“I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!” Paije squealed dancing with a dress she picked off of a random rack.

“I KNOW!” I squeaked even higher; my face was starting to hurt from all of the smiling.

 I had no idea that I had missed them this much. After the event Paije and I had kept in contact with a few of them; we talked to Teddy the most out of all of them. He would Skype us and let us give our feedback on any new beats he was working on. It heightened our fandom to hear some of his tracks on the debut groups at YG or hearing them being used on the practice videos for YG choreographers. Having that “in” always made us feel even more special; not to mention the rare appearances from other YG Artists. One time, after Teddy found out my undying love for Gummy; he introduced us over one of our v-chats.

“I swear I’m gonna kill Teddy for not telling us that they were coming! I mean did you know about it?” Paije threatened.

“No!” I explained. “I told you, I practically passed out when I saw them all.”

“Wait…all?” Paije stopped thinking about my sentence. “You mean?”

“YES!!!!!” I shrieked stomping my feet in excitement. “HE’S HERE TOO!!!!”

“SHUT UP!!!” She said her eyes bugging out. “How are we just finding out about this?”

“They don’t want anyone to know” I shrugged. “Like this is some TOP-“ I closed my eyes feeling the chills all over my body. “Secret…type stuff.” I said finally able to finish the sentence.

Paije shook her head pursing her lips to keep from grinning. “Still…in just a few short…hours…I’ll be dancing the night away with my Dae-“

I whipped my hand to her face covering before giving her warning look. “I’m serious Paije, no one can know.”

“Fine” She said with an eye roll as I took my hand down from . “I’ll give him a nickname for now.”

I rolled my eyes returning to the clothes racks to find a dress.

 “I got it! I’ll call him…Dashaun” she smirked as I busted out into laughter.

                In my head I pictured sweet and innocent Daesung as he magically transformed into this big buff black guy named Dashaun. My eyes were watering as I pictured this big black guy singing Try Smiling. I shook my head getting rid of the thought before groaning at the dress racks.

“Paije, I have no idea what to wear” I said sounding defeated. “Maybe I should just wear black?”

“Or this?” Paije cocked and eyebrow to me; she was holding up a short little number.

I looked at her dully. “Very funny but where’s the rest of it?”

“Nope…this is it!” She smiled.

                This dress was short. Like it stopped mid-calf with the zipper in the back taking up most of the length of the dress. It was a deep fire engine red dress with a square neckline. Other than the lack of fabric in the bottom of the dress, it looked safe but the color was just a little too out there for me.

“Just trust me and try it” She said shoving it in my face.

“You can’t honestly expect me to wear something like that” I pouted.

“Yes I can because you never do” she laughed swaying the dress in my face. “Devon! Just live a little! You always dress like you’re going to church when we go out.”

“Nu-uh! I always wear black or white!”

“Exactly” Paije laughed. “Weddings and funerals…all happen where? At church.”

                I made a face taking the dress to the nearest dressing room. I stripped down and put on the dress impressed with the quick transformation. Even though the square neckline covered my chest I felt more exposed because of the way it curved around my body shape. This dress made my body look curvy; instead of rejecting my proportions it flowed smoothly over them. I looked at myself in the mirror seeing a black Jessica Rabbit minus the watermelon sized bust.

“I think I’m gonna get it” I said through the curtain.

“I know” Paije said knowingly. “I think I’m gonna get this one”

                I opened up the curtain and saw her wearing a dark purple dress. It was the same length as mine but had a portrait neckline that swooped down elongating her neck. Her dress hung happily off of her curves as she shimmied in place.

Our mouths dropped when we saw each other and both exclaimed. “YOU LOOK SO HOT!”

                We changed back into our regular clothes before making our way to the front of the boutique to pay. We flinched slightly at the prices but paid just as happily once we were reminded of why we needed them. With our garment bags in hand we made it to my car and began playing my BIGBANG Alive cd. We were buckling our seatbelts and pulling out the parking lot in no time.

“You know what?”

“What?” I said stopping the car at a stop light.

“You haven’t gushed about T.O.P yet” she said suspiciously.

“Well that’s because I know how much you hate him” I defended avoiding the subject.

“I do not” she said innocently. “It’s just I think he’s a talented douche bag who’s completely full of himself.”

I smiled moving the car forward as the light switched to green. “My point exactly.”

“That doesn’t mean I hate him” she shrugged. “But tell me this…was it awkward when you two saw each other?”

I waited a minute replaying the situation. “Not as bad as I thought…but I was just so happy to see him!”

“Well what did he say?”

“He really didn’t say too much. I was passed out for part of it remember” I smiled.

“Oh” she answered. “Well I’m sure he’ll have plenty to say when he sees you in that outfit.”

“By the way Paije, I need you to promise me something.”

“Okay Devon…” she began. “But if it’s about me promising to censor my thoughts when talking to T.O.P you can forget it.”

“Paije” I whined. “Things are going to be weird enough without your honest opinion there to mess it up. Please…just do it for me?”

“No promises.”

~~~~~

“This world is too ing small” Jiyong laughed sitting next to me. “Out of all the hotels we could to stay at, we pick Devon’s.”

“Who’s idea was that anyway?” T.O.P said annoyed.

Everyone turned to look at Taeyang and he busted into laughter. “Yah! Don’t look at me! I was just as surprised as everyone else.”

“Well, you are the one who talks to her the most” T.O.P said annoyed.

“Not as much as Teddy Hyung” Taeyang said causing everyone in the room to look at me.

“Hyung?” Seungri asked. “Did you know she would be here?”

“I might’ve known she’d be in the area” I answered innocently. “But as far as knowing the exact hotel? That was pure luck my friends” I shrugged as T.O.P got up from his seat to go brood in his room.

“What’s with him?” Taeyang said oblivious as I got up to follow him out. “You’d think he’d be happy to see Devon!”

“He was” I heard Jiyong say as I trudged up the stairs to T.O.P’s room.

“Hey!” I said catching the door before he could close it. “What’s up?” He was glaring at me but I stood unaffected from his gaze. “Just say it”

“Why didn’t you tell me that she was going to be here?” He growled.

“Technically, I didn’t know she would be here-“

“But I would’ve seen her in the area…eventually!”

“Yeah that was my plan” I smiled taking the credit.

“Plan! Why? Everything was fine-“

“Yeah everything else was, but you weren’t! You’ve been different ever since she left Seoul”

“That’s enough!”  he said raising his tone. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Someone should talk about it! You’ve been moping about ever since you got back from your enlistment. Seeing her today was the most life I’ve seen in your face in months.”

“Get out!” Seunghyun said chucking a pillow at the door frame.

                I picked it off of the floor and chucked it back at him before walking back down the steps into the living-room.

“So…” Seungri began. “Did he say what was bothering him?”

“He didn’t have too” I mumbled sinking into a nearby chair.

~~~~

Paije was having a staring contest with the clock trying to make time go faster. Her face was fixed into a serious expression as she lay on my bed glaring at the device.  It was slowly ticking towards five when she let out a frustrated sigh.

“Maybe if we do our hair and make-up, time will go by quicker?” I offered plugging in different hair tools.

“I just want my Daesung” She pouted punching the pillow under her. “I haven’t seen him…in…so…long…”

I smiled thinking about the two of them while grabbing a facial cleanser.   

“What does he look like?” She said eager. “Like, how is he?”

“He looks great…really happy actually. Well rested…and he’s still blonde!” I squeaked on the end.

                Paije’s eyes lit up as I described him. We both agreed that Daesung being an icy blonde was the best thing since sliced bread. We both agreed that he should find a way to make the color permanent.

“They all so good, like it’s not even funny” I said applying the cleanser to my face. “Like GD, isn’t pink anymore; his hair is like a marigold blonde and he somehow pulls it off a lot better than T.O.P’s Johnny Bravo.”

“Seungri and Taeyang?”

“They look the same too, except Seungri is still rocking his buzzed Vulcan haircut. Taeyang I think might’ve gone back to the cornrows!”

“SHUT UP!” Paije squealed.

“I know he’s so thugged out it’s glorious!” I gushed splashing water to my face.

“Okay and what about T.O.P?”

I took in a deep breath before answering. “He looks good too. His hair is honey brown again so-”

“You know? Based on your lack of energy I really don’t think he’s with them” Paije laughed.

                I laughed weakly drying off my face before beginning to apply my make-up. Honestly when it came to T.O.P I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel. Was I happy to see him? Absolutely! He was safe and sound and free from the military, how could I not be happy. And just seeing his face proved even more that Hyun Joong was right.

 (FLASHBACK)

“Devon…we can’t be together anymore.”

                I felt my face frown up. Where was this coming from? We were great together, weren’t we? I mean our relationship had grown over the past year or so. My simple crush for Hyun Joong had turned into something bigger. My love for him had matured from a simple lovesick fan to something stable and serious. Unlike my original thought, the distance had proven to be no problem for us. We both had made an effort to see each other as often as possible. He would try to schedule frequent stops to the United States for meetings and concerts, which meant that Paije and I were traveling out to L.A whenever possible. When he would visit New York, we’d meet each other in the city and spend bittersweet moments with each other experiencing the night life. We were going strong and even with his decision to enlist earlier than planned I was willing to wait for him.

“I am so confused” I said sitting up on my bed in my room.

                He was taking a night flight back to Seoul when we were both just relaxing at my house letting the day unwind. It was like four in the afternoon and I thought we were just going to enjoy each other’s company until he sprung this on me.

“We” he sat up with me pushing a strand of hair out of my face. “Need to break up.”

As I always I was now tilting my head in confusion. “Why?”

He smiled his perfect smile and grabbed my hand. “You don’t love me.”

My eyes bugged out as I tried to figure out how to word my feelings. “What the hell do you mean I don’t love you?!”

He busted out in laughter. “Devon-”

“I’m here with you right now! That proves I love you!” My tone was raising a little.

                What was he not getting? Of course I loved him! How could I be this close to him and allow him to kiss me the way he does if I didn’t love him? He was being absurd!  

“I love everything about you! You are the sweetest man I’ve ever known, and you make me feel safe and protected. You’re beautiful, and kind and-and- HOW CAN YOU THINK I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”

“Devon, you love me yes but-“

“But what?!” I shrieked.

“You’re not… in love” he said slowly. “At least not with me.”

I was looking at him feeling the serious expression spreading across my face. I wasn’t thinking, and I sprung myself at him grabbing his face to kiss him. I kissed him hard and deeply, trying to change his mind about us splitting up. My mouth was making it down his jaw-line before working it’s way up to his ear lobe where I tugged it lightly with my teeth. I knew he liked that and for a second I thought that I had won. We were going to stay together and this nonsense about not being in love with him would just vanish.

“My mind still hasn’t changed” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice as I legit froze. “It’s okay Dev…I tried.”

“Tried?” I said pushing myself away from him. “Tried what?”

“I tried to make you forget him, but-”

“What are you talking about? You’re the only one I’ve been-”

                He reached behind me to get something off of my nightstand. The small pristine white envelope with my scribbled writing was softly teetering in his hand.

“You read it?” I said flatly.

He nodded. “I love you Devon, even enough to leave you.”

“But I don’t want you too” I practically whined tearing up.

“We had our time” he said softly grabbing my face. “I want you happy-”

“I am happy!” I said firmly trying to keep my hold on him.

“Then…I want you so happy you can’t stand it” Hyun Joong sighed.

“Then… marry me?” I said totally serious but he laughed.

“Devon, you are clearly in love with him. Your letters shout your feelings loudly” he smiled. “I tried to change your mind, but your heart knows who it wants.”

“My heart wants you” I was practically pleading.

“Not according to this” he waved the letter in front of me.

“You are so important in my life! I can’t stand losing you” I added sniffling.

He brought me into a warm hug before kissing the top of my head. “I’m not stepping out of your life…I’m stepping aside.”

 (End of Flashback)

                Even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, I was still totally in love with T.O.P. And today had made it abundantly clear. My entire being caught fire when I saw him. He was the most important thing to me, and even though I had him for a short period, I chose another guy over him. How was I supposed to approach him? What do you say after that?

“Devon?! Keep day dreaming, your making time go a lot faster” Paije yelled curling her hair.

“OMG what time is it?!”

“5:45!”

“Damn!” I said noticing how far little I had been on applying my make-up.

                I hurried trying to do it quickly but in a relaxed fashion. I made my eyes pop with a darker eye-liner and a thick coat of mascara. My eye shadows complimented the rest of my face with the gold and bronze tones. Instead of causing more attention to my appearance I kept a neutral base for my lips instead of listening to Paije and using a bright lipstick color. I began taking random chunks of my hair wrapping them around a warm heat iron letting the curls form.

“6:15!!!!” Paije squealed stepping out of the shower.

I pranced to the bedroom door where our dresses were hanging up still in the garment bags. I pulled mine off the hanger and stepped into it sliding it easily over my body. I was making my way over to the closet to find my shoes.

“Flats or heels?” I asked Paije who was putting on her dress as well; her layered blonde hair was full of volume and gently swaying in front of her face.

“Put on your heels, we won’t be on our feet too long” Paije said innocently but two seconds later we were laughing at the double meaning. “You know what I mean…but on second thought maybe you should do flats.”

“Nah I’ll do heels…T.O.P likes a girl in heels remember?” I said raising my eyebrows.

                   In no time at all we were walking down the steps of my house heading towards my car. It was a little after 6:30 when we were pulling out of my driveway. We were bobbing our heads to the music practically bouncing from excitement in the seats. I swear I was practically speeding to the hotel parking in the familiar area in the back.

“Devon!” I heard Greg shout from the Pool. “Whoa! You look amazing!”

“Thank you! Thank you!” I said spinning around to give him a full view.

“Yeah I was talking to Paije” he teased. “She looks incredible.”

“Eat your heart out” Paije smiled.  

“Ha. Ha. Very funny” I answered rolling my eyes. “But she does look good.”

“Just kidding” Greg said stretching at the sign in table. “I still say you guys are too dolled up just to meet a couple of foreign guys.”

“Later Greg” I exaggerated walking away linking arms with Paije.

                We entered the lobby and the hotel seemed more magical than ever. We were grinning from ear to ear as we waited to the side of the entrance. We anxiously watched the elevator doors open and close carrying different passengers to their floors. I looked at my clock and it read 7:02. The elevator doors opened up and I could feel my face rise in excitement. My breathing became a little ragged before I could realize that instead of BIGBANG it was an elderly couple.

“Uh…Ladies?” I heard G-Dragon’s voice. “Over here.”

~~~~

okay so sorry for being on a hiatus but i just got settled back at school, hopefully i will be able to give you guys another update really soon...events are going to start moving a little more quickly.

thanks for your patience, much love, pce!