The Concept of Caring Too Much

Guts

Hyerin stared blankly down at her desk. She didn’t care less about school and everything that came along with it, so she usually used the time wasted in this hellhole to think about other things. Like her never ending problems, for instance.

She found herself stressing over stuff she wouldn’t have bothered thinking about a year ago, like figuring out what to do with their missions and finding a way to talk to her mysterious attacker. Then there were the other things like Chanyeol's protectiveness and her own temperamental issues. Although she would have normally dismissed it, she just couldn’t seem to not think about her little quarrel with him the other night. She felt incredibly guilty after their dispute, but Chanyeol needed to stop treating her like a baby. She more than appreciated his concern, but sometimes, it was a little too much.

The other boys didn’t help either.

“Man, if you saw Chanyeol this morning…he was a mess,” Xiumin said at lunch yesterday.

“He was sulking in class and looked brain dead,” Kyungsoo added, putting away his empty bowl. “You did some serious damage to him.”

“Hey, I don’t think it’s entirely my fault,” Hyerin said in her defense.

“Oh, yes it is. The only time I’ve seen Chanyeol like that was when they lost a game,” Kai said. “And trust me, that is the only time he sulks like that.”

“You guys are not helping! Why am I even sitting with you?”

“Guys, stop messing with her,” Suho said, rubbing her back. “It’s not her fault. She just spoke her mind.”

“Yeah, and look how that turned out,” Tao said, raising a mocking eyebrow at the girl.

Hyerin was disrupted from her train of thought when a hand slammed down on top of her desk. Her head jolted up, only to find a certain group of extremely irritating girls standing before her.

Right. They were also one of her problems now.

Hyerin leaned back against her chair and crossed her arms. “What do you want?”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Hara spat icily from behind Hyeseul. Hyerin almost laughed at her.

She shrugged uncaringly. “I guess I really don’t.” 

Hyeseul sat on top of Hyerin’s desk, crossing her legs and resting her elbow on her knees. “How many times do I have to tell you to make you understand? Stay away from them,” the chestnut haired girl hissed through gritted teeth.

“You don’t understand,” Hyerin started. “I can’t, okay? Even if I wanted to I can’t because there’s just something–you know what? Whatever. Just think whatever you want to think.”

“It’s such a simple order, you little ! Stay away!” she yelled, earning the looks of the other students inside the classroom.

Hyerin stared wide-eyed at the girl sitting on top of her desk. “Why the hell would I take orders from you?” she spat. “You’re not any of their girlfriend. You’re no one to them. They don’t know you and if they do, you’re probably just another girl. You’re as much as a nobody as I am. So can you just leave me alone?”

There was a brief moment of silence before a girl from the pack stormed over to Hyerin, about to slap her in the face. If not for Hyeseul’s arm blocking the girl’s way, she would have hit Hyerin.

“Stop,” their leader commanded.

Hyerin looked up at Hyeseul curiously as she stood up from the desk.

“Nobody, huh?” she said in an eerily quiet voice. She laughed bitterly before turning around to leave, the others silently following behind her.

“You seriously don’t know who you’re facing, Hyerin.”

---

Kai walked along the building’s empty hallway, whistling a happy tune with his chin up and his hands tucked in his pockets. It was already lunch, and he was the last to come out of their classroom due to some last minute revising of an essay.

He was peacefully making his way to the cafeteria when a hand grabbed the back of his collar and dragged him inside the janitor’s closet.

Kai’s instincts crept up on him and the first thing he did was pry this anonymous person off of him. But as he viciously whipped around to face his captor, the person had pushed him against the dusty wall, pressing a hand over his mouth.

He coughed from the disturbed dust, and his captor did, too.

Once the air had cleared up, he took a good look at the person and saw that it was only Hyerin.

He let his guard down and thought about what to say, but then resorted to what he did best; being sarcastic.

He raised his eyebrows at the girl pressed against him. Slowly, he grabbed her hand from his mouth and lowered it to speak.

“Wow, Hyerin. Aren’t we moving a little too fast here?” Kai teased. “I mean, not that I’m complaining, I just didn’t think you were that kind of girl, you know?”

"Eugh!" She rashly pulled away from him, flustered, and although he was laughing, he couldn’t shake the thought of how nice it felt with the girl so close to him.

“It’s not what you think! I’m not trying to pull anything. I just knew your first instinct was to hurt me so of course I would want to defend myself in some way,” she said, stepping back a few steps. For a minute there, she appeared bashful, but then returned to her usual snarky attitude. “But anyway, I brought you here for a reason.”

“And that reason is?” Kai asked, folding his arms and leaning back on the wall.

Hyerin let out a sigh. “Your crazy fangirls.”

When Kai gave her a blank stare, Hyerin continued, “They’re telling me to stay away from you guys."

“And why did you choose me to kidnap instead of the others?” he asked, unfazed.

“Well apparently, you’re their psycho leader’s ex.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Hyeseul, a sophomore. She’s in my homeroom,” Hyerin added.

Kai’s eyes darted up the ceiling, thinking hard. He had dated a lot of girls ever since he started high school, so it was pretty close to impossible that he would remember this girl, especially with such a common name like Hyeseul.

“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t remember her.”

Hyerin let out a groan of frustration. “See, this is why she’s so obsessed with you! You don’t even remember her. For Pete’s sake, you dated her, Kai.”

Please. I’ve dated tons of people and half of them I don’t even recall,” he said. “Who knows, we might have just had a little fling and maybe that’s just about it.”

“Well do something. She's being really bitter about it and taking it out on me.” She snorted at the stupidity of the idea. How can someone be jealous when they don’t even have the right to be in the first place?

Kai did nothing but look at her with complete mockery.

“What?” Hyerin asked after a moment of silence.

“You do realize that you can take on those girls any day right?”

“I know, but I don’t want to. I don’t want my reputation to get worse than it already is,” she said. “So I’m asking if you can talk to her.”

“C’mon Hyerin, it’s not anything you can’t handle.”

“But it’s not like they’ll listen to me.”

“Then there are other ways to make them.”

“That's the thing, I don’t want to!” Hyerin said. “I don’t want the situation to get so bad that I have to resort to…unfriendly ways.”

Kai chuckled. “That’s not what I’m saying. You’re good in a lot of things and I know you can talk them out of it. You want stuff to go your way and it does. You’re just that kind of person, Hyerin,” he said, walking over to the girl. “So what makes you think it’s any different with these girls?”

“Well, for one, they’re really pushy,” Hyerin scoffed.

“And that intimidates you?” Kai shot back.

“Psh. No,” she immediately answered.

“Exactly.” The boy gave her his trademark lopsided grin. “I believe in you, Hyerin. If you can handle night crawlers, mean girls are a piece of cake. You’re badass enough.”

Hyerin’s nose crinkled at his words. Trust Kai to make you feel embarrassed from his compliments. But then again, it made her feel that being herself was a good thing for once. At least he made it sound like it is.

“You’re just saying that so you won’t have to go through the trouble of talking to her,” Hyerin said, placing a hand on her hip.

“That’s one reason, but it’s mostly because I know you can handle it,” he said, poking her sides.

Hyerin let out a small unintentional squeak from the contact, slapping his hand away. He laughed, continuing with his poking. This went on for about a minute and somehow in the middle of it, Kai had managed to take her hand, pulling her to him to hold her in place. In return, Hyerin shoved his face playfully, making him laugh out loud.

Shaking her head good-naturedly, she was about to step away from him and leave when he pressed a hand on hers that was against his cheek. In surprise, her eyes shot back up at him, but instead of the mischievous expression he usually had, it was replaced with an unreadable one.

He didn’t tear his eyes away from her and she felt like melting under his gaze.

Out of the blue, she remembered Luhan and his similar antics. When Luhan did this, it really felt like he was just joking, a little stunt to embarrass her. But with Kai, it was entirely on a different level.

When he touched her or pulled her close it felt intimate, as if there were raw feelings present in his hold. She thought that this must be the reason why so many girls fall in love with Kim Jongin – he was incredibly misleading.

Ring!

Hyerin tore her eyes away from his as her phone started ringing in her pocket. Awkwardly, she stepped back, took her hand from his and fished out her phone. It was Kris.

“Sorry, I have to get this,” she said, giving him a small smile since she didn’t know what to do at the moment.

He looked slightly surprised himself, with a mixture of disappointment even. He nodded, tucking his hands inside his back pockets. “Yeah, go ahead.”

She gave him one last look before opening the door outside. She stepped out, and he did too, and from there they silently parted ways.

Finally, she answered the call. “Hello?”

“What took you so long to pick up?” Kris asked right away.

“Not even a simple hello?” Hyerin made her way outside of the building. “What’s up?”

“What exactly did you say to Chanyeol?”

Hyerin rubbed her forehead wearily as she headed towards the cafeteria. “Look, I know I was a little harsh on him, okay?”

“And still, you went on and lectured him?”

“Well…yes! I did, but I have my reasons, Kris. I can’t always have him clinging to me all the time! He keeps on worrying and worrying when we were in the middle of a–”

“He likes you.”

“–mission and that’s just…what?” She found herself slowing in her steps, coming to a full stop in the middle of the grassy field. “What did you just say?” she demanded.

“Are you that dense?” Kris sighed. “He obviously likes you, Hyerin. Why do you think he’s acting the way he does? He got mad at you that night because he cares a lot about you. Think about it. Right now.”

Hyerin looked down at the ground, eyes wide and mouth agape. She never thought about it nor even cared about the concept of someone liking her. Sure, he was clingy, but this was Chanyeol they were talking about. He had always been like that.

“Oh my god,” she whispered in mortification. “I honestly didn’t know.”

Kris rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

“Wha-” She ran a hand through her hair. “When did this start?”

“I'm not sure. Probably a while back,” he said. “Look, I know the last thing you would want to do is get caught up in this, but you have to do something about it. Chanyeol has been a mess days if you haven’t noticed and it’s all because of you.”

“But what do I do?” In all honesty, nobody had ever confessed to Hyerin. She had never received affection from anyone except her family. She had only ever gotten close to the opposite who wasn’t her brother and father when twelve certain boys decided to barge into her life.

“What should I do?” she repeated.

Kris was quiet for a while before giving a few suggestions of what course of action she should take.

---

It was not long before they were dismissed from their last period, indicating that classes were over and everyone was now free to go home.

Not for Hyerin, though.

Ever since her conversation with Kris earlier over the phone, her plans for the day completely changed. After school, she was supposed to go home, do her homework, and then visit Jonghyun in his apartment. After that, she would go straight to the Bistro Café and have a nice chat with Lay, maybe even call up the others like Sehun, Luhan and Tao to join them. But no, that was not how the day turned out. Instead, she was to stay in school, meet up with Kris, and hear out his plan about Chanyeol.

Without further ado, Hyerin made her way to the school’s second gym where the basketball team practiced. Kris told her to come at exactly 3:30 or he’ll ruin her, and she valued her life too much to disobey him.

So she was going there thirty minutes early.

After a couple of minutes walking, she finally arrived at Gym 2. She pushed the doors slowly, just in case there were people practicing already, one of them possibly being Chanyeol. The last thing she wanted was everyone’s attention on her, including his, and that would just be awkward.

When she walked in though, it was too silent for anyone to be practicing. The bleachers were empty and the only thing that lit the place was the afternoon sun seeping through the tall windows. Relieved, she walked further inside only to find out she wasn’t really alone after all.

To her shock, standing in the middle of the court was Kris, school blazer off and tie loosened, dribbling a ball in his hand. His forehead glistened with sweat, indicating that he had been playing actively for a while now.

Taking in a deep breath, his stance changed as he began to swiftly move around the court, oblivious to the girl watching him in awe.

Hyerin did not expect this kind of sight prior to walking inside the gym. She didn’t even expect him to be there yet in the first place. Kris was moving with expertise, seemingly comfortable navigating the court despite the unconventional uniform and tennis shoes.

He was amazingly good and it surprised her how much charisma he emitted. Although she was still confused as to why he was playing basketball and why he was so incredible at it, she couldn’t help but admire. Who would’ve thought this boy would have even more talent than what he already had?

“I thought you said you hated basketball,” Hyerin said aloud, sitting down on one of the floor bleachers.

Kris jumped in shock, looking like he just saw a ghost. For a second he stared at her as if he didn’t know what to do, but this was Kris, and soon his face neutralized and his shoulders relaxed.

He looked down and let out a raspy chuckle as he made his way towards her. “You’re here early,” he said raggedly.

“I am, but that’s beside the point.” She crossed her legs. “Mind explaining what that was about?” she asked, nodding towards the court behind him.

She expected him to say something biting like ‘none of your business’ or ‘that’s not your problem’ but instead, he let out a sigh and plopped down beside her. Hyerin looked on as he set his long legs apart, propped his elbows on his knees, then ran a hand through his growing golden locks.

Hyerin waited, but Kris didn’t utter a single word.

“Well?” she probed, her gaze set on the boy.

He sighed again, closing and opening his mouth occasionally to say something but willed against it. Hyerin was about to dismiss it when he finally spoke.

“Chanyeol moved to this school when I was in 8th grade. He was in 7th,” he started, startling Hyerin.

“I met him when I had to pass a late project to my teacher that was in his building. I was minding my own business when he caught my attention,” he laced his fingers together, “the idiot was walking down the hallway when he suddenly tripped on his own feet, stumbled around, dropped his books and ran into a wall. Everyone laughed at him.”

Hyerin nodded, telling him to go on.

“No one attempted to help him so I did. At that time he still wore his glasses, still had a lanky build and just plain awkward. When I helped him he had the stupidest grin on his face and thanked me. From then on he just started following me around everywhere and I guess that’s how we got close.”

He smirked. “Everyone was shocked to see me hang out with someone like Chanyeol. I was uncomfortable with people thinking he was weak, and so I told him to step up. I taught him how to play basketball,” he said. “At that time he didn’t know I was the captain of the middle school basketball team since he was unbelievingly oblivious to everything around him.”

Hyerin’s eyes widened as she turned to look at Kris. So he was the basketball team’s captain?

“This went on for a long time and before I knew it, Chanyeol got better and better. He realized this, too, and he told me he wanted to be the team captain once high school started.” Kris straightened up and leaned back casually against his seat. “While all that was happening I was already set to be the high school basketball team’s captain despite being a freshman. At this point, I was torn and I didn’t know what to do.”

She hesitated a bit before asking, “But what did you do?”

“Well, I told the coach I didn’t want to be the team captain anymore, even though basketball was pretty much my whole life. He was shocked, everyone in my team was, but I couldn’t let Chanyeol stand in the sidelines any longer when he had so much potential in him,” he said, the tone of his voice lowering. “Through the years of being a friend to him, I grew to genuinely care for him and be protective over him. I saw how much he wanted the position so might as well give it to someone worthy of it.” He turned to look at her. “The coaches liked him and from then on he continued to grow, making him as good as he is now.”

Hyerin blinked several times. “Did he ever find out that you were the team captain back in middle school and was supposed to be for high school?”

“No. It’s better to not let him know. Chanyeol’s a good kid, and he would feel guilty for taking the spot when we all know he deserves it,” he said, crossing his ankles together.

Hyerin bit her lip, feeling slightly bad for thinking such horrible things about Kris before. She regretted judging him when she didn’t even bother looking deeper into his personality. Now, with this newfound information, she saw him in a different light. He wasn’t this snobby arrogant honor student that he appeared to be; he was a simple guy who was nice enough to think of others before him.

“Did you ever regret giving the position away?” she asked with genuine curiosity.

“No. Chanyeol deserved it and knowing that he learned from me? It made me proud. Seeing him enjoying what he was doing and being recognized by people compared to when he was a nobody…it made me happy for him,” he nodded to himself, “and in a way, that was more than enough.”

Hyerin couldn’t help but have this bittersweet feeling inside her as she gave him a sincere smile. It amazed her how a person could give his everything to someone just like that, all because he cared for that person.

After that, the rest of the time they had together was spent conversing about various topics, from basketball to martial arts to politics. To her life. To his life. They talked about everything that it surprised them when the lights inside the gym switched on and a flock of varsities came rushing in. Of course, one of them was Chanyeol.

Kris and Hyerin watched him from afar as he fooled around with his fellow players. He stood out from the rest with his light-colored hair and red tracksuit with the collar covering almost half of his face.

“So what’s your plan?” Hyerin asked the boy beside her.

“This.” Kris grabbed a basketball beside him on the bench. Without so much of a warning, he aimed and threw the ball at Chanyeol, successfully hitting the boy in the back of his head.

“What the hell!?” Chanyeol whipped around angrily as he rubbed the spot where he got hit. Hyerin swore she could see his irises flash into an almost orange color.

“Chanyeol, come here!” Kris waved to him, unfazed by the boy’s anger.

Chanyeol calmed down a little when he saw the boy beside her, but it all faded away too soon when his eyes landed on Hyerin.

Her jaw tightened, noticing how his eyes softened slightly, looking almost hurt – afraid, even. Hesitantly, he passed the ball he was holding to another player as he made his way towards them.

Kris stood up and pulled Hyerin with him. “Go on.” He pushed her gently towards the boy.

This was Kris’ almighty plan? Hyerin looked back at him, giving him a what-the-hell-is-this-supposed-to-be look. Kris ignored her and walked towards the court to talk to one of his old coaches.

Realizing that she was now on her own, Hyerin turned to face Chanyeol. “So…let’s talk outside?” she asked. Chanyeol nodded once before leading the way.

Once they were out of the gym, Hyerin was faced with the most awkward situation she had ever been in. It was quiet out, with a couple of students lingering in the field and a few that were heading home.

Letting out a deep breath, she decided to just say what she wanted and needed to say to get it over with. “Listen, Chanyeol-”

She was halted in her words when he cringed as she started talking. He took a few steps back, his shoulders slightly raised and his head hung low.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning.

“I-I thought you were going to yell at me again,” he murmured, pulling up the collar of his tracksuit over his mouth. He looked at her with caution, like a child waiting for his mother to scold him.

“Chanyeol, I-” She cursed under her breath, at a loss of words. This guy was the last person that would ever avoid or be scared of her but here he was, looking like a terrified little puppy.

She was going to finish this once and for all. “Listen, Chanyeol. The other night, I didn’t mean to say that I don’t need your concern. I appreciate how you’re always worried about me and all that but…” She just couldn’t see him the same knowing that he liked her in a non-platonic way. “But whatever this is that’s triggering all that worry, perhaps, those feelings of yours…it has to be controlled. These things shouldn’t be mixed up with work and I know that you know that, Chanyeol," she said, looking at him unsurely. "Right?”

He met her gaze through his lashes and nodded slowly. “I understand,” he mumbled. “It’s just that I felt so worried about you. When you suggested breaking into that nightclub it sounded so reckless. It made me recall our first mission, how everyone was injured and how the place was ruined and then I saw you…”

He looked to be remembering the incident, his voice taking on a desperate tone. “I just felt this urgency to not let that happen again, that I wouldn’t want to see you like that. Ever.

“But that’s our job, Yeol. We will always be getting injured and the worst case scenario, some of us might even die,” she retorted. “I’m not trying to be negative about stuff like this, but like I said, personal issues shouldn’t be mixed up with work. I hope you understand that.”

Hyerin waited for him to talk again, but all he did was dejectedly look down, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol, I didn’t mean to-”

Chanyeol shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who’s sorry for thinking so immaturely about the situation. It was stupid to think about my personal when we have other things to prioritize.” He looked at her intensely before lowering his hand to his sides. “I always let my feelings get the better of me.”

Hyerin wished she understood. Understood the concept of caring for someone too much to the extent of, sometimes, not thinking rationally. For all these years, she always kept herself together that the thought of falling apart and shutting the world out completely because of one person seemed so foreign. Perhaps, it may be because she was too selfish to understand.

“Don’t say that as if it’s a bad thing,” she mumbled, rubbing her arms. “You’re lucky you even understand your own feelings. Some people don’t,” she said, nudging the boy. “So are we okay now?”

Hearing this, Chanyeol perked up instantly. It was obvious by the way he stood a little bit taller and how his eyes widened.

“Only if you let me touch you more often,” he said in a ridiculously childish tone despite the possible misinterpretation of his words.

"Uh," she gave him a pointed look, "no."

He chuckled slightly before looking down at her in a softer, much more serious way. “And if you at least let me look out for you once in a while. Like your protector except a little less corny. Would that be okay?”

Hyerin shook her head, but gave in eventually and laughed at the thought of Chanyeol as some kind of bodyguard. Nonetheless, she decided that there was no harm in that.

“I think that would be okay.”

 

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Comments

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idk----
#1
thank you for the story!
multifandomized #2
miss your works author-nim :((
shonwanigop
#3
💙🥰
Pxnellyxq #4
Chapter 50: but i want kai to be happy with her ?
Pxnellyxq #5
Chapter 36: Holy a screenshot of OG AFF
multifandomized #6
Chapter 71: I AM STILL WAITING FOR AN UPDATE,,, GOD KNOWS HOW LONG WE HAVE BEEN WAITING,,,,, i didnt know u also put your story here, since the last time i read this, it was on wpad,,,,, anyWAYS PLEASE COMEBACK ㅠㅠ
Thosemine01 #7
This is soo good
blackstardust
#8
Chapter 34: Hey, i have been following this story for so long as i can remember. And then i also remember trying to look for this story but was unable to find it. This week i just clicked the link to this story that i bookmarked years ago and i am so surprised that i found it again. I love love love this!!! Thank you for writing this!
DobuOnew
#9
Chapter 69: AHHHHH MY HEART!!!! I can't handle this .
DobuOnew
#10
Chapter 56: Ah man! The ending of this chapter! I really ... ugh. It always makes me cringe and feel shocked, powerless and desolated all at the same time. It's frustrating really, but it gives this story originality and life! I mean, damn never was I expecting this turn of events in the first place. And, every single time, I just feel so damn sorry for that little squishy!!!!