3.

In his third life, Jonghyun was a star in this strange, foreign galaxy. Born in a cloud of gases and dust, out of the fusion of atoms with atoms, Jonghyun burst (literally) into life suddenly.

Without rhyme nor reason, he found himself trapped in space, glowing and glowing, energy radiating from him endlessly. Spending his life as a star, Jonghyun wasn’t quite sure of what he was supposed to do (other than to exist and glow), and found himself drifting through his long lifespan aimlessly. It was not till a long, long time later, when another star burst into life, shrouded in his nebulous shawls, relatively close to Jonghyun that he finally found life less tedious, and a bit more interesting. 

They talked to each other constantly, depending on the other star for company. It was only a long while later (after tons of philosophical existential discussions) before Jonghyun finally learnt the other star’s name, and the other star his.  And the only reason they did so, was because of the birth of a third star. Addressing each other as ‘hey’ was starting to get confusing.

Numerous stellar eruptions later, Jonghyun figured he must be the first star to be born. In his corner of the galaxy anyway.

By the time half of his lifespan was over (and his corner of the universe was practically glowing with starlight), Jonghyun had developed this vaguely dissatisfied feeling within him. It was both inexplicable and unreasonable. No reasons offered by Taemin or Kibum fully explained the emptiness within him. And any reasons thought up by him were immediately slammed down by himself a split second later.

Jonghyun was a star, right? Within him, in the centre of his very being, was a hot molten core of excited gases and particles, right? He was supposed to be full of light and boundless energy. Yet, why did he feel so empty—almost as if he were lacking something critical.

-

After a suitably long period of morose musings, a new star was born. This time round, it was born much further away from Jonghyun (his immediate area was starting to get crowded). If Jonghyun strained his senses and shone a bit brighter, he would just be able to make out the features of the newly born star. It was born at the corner of his corner of the galaxy; out of his reach. Jonghyun felt a sudden sense of déjà vu. The way the new star glowed warmly reminded him of something—something that will fill up the emptiness within him.

Jonghyun wanted to speak to the new star (just to make sure that he had settled in, and everything was alright. You know, just the normal courtesies extended to every star?), but considering their significant separation and the fact that stars could hardly wish themselves from place to place, he had little choice but to nudge his second-in-command. He just wasn’t bright enough to send messages over that great span of nothingness.

“Taemin, help me say ‘hi’ to the new star. Pass the message.”

Taemin shone back incredulously, “Do you mean the one at the edge of this place. Next to the star who is next to the star who is next to the star who is next to the star, Taeyeon?”

“Yes, I mean the star found 3 stars away from Taeyeon.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Taemin, I don’t want to start this again. The tenth of my lifespan spent on ‘what-ing’ with you was a complete waste of my time.”

“We have all the time in the universe, Jonghyun.”

“No, we don’t. I want to welcome the new star before anyone else does.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s only polite to do so.”

“You didn’t do it for the star next to Taeyeon when he was born.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“That’s precedence.”

“Shut up, Taemin. It will take a long enough time for me to pass a message star to star till it reaches him; I don’t need your help in dragging this any further.”

“O…k… sure. Whatever you want, Jonghyun. So … you really want me to pass the message to Sunny, who will pass it to Seungho, who will pass it to Joon, who will pass it to Seohyun, who will—“

“Taemin, you are being incredibly annoying now. And that’s saying something, considering the fact that I spent half my life with you.”

“There’s no need to be snarky, Jonghyun. Stars aren’t supposed to be snarky.”

“Taemin!”

“Fine! So all I need to do is just ask Sunny to tell the new star ‘hi’, right?”

“No, you are supposed to ask Sunny to tell the new star that ‘Jonghyun says hi, and he hopes that you have settled well into the universe.’”

“Sometimes, Jonghyun, I feel that the years of solitude before I was born must have really gotten to you. Your gases aren’t aligned right.”

“Just pass the freaking message.”

“You do know that it will probably take a fiftieth of your lifespan for your message to reach the new star, right?”

“Yes.”

“And that it would be another fiftieth of your lifespan before the reply reaches you? That’s provided the new star bothers to reply.”

“Yes.”

“And there’re probably better things that you can do with your life?”

“No.”

“Are you mad now?”

“Yes.”

“Can you please stop pulsing so violently?”

“No.”

“You are messing up the flow of my electrons.”

“Good.”

“Ok, I will pass the message now.”

And so Jonghyun found himself engaged in a long distance conversation with Jinki (Jinki’s first reply was to introduce himself and thank Jonghyun for his consideration) that was practically privy to all the stars in his corner of the galaxy. Playing ‘telephone’ across the universe hardly did wonders to privacy, but Jonghyun was only glad that their messages did not get distorted beyond recognition.

Thirty-one messages later, Jonghyun decided that Jinki was a really nice star and that he liked him better than any other stars in the galaxy; or meteorites for the matter.

(Once in a while, there would be an occasional shower of meteorites whizzing pass. And in the past, Jonghyun had always tried speaking to them, but he always got the cold shoulder. The first time it happened, it baffled him. The second time it happened, it irritated him. And the third time it happened, it angered him.

And when the fourth wave of meteorites appeared, Jonghyun didn’t try talking to them anymore. He had it all figured out with Taemin: meteorites were just rocks.)

Jonghyun’s life changed after coming in contact with Jinki. His schedule was revolutionised, and everything he did could now be said to be revolving around him.

In between the messages, Jonghyun spent the better part of his time regretting the messages he sent earlier, and reconstructing and refining them.  The rest of his time was mostly spent on speculating Jinki’s response to his increasingly elaborate messages. And all of his time was spent peering in the far-off distance, as Jonghyun tried to burn the image of Jinki into his very core. He wanted to know everything about him—his heat signature, his gases alignment, his everything. And on those once-in-a-blue-moon occasion, when Jonghyun allowed himself some time for introspection (a habit that was cultivated during the first twentieth of his lifespan), he realised he could no longer feel any emptiness within him. Jinki had filled it all up with his warm writing, sweet words and lovely, lovely existence.

Jonghyun glowed brighter and brighter, his desires of wanting to see more of Jinki burning strong. So strong were his desires that he never noticed he no longer burned yellow, but glowed a dull orange. His temperature was dropping and he was running out of gases. Jonghyun was turning into a red giant.

“Jonghyun, stop it.” Taemin snapped one day.

“What?” Jonghyun replied, sparing Taemin the briefest of glances before turning off to look into space.

“What?”

“What?”

“Jonghyun, I thought you were the one who hated ‘what-ing’.”

“I still hate it. But it takes very little intellectual capacity and attention, as compared to having a substantial conversation. Jinki’s message is at IU now, you know.”

“Jonghyun, you are scaring me.”

“What?” Jonghyun turned around, before pulsing apologetically, “Sorry, that was reflexive. What do you mean by that, Taemin? Why am I scaring you?”

“You are… obsessed with Jinki, Jonghyun. You do nothing nowadays, except to focus your life on him.”

“Oh, well. There’s nothing much we can do with our lives anyway.”

“You can always pay attention and speak to your nearby neighbours, instead of having long-distance relationships with a star so freaking far away!”

“Oh, sorry Taemin. I didn’t mean to neglect you intentionally. We can… have a chat now, if you want to.”

“I want you to stop looking at Jinki.”

A short silence elapsed. “Erm… I refuse? Are you jealous, Taemin?”

“You are dying, Jonghyun.”

“I am sorry?”

“You are dying.”

“Oh. I see.” A pause. “I actually heard that the first time round, you know.”

“You are dying, Jonghyun, dying, dying, dying. Dying. You are glowing orange now, and soon you will be glowing red and then you—Jonghyun, you need to stop straining yourself. You need to stop glowing into the far-off distance. You are intentionally shortening your lifespan and that just violates the sanctity of life. You—you need to stop this, Jonghyun.”

“Oh. I am sorry.”

“I am sorry too. I should have warned you earlier. You have very little of your lifespan left.”

“I think it’s around a hundredth.”

“I am sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Taemin. If anything, I only have myself to blame.”

Another silence elapsed and Taemin pulsed comfortingly, a silent harmony to Jonghyun’s reddish glow.

“The message is at Joon now.”

“Jonghyun…”

“It is.”

“Jonghyun… how can you still be thinking about that?”

“Why can’t I be thinking about that? It’s the only thing that can make my electrons tremble in anticipation now. It’s the only thing that can make me feel genuinely happy. I am just glad that I get to receive the thirty-second message before I die.”

Taemin didn’t know how to respond and what to respond with, and so he kept silent.

“Taemin, do you think I will be able to send a reply back before I die?”

“Jonghyun, how can you be so blatant… so upfront about your death?”

“You were pretty upfront about it to me earlier. You are too, now.”

“I was mad and desperate. And now I am just mentioning it, because you brought it up first. Don’t you feel sad?”

“A bit. But I am just mostly glad that I’ve managed to meet Jinki—fill my emptiness before I die. I feel a whole lot more completed than I did half a life ago.”

Taemin dwelled on it for a moment, watching Joon pass the message to Seungho.

“I don’t think I will ever truly understand you, Jonghyun.” Taemin radiated confusion, helplessness and sadness, “But I will miss you.”

“Thanks, Taemin.”

-

A while later, Taemin passed Jonghyun his thirty-second message. And Jonghyun sent back the thirty-thrid message before he felt his core collapsing, his gases running riot and his electrons madly dancing. He shrunk and he sizzled, and he turned into a mass of cold rocks and suspended dirt.

As far as Jonghyun was concerned, there was never a thirty-fourth message. 

Any cameos by idols from other girl/boygroups were done randomly. I didn't put much thought into it and simply picked the first name that appeared at the top of my head.