Big Step

Guts


Kai slammed Hyerin face down on the mat.

Hyerin squirmed out of his grip to no avail. He chuckled at her failed attempt and pressed his knee against the small of her back to prevent her from getting up.

“I win this time,” he laughed.

“This is ridiculous!” she exclaimed, annoyed. “That’s your third win in a row. Who would even get past your teleportation, really?” She sighed, frustrated. “This is so unfair.”

Kai laughed even harder as he let go of her wrists. They both collapsed on the mat wearily. “You know, you can actually beat me. You’re just so…”

“So what?”

“So temperamental,” Kai said, hiding the grin on his face with his hands. Hyerin punched him in the arm.

“Ow! See what I’m talking about!?” he laughed.

“Kai is right, Hyerin,” Agent Zero, who was sitting on a desk a few feet away from the sparring mat, said. “You really need to work on that temper of yours before it leads to your disadvantage,” he added, sipping on his coffee.

Hyerin scoffed and brushed away a lock of hair from her face. “Yeah, yeah,” she drawled, sitting up. Beside her, Kai snickered silently.

What?” she demanded with an attitude, despite the smile that was creeping up on her face.

“You need to loosen up, you know,” he said, scooting closer to her. “You’re always losing your cool. It’s like you're mad ninety-nine percent of the time.”

“Well, maybe that’s because I am,” she shrugged, looking up at Kai.

“Yeah right,” he sighed, tugging a strand of her hair playfully. “No one is angry all the time. You’re just too uptight. That’s all it is.”

Hyerin laughed, startled. “What is this, Kim Jongin? Is this a serious conversation? Are we actually having a serious conversation?”

Kai smiled knowingly. “I guess we are.”

“Psh,” she scowled, pursing her lips.

“Do that again.”

“Do what again?”

“That thing you did just now.”

“What thing?”

“That thing,” he said, smile turning devious. "When you pouted."

She rolled her eyes. “You are so stupid.”

“What? It was cute, do it again." He reached out to her face and squeezed the corners of her lips together. The result was comical and made Kai double over in laughter.

She slapped his hand away. “Quit it, ! I’m going to punch you!” she exclaimed. “And ew, don’t touch my face like that ever again. Did you even wash your hands?”

“Aww, don’t be such a wuss. Just one time, come on,” he said, pinching her cheek.

Stop. I’m not a baby, you son of a-” she pushed his hand away, “-!”

Kai locked her in a loose chokehold to piss her off even more and laughed and laughed and laughed. “You are such a hot-headed loser.”

“And you’re a stupid, immature jerk,” she retorted, folding her arms and refusing to look at the boy. She wanted to twist his arm but thought otherwise since he would probably just teleport to get away.

Kai gave her a lazy grin and pinched her nose to aggravate her further. “Take it easy,” he said, ignoring Agent Zero’s uncomfortable stare since they started their little quarrel.

“Uggggh,” she groaned.

Since day one, all she and Kai ever did was tease each other. It seemed like the only thing they knew how to do was bicker, with Kai and his flirty antics and Hyerin who snapped at practically everything he did. Although their silly banters were alright, she sometimes wondered if there was an end to the boy’s playfulness and that he might actually be able to hold up a serious conversation.

Just then, the rest of the boys and Agent M, with his usual glass of pinot noir, entered the training center.

 Kai stood up from the mat, helping Hyerin in the process. They bowed to Agent M before Kai asked, “So what’s all this?”

“I gathered you all here to give you a proposal,” Myungjae said, clapping his hands together. 

They looked at one another warily.

“What is it?” Xiumin reluctantly asked.

Myungjae sighed. “I am going to have to ask you boys,” he looked down on his glass, “to move in together.”

The room was consumed by silence as no one dared say anything. It was like Tao used his time control, and the only thing that changed was the sudden shift of expression on their faces.

“Now, I know this is all too sudden and out of the blue, but it is for the best,” he said. “When an unexpected occurrence happens, we cannot afford to be stalled or be late because of conflict in location. On your last mission, we were held back because of that, and we wouldn’t want it to happen again. Time management is the most important here.”

“But sir,” Kyungsoo spoke up. “What about…what about our families?”

“I’m sorry,” was all Agent M said. Agent Zero looked at the kids with concern before shaking his head. "All M-LX agents have their own private housing,regardless of position or rank. In the case of family, you can still see them of course, but not quite as often as you'd like since you will have training after school on certain days. I’m sorry this has to happen but you are all officially agents now. You have to be prepared at all times.”

Hyerin made her way beside her dad and he put an arm around his daughter securely. She kept her head low, knowing how hard it was to be separated from family.

“I will give you time to tell your guardians about this. Remember that you cannot expose your true intentions to them. If you need assistance in convincing them, we will gladly help and make a proper excuse for you,” he said. “That is all.”

---

Hyerin tapped her pen against her notepad, silently concentrating on breaking the difficult code given to them a few hours ago by the professor in charge of the Intellect Center at M-LX. It was not all that hard if you knew the formula, but seeing how the procedures were long and tricky, Hyerin had to do it over and over again.

This is stupid. She leaned back against her chair and tossed her pen on the desk. She was here to train her physical abilities, not this intellectual bullcrap, dammit.

She turned to look at Sehun beside her to see he was spacing out. His arms were folded on top of his desk and he was staring blankly at the tall bookshelf in front, his notes on the desk neglected. Hyerin wanted to flick him on the forehead, but something in his expression made her reconsider.

She nudged him lightly on the side. “Hey. You okay?”

Sehun’s eyes widened, clearly surprised at his own inattentiveness. He chortled weakly and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry. I guess cracking codes is getting to my brain.” He shrugged, taking his pen but never attempting to continue his work.

“Really…” she trailed off unwarily. She knew it was a bigger issue than that. “Why? Is something bothering you?”

“Huh? No, no! Nothing’s bothering me, I-” he said, looking down at his hands. “Like I said, it’s just…it’s just the codes and all.” He absent-mindedly fumbled with his elemental ring.

Hyerin’s eyes darted down to his fingers. “Is it about the moving in issue?” she asked cautiously.

“What?”

“It’s about that, huh?” she said. “You don’t want to move in.”

“No, it’s not. Well. Maybe, but-” Sehun ruffled his hair in defeat. “Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that’s it.”

Hyerin stared down on her lap. It was easy to find out what Sehun was thinking, and in this case, it was obvious that moving in was the thing that was bothering him, but now that she got that out in the open, what now? What was she going to tell him? Should she give him advice? Comfort him?

“W-Well,” she started, not sure if what she was doing was okay. “You can talk to me about it.”

Sehun’s brows furrowed as he looked at her. “What?”

“You can talk to me about it,” she said a little louder. “Why is moving in with the boys such a big deal that you can’t even concentrate on this properly?”

He looked like he was going to take it back for a second, but didn't.“The thing is,” he sighed. It was clearly not an easy subject to talk about. “My mother has depression.”

Hyerin held her breath as Sehun continued. “My parents just got divorced a few months back and we were all just devastated. She, especially, went through a hard time. She wouldn’t sleep and eat. Heck, there was a time she didn’t even want to talk to me,” he said. “She would break and drop things as if she’s too weak, or sometimes she would trip on everything. It’s been going on for quite a while now, but things are getting better due to medication, I guess.”

Hyerin nodded attentively, her work completely forgotten. She remembered that time she went to Sehun’s house, with his mother answering the door. She looked haggard and empty as if just looking at her made Hyerin feel stressed as well.

Sehun continued to fumble with his ring. “With my mother being in that kind of state, I can’t just leave her. She practically can’t do anything, so who will be there for her if not me? We only have each other from now on, and if I’m going to move out of that house I don't know what's going to happen,” he said, swallowing hard.

“Just by the thought of leaving her and something happening to her while I’m gone…I don’t know. I wouldn’t know what to do. It would crush her if she found out I’m going to leave home, and that would crush me, too.”

He put a palm to his face, trying to conceal his eyes that were slowly b with tears. “I’m supposed to take care of her, Hyerin. And I can’t do that without me being by her side. I know I’m still going to see her and all but I don’t want to see that same look on her face when dad stepped out of our doorstep for good. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know,” he said, roughly wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

Hyerin looked around the room. It was a good thing they were seated at a secluded spot in M-LX’s private library. She turned back to Sehun and thought about what to say. She honestly didn’t have any idea that this type of thing was going on in his life. He always looked so happy and cheerful that it never once crossed Hyerin’s mind.

Biting her lower lip, she hesitantly reached out to the hand that was covering his face. She carefully set it down on her lap, gently rubbing it with her thumb. She looked up at his face and wondered how long he had been holding back his tears.

“Sehun, I-”

She wasn’t used to this. The only time she ever consoled anyone was when Soojung was still around. “I think I understand you. Although I’ve never experienced a situation where I had to leave someone, I have experienced being left. And don’t get me wrong, it hurts a lot. But then, after quite some time, I grew to understand that it was meant to happen and that I should just move on.

“I guess in time, your mother will be the same too,” she said slowly. “Now I know it’s going to be hard, but at one point in your life, you’re going to have to make really hard decisions and you only have to choose one. I can’t tell you what to do, because it’s all really up to you. Somewhere, in there,” she placed a finger on his chest, “you know what the right decision is.”

At this point, Sehun was just staring at her, looking extremely confused and lost and afraid. It was pitiful, but she knew as she stared back, that there was a grown man inside him that could make perfectly wise decisions.

Without thinking much of it, she pulled him to her. Hyerin reluctantly wrapped her arms around him, his chin resting on her shoulder. Not for long, he was hugging her back.

“It’s not going to be easy, but I’m going to be here for you from now on. No matter what," she assured, and as she said it, she knew she had meant it.

The realization didn’t hit her immediately, but Hyerin was taking a big step that day; a step that would open her heart to a whole lot of different things.

 

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[guts] 71st chapter is up!

Comments

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idk----
#1
thank you for the story!
multifandomized #2
miss your works author-nim :((
shonwanigop
#3
💙🥰
Pxnellyxq #4
Chapter 50: but i want kai to be happy with her ?
Pxnellyxq #5
Chapter 36: Holy a screenshot of OG AFF
multifandomized #6
Chapter 71: I AM STILL WAITING FOR AN UPDATE,,, GOD KNOWS HOW LONG WE HAVE BEEN WAITING,,,,, i didnt know u also put your story here, since the last time i read this, it was on wpad,,,,, anyWAYS PLEASE COMEBACK ㅠㅠ
Thosemine01 #7
This is soo good
blackstardust
#8
Chapter 34: Hey, i have been following this story for so long as i can remember. And then i also remember trying to look for this story but was unable to find it. This week i just clicked the link to this story that i bookmarked years ago and i am so surprised that i found it again. I love love love this!!! Thank you for writing this!
DobuOnew
#9
Chapter 69: AHHHHH MY HEART!!!! I can't handle this .
DobuOnew
#10
Chapter 56: Ah man! The ending of this chapter! I really ... ugh. It always makes me cringe and feel shocked, powerless and desolated all at the same time. It's frustrating really, but it gives this story originality and life! I mean, damn never was I expecting this turn of events in the first place. And, every single time, I just feel so damn sorry for that little squishy!!!!