Hyerin silently watched as the boys rushed in and out of their bedrooms, carrying their heavy luggage to the living room to make it easier for them to bring the bags when they leave for the airport. Today was the day the six of them were flying to Hong Kong and, honestly, she was quite nervous about it.

Her hands reached up to clutch the front of her shirt, nails digging into the fabric where her heart’s supposed to be. All her life she thought she was normal; never did she imagine that something like this would happen to her.

There was nothing there. There was neither the feeling of calm vibrations in her chest nor the sound of gears whirring along with it. It made her wonder if her father was lying and if he wasn’t, was it worth it?

Was she worth it?

“Hyerin, it’s time for us to leave.”

She looked up, watching as Chen carried two bags in his hands.

“Okay.” She stood up from the couch. “Are you guys all set?”

“Yup. We have to be at the airport three hours before boarding so we better leave now,” Lay said, glancing at his watch. “Also, Agent M is going to meet us there so we’re kind of rushing right now.”

“Alright. You guys know what to do when you get there?” Suho asked, squeezing the back of Kris’ neck in reassurance.

“We got it all planned. There’s really nothing to worry about us, what’s important is you guys.” Kris raised a brow. “Make sure to be extra careful here.”

He nodded. “Right.”

“Alrighty!” Xiumin exclaimed, clapping his hands. “Let's get going then. We’ll be back in a couple of days. Oh, and don’t worry about school. Suho took care of it already.”

With that, everyone greeted each other farewell – hugging and patting each other’s backs while exchanging words of luck. 

Hyerin was in the middle of hugging Lay goodbye when she caught Baekhyun’s eyes on her, a grim but unsettled expression gracing his handsome face. It made her feel uncomfortable yet she couldn’t help but feel worried for him and what he and the others might stumble upon in Hong Kong.

She decided to look away, but not before catching the two words Baekhyun inaudibly said.

“Be careful,” he mouthed.

“You, too,” she whispered back, ignoring her own anxiousness. She was still upset with him, but not really angry anymore. Besides, what was there to be angry about? That was his decision and she was going to respect that.

A hand on her shoulder made her break the eye contact with Baekhyun. She turned around, facing Kai who was clad in a duffle jacket.

“Hey,” he muttered quietly, giving her a small cautious smile.

“Hi,” she said, watching as he slipped on his backpack. “Ready to leave?”

“I’m all set.” He shrugged, adjusting his cap. “What about you? Are you sure you’re okay here?”

“Yeah, I have the others to accompany me. There’s really nothing to be worried about.” She looked down on her shoes before glancing back up at Kai, lightly punching him in the shoulder. “Take care of yourself, alright?”

“I can say the same for you. Always keep your eyes open,” he said, raising a brow. “How are you by the way? I didn’t get to ask you how you’re holding up after what happened with Baekhyun.” His eyes imperceptibly darkened before returning back to normal.

She shrugged. “I’ll be alright,” she said. “It’s just a boy. I’ll get over it.”

He shook his head. “He should pay for what he did. That son of a should go to hell.”

“Hey,” she said, giving him a playful scolding look. “Don’t say that.”

“Oh, please, he deserves it.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s a jerk and you know it.”

“Kai, no.” She crossed her arms, frowning. “That’s not something you should say about your friend.”

Kai chuckled humourlessly. “Are you serious? Are you actually defending him after what he did to you?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s his fault. I put him in that kind of situation, and although I am upset, I was the one who expected too much from him,” she replied slowly, unnerved by the look Kai was giving her.

His mouth parted, slightly taken aback. “Are you kidding me?”

She raised a brow. “Uh, no.”

He scoffed, taking his cap off and running a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe this. You’re actually on his side even though he hurt you?”

“Did you even listen to what I just said? It wasn’t his fault, Kai. I put myself in that situation and he didn’t have a choice. What can I do if he really doesn’t like me? It’s not like I can force him or anything.”

“Oh my god,” he scowled, shaking his head at her. “I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

She frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked, pulling Kai inside the kitchen so no one could hear them.

“It means that I can’t believe you’re still all over him despite what he did to you!” he hissed, crouching down to her level. “How are you still in love with him?”

Her eyes widened. “I never said I was in love with him!” she bit back. “And what? You think feelings can disappear overnight? Kai, I don’t think you understand my situation right now so it’s best for you to just get off my case.”

“Oh, I know, Hyerin. I know full well how it feels like to be so into someone even though you know they don’t like you back,” he started heatedly. “The feeling of chasing someone like a love sick puppy and being so ing stupid because you care for them so damn much. I know that feeling, Hyerin, and you know what the most? It’s when someone confronts you about it. When they tell you it’s never going to happen.”

His conversation with Baekhyun a few days ago passed his mind, sending another jolt of pain in his chest.

“It’s the same for you. You know it’s never going to happen.”

“Excuse me?” she scoffed, backing away from disbelief.

“I don’t understand why you like him so much when you know you’re never going to be with Baekhyun! Why can’t you settle for someone who actually likes you, Hyerin? Settle for someone who would take care of you and would give up everything for you?”

Her brows furrowed together. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that you’re too caught up with him that you don’t see the people who actually want to be with you!”

“Kai,” she sighed, rubbing her temple, “this is getting out of hand. Let’s just stop.”

“No! I won’t stop until you realize how I feel about you!”

“Wha-”

Kai interrupted her by pulling her waist and pressing his lips harshly against hers.

It was a simple kiss – their lips were not in a passionate tangle nor were they pulling each other closer. His hands were cupping her cheeks, eyes squeezed shut while Hyerin’s dark orbs were wide in shock. Neither of them moved as if time just stopped right then and there.

It was his dream to kiss Hyerin; to kiss the one he cherished the most although it was hard to admit it, even to himself. It was his dream to be able to feel her soft lips, to taste them. It was as sweet as he imagined it to be, probably even more. It felt like he was living the fantasy he’d been wanting for so long.

But as he held her tighter and parted her lips with his own to deepen the intimate exchange, he knew that it was completely one-sided.

It was his dream to kiss Hyerin, but not like this. She didn’t share the same feeling of bliss. She didn’t feel the spark and sadly, he was living the fantasy by himself.

Please, he thought. Please kiss me back.

Yet she kept still.

All too soon, she pulled away, face red and breathing labored. Her eyes displayed pure confusion as she stared up at Kai in a pathetic, silent attempt to question his bizarre actions.

“I love you,” he whispered in a gruff, desperate tone as he pressed his forehead against hers. “This is the first time something like this ever happened to me and I’m not giving up on it until you give me an answer.”

With that, he gave her one last longing look before turning around to leave. Hyerin just stood there, stunned, as she watched the boy disappear out of the kitchen.

---

The rest of the day was spent training at the HQ with the remaining agents. Everyone was busy sparring, but Hyerin was too distracted with her own thoughts to focus on that.

The only thing on her mind was the image of Kai kissing her. She was completely stunned by it, not only because it was her first kiss, but also because of how quickly things escalated. It took a lot of contemplation but she finally understood that Kai really liked her, going as far as claiming that he loved her. For all this time, she was so used to Kai’s affectionate ways that she thought everything was just normal when in fact, something bigger started to bloom from there.

She honestly didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything that was happening right now all came down to her, and only her. She didn’t know if she was just plain unlucky or if she’s just thinking too much of herself and think the world revolves around her like what Hyeseul said. She was the root of all the problems they had right now and it was the most helpless she felt knowing that she didn't know why or how to fix it.

Suho’s booming voice made her jump. He wanted everyone to gather. With a sigh, she stood up and walked to where the boys were.

When everyone was finally gathered in the middle of the room, Suho started to speak.

“Putting all this aside,” he started. “One of these days, the school will be suspicious of us and will no longer buy the excuses I give them every time we skip school. One of these days, we might get in trouble, so I think we should also focus on that while the others are gone.”

“It’s perfect because next week there’s going to be a festival at school,” Sehun added. “We should attend! It’s going to be so much fun!”

“It will be, but Hyerin, you should still be careful,” Chanyeol reminded. “You never know what’s lurking around, even in school. But don’t worry about it, I’ll be with you the whole festival!” he added with a grin.

“Which is why we should work harder,” Suho started, wiping the beads of sweat decorating the side of his face. “As one of the oldest in the group I just want to say that we should work our hardest to improve ourselves, and you guys know why.

“Just in case anything bad happens, we should all be ready, so make sure to be at your fittest. I don’t want any of us to be severely harmed or even worse…” he trailed off, closing his mouth to speak no more.

“But anyway,” he continued. “Our main mission is to protect Hyerin and never let her leave our sight. We can’t take risks.”

There it was again. It was about her. Again. Hyerin sighed, having enough of this. She’s sick of being the source of every problem. She’s sick of it, hell, she was already sick of hearing her own name.

“I should have went with them to Hong Kong,” Hyerin mumbled quietly.

Everyone turned to Hyerin, surprised.

“What?” Luhan asked incredulously.

“If I went with them it would be easier to fix all this,” she continued.

Sehun rolled his eyes. “There she goes again with her impulsive ideas.” 

“No offense, Hyerin, but that is the dumbest plan of all the dumbest plans ever,” Luhan scowled, folding his arms.

“It’s true. It’s not like I’m going to give myself up to the enemy so willingly, I’m just so tired of being the cause of every ty thing that’s happening right now,” she vented, sighing out of frustration. “I just want all this to end. I want to go back to the time when I could do whatever I want without feeling so ing vulnerable all the time.”

“And you think this would be a solution?” Kyungsoo spoke up, raising a brow at her.

“Yes,” she huffed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“And what do you think you’re going to do there? Fight the bad guys off like how you usually do and hope for the best that you’ll win again?” he challenged.

“I won’t be hoping for the best. I’m positive I’ll win,” she said.

“You know, your arrogance will be the end of you,” Kyungsoo said. “If you went with them to Hong Kong, you’ll be adding to the trouble. They’d have to protect you the whole damned time!”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t need protecting!?” she snapped.

“And how many times do I have to tell you that you do!?” he shot back. “Jesus Christ, Hyerin, you’re not ing Superman. Things aren't the same anymore. Stop acting as if you’re so ing invincible, okay? Because it makes you look stupid!” he exclaimed.

Silence.

Hyerin blinked at him several times. “Did you just call me stupid?”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to answer, only to close it again.

She bit the insides of her cheek and gave him pained look. “You are the only person I never thought would ever call me that,” she said before storming out of the gym.

Luhan whistled. "Uh-oh. You made her upset, D.O.”

“Hyerin!” Chanyeol yelled after her. When she was already out the door, he turned around and glared at Kyungsoo.

“It’s not my fault!” Kyungsoo groaned defensively. “God, she’s so sensitive!”

“Or maybe you’re just an ,” Sehun said.

“Nevertheless, she really did get upset,” Suho said. “Things have been hard for her lately."

Kyungsoo clicked his tongue. "Goddamnit. It was way easier when we hated each other,” he muttered to himself before putting on a sweatshirt and walking towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked.

“Where else, ? I’m going to look for her,” he said, pushing the heavy doors and heading outside.

When he was gone, Luhan chuckled quietly. “He is so into her.”

“You can say that again,” Suho sighed, shaking his head good-naturedly before going back to practice.

---

Kyungsoo sighed.

“Really?” He raised a brow, watching Hyerin turn her back to him as she stood a few feet from the edge of the rooftop.

“What do you want?” she grumbled, eyes glued to the view of the city miles away from where they were.

Kyungsoo stood beside her. “Are you really that affected by me calling you stupid?” he asked incredulously. “I mean, seriously? Who knew you were so sensitive?”

“You are not making me feel any better,” she deadpanned. “Just go away, you stupid jerk.”

“Hey, now you’re the one calling me stupid!” he exclaimed. “Do you see me acting like a pansy? Hell no I’m not!”

“I was just trying to help earlier, okay? I’m sorry if I’ve been acting like a stupid drama queen lately!” She crossed her arms against her chest, looking away from him, before adding quietly, “Just because I act like a ninety-nine percent of the time doesn’t mean I can’t get upset over the things that are happening right now.”

She scooted away from him, irritated, and Kyungsoo knew he was doing this all wrong. He just made the situation worse. He came looking for her to cheer her up, but now she's twice as mad than she was earlier. He promised her that he’ll try to distract her from all the stuff that’s been going on, try to make her happy even just for a little, yet here he was, watching her fuming because of him.

He was horrible at this.

“I didn’t mean to call you stupid,” he said quietly. “I just got mad because I knew what you were thinking of doing if you went with the others to Hong Kong and I know it’s not a good idea,” he said, stepping closer to her as he watched the pretty view. “I know you’re planning to go there yourself and try to sort things out without anyone’s help.”

“I have my reasons.”

“They’re not enough to-”

“Kai kissed me,” she confessed, finally looking at him straight in the eye. 

For a second there was pause, and for the first time ever, she was scared of how he was going to react. His eyes flickered slightly as if wounded, but quickly hardened after.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked in a quiet, almost defensive voice.

“This is the reason why,” she said, voice strained and tired. “I’m trying to prove a point here, Kyungsoo. Things are falling apart. Tao got kidnapped, an unknown enemy is planning to destroy our city, and Kai hates Baekhyun. You know how all that came to be? It’s because of me. It's like I have some kind of curse or something.

“I know you’re trying to help me, but things are never going to be the same,” she said, backing away from him. “You won’t understand unless you’re in my position, Kyungsoo. It’s like one minute I'm so, so happy, but then nighttime comes and all the burden that came with my existence just attacks me and I feel so sad and I-” She stopped to catch her breath, breaking eye contact.

Kyungsoo stared at her the whole time, bewildered. “And you think this will all be fixed if you go on a mission by yourself? That’s ing suicide, Hyerin.”

“It’s the only solution.”

“No, it’s not!” he exclaimed. “Do you really think we’d let you do that to yourself? You think everyone would be happy if you went there by yourself? I already told you, Hyerin, stop playing hero!”

“Please just shut up,” she said, looking away.

“After that, what are you going to do? Since you’re such a martyr are you going to sacrifice yourself for us? And then after that, what? You think we’ll be rejoicing, thinking that you saved the day? Huh? Is that what it is?”

“I said shut up!”

“Make me!” he growled, standing dangerously close to her.

Silence engulfed them. She could feel her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she stared into his intense eyes. For a moment she had completely forgotten what they were even arguing about.

“Hyerin, you have to understand how much you mean to us,” Kyungsoo finally said, eyes softening. “And I know we mean a lot to you too since you’re so willing to sacrifice yourself for us but we’re not going to let you do that. I’m not going to let you do that.”

“Sometimes I just feel like it’s not worth it anymore,” she whispered.

“Of course it’s worth it, that stupid thing keeps you alive,” he snorted, pointing to her chest and ruining the serious moment between them. Hyerin cracked a smile.

“Look. You’re as important as anyone in this group,” he said. “We already lost Tao and I’m not going to lose you, too. I’m never going to let that happen again, Hyerin. Never.”

Hyerin gave him a small smile. “You’re just saying that.”

“No," he said. His fingers made its way up her spine to clutch the back of her neck, gently pulling her closer to kiss her on the forehead. Hyerin's breath hitched at the contact.

“I don’t think you realize how unbearably frightening it is to lose you,” Kyungsoo whispered into her hair, eyes fluttering closed. “Please don’t do anything reckless. I don’t think I'd be able to handle that.”

She felt her heart banging against her ribcage as she tried to control her breathing that was coming in short gasps. All because of this boy and his way with words.

Feeling as if the moment was getting too intimate, she joked awkwardly, “How is it that you can easily switch from a jerk to a complete angel?”

Kyungsoo gave her a playful smirk. “It works, though, doesn’t it?” he asked, finally releasing her.

“Yes,” she said, feeling much better. “It really does.”

---

A/N: tha drama tho

i only ask one thing from you guys. well, two things but anyway

please comment and if you don't mind

an upvote

plz thank and thank and plz