So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

And I'll keep up with your old friends just to ask them how you are

Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you, you wished you had stayed

I never planned on making you cry

But not letting go would be living a lie

Jiyong’s POV

It’s been 2 months since I let her go. 2 months and two days to be exact. I’ve been regretting letting her go but I know I can’t bring it back. I had my reasons, yea, but life was damn hard without her by my side.

When I saw her cry when I told her we should end ‘us’, I wanted to cry with her, I never wanted to see her hurt, I never wanted to see those tears, but in the end, I was the main cause of all her tears and heartbreak. I never really planned on making her cry, but not letting go would be living a lie. 

I broke up with her, because I felt so suffocated, I felt so bounded in this love. It felt like it was a routine I do every day and I grew tired of it. I thought that we lost the spark, the butterfly feelings and the sweet moments. I thought I didn't love her anymore.

But losing her was my biggest mistake. I loved her. God knows how much she means to me. I truly truly love her. But I realized it way too late.

I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to ask forgiveness and I wanted her to take me back, but I know that the moment I left her crying and hurt, she had already shut me off in her life.

I even deleted her from my Facebook friends. How petty i was. I was scared, that what if she changes her relationship status to: In a relationship. I would die. 

Our old friends were planning to have dinner in the restaurant near Dara’s home – the home where we shared a lot of memories. I used to keep spare clothes and toiletries on her room, for when I wanted to sleepover. Would she still wear my clothes like she used to? She has that hobby because she likes the scent of my clothes, my scent.

It is my first time since we broke up that I’d be attending the bonding time. Whenever they’ll invite me, I’ll make excuses that I’m busy with work and other stuff.

Actually, I really am busy with work. I’m working real hard, but not to the point that I’ll get sick. Dara gets mad at me when I overwork, and I’ll always remember we’ll get into big fights when I tire myself and get sick. Doesn’t she know I do that for her? So that when I get enough money, I’d propose to her, we’ll get married and she won’t need to work again.  

But that’s the thing; we won’t get married anymore, so why do I need to give all my time to work? I need to divert my attention, because every free time I have, will be devoted to her. And it will just make me realize how a fool I was to let her go.

Being busy over work was my lame excuse for me not to see her. I knew she was always present in these hangouts and I miss her bad but I know I’d be hurting her if she’ll see me, and I’ll be hurting myself too.

But here I am now, standing in front of the shop’s door, wanting to see her badly. *Sigh* Did she move on? Did she forgive me? Did she forget me?