Ba-thump.

She opened her eyes. It was begging. Not only with voice, also her eyes express pure despair. My heart raced to my name being called out so sweetly, but the view before me made my insides drop. My body moved itself taking a step back, releasing this fragile, broken little creature from tight grip. I looked at her quickly walking away, head lowered, covering , without even the slightest idea what happened.

What have I done?

What have I done, that was so wrong, to deserve reaction like this? It wasn’t . I didn’t make her do anything. I wasn’t convincing to do anything. I wasn’t aggressive. She gave in to me herself, without fight. I could sense her enjoying it as much as I was, getting weak under my kisses. I could see it, while she leaned her head to the side. I could hear it, when she moaned almost inaudibly.

So, what the heck, made her cry? Why she looked so wronged, making me feel like a monster?

Aish! I don’t know! I don’t care! It would be for the best if we avoid each other for the time being.

***

‘What are you thinking about, that you didn’t even noticed I’m sitting here for the past five minutes?’ someone’s voice got me out of my reverie.

‘My wife,’ I said on the spur of the moment and looked up. It was Tao. Oh God, why I said that to him, especially. But it was true that after that day her sorrowful face frequently came across my mind, giving me painful stomach cramp. Am I really a monster in her eyes?

‘Me too.’

‘What?’ astonishment and a bit of anger was heard in my voice.

‘I also think about your wife,’ he repeat baldly, which pissed me off even more.

‘Tao, what the hell?!’

He answered with short laugh and fleer.

‘Calm down, Kai. It’s because she brought her CV to my company. This time,’ I wanted to immediately ask what does he mean by this time, but he continued. ‘I’m thinking of hiring her.’

‘And why are you here? Clearly not to hear my opinion about it since I see you already made the decision.’

‘No. I’m just telling you this, for you to not be surprised later. I think she wasn’t even aware of it, that it’s mine company.’

You may have taken Jiyeon but I won’t let you have my wife! run through my mind.

Why was I so possessive out of the blue?

‘Oh, come on, Kai. Stop looking  at me like this. I won’t do anything,’ he said but after a while I noticed this devilish smirk forming on his lips.

‘I’m not the one you should be worried about.’

‘What are you implying?’

‘Nothing much. But I have seen her with Luhan alarmingly much times. Alone, mostly. Just the two of them,’ he answered, making my head burn from the anger. ‘It’s a rare view to see her smile like this. Her face is really bright and pretty then. You should see this. She seems a totally different person, when she is with Luhan, than when being with you,’ my fist automatically hit the desk.

Your POV

I couldn’t face Jongin after this incident. I felt too in front of him and dirty. I didn’t even wanted for him to see the slightest bit of my skin. I guess somewhat that’s what girls feel like.

My parents played me like a puppet, making me do whatever they wanted. After I heard about marriage and moving out to live with my husband, I thought, at last, my life will go in the right direction now. He is my savior. But he is even worse. My parents controlled me. They were making all the choices, starting with what I eat, and ending it with picking my husband. I was physically trapped in their little prison. However, what I thought, what I wanted, what I felt, they could never take away from me. Jongin was the first one who proved it to me. They suppressed my emotions but never erased them. And that’s why he is the worst. He woken up those things hidden deep inside me and now he is toying with them. He is messing with my head, my feelings.

I hate you, Kim Jongin.

But on the other hand, how come he could act so sweetly, share food with me, say nice words, hold my hand, smile affectionately. Even if some were for others to see, it still didn’t change the fact, he was able to do it. And this little things he did let me forget he slapped me across the face and never apologized.

It all was just too hard. His actions. His words. He was so bipolar. How his moods changed, it was too much for me to handle.

Jongin’s POV

It would be my biggest mistake if I believed what Tao said. I couldn’t let him make my head spin. He already did that once to me with Jiyeon and I lost her. For my own sake, I assumed he was just sprouting nonsense to simply piss me off for his own amusement. It seemed to be his entertainment lately.

Anyway, we were supposed to have soon a friendly meeting with new investors and I needed her. I can’t let myself make lapses in a crucial moments like this.

***

Your POV

We were sitting in the restaurant with a couple a bit older than us, just casually talking. It was rare ‘cause most of Jongin’s investors were over fifty. They were  under forty.

It’s kind of funny how other businessmen like to be friends with each other, just not to be stabbed in the back and lose their company along with all the money. But I didn’t focused much on it. It wasn’t my cup of tea. Jongin was my worry now. We barely seen each other for days but I had my time to think and rebuilt my strength to look at him or even talk. I could sense he is awkward around me too. He used to always held my hand in front of others to show off our affection. Which, in reality, never existed. But not today. He not dared to get close to me enough for our bodies touch by accident.

Suddenly Jongin’s eyes were aiming directly at me. I haven’t realized I was looking at his handsome features for quite a time.

‘Your wife really has eyes only for you. She isn’t even looking at me when I’m talking to her’ the man said and started to laugh. His wife joined and left corner of Jongin’s lips went up.

‘Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I pondered a bit,’  I apologized and tried to fix my sitting position. Unfortunately, clumsy part of me showed itself when with knee, I kicked a glass of wine in my hand and spill it on my dress.

I stopped moving out of shock and not to made the situation worse. Jongin quickly grabbed handkerchief from the table wanting to help clean the wine off my clothes. But his hand stopped right before my chest. I took it from him fast enough that our companions didn’t noticed a thing. However, I’m sure my cheeks got a little red.

‘I will go to the bathroom, excuse me.’

Unluckily, there was nothing much I could do, there still was a big stain right in the middle.

‘I’m sorry. I hope you won’t feel offended if we end our meeting here,’ said Jongin . ‘I can’t let my lady look like this and feel uncomfortable,’ he explained.

I blinked a few times in disbelieve and felt excitement down in stomach to the thought he cared about my comfort and called me his lady.  

Jongin, stop. I can’t be moved by you again.

‘No, no. Of course not.’

‘Oh, honey. How romantic. Look how much of a gentleman he is,’ the woman got all excited.

We exchanged a few words outside and bowed to each other politely. The couple was walking away and I felt something worm on my shoulders.

‘Wear my jacket. It should hide the stain.’

I looked at him puzzled, searching for the reason of his behavior.

‘Wear it for now. We will go and buy you a new dress.’

‘There is no need. All I have to do is wash it.’

‘There is. Because we are not going home yet and I don’t want you to go around with dirty clothes and feel embarrassed about it.’

‘Oh…’ I said and putted my arms inside the sleeves.

Something in his face was different. It looked more relax. Was it because of wine? Whatever was it, whatever happened to him today, I was glad. We seemed to be a real couple searching for the appropriate dress for me. I glanced at Jongin from time to time. He is so attractive. Especially in this black shirt. In a second I started to think about his warm hands, handsome face, feeling of hot breath on my neck, soft lips kissing my skin.

‘This will be perfect,’ his manly voice brought me out of my reverie. But it was too late, I already remembered what was after.

Black is definitely his color. It matches his soul,  I thought sarcastically to myself.

Anyway, I must admit he had a good taste in women clothing.

‘I’m sorry I ruined the meeting,’ I said while we strolled down the sidewalk.

‘Actually, I’m glad you did. It was so boring I wanted to slit my wrist. Plus, her voice and fake sweetness was terribly annoying,’ not expecting this kind of answer, I giggled a little.

‘So basically you wanted to say I didn’t ruined it but you just took an opportunity to run away,’ my paraphrase got his attention and he stopped. He looked at me and I was getting ready to take a step back.

‘Well. You can also put it this way,’ Jongin smirked mischievously. ‘Let’s go. We are almost there. I want a bubble tea so badly.’

I couldn’t help but to smile myself. I never saw and never knew this playful side of him. He resembled of little kid happy he pulled a prank on someone. And I unwillingly have fallen for  this cute part of him.