The door flies open with a loud bang against one of the walls, missing me by mere millimeters, and the next thing I know I'm being hugged… or may I correct - smothered, by a random person. A person with straight, shoulder length hair, that's all I've been able to make out before s/he jumped me.

I think they’ve mistaken me for Taemin, this place sure is dark. Yes, probably... or do these people hug everyone who comes knocking on their door? Then I simply must take Tae away. What if this creep is really just trying to mutilate me, as an attempt to force me into leaving my brother alone? They’re doing a pretty good job though, with the element of surprise and all. I'm still too dumbfounded to kick the person off.


"God Jongin, I’ve missed you so much." says girly-hair in a shockingly familiar voice.

Tae? I know my brother's voice...

I'm beginning to choke on nothing but air and at long last he releases me, probably wondering whether he's managed to crack a few of my ribs. Which might be true, but at the moment, that's not the first thing on the list of my worries.


I finally get a better view of him standing in front of me, grinning with that infectious smile of his. Yep, it's Taemin alright. Taemin with way too much hair for me to properly handle and a lip ring.

Yes, that's right, I said a lip ring. Is this thing real?

 

I gotta blink a few times, in order to make sure I'm not hallucinating. He doesn't seem to vanish so I take it as a no.


"Yeah, me too." the only thing that comes out of my mouth is that I've missed myself too. Don’t I deserve a gold star? "…now what have you done to yourself?" and where can I get the same?

Taemin looking cooler than me is just, well... absurd.

 

"You like?" he sticks his bottom lip out in that annoying manner most people with pierced lips do.

So here's another reason for me to hate him, number 1001, joining the list.

"Yes, but why’s your hair so long?" joining a cross-dressing competition, huh Hyung?

 

"It’s just extensions, Jongin. Ring’s real though." he shrugs, signaling for me to enter.

Uh, Right. I didn’t really believe he’d managed to multiply the length of his hair in the span of two weeks.

Just who do you take me for?!

I take an awkward step forwards and...woah, the elephants must've enjoyed themselves, whatever they were doing. The place is a mess.

Not that I was expecting Taemin to turn into a housewife, not at all, but having a mini-dumpster indoors might not be the best way to show your support for Greenpeace.


"Sorry 'bout the mess" he says, throwing a bunch of objects to the floor and motioning me to sit down on what looks like a couch.


"It's okay, Tae." do I look like I'm about to throw up? He never seemed to worry about a mess before and just to be completely honest – most cavemen could generally be considered way tidier than my brother, but maybe now that I'm a guest of sorts..?

This does, however, seem like the perfect environment for a Taemin to exist in.

Hey, maybe I could persuade National Geographic to film some sorta documentary about this flat; Taemin will get so embarrassed he'll have no choice but to move back in with us.

Yeah, this might work... in a dream.

So far it has been my best idea, right after dragging Tae back home by the ear.


"I just came back from work, and stuff. " is his excuse for the state of the apartment.

And stuff? As in 'and you know I'm a lazy '? Yes Hyung, I do.


"And where, may I ask, do you work?" Ooh he must be an ulzzang… or better yet, a stripper. The crazy hair is probably a trick so that nobody recognizes him! Although… it might have been easier to just wear a wig. The hell with my brother’s flawed logic.

"Just some ty diner, you wouldn't wanna eat there."

Why did you wink at me, Tae? Oh, it must be a strip club you're talking about.

A strip club that's open on mornings? Damn, it must really be a diner then. "How's everyone?" Taemin is suddenly finding his fingernails enticing, and… okay, they’re green. It takes me all of my willpower to refrain from commenting.
 

"Well, umma's pretty mad, if you know what I mean," I tell him.

Great, could this conversation get any more awkward?
 

"Yeah... I didn't mean for it to, but it all just kinda happened?" Yes, whatever. And stop with the puppy faces. You're coming with me one way or… some other way. "So how are the dogs? I mean, I'd take them with me, but I don’t think there’s enough-"


"Over my dead corpse, young man." And now I sound like mom. What, as if moving out wasn’t enough, is he trying to take everyone I love away? By the way he fidgets I can see he understands just how uncomfortable the entire situation is for me.

We've always had this ‘mutual understanding’ thing. Or well, at least he did.