The flames have finally subsided. At least that’s what Yoona thinks. Although it’s still not a good time—with Donghae’s current girlfriend discovering them in an embrace—Yoona doesn’t need to worry about him anymore.

She’s happy.

Happy that the ‘thing’ between her and Donghae have been cleared out. To be frank, the scars in Yoona’s heart are still recovering. It isn’t easy. First love isn’t always easy to forget. There are times when she regrets making the decision to be with him. There are also times when she’s grateful to have him.

After everything that has happened to her, she realizes two things. One, things don’t always end the way you want it to be.

But even though the thing with Donghae has stopped, Yoona has another problem.

It’s been days since the last time Luhan phoned her. They usually talk for hours, preferably at night until twelve in the midnight, about random things. She doesn’t know why or how it started but she likes it.

She likes the fact that she feels comfortable around him, that she doesn’t have to hide anything or pretend to be someone else in front of him. But there are still few things Yoona didn’t tell Luhan. Donghae is one of them.

But right now she is.

She wants to. Because apart from telling Luhan the truth, Yoona has decided to tell him everything.

Just like what she realized from her past relationship with Donghae, she has realized another important thing, too. She doesn’t have to stop loving just because she was hurt once.

Yoona tilts her head to the side and softly glances at Nana who looks as though she’s sleeping. A small smile creeps on her face. “Nana, I think I like Lu Han,” she whispers. And habitually, Nana’s ears prick up and she would trudge to where Yoona is, rubbing her cheeks against her leg.

But Nana doesn’t move. In fact, her ears don’t move. Yoona stares at her. Somehow, there’s this cold, abandoned feeling emerging in the pit of her stomach. She feels… rather strange, as though something cold has resided in her.

“…Nana?”

Nana doesn’t respond. Nana looks so… lifeless.

And the second thing she realizes?

When you least expect it to happen, it actually happens.

“So, what do you like doing whenever you’re free?”

“I like to take pictures.”

“Of what?”

“Of anything.”

“So, is it a hobby? Or is it your job or something?”

“Somewhere between being a hobby and a job.”

Lu Han looks down, fiddling with his fingers. He’s bored and he desperately wants to go home. He doesn’t even want to be here in the first place. He’s only forced to come as a favor for Tiffany.

Seohyun is a nice person, Lu Han would admit to that. She’s actually very tolerable, compared to most people Lu Han knows. Even though Lu Han doesn’t treat her so well for the past few minutes, she still tries to keep up with the conversation.

For the next few minutes, Seohyun offers to talk about her job as a consultant. Not only is she nice, but also she’s quite intellectual. She actually has a nice job.

But this is still nothing compared to the brief moments he had with Yoona.

Those are irreplaceable. Even though he’s still hurt, he still loves her. He doesn’t need a reason why or even explain how he came to love her. It just sort of happened. He couldn’t stop it. It’s like setting your house on fire accidentally—what with leaving a stove on or an overheated appliance—and watching it happen right in front of your very eyes.

He can’t stop it.

“… Seohyun?”

Seohyun looks up with a polite smile. “Yes?”

“Do you like me?” Lu Han asks, gazing at her with such intensity. It’s quite unbelievable that he has the guts to ask her that when he couldn’t even utter a single word—if the topic is love—to Yoona.

Seohyun grins at him. “I do, actually.”

“Why?” he asks instantly, taking Seohyun by surprise.

She blinks for a bit, quite taken aback by his abrupt questions. “Well…” she trails off, searching for the right answer. Lu Han gives her few seconds. And when she finally opens , nothing comes out.

“You don’t like me,” Lu Han concludes, tightly gripping the arm of the chair. “Or if you do, it could be infatuation.” He stands up, plastering a firm expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Seohyun. You’re a lovely person. But I don’t deserve you.”

Seohyun stands up, too. However, she doesn’t look so surprised. “This is about Yoona, isn’t it?”

Without warning, the cappuccino Lu Han ordered spills on his pants.

“He’s here.”

Jessica doesn’t move or even react. Although most of those who turn blind wish they could see, she’s actually a little thankful as of this moment to be sightless. Seeing Donghae on his knees and asking for her forgiveness don’t help her forget about him.

Usually, Krystal lets Donghae in. That was when she doesn’t know about what happened. But after telling her every single thing, Krystal has become very supportive. And quite overprotective, she might add.

“Should I tell him to leave?” Krystal asks quietly.

Jessica snorts half-heartedly. “You always tell him to leave even when I tell you not to.”

“Well, t-that’s because…”

Jessica nods her head lightly. “You can do whatever you want to do to him, Soojung,” she says. “But I don’t want to talk to him right now. You can invite him in and talk but I will be in my room.”

“Don’t have to because I’m not planning to talk to him anyway.”

Jessica presses her lips together, trying to fight back the tears that were aching to come out. It’s been weeks since the last dispute (and their break up) but not once have Krystal seen Jessica cry because of it.

It’s not because she doesn’t feel sad about it. In fact, she’s broken. Totally broken. Without Donghae, she feels so empty and lifeless. But she can’t admit to that. She can’t let her little sister see how broken she is. Especially when she’s the only family Krystal has left. And considering that she’s been a burden to her little sister for years because of her disability.

Crying about it would totally make things worse.

“Unnie, do you even consider, you know, hearing him out?” Krystal asks.

Jessica raises her eyebrows, feeling quite surprised that she’d ask that. Normally, it’s Krystal who bad-mouths him every time they talk about him. “I… don’t know,” she answers faintly. There’s nothing to hear out, she thinks bitterly. Things are definitely over between us.

“Unnie, I think I never told you about what happened between me and Kai,” Krystal says, scooting next to Jessica. Krystal gently takes Jessica’s head and places it on her lap. “I told Kai that I liked him few weeks ago. He told me he doesn’t feel the same way. I know how things would turn out in the end if I tell him the truth. And it did happen. But honestly, I don’t care at all.”

Jessica forces a laugh. “So, what are you trying to imply, Krys?”

“Just take the risk,” Krystal announces, softly rubbing Jessica’s temples. “I know I’m quite a hypocrite, telling you advices when I’m messed up as well. Well, to be quite honest, my current feelings are a total confusion so I don’t plan to linger on it any longer. But… I don’t want to see you like this.”

Jessica her lips, feeling the tears b in her eyes. Don’t cry, she tells herself. Don’t cry in front of her.

“I know you’re trying to be strong right now. But don’t be. You don’t have to pretend as if you’re strong in front of me. I know you’re broken without Donghae oppa.”

Unconsciously, a tear rolls on Jessica’s cheek.

“And you’re never a burden to me, unnie,” Krystal whispers, giving a light peck on Jessica’s forehead. Her voice is breaking, as though she’s crying, too. “You never were. There may be times when I involuntarily hurt you with my words or actions but I love you. I always will. You’re my sister and I’m always going to be here for you.”

Jessica swallows back the urge to cry. She can’t cry. Not right now…

“So, let it out, unnie. Just let it all out.”

For the rest of the night, the only sounds that can be heard are Jessica’s weeping and Krystal’s quiet lullaby.

Donghae heaves out a deep sigh, feeling his insides churning. He’s restless. He can’t stay put. He hates how he’s always nervous in front of Jessica. Perhaps, it’s a sign. A ridiculous sign that somehow tells him that Jessica is the one for him.

Sitting across Jessica and Krystal is definitely driving him crazy. Not to mention, the totally uncomfortable ambiance that surrounds the three of them isn’t helping him, too. He could almost wish Kai was here. Maybe then, he would actually comfort Donghae—in some way.

But then again, it would be a bad idea. Krystal and Kai aren’t exactly on good terms right now.

“You can talk,” Jessica urges coldly, her eyes looking fiercely. It’s like she could see him but then she actually can’t.

Donghae clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he utters. “I’m sorry that I… don’t always give you what you want or tell you things you want to hear. I’m sorry if I couldn’t love you the way you expect me to love you. I’m sorry that I always seem to be a total disappointment. And I’m sorry that I’m not the best boyfriend.”

He scrutinizes Jessica’s face for a bit and his heart doesn’t seem to keep calm.

“I can’t blame if you thought I was cheating with Yoona,” Donghae continues, nervously playing with his fingers. “It’s my fault that I didn’t take your calls or read your messages. I was thinking. I was thinking how it’s going to be like in the future, without you or with you in it. And I realized I’ve done pretty bad things in the past but you still stayed with me.”

He notices Krystal wrinkling her nose in disgust. He manages to hold back a chuckle. This isn’t the right time to laugh. Not when he’s on the brink of losing Jessica for a long time, or maybe, for forever if he isn’t careful.

“So, I realized that I should correct the wrong things I’ve done wrong in the past,” Donghae adds softly. “And take care of the things I should’ve taken care of a long time ago. I had to because if I wanted to be with you forever, I should let go of the past and focus on the present and future I plan to have with you.”

Krystal thinly rolls her eyes. However, Jessica still doesn’t react.

“I love you, Jung Sooyeon,” Donghae says in one breath. He looks hesitant—and he’s thankful that Jessica can’t see that—and his knuckles turn white as he clasps his palms together firmly. “Just you. And I’m certain of that now.”

With a sad smile, Donghae looks up at Jessica, expecting for her to say something. Or anything just to get rid of the awkward silence engulfing him.

But she doesn’t.

Instead, his heart breaks once more when he sees her stand up and walk away, leaving nothing but, perhaps, the silent rejection.

Normally, Krystal doesn’t worry about boys. She thinks it’s totally ridiculous to fret about them when they don’t even know her in the first place. Just like Kai, for example. She doesn’t worry about him—except that one time at a soccer game, Kai was hit in the head. Krystal couldn’t help but freak out even though Kai probably doesn’t give a tuck if she worries about him or not.

With a heavy sigh, she stares at the chocolate bubble tea in front of her. Just this morning, after taking a long walk under the heavy rain (since it helps her think), she decided to buy bubble tea along the way. She bites her lip as she recalls those times she spent with Sehun.

He’s definitely Kai’s exact opposite.

Sehun is a pushover. He’s too guileless and cheerful. Sometimes, it irks her on how gullible he can be. No matter how many times she tells him to man up, he doesn’t seem to listen. At times, Krystal feels like she’s talking to a five-year-old.

Her thoughts get interrupted when she hears distinct footsteps coming from the stairs.

“You’re up early.”

Krystal sits up and straightens her shoulders. She shoots Jessica a lazy smile though she can’t even see it. “Um, yeah,” she answers vaguely. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Thinking about something?”

“Just some school stuff,” Krystal lies, shrugging her shoulders. “Typical things.”

Jessica stumbles a bit as she lifts her hand, placing them on the table. Krystal half-stands and leans over to help Jessica take a seat. Jessica crosses her hands on her chest and stares at Krystal. For a moment there, Krystal actually thinks her sister could see.

“You’re right,” Jessica announces, a heavy sigh escaping from her lips. “You’re definitely a hypocrite.”

Krystal blinks. “What do you mean, unnie?”

Jessica shrugs. “You like Sehun,” she declares passively. “It’s as simple as that.”

Krystal’s cheeks turn red. She shakes her head robustly, denying it. “No!” she protests. “That’s, like, impossible! I don’t like Sehun that way. I know when I like someone, unnie. And I’m pretty sure I don’t like Sehun in a romantic way. I know it when I like him that way.”

“Oh, you do, don’t you?”

Krystal frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You like him,” Jessica concludes stubbornly. “I know you do. But you’re too obstinate.”

“Yeah, I wonder where I got it from,” Krystal remarks sarcastically, glaring at her. “You should maybe try forgiving Donghae oppa, too, rather than leaving him with nothing. He probably thinks that you’re rejecting him, leaving him without uttering a single word after his confession.”

“Mind your own business, Soojung.”

“You, too, Sooyeon unnie.”

“You’re still giving me the silent treatment, aren’t you?”

She doesn’t look up. Instead, she acts as though Sehun wasn’t even there.

“Noona.”

She saunters around the kitchen, tossing the utensils here and there.

Sehun inhales deeply, his eyes resting on Yoona’s back. He knows that she’s still pissed about what happened but he would have expected for her to actually come around and forgive him. He doesn’t really know what got into him that made him do that.

He leans on the wall for support and ponders on how to make her listen to him.

It’s actually a little harder to catch her attention. Few days after Nana’s death, Yoona has been depressed. She doesn’t eat or drink. She locks herself in her room and she doesn’t even nag him anymore.

And just recently, he discovers how she and Lu Han have actually developed a certain kind of relationship with one another. They aren’t committed but Sehun is well aware that they both have feelings for each other.

As for Yoona, it’s a little hard to figure her out, considering that she’s still blinded from the past.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Sehun spats out, drawing a pout on his face. “Noona, I’m sorry, okay? I really regret doing that. I was thinking that…”

Yoona turns around. “That what, Sehun?”

“That I…”

“How can you be so selfish?” Yoona hisses, placing her hands on her hips. “How can you do that to me, Sehun? To Donghae? How could you drag his girlfriend in this? You know perfectly well that we meant no harm but you had to drag her into this.”

“I—”

“You know how things are easily misunderstood by others nowadays,” Yoona spats out, waving her hands. “I’m not saying that Jessica is someone judgmental. But you know how things usually turn out, Sehun.”

Sehun bites his lip. “I know, noona. And I’m really—”

“I was hurt!” Yoona interrupts him, waving her hands exasperatedly. Once again, the emotions she has tried to keep exploded. “A lot. I wasn’t ready for it. I was just trying to work things out with Donghae, to forget the past and finally move on. We were trying to talk things out. But you had to bring—”

“I know what I did, Yoona!” Sehun cuts her off, leveling her glare. “And that’s why I’m trying to apologize. But you’re making it really difficult for me. You’re not the only one who’s grieving. I am, too! Because not only have I hurt three other people, but perhaps, I have hurt Luhan hyung, too!”

A tear escapes from his eye. He looks down, feeling remorseful about everything he did. I thought I was doing the right thing. “… And I might have lost the one I really like forever because of what I did. So, don’t talk as if you’re the only one who’s losing this race. Because I feel like I’m losing everything, too.”

one chapter left ;AA;

i'm sorry guys, but don't worry.

i've been planning to make a longer, chaptered-fic with more characters.

i'm really amateur with stories like this so i hope you pretty gulls can understand.

comments are niceu.