How are you? Do you think of me from time to time?
In this long night, I close my eyes again I think of you, I can’t sleep, this is how I’m doing

“Junhyung, you can’t keep lying there!” Doojoon shouted at the rapper.

It has been two weeks since he saw you with the fellow on the bed. Ever since he came back to the dorm that night, he did not say a word. He would cry, fall asleep, wake up, eat whatever the members force down his throat and then go lie down again and repeat the cycle. They even had to force him into the bathroom and shower for him. Junhyung was as good as dead.

“Junhyung!” Doojoon yelled, slapping the rapper’s arm.

Junhyung opened his swollen eyes slowly, looking at the leader lifelessly.

“Junhyung ah~” Doojoon squat down, cupping Junhyung’s cheek lightly.

Junhyung’s lips started to quiver. He shook his head slightly and buried his face into his tear stained pillow.

“Let go, Junhyung ah~ Let go.” Doojoon caressed the rapper’s back lightly.

“Everyone is worried for you. Don’t do this, please.” Doojoon said.

Junhyung said nothing but cry.

The night is especially longer tonight, this night without you I’m regretting that day I let you go
Continuously muted and slowly forgotten That is how you will be one day This night I can’t fall asleep in So sad tonight

He blamed himself for everything that has happened. If he was not so sneaky, if he did not anger you, this might not happen. The both of you might be happily planning your wedding now.

“I love her…. So much…” He spoke for the first time in two weeks.

“I know. We know.” Doojoon said, hugging the rapper with minimum strength. Junhyung was too weak for a tight hug now.

“But why? Why?” He cried.

Doojoon said nothing. He did not know why you did something like that. You were the nicest girl ever. You and Junhyung were so blissful. He too did not understand why things turned out this way. On one hand he was angry at the fact you did something so hurting to Junhyung, but on another hand, he did not want to believe you would do something like that.

“Am I not good enough?” Junhyung asked, looking at Doojoon.

The other members were standing at the door, heartbroken to see their beloved Joker looking so pale and weak.

“What are you saying!? You’re the best boyfriend any girl can ask for!” Hyunseung shouted in anger.

He was not angry at Junhyung. He was angry at himself. He was the one who kept telling Junhyung how blissful the both of you were, how far the both of you would go. He was confident. And now this had to happen. He blamed himself for giving Junhyung hope. He blamed himself for the state the Joker is in now.

“Then why?” Junhyung asked, voice cracking.

“No one ing knows what is going through the mind of that idiot!” Hyunseung shouted.

“Don’t call her that.” Junhyung said weakly.

“Just look at you. You don’t even have the energy to yell back at me now.” Hyunseung said, walking out of the room.

Dongwoon and Kikwang went after him, leaving Yoseob to stare at Junhyung with teary eyes.

This night I can’t spend with you In the midnight a a a midnight 
This Midnight I can’t sleep from my thoughts of you

“Sorry.” Junhyung apologized.

He covered the blanket over his head, hugging his knees as he stared into darkness.His head was aching so badly from all the crying and sleepless nights. He was so weak he could not even turn his body without feeling tired.

He knew his actions worried to boys. He knew he should not be doing something like that, but he could not help it. He loved you, and still do. You meant everything to him. You were more important than those music and lyrics he lost. He could compose those again, it just takes a little time, but he lost you, and nothing is going to be the same again.

“I hope one day our Junhyungie will come back.” Yoseob said softly before turning off the light and closing the door.

“Sorry.” Junhyung bit his thumb as he cried.

This night that found me again So sad tonight This night I greet again without you
In the midnight a a a midnight a This midnight I can’t fall asleep without you

“Why did you have to hurt me like that?” Junhyung mumbled.

“Why can’t you just slap me and say you want to break up with me? Why did you have to hurt me like that? You are not like that. That is not you. It’s not you. My darling would never do this to me. My darling is not like this. But… why?” He continued mumbling to himself.

He reached for his phone that was lying on the side table. He wanted to call you. He wanted to ask you for a chance to explain himself. He wanted to tell you he really love you and did not cheat on you or whatever you thought he did. But the moment he saw the smiling face of yours on his wallpaper, he started crying all over again.

“How could you do this to me? How could you?” He asked the ‘you’ on his wallpaper.

“How could you, baby girl? When did you become so cruel? When did you become so mean? How could you…” He cried.

He dialled your number with shaking fingers and pressed the phone against his ear, listening to your caller tone. It was still the same. His solo track; Living Without You.Now, even his own song seem to be mocking him.

You found me faster than the time I take to blink The love that left me, dear you can’t do this to me
Enough, it’s enough, stop hurting me This night I call pathetic never seems to end

Ever since that day, you were no better than Junhyung, not in terms of physical, but in terms of emotional. You expected him to come back, or at least call or text you. You expected him to ask for a chance to explain things. Junhyung was always the first one to apologize. You were already planning on forgiving him.

You could call or text him first, but you had too much pride in you. You felt that you were not at fault and you should not be the one apologizing first. He cheated, so why should you be the one asking for forgiveness for the sin he committed as well?

You took out a packet of ramen from the cupboard. You have been eating ramen daily ever since that day. You were not hungry, but you ate just to survive. You threw the pack of ramen back into the cupboard and shut it. You were sick of it. You opened the refrigerator and was greeted by Junhyung’s coke. You shut the door roughly and walked out of the kitchen.

“So you’re playing tough this time? Very well, Yong Junhyung, very well.” You mumbled.

You were walking back to your room when you heard your phone ring. You cursed under your breath and headed back to the living room to search for your phone. Just as you were about to turn over to see who the caller was, the doorbell rang. You silent the call and walked towards the door.

“Who is it!?” You shouted.

Even though I don’t want to bring up past stories But I must have really liked you
Continuously remembered and slowly yearning As more time elapses

You opened the door and swore loudly when you saw who it was. It was her. You could recognize her despite only catching a glimpse once. The woman who destroyed your relationship with Junhyung. The woman you would stab to death if murdering was not illegal.

“My, my~ Why is it that oppa likes someone like you?” She said in a mocking tone.

You rolled your eyes at her and closed the door. You were in no mood to argue with her or pull her hair out, although deep inside you have stabbed her ten times. She stuck out her feet to prevent you from closing the door.

“Move.” You said coldly.

“Move? After what you did to Junhyung oppa, you’re asking me to move?” She said.

“What I did to Junhyung? Ha! Excuse me, you seem to have gotten your facts wrong, haven’t you? It is more like what you and that bastard did to me, no!?” You yelled.

She shook her head and laughed mockingly at you. You felt insulted by her. You raised your palm to slap her, but she caught it in time, twisting your hand backwards instead.

“Let go!” You whined in pain.

“This is painful?” She asked, twisting your hand further.

You cried out in pain.

“This is painful!? WHAT IS THIS COMPARED TO THE PAIN JUNHYUNG OPPA IS GOING THROUGH!? WHAT!?” She shouted in your face, pushing you away.

“The pain Junhyung oppa is going through? THE PAIN JUNHYUNG OPPA IS GOING THROUGH!?” You shouted, feeling angry at the fact she called Junhyung ‘oppa’ in front of you so causally.

This night I can’t fall asleep in So sad tonight This night I can’t spend with you
In the midnight a a a midnight This Midnight I can’t sleep from my thoughts of you

“Do you take me for an idiot!? You really think I do not know what is going on between the both of you!? What are you trying to do here huh? Ms Third Wheel? It is so amazing you even have the cheek to appear at my doorstep! How freaking thick is your skin!?” You shouted into her face.

She said nothing but stared at you.

“We were very happy! Why did you have to do this to us!? Why did you have to come between us!? I know I am not as attractive as you are! I know I am not as appealing to men as you are! But I love Junhyung!!! I love him with all my heart!!! Even if… Even if you guys wanted to cheat behind me, why do it so obviously!? Why let me find out?! Why didn’t you just go further away to cheat! I wouldn’t have found out! I wouldn’t have suspected! I am very stupid! You just have to go a little further and I would not sense anything! Why did you have to do it right under my nose!? WHY!?” You cried, collapsing onto the floor, punching in the floor till your knuckles turned red.

“Why did you do this to me? Why?” You cried.

“You’re not stupid, you’re just blind.” She said.

You looked up at her, confused.

This night that found me again So sad tonight This night I greet again without you
In the midnight a a a midnight a This midnight I can’t fall asleep without you

“No wonder he was so worried whenever you guys argued. I laughed at him, but now I understand why. You only trust what you want to trust. You only choose to believe in what you think is the truth. You leave no room for other possibilities. You don’t even bother to think further. Shallow idiot.” She said.

“What?” You looked at her, feeling accussed.

“You claim you love Junhyung oppa with all your heart. Really? Do you really love him or do you simply think you love him? It’s different, you know.” She said.

“What did you saw us do? Hug? Link arms? Playing with each other? You want to know what else we did? We even showered together, sleep together, eat together, go to school together, hold hands, kiss. All these, we’ve done it together before.” She said.

You clenched your fists tight.

“Unclench that.” She commanded, pointing at your fists.

“You’re a human of the twenty first century. You don’t use your fists for everything that does not go your way.” She said.

She squat down in front of you and lifted your chin with her finger.

“Listen closely, shallow idiot.” She said.

“I! Am! His! Freaking! Cousin!” She shouted in your face.

Your jaw dropped. Cousin!?

That little star twinkling above, comfort me Tonight is the night where everything collapses with
nowhere else to rest That little star twinkling above, comfort me Collapsing without anywhere to rest

“Ms Third Wheel? You called me that? Tsk tsk~” She scoffed.

“I… How…” You mumbled.

“How did I become his cousin? How the hell would I know!? Go ask his parents and my parents!” She yelled.

“Shallow idiot, if not because Junhyung oppa look like he is on the verge of dying, I would not even come here today! Talking to someone like you is just a waste of my time!” She rolled her eyes, throwing a heavy folder at you.

“Listen carefully. I am not going to repeat myself again.” She said.

“He was going to propose to you. We met up to plan this ridiculous proposal. Despite his endless workload, he never once complained. Even when I have fallen asleep, he was still on the laptop searching for rings, dress, honeymoon places, churches, food whatever you need to hold a proper wedding.” She continued.

“Oppa was so nervous. That night before he proposed, I was downstairs with him. He was shaking and still asking me all the pointless ‘what if’s. I told him it would turn out good, it would be fine. But when I called him and all I heard was him crying, I want to kill you. I want take the chopper I hardly use and just stab you till you bleed and die.” She spat in your face.

“You did a very good job in digging out the fact he was hiding something and finding me out, but that’s all! You stopped there! You did not bother to go further to try prove that you were wrong about him. And you say you love him with all your heart? You do?” She asked.

"He did not tell me!" You yelled.

"IT'S CALLED A SURPRISE FOR A REASON, IDIOT!!! What? You expected him to plan it with you and then you pretended nothing happened and act surprise when he proposed!? Is this what you want? Is this how you think it should be!?" She shouted.

“And oppa did not cheat. You did.” She said, throwing a crushed piece of paper in your face before leaving.

   The night I count the stars, the night that slowly transforms because of the changing seasons
However, this night is still the night I still can’t seem to fall asleep in sleep

You sat on the floor, digesting her words.

You were wrong all along. He was loyal, but you played. The only fault he had in this ridiculous misunderstanding is that he could not lie well enough. Then again, how can that be considered a fault?

“Junhyung…” You mumbled.

You looked at the crushed piece of paper in front of you. You opened it up. It was a name card. You assumed it was her name seeing the fact the surname was ‘Yong’ too. Her job title is ‘Wedding Planner’.

“What have I done?” You pulled your hair, crying.

You screwed up. He did not crush your heart, you crushed his. He did not cheat on you, you did. Everything that you thought he did wrong, he did not do it at all. But you, you did everything you assumed he did to you, out of anger. You hurt him out of anger.

You understood the bouquet of crushed roses now. You faintly remember him wearing a tuxedo now. He was going to propose to you. It is true. But you spoiled it. You killed him inside.

This night that found me again So sad tonight This night I greet again without you
In the midnight a a a midnight a This midnight I can’t fall asleep without you

You banged onto the door of Beast’s dorm.

“OPEN UP!!!!!” You shouted.

The door opened, revealing an irritated looking Kikwang.

“What are you doing here?” He said dangerously.

“Junhyung.. Where’s Junhyung?” You asked worriedly.

“Have you came to see if hyung is dead? If yes, then congratulations, because of you, he is as good as dead.” He said.

“Where is he? Where!?” You shouted.

Doojoon walked out of the room, staring at you.

“Doojoon ah, where is Junhyung?” You asked, in hope he would help you.

“Go.” He said coldly.

“Doojoon ah!” You begged.

“Let them talk, hyung.” Dongwoon said to Doojoon.

You looked at him, but he looked away.

“Yea, Doojoon. Let her see Junhyung. Let her see the masterpiece she moulded with her own two hands. Let her see it, and hopefully she would be able to live with it.” Hyunseung said sarcastically.

Doojoon moved away, allowing me to go in.

Yoseob was standing outside the room door, as thou guarding.

“Yoseob…” I called out.

“Don’t call my name. Unless you can return our Junhyungie back to us, don’t call my name.” He said, pushing open the door.

I stepped into the dark room. I searched for the switch and flicked it on. When the light came on, I saw someone curled up on the bed with the blanket covering his body full.

I pulled away the blanket slightly. I gasped when I saw Junhyung’s pale face. His cheeks were tear stained, his dark circles stood out, there was a permanent frown on his face. He was clutching into his phone tightly. He looked very terrible. Hyunseung was right. I doubt I would ever be able to live with this.

“Are you amazed?” Hyunseung asked sarcastically.

“What… happened?” I asked, biting on my inner cheeks to prevent myself from bawling.

“What do you think happened?” He said.

“Junhyung…” I mumbled, squatting down beside the sleeping him.

“Darling…” I cried, touching his face lightly.

He opened his eyes slightly.

“Mmm..” He made a soft sound.

“Jun, it’s me.” I said softly.

He opened his eyes wider with much difficulty. He looked at me with his swollen eyes.

“I did not cheat.” He started crying.