He was torn between questioning the Captain and stuffing his face with the French toast that was currently molesting his eyes. On the one hand, he really needed answers. On the other hand, he felt like he’d be going cannibal in about thirty seconds if he didn’t get something in his stomach right now. Deciding that it would be easier to talk if he didn’t eat everyone around him, he dug into his food vigorously.

“Yah Seunghyun, did you forget your table manners too?” Seungri asked with a smile as he swatted him on the back of the head. He felt himself blush as he glared in response, but he slowed himself. It struck him as strange how easy it was to accept the name he’d been given. Natural even.

“Leave him alone,” the Captain said quietly from the head of the table as he pushed his food around on his plate. “He hasn’t eaten a real meal in three days. I think we can all understand if he isn’t Mr. Table Etiquette right now.”

Seunghyun swallowed the food in his mouth and washed it down with a small sip of orange juice, regretting that he’d spilled most of it on the table. “What happened? What do you know about me?” He watched the Captain fixedly, cataloging the way Jiyong wouldn’t meet his gaze and hadn’t eaten anything from his plate.

Jiyong rubbed the back of his neck and stared out at the sea, squinting slightly as the sun glared off the water, lost in a distant memory. “When I found you, you were passed out face down in the sand on a beach. I brought you on board so that Seungri could look at your head.” He sighed and fiddled with the loose thread at the edge of the table cloth. “You woke up three times, only for a few seconds, but each time you would fight like a rabid beast. Completely out of your mind. I asked Taeyang and Daesung to tie you up in the kitchen so you wouldn’t hurt yourself or anyone else. Obviously, that didn’t work.”

“He was like a ninja!” Daesung laughed, his eyes disappearing into crescents as he smiled. Jiyong gave a little half smile.

Seunghyun frowned unhappily. “That’s it? You don’t know anything else about me?”

“No.”

He stood up from the table, nearly knocking his chair over in the process, and paced the deck angrily. What the hell? What was he supposed to do? The only person that might’ve been able to help him regain his memories turned out to be just as unhelpful as everyone else. He pulled at his hair in frustration. He picked his glass up and threw it as hard as he could into the sea with a shout. He was immensely dissatisfied with the tiny splash it made as it hit the water.

“What the man?” Taeyang yelled. He stood up, looking ready to physically restrain him if necessary. Seunghyun laughed inwardly as adrenaline coursed through his veins. His skin burned, his fists itched to punch something, anything, just to distract himself from the big gaping chasm of emptiness threatening to overwhelm him.

“What’re you going to do? Hit me?” Seunghyun sneered down at Taeyang.

Taeyang flinched; he looked hurt like his best friend had just kicked him in the heart. Seunghyun was surprised to feel a pang of guilt for having caused the sad look on the man’s face. He pushed aside the feeling and focused on the anger fueling him. “Are you going to hit me or stand there like a scared little boy?”

“Whatever, .” Taeyang shook his head sadly and turned away.

Seunghyun felt awful for being such a . Yeah, he didn’t know the guy, but so far Taeyang had only helped him. The shame just made him even more pissed off. He spun around and kicked the railing hard. Over and over again he kicked it as tears stung at the back of his eyes.  He just wanted to know who he was, damn it! He raised his fist, ready to punch the hard metal railing until his knuckles bled when someone grabbed his arm.

Strong hands pulled him around, and warm arms wrapped around him in a vice like grip. He struggled for a few moments, panting heavily, but he couldn’t pull away. He stopped fighting it and melted against the feverish heat of the body holding him. A delicate hand pulled Seunghyun’s head down so his face was buried against a smooth neck and a soft hand smoothed down his hair comfortingly.

“Shhh… Everything will be okay, Seunghyun. Everything will be fine. Shhh…” Jiyong whispered softly against his ear. Seunghyun felt tears sliding out of his eyes, and shuddering gasps racked through his body. He clung desperately to the Captain like a lifeline. He felt like he was broken and drowning and clutched at the shirt in his hands; it was the only thing holding him above the surface.

They stood there like that for awhile, until Seunghyun felt his tears drying up and calm began to settle over his body. He felt exhausted physically and emotionally. And his toes really ing hurt from kicking the railing. Awkwardly, he pulled out of the safe haven of Jiyong’s arms and wiped the snot off his face with the back of his hand as he stared at his shoes.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jiyong said with a smile. He reached up and ruffled Seunghyun’s hair and then walked back to the table to push in his chair. Seunghyun stared after him feeling more than actually knowing that as nice as Jiyong’s smile had been, it wasn’t as bright as it once was. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out why his mind seemed to think he knew anything about Jiyong’s facial expressions.

“Taeyang and Dae, meet me in the study in five minutes so we can get ready,” Jiyong said authoritatively. Taeyang and Daesung agreed with excited smiles and headed down the stairs. “Seungri, could you please take Seunghyun to his room and check him over? I want you to make sure he hasn’t broken any toes, and he should probably rest. Then join us in the study.” The Captain gave Seungri a meaningful look, and Seunghyun glanced between them in confusion.

Seungri nodded and wiped his mouth delicately with a cloth napkin as he stood from the table. “Don’t worry about it, Ji. I’ll take care of it.” He held Seunghyun’s elbow and guided him back down the stairs, past the three dark wooden doors, and into his room. The soft blue walls calmed him somewhat as he was led to the bed.

“What’s going on?” he asked stupidly, feeling fuzzy from his emotional outburst.

“I’m just checking to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself while you were being an idiot,” Seungri said distractedly as he removed Seunghyun’s shoes and began bending his toes. His hissed in pain as his pinky toe was touched. Seungri sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face in frustration. “Looks like you broke your toe, genius. I hope living with the pain teaches you a lesson because there’s nothing I can do for it.”

Seunghyun pouted, and his face burned in embarrasment and shame.

“Here, take these and maybe it’ll help.” Seungri handed him two Tylenol and a glass of water, watching like a worried mother as he swallowed them down. “Good. Now you should go to sleep for awhile, and I’ll give you more Tylenol when you wake up.”

“But I’m not- ahh- tired,” Seunghyun complained, surprised when he yawned halfway through. He blinked wearily, his eyes feeling much heavier than they did just moments ago. “Did you drug me?”

“What? No! What kind of jerk do you think I am? Now sleep.”

“Bu-” he began. He was going to tell Seungri that he really wasn’t tired, and he didn’t need rest. He wanted to know what everyone else was doing. What were they getting ready for? But his eyes had drifted shut almost immediately after Seungri told him to sleep, and he could distantly hear the door shut.

Even in his dream he was aware of the fact that he didn’t want to be asleep, and he was really beginning to hate how everything always ended up that way.