Some people (e.g. emptycavern) are a bit confused about the ages in chapter 4, and I have to apologise for that, because that's just my failed worldbuilding showing up. Basically, the premise of this story is that when people die, they proceed onto the next universe/world/parallel space, without their memories. It's only till they have reached their last life (before their souls disappear), then will all the memories of their previous lives be accessible to them. So, the girl in chapter 4 was basically on her last leg of the race, and erm... her soul has expired.

And the unrealistic ages in chapter 4 is basically my slip-shod effort at trying to showcase a different world, where lifespans are dramatically extended. So...yea... ages aren't cumulative.

5.

He met Jinki when he was thirty-seven, happily married with 3 children in tow. Before Jinki came strolling into his life, Jonghyun had always thought of himself as a family man—a loving husband and a good father. He had always placed his family front and centre in his mind, and ranked them first in his priorities.

Jonghyun thought that he would never do anything that would jeopardise his family. But well, he was wrong.

In this fifth life of Jonghyun’s, Jinki was born an attractive man. (Well, it wasn’t as if Jinki could ever possibly be ugly in Jonghyun’s eyes, but that’s beside the point. The point was that Jinki was really incredibly attractive that time round. Should he walk down a street, he could possibly turn quite a few heads; both men and women. There was just this irresistible charisma about him.) While Jonghyun wasn’t a shallow man, he too, knew how to appreciate beauty when he saw it—he couldn’t help throwing a few extra glances in Jinki’s direction when he spotted him at the PTM.

“Why, isn’t that Mir’s father?” Hyori said, following Jonghyun’s gaze.

“Mir’s father?” Jonghyun asked. The man in question was speaking to a woman armed with a folder—presumably a teacher. A boy sat beside him, fidgeting with the edges of his jacket and swinging his legs carelessly. The boy looked as if he would rather be anywhere than there.

“Yup, Mir’s father—Mr Lee.”

“Am I supposed to recognise the name? Because if I am, you might just want to remind me again.”

“Well, I don’t suppose you will know Mr Lee. But Mir is a good friend of Hoya’s. You know, Hoya, our son?” Hyori responded drily, “Hoya has been talking nonstop about Mir recently and you can’t even remember him? What sort of father are you?”

“A loving father. But I have learnt to filter out unnecessary information throughout my period in the media department. And when Hoya starts talking about his friends and the games he plays with them –leaping marble catfrogs-dolls, Fustchcall or whatever kids play nowadays—I can’t help but to tune him out.”

“Jonghyun! Kids are really sensitive you know! You should start paying more attention to our children.”

“I do, honey, I do. We go out every week, don’t we? And haven’t I been taking Hoya and Junsu out jogging recently? And helping Sooyoung colour her picture books?”

“Still… you can get even closer to them if you pay attention to what they say.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll try. By the way, who’s that guy again?”

“Mir’s father, Mr Lee,” Hyori paused slightly before making an appreciative sound, “He is quite the gorgeous man.”

And somehow, miraculously, Hoya ran over to meet Mir once the PTM was over. And somehow, just as miraculously, the two kids started whining about how they wanted to play together for ‘just a little while more’. And to top off the slew of miracles that just couldn’t stop coming Jonghyun’s way that day, Jonghyun managed to ask Mr Lee out for dinner (all for the kids’s sake, of course).

The two families had a good dinner together. Jonghyun discovered the existence of a Mrs Lee, and Mr Lee met Hyori. By the end of the dinner, Mrs Lee and Hyori were getting along like a house on fire. And Jonghyun managed to get his hands on Mr Lee’s name. He was Jinki.

-

Eventually, as things must happen, Hoya grew up (and got more and more rebellious. Where was the obedient boy in the past?) and graduated. Jonghyun never knew exactly what happened between Hoya and Mir, but when Hoya started talking less and less of Mir (and jumping marble dogfrog-dolls or whatever they were), Jonghyun inferred that the two had drifted apart. There was only so long a friendship could last without interaction.

And with that, Jonghyun and Jinki drifted apart too. They no longer had any excuse to keep in contact with each other. And ever since the incident, things had gotten awkward between them. They each went their separate ways—Jonghyun with Hyori, and Jinki with Mrs Lee (Jonghyun couldn’t quite remember her name—June? Jun? Joon?).

It was only apt.

After all, Jonghyun was a family man. And too many times had he come too close to infidelity. He was hopelessly drawn towards Jinki, far more attracted to him than he was to Hyori. And for that, Jonghyun couldn’t help but to feel the well of guilt gushing open whenever Hyori cooked him a warm dinner, whenever Hyori sent him a look full of affection and whenever Hyori whispered ‘I love you’ into his ears. The waves of guilt were strong enough to drown out the budding love that dwelled deep within Jonghyun’s heart.

 “You’re drunk,” Jinki said, gently holding back Jonghyun’s hands and forcing him to place down the glass in his hand.

“I’m not,” Jonghyun replied, indignantly shaking off Jinki. He attempted to pick up the glass again.

“You’re intoxicated,” Jinki firmly rested his hands on Jonghyun’s, denying him of a drink.

“I’m not intoxicated,” Jonghyun frowned, “No one can be drunk on champagne. I am not drunk. Now, let me drink. I’m paying for half the bill you know.” Using his other free hand, Jonghyun reached out for the champagne, oblivious to the concerned looks Jinki was sending him.

Jinki swiftly snatched the glass out of Jonghyun’s grasp, before pinning both his hands onto the counter, “You’re not drinking anymore. I don’t want Hyori to come chasing after me because of her husband’s persistent idiocy to continue in his foolish debauchery.”

“What?” Jonghyun asked blankly, not quite catching what Jinki said. He blinked, “Whatever. Just let me drink.”

“No. Jonghyun, you are drunk.”

“If I’m drunk, what makes you think you aren’t? I can hold my liquor better than you. Faaaaaar better,”Jonghyun exaggerated, dragging his words out, “So let me drink.”

He wriggled his hands experimentally, testing Jinki’s grip on him. Jonghyun could only sense Jinki tightening his hands, squeezing the back of his hand hard. Jonghyun’s hands were really trapped now.

Jonghyun threw Jinki an irritated look. He knew he wasn’t drunk. Jonghyun couldn’t possibly be drunk on champagne. And even if he were, Jinki should have joined him in being drunk instead of ruining the mood by being such a strait-laced snob. Really, couldn’t the man just relax for once?

Jonghyun snorted indelicately, Jinki’s hands were really warm.

Jonghyun could feel the calluses on Jinki’s palms, rubbing against his fingers. Jinki’s hands weren’t smooth like Hyori’s or soft like Hoya’s (when he was still an infant), but at that moment, it felt incredibly comfortable against Jonghyun’s own. It was strong and steady and infinitely warm. It was like a mother’s embrace; like the early morning sun. Like a lover’s gentle kiss.

Uhmmm.

Suddenly, blood shot up into Jonghyun’s face and he flushed red. He realised he was humming. He stopped.

Jonghyun tried to snatch back his hands immediately, but Jinki didn’t let him go. Jonghyun blushed furiously and his hands started perspiring. He was as nervous as a school girl who just managed to hold hands with her boyfriend for the first time round.

Not noticing Jonghyun’s sudden heated face in the dim lights of the bar, Jinki simply threw him an unguarded smile before intertwining his fingers with Jonghyun’s. “You’re drunk, and we’re going home,” Jinki squeezed slightly, “Don’t bother trying escaping.”

The pounding in Jonghyun’s heart got louder and faster. He could feel its pace accelerating every second his hand was in Jinki’s. This wasn’t right. Maybe he was really drunk. Yup, he was probably really drunk and that explained why he felt light-headed and warm. It had nothing to do with the hand that was tightly interlaced with his. It had nothing to do with the man who was now gently tugging him off the barstool. It had nothing to do with Jinki.

-

The cool air of the autumn night kissed Jonghyun’s heated cheeks as he stepped out of the bar, into the open. A sudden breeze blew, bringing with it the scent of fallen leaves and fading colours. It found its way into Jonghyun’s coat that hung loosely on his frame, causing it to flare out for a short moment. Jonghyun shivered and instinctively snuggled against Jinki, the only source of warmth nearby.

“Here, let me help you,” Jinki attempted to untangle his fingers from Jonghyun’s, as his other free hand caught the coat’s belt that was flapping wildly in the wind just a second ago.

But Jonghyun refused to let Jinki go, tightening his fingers. Jinki looked at him in slight confusion, “What’s wrong? Let me help you close up the coat.”

“It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok. It’s autumn now, and the nights are cold.”

“You are beside me.”

“So?”

“I can just snuggle up to you when I feel cold.”

Jinki shook his head, chucking softly, “You really are drunk.”

At this assertion, Jonghyun suddenly stopped shuffling his feet and looked at Jinki questioningly. He cocked his head to the side, looking to the world as if he was deliberating on a serious issue. Pursing his lips, he lightly swung their clasped hands. An unreadable smile ghosted across his face, and Jonghyung announced out of the blue, “I am drunk. And I am not letting your hand go.”

“Ok…?” Jinki tried to laugh his puzzlement away, “You’re really going to catch a cold this way though.”

“I am not letting your hand go.”Jonghyun repeated in a sing-song manner, swinging their intertwined hands, “I am not letting you go.”

Jinki stared into Jonghyun’s eyes, trying to figure out the meaning behind the cryptic words. Jonghyun simply looked back, an enigmatic smile ready. He tightened his fingers and squeezed Jinki’s hand, as Jinki sought to uncover the half-hidden fire and barely concealed passion that laid behind the midnight-black irises.

Jonghyun could feel Jinki’s breath on his cheeks, and the smell of alcohol and cigarettes on his clothes. He could hear the muffled pop songs drifting from behind the closed doors of the bar, as well as the quickening thumping of his heart. He could feel the wool of Jinki’s windbreaker lightly brushing against the polyester of his coat and he could see his reflection in Jinki’s eyes. Jonghyun could see his smile widening, breaking out into a delighted grin that spoke of unbridled soaring wings.

Laughing boyishly, Jonghyun leaned forward and brushed his lips against Jinki.

When Jinki didn’t react but simply stood there, Jonghyun brought his head forward again and captured his lips with his own once more. It was harder and rougher this time round, as he ravished Jinki’s lips, tongue prodding, requesting access.

Jinki didn’t respond. He stood there, frozen, as his mind attempted to process what just happened. What was happening.

Undeterred by the lukewarm response, Jonghyun’s unoccupied left hand sought out Jinki’s right, as he pressed his body against the man before him. The wind had picked up again, and his coat was flapping wildly, but Jonghyun paid no heed to it; relishing in the warmth of the kiss and Jinki’s body.

Jinki opened his mouth. Jonghyun grinned jubilantly into the kiss, deepening it.

-

A full minute later, the heated kiss ended. Before Jinki had time to collect his senses, Jonghyun was already tugging at his hand, leading him down the streets.

“Let’s go,” Jonghyun said.

“Go where?” Jinki’s lips were still moist and red.

“Down the road, across the street—to the hotel. If I remember correctly, there is one here,” Jonghyun laughed, “But then again, I am drunk. So I may be wrong.”

“There is,” Jinki muttered.

“What?” Jonghyun turned his head around to look at the man whose hand was tightly interlaced with his. His pace never slowed down.

“You are right,” Jinki was unable to look Jonghyun in the eyes, “There is one.”

Jonghyun threw Jinki a smile that was as if he was lit up from within, “That’s great then! Tell me if I am going in the wrong direction.”

-

When Jonghyun returned with the cardkey, Jinki was on the phone. Ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach, Jonghyun approached Jinki, gathering the pieces of a smile together. He stopped in his efforts when he couldn’t help but to overhear the conversation.

“Yes, love,” Jinki said placatingly into the phone, “Yes, I hear you, love. I am sorry, ok? I am going home now.”

The woman on the phone replied. Jinki’s expression changed and he started shifting his weight from leg to leg guiltily, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you and Jihyo wait up for me—wait, is Jihyo still up? Can you pass her the phone?”

Jinki’s eyes wandered the lounge as he waited for his wife to pass the phone to his daughter. His eyes met Jonghyun’s for a split second, before quickly sliding off, face frozen stiff. It was as if Jinki saw something that he would rather not see.

His attention immediately snapped back to the phone the moment a little girl spoke. Jinki didn’t even look remotely near Jonghyun’s direction as he smiled dotingly to the air. His daughter was speaking.

“Jihyo, daddy’s coming back home soon. Let mummy tuck you into bed and go to sleep, ok? Daddy’ll be home soon, and tomorrow he will specially go to the shop downtown to buy you a pint of Tom and Jerry’s ice cream, so go to sleep with Mr Teddy now,” Jinki spoke soothingly, a gentle smile making its way onto his face; so unlike the previous expression that he just gave Jonghyun.

“Good girl. Goodnight, Jihyo.” Jinki’s head bobbed up and down approvingly. He paused for a second, as the phone was passed back from daughter to mother. He started, “Don’t wait up for me, love. Go to sleep with Jihyo. I don’t want you to lose anymore sleep on my behalf.”

The woman’s voice drifted across to Jonghyun, her voice all mock scolding and genuine concern. Jinki chuckled softly, “Ok, whatever you say, love. Just don’t blame me if you wake up with eyebags tomorrow.”

“Hmmm, ok. Bye, love,” Jinki’s eyes crinkled, his mouth tugging upwards, “I love you too.”

After placing his phone back into his pockets, Jinki found himself with nothing else to occupy his hands and stood awkwardly in the middle of the reception area, a distance away from Jonghyun. His eyes never left the marbled floors and his hands were tucked securely in his windbreaker’s spacious pockets. The place was silent except for the ticking of the antique grandfather’s clock decorating a corner, and the tapping of hands on keyboard as the concierge on duty busied himself. The tension in the air was almost tangible—heavy and overwhelming; you could nearly cut it with a knife.

After a minute of staring intensely as Jinki who refused to even so much as look anywhere near his face, Jonghyun took a step forward. This movement seemed to have startled Jinki out of his hesitation and he suddenly spoke, “Uhm—I—I need to go.” Jinki looked up, eyes meeting Jonghyun’s for the first time since they reached the hotel. He clarified, “I have to go back. Back home.”

A pregnant pause elapsed, as Jonghyun stared at Jinki and Jinki stared at Jonghyun. Finally, Jinki opened his mouth once again and spoke, “You have to go back too.” It had the tone of finality.

And that was that. Jinki left the hotel first. Jonghyun followed soon after, checking out of the room he had never seen just ten minutes after reservation.

Jonghyun and Jinki were both family men. Jonghyun had Hyori, and Jinki had Mrs Lee. It was how things were in Jonghyun’s fifth life.

-

When thinking back, Jonghyun can’t help but to muse silently on how things may have been different if only he had met Jinki a little earlier.

I don't really ship Hyori with Jonghyun, but I think Hyori's cool and want to give her some of the love she deserves. So, I randomly added her into this chapter and made her a couple with Jonghyun. Although thinking back on it, I shouldn't have chosen someone who is publicly attached.

P.S. I loved her attitude in Family Outing. XD

P.P.S. Did anyone spot the Joonew I've tried to weave in?