would you want to leave paradise for a questionable existence?”

           “Is that really your realm of thinking? You’ve never considered what else there may be around us?” Daehyun partially expected Yoseob’s contented nature, but a part of him was flabbergasted by Yoseob’s lack of interest in anything outside his own life.

           “Right now all I’m thinking about is your badly executed attempt at changing the conversation. Discussing the sky? The outside? Do you really think that’s going to deter me?” Yoseob shrugged, sliding down the wall and situating himself for the long haul, ready to wait however long he needed for Daehyun to talk to him.

           Now at eye level with one another, Daehyun’s resolve faltered causing him to tuck his head and stare into his lap. “If you know me so well, you can probably guess what’s bothering me?”

           “Oh, that?” Yoseob sighed, understanding.

           “Don’t just brush it off like it isn’t a big deal?” Daehyun said piqued. He and Yoseob had countless conversations about his misfortunes with finding a partner and over the years Yoseob had began to show less and less interest in the topic.

           “But I get it Daehyun. I’ve heard you blabber about it for years now, even more so after you passed thirteen.” They had spent numerous nights up, talking over the phone and passing messages through their tablets. Yoseob had been happy to lend his shoulder to a friend in need, but he was beginning to feel weighed down by the full mass of Daehyun’s problem. As a friend, he wanted to help, but in reality, Yoseob couldn’t do anything but listen and attempt to soothe Daehyun. It’s not like Yoseob could show Daehyun whom to choose because only something within Daehyun could do the choosing. No outside force would have the answer for him.

           “You don’t understand at all.” Daehyun was on the verge of whining.

           “It’s not the end of the world. You could still find him. Why don’t you just focus on choosing a career?” Yoseob attempted to speak words of wisdom, but Daehyun refused to accept them.

           “My career isn’t something I have to worry about remember. I’m set in that aspect of my life. I just don’t want to be alone forever. I’m already being cast out. Have you even noticed that most of our classmates don’t even speak to me anymore? They don’t want to associate with the defect.” By the time Daehyun hit fifteen and all of his peers had matched up, they began avoiding him. His intelligence had already placed him above his classmates early in school and as it became obvious that he wasn’t compatible with anyone, fewer and fewer people socialized with him, afraid something was wrong with him, something contagious.

           “You’re being ridiculous again?”

           “No, I’m not. You’re one of the maybe four classmates who still talks to me.”

           “Okay, even so, you’re not going to end up alone and even if by some chance that you don’t find your partner, you’re not going to be alone. You’ll still have your family and friends.” Yoseob grinned, trying to reassure Daehyun that what he was saying was true. “You’ll still have me.”

           “Thanks, Yoseob, but it’s not the same thing. You’ve never had to worry about being alone. You’re lucky. You’ve been paired since you were a toddler.” He laid his head against the cool rock wall to his right, sighing in that troubled fashion he’d adopted over the past few years, lips pursing and brows knitting together creating permanent worry lines.

           Laughing Yoseob shook his head and lightened the atmosphere. “Doojoon and I weren’t exactly set from the beginning. There were times when I thought he would meet someone more compatible and abandon me.”

           Daehyun listened in disbelief. “Yeah, right.”

           “I’m serious.” Yoseob pounded his fist against his knee in protest. “I was honestly worried that I would lose him. After I heard that a match wasn’t official until the unmasking ceremony and the first kiss, I just knew someone would show up and steal him away before we were old enough to pass through the ceremony. I was terrified.”

           “You’re just paranoid.” Daehyun almost cracked a smile at Yoseob’s distress.

           “But you know it could have happen. Doojoon and I had been inseparable as kids and then we started school and he was put into another class. I just knew he would get a proposal from someone else without me around. You’ve seen him; he’s attractive, appealing, desirable, enticing…”

           “I get it. He’s your chocolate cake. No one else can have a piece,” Daehyun said, cutting him off with an analogy that probably only made sense to Yoseob because Daehyun wasn’t in the mood to hear Yoseob praise his partner. “And just because Doojoon’s popular doesn’t mean anyone interested is compatible with him. It’s biologically engrained within us from the time we are born. Our partners are already chosen; we just have to find them. You just found yours earlier than most.”

           “Knowing that didn’t stop me from worrying.” Yoseob pulled his legs up, tucking his feet under himself and hugging his legs. He rested his chin in the valley between his knees. “Do you want to know a secret?” he mumbled, hiding a grin behind his legs.

           “Sure, if you feel like telling me one.” Daehyun wasn’t against any topic that would lead the attention away from him for the time being.

           “Well,” he paused. “Doojoon and I kissed.” A light blush crept up Yoseob’s cheeks.

           “Yeah, I know. We’ve all seen you two. You were first in line at the unmasking ceremony right after you turned twelve.”

           “No, before the unmasking ceremony.” Yoseob glanced up the stairs to his right and listened to make sure no one was coming before lowering his voice. “Our first kiss was when we were ten. We held our own ceremony. Doojoon knew how I felt and said we could do it sooner if I didn’t like waiting, so we made ourselves official without telling anyone.”

           “Yoseob, that’s against the rules.” Daehyun scolded him without much disapproval of his friend’s elopement. Everyone knew that Yoseob and Doojoon were going to be together; no one questioned it, so he guessed it didn’t really matter when their relationship became official.

           Yoseob laughed again, squeezing his legs and shrugging off Daehyun’s chastising words. These moments of confidence between them were a significant part of their friendship. Yoseob was probably the best friend Daehyun could have asked for considering his lack of a partner. Within the community, true friendship was rare because most people stuck to their partners and their families. That’s not to say people didn’t have friends, just that friends were less of a priority to family. Once student’s partner up and graduate, friends tend to separate, entering into different occupational fields or starting families of their own. Even those friends with the same interests and job appeal eventually drifted apart, losing focus of their friendships in favor of their jobs and families. As close as the community seemed to be, the atmosphere was still very much individualized.

           “You know how they say the first kiss in special?” Yoseob asked. “That it’s the most significant kiss between partners.”

           “Yeah, so how was it?” Daehyun had heard stories from his classmates as they went through the unmasking ceremony and experienced their first kisses. During their early years, the adults constantly reminded them of the importance of hiding their faces and saving their first kiss for the one person who matched them best. The first kiss was another symbol within the community. It signified the solidification of a partnership and should be pure and untainted. Stories told that after the first kiss between compatible partners, the pair stayed together for the rest of their lives. Their hearts would never stray to another, which meant couples were never broken and partners never strayed to others in the community. Cheating was an unheard of concept for those on Virility Island; this was something their forefathers wanted to overcome, having realized that numerous nations throughout history had been destroyed by unfaithful, cheating relationships. The creators realized they couldn’t remove emotions from the people chosen to create the new community, so they decided to give them higher morals and remove outside thoughts that could taint the residents, keeping them pure hearted.

            “It’s hard to explain, but I felt like we had connected, like we passed energy between us or something. I swear my lips went numb.” He grinned, tugging at his smile with his thumb remembering the experience. “After that, my pull towards Doojoon secured, like he was marked as mine. I even noticed that people stopped milling around him, like his appeal to others had disappeared completely.”

           “Are you sure you weren’t imagining things from the beginning?” Daehyun teased.

           “Of course I wasn’t. You’ll understand once it happens to you.”

           “You mean if it happens.” Daehyun was growing tired of everyone’s expectations and set attitudes towards what would happen in his life simply because it was supposed to happen that way. He was supposed to graduate. He was supposed to find a partner. He was supposed to start a career and become a working member of the community. These were all things he was supposed to do because that’s the way things were done and had been done for the past two centuries since the community was founded. No one ever questioned the way things happened or why people were expected to act a certain way and follow certain guidelines. Well, at least no one that Daehyun had ever known had questioned these habitual standards of life on the island. It simply wasn’t done. But Daehyun couldn’t help questioning why he didn’t fit into the standard.

           For a second, Yoseob thought about taking off his shoe and throwing it at Daehyun. “Why are you so pessimistic? If you’re that concerned about finding a partner, just ask a true-male who isn’t paired up yet. Who knows, he might say yes.”

           Groaning, Daehyun pushed himself up from the floor of the stairwell and dusted off his pants. “I’m not going to listen to another ridiculous suggestion from you. It’s a waste of my time.”

           “Oh, c’mon. It can’t hurt for you to interact with more people; maybe you’ll finally feel that special attraction towards someone. Besides, I really want to see your face. We’ve been friends for over a decade and I still don’t know what you look like behind that mask.”

           “Ridiculously handsome,” Daehyun replied, ignoring the other comments made by Yoseob. He twisted the handle of the door, looking back at Yoseob. “If we don’t hurry up, we’re not going to have time to eat lunch leisurely. I’m sure Doojoon is saving your meal for you.”

           Yoseob hopped to his feet, following Daehyun through the door. “I asked him to get you food too. That’s why it took me so long to get here in the first place.”

           “Well, aren’t you such a great friend,” Daehyun joked.

           “I’m the best!” Yoseob threw his arm around Daehyun’s shoulders as they made their way down the south hall towards the cafeteria. “And don’t forget it.”

           Daehyun would never admit it to Yoseob’s face, but he really did think he was lucky to have such a great friend like Yoseob. Hopefully this friendship would help him tomorrow when he had to give a speech to the entire school and most of the community. He still felt insecure speaking in front of so many people. He would definitely need some reassurance from more than his family members to survive this event.

So, Daehyun ended up whining and being lonely for this entire chapter, but at least he has a good friend in Yoseob. (I think Seobie would be a great friend for him and DooSeob are so married they just had to make an appearance so I could explain more about the whole pairing thing.)

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<3 Jae