Defining Normalcy

Defining Normalcy

There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.”

- Neil Gaiman

“I'm not trying to change you! Why are you jumping to conclusions? I'm only trying to get you to accept yourself! Why is that so hard for you?!” Zitao shouted, jumping up from the bench.

“Because maybe I have accepted myself! I've accepted the fact that I'm this-this monster, this abomination, this freak! You're the only one not accepting it in this godforsaken town!”

“You're only accepting what the town made you! This isn't the Wufan that was born here 18 years ago...this is the Wufan that this village targeted and ruined! Just open your eyes and see that for once!”

Wufan stood up suddenly, towering over Zitao. “The second I first opened my eyes, I was shunned from the start,” he hissed. “Maybe it's just better to keep them closed, don't you think?”

“If you kept your eyes closed your whole life, you'd miss out on a lot. Would you really want to live your life like that? It's not like you're doing too good of a job right now however, so I guess it's your choice on what would be worse,” Zitao huffed, narrowing his eyes.

Wufan sighed in frustration. “Look Zitao. This is who I am. No one can change this, not even I can at this point. It's too late for me, I'll always be the reject, the outcast, the abnormality in humanity. You may've found your way out of this, but I can't. Because...” Wufan turned his head, his voice instantly losing it's spark. “Because you're right, ok? This village made me, they made me this monster, but that's just what I became. You can't change that Zitao. Neither can I. Because it's me now.”

“The only reason you'll never change is because you have that attitude about it,” Zitao argued. “If you ever want to actually try to become a better person and figure yourself out, you know where to find me,” he sighed, turning around. “See you around I guess,” he murmured, unfreezing time just for a strong gust of wind to hit them, stirring up the dust from the ground and rustling the leaves in the trees. As he opened the door to the school, he turned to face Wufan again. “Bye Wufan.”

“You're giving up?” Wufan asked before Zitao could actually enter the building, surprise coloring his tone. “Just like that? I thought you said you were strong.”

Zitao shut the door again and spun around to look at Wufan. “I am. But I can't help you. Not until you figure out how to help yourself. I can't do this if you're unwilling to do it, it would be pointless and a complete waste of both of our time. I want to help you, but you're making it impossible.”

Wufan scoffed. “I knew you'd never be able to do it. I'm a lost cause, right? Too worthless and horrid to fix at this point, huh? Admit it; the only reason you're giving up is because I'm just in too far already.”

“Don't say that,” Zitao whispered, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “I'm not giving up on you, Wufan, I'm giving up on trying to make you a better person. Because you clearly don't care either way. Why should I bother?”

“I'm not saying you should,” Wufan said, “but that doesn't mean you aren't going back on your word already. You keep telling me I'm weak and I'm the one that needs to change, but why don't you take a look at yourself? You can't help everybody, so stop trying.”

“So what? You want me to stop trying to be a good person?” Zitao snapped. “Everything I've done concerning you up to this point has been to try and make you feel normal. Yeah, I can be bratty and annoying, but whatever. It's because that's just who I am. I'm not perfect, and neither are you, but you know what? I cared about you. Sorry that interfered with your life so much!”

Wufan scowled, his tail angry twitching behind him. “You'll regret this one day, Huang Zitao,” he spat, narrowing his eyes. Wufan gave the younger one last look before turning away from the school and walking back into the village.

Zitao frowned after the older boy, but eventually went back into the building instead of choosing to follow. When he made his way back into the lunchroom, he was met with every pair of eyes in the room staring back at him, questioningly, expectantly, curiously. He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, making his way over to Yixing and Luhan.

“How long was I gone?” he asked softly, when neither boy said anything in greeting.

“About 2 minutes,” Luhan raised an eyebrow. “How long was it really?”

“About half an hour,” he bit his lip. “Wufan's stubborn,” he muttered after a minute.

“I take it things didn't go well?” Yixing asked. Zitao shook his head.

“No, not really,” Zitao mumbled, resting his chin in his palm. “He refuses to acknowledge the possibility of being able to fit in and be a regular person. He seems set on condemning himself to a life of misery, not accepting any other form of reasoning or help. He doesn't want any help at all, actually, he just wants to keep putting himself down.”

Neither Yixing nor Luhan seemed to have a response to that, and instead just glanced at each other helplessly.

The rest of the day was filled with more mindless gossip ringing through his ears and even more suspicious and curious stares. At least this time he had Luhan and Yixing with him, so he didn't feel quite as alone.

But then the rumors started drifting more and more towards Wufan, with theories on what Zitao did to him to make him leave, why the new kid was so interested in him, why Zitao had hugged him, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

However, Wufan didn't show up the next day. Or the next day, or the day after that, or even the week after that. He wasn't attending school and he apparently hadn't gone home when he left that one Monday. He wasn't in the village at all anymore. Zitao had been the last person to see him.

This, naturally, upped the rumors, stares, questions, and whispers. Some people gave glares that were more vicious than before, obviously assuming the worst when Wufan had suddenly disappeared after being with Zitao for less than 5 minutes. Some gave looks of fear, thinking Zitao had managed to murder Wufan with no one knowing. Zitao could only sigh so much.

“It's my fault,” Zitao said one day, weeks later on their walk home from school. Even though Zitao hadn't talked about that day since Wufan was declared missing, Yixing and Luhan didn't even have to ask what the younger was talking about.

“Are you sure?” Luhan asked anyway.

“It has to be, right? He was so angry when he was talking to me, and then he just stormed off. That's the last anybody's seen of him, I must've done something to make him disappear like this.”

“You know how Wufan is,” Yixing said, in an attempt to comfort.

“No. I don't,” Zitao argued. “I knew him 3 days. Only 3. I didn't know him. I thought I did, but how could I? I knew nothing about him and yet I tried to change him...which he obviously didn't like. He's gone because of me.”

“Don't say that,” Luhan murmured, slinging an arm around Zitao's shoulders. “Wufan just...I bet he'll come back eventually. I don't know why he left, but I highly doubt he's dead or never returning. He'll be back and maybe then you can figure out what goes on in his head.”

Zitao didn't reply, and instead took to kicking rocks in the dirt yet again, a habit that he had developed when he didn't have anything to say.

“Look, Wufan can be really impulsive,” Yixing said after a minute, “so he tends to do things without fully thinking them out. That's probably why he left; he was angry or whatever and decided he needed some time to himself, away from the town. That doesn't really explain why he hasn't come back, but I bet that's why he disappeared,” he shrugged.

Yixing's words offered little comfort, as it still didn't provide an answer of where Wufan was, or if he was still alive. Zitao had never felt so guilty in his life.

School gradually got worse for him as well. Some students turned cruel, worse than Wufan had been. Zitao didn't quite understand all the hate, as no one had seemed to care about Wufan before he had arrived. Why did they only choose to care once he was gone?

Zitao drifted through the days, each day feeling more and more of his conscience weighing down on him than the day previous. It was hell and Zitao began wondering if this is how Wufan felt everyday.

The days were bad, but the nights were even worse; Zitao found it more difficult to sleep as of late, Wufan always on his mind instead. He wondered what made him so concerned about this boy he hardly knew, why he felt such guilt for him leaving, and what could possibly possess him to feel so strongly about helping him.

“Maybe you like him,” Luhan suggested when Zitao asked for advice one day. “I don't know, if you think about him that much, maybe you started liking him somewhere along the way. It would make sense. Do you like him?” he asked curiously.

“I-I never really...thought about that,” Zitao stuttered, raising his eyebrows. It would make sense with all the endless thoughts and general emptiness he felt. But that wasn't quite the answer he wanted to hear. “I bet it's something else though. I mean, what if he's dead? It'd be my fault. That's plenty of a reason to be thinking about him a lot.”

“You know...it's not a bad thing to like him. He's good-looking and if you got him to open up to you in only a few days, at least a little, there's a line of trust somewhere mixed in with all that hate and avoidance,” Luhan shrugged.

“Sometimes I don't know if you're trying to be optimistic or satirical...” Zitao muttered.

“Optimistic, I just come off as sarcastic sometimes,” Luhan shrugged again. “But I mean it, if you like him...not that there's much you can do about it right now, but it's not necessarily bad.”

“I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't...I can't,” Zitao mumbled.

“Why not?” Luhan asked, cocking his head to the side in question. “It's perfectly reasonable. I don't think anyone here would think any less of you...not saying that half of them particularly like you right now anyway, but you know what I mean.”

“You're horrible at trying to make me feel better about any sort of existing or nonexisting feelings I may or may not have for Wufan,” Zitao grumbled.

“Suit yourself,” Luhan sighed.

The days seemed to blur past and yet inch along at the same time. Zitao wasn't sure how he felt when he realized it had been over 2 months since Wufan had left. He was still having sleepless nights and he was fairly certain at least half the village didn't trust him anymore, as he was getting more and more distrustful looks everyday, more rude remarks, and too many blatant avoidances to count.

At one point, Zitao had almost convinced himself that Wufan had left just for this exact reason; for Zitao to be shunned and ostracized like he had been his whole life. It would almost make sense in some demented way, but he felt Wufan wasn't brave enough to do something that extreme.

“Why am I so attached to this boy that I don't even know?” he asked Yixing on their way home from school one afternoon, a miserable ring in his tone. “I shouldn't be, I hardly know anything past his name...yet I just can't stop wishing he'd come back.”

“You guys had that common link with your abilities, maybe?” Yixing guessed. “He was probably the only one around here that you felt you could really understand or something like that...because you both led precarious lives, but you just handled them differently.”

Zitao hesitated. “...maybe,” he mumbled. “I just...I feel like everything's ten times more complicated when it comes to him and I don't know why.”

“Well, maybe Luhan was right then, you might like him or something. That's always a possibility.”

“But I just can't like him, really, I ca-”

“But you can! Why do you have to insist that you can't?” Yixing interrupted.

“Because he could never like me back,” Zitao spat angrily, turning to glare at Yixing. “I'm not subjecting myself to a one-sided love, it's not smart. Besides, what if he never comes back? Then I'll just be hopelessly in love with a brief memory. Even if I do like him, I shouldn't.”

“Whatever you say, Zitao,” Yixing replied, clearly miffed at being snapped at.

Zitao couldn't find it in himself to care as much as he should have. His mind felt constantly fuzzy and clouded and he just wanted everything to be alright again.

A few days passed, and for once, Zitao was getting a rare night of sleep, when suddenly there was a rumble from outside followed by a loud knock at the door, which succeeded in waking him up. Zitao dragged himself out of bed and walked to the door cautiously. It was the middle of the night and it certainly wasn't like he was expecting anybody at this time. He threw open the door anyway, realizing in his sleep-hazed mind that if it was a threat, he could just stop time.

He wasn't prepared to be engulfed in a hug, however. He was surprised and incredibly confused as to why someone was hugging him, and it didn't click who it was until the other person whispered a quiet "thank you."

Zitao pulled back immediately at that, the other boy's arms around his hips preventing him from going very far.

"Wufan?" he breathed, feeling like his eyes were deceiving him. "You-you're bac-"

Wufan cut him off by pulling him to his chest again, hugging him tightly. Zitao was still bewildered, but then Wufan started talking.

"That day...I'm sorry. You were right from the beginning, I was so weak," he murmured, arms tightening around his waist, his chin hovering above Zitao's shoulder so his mouth was next to the younger's ear. Zitao could only watch the older boy's tail flit calmly behind him, almost serenely, as his mind didn't seem to be able to process much else. "I took it out on you. You weren't supposed to be right, you were supposed to see me as the monster I was. But then you gave up on me...and I wanted to prove you wrong. I wanted to show you what I had kept telling myself I couldn't do...and I did it. I changed, Zitao, I really did. I went to Longmaeul and I got help. I'm not a monster anymore, I promise."

Longmaeul. That was certainly a name Zitao recognized. Longmaeul was a large city on the other side of the country. Zitao had been there once for a couple weeks while his parents tried desperately to erase all of the rumors spread around about him. It was largely populated by people with abilities, and was considered nothing more than a rumored fantasyland to people with no powers. It certainly made sense that Wufan would go there of all places.

And yet, Zitao could only stand there in shock, not quite realizing or understanding why his eyes started watering, but he hugged Wufan back anyway.

"You've been gone 2 1/2 months, everyone thought you were dead," he mumbled, his fingers clutching at the back of Wufan's shirt. "Most people blamed me."

Zitao noticed how the older's tail seemed to just stop moving and seem to thump to the porch in despair. "They blamed you?" Wufan asked quietly, pulling away so they were face to face. "I never meant for that..." he trailed off softly, bringing his hand up to hold Zitao's cheek, tilting the younger boy's head up to face him in the process. “That's not why I left.”

"I finally understood where you were coming from when you talked about this village. I was at least lucky I have a few friends, but this place...this town just gives off bad vibes. They know how to single people out and...well, you know how it goes," Zitao murmured, placing his hand over Wufan's. "Funny, isn't it? We both changed into something we never thought we would. You're happy and normal and I'm...I'm depressed and ruined."

"Like you said, it's this village. It's too small, too standard...when I was in Longmaeul, nobody even cared about my tail, hardly giving a second glance because they didn't care about the differences. I wasn't used to that...I fit in for once. I wasn't the freak. But this place just targets people. I'll help you remember how to be Zitao again."

They stared at each other for a minute, neither moving their hands, before Zitao broke the silence. "I guess you're finally ready for Step 4 then, huh?" he asked, his face breaking out into a smile.

Wufan smiled back, the first smile Zitao had ever seen cross the older's face, and he couldn't help but admire how beautiful it looked. "You'll have to remind me what Step 4 was, it's been a while."

"Be free," he whispered, his hold on Wufan's hand tightening.

"How do you propose I do that?" Wufan asked, bringing his other hand up to cup Zitao's other cheek.

"Leave," Zitao replied. "Escape from this town. Don't let yourself be chained down by the people here and let yourself be free."

Wufan hesitated for a second. "Come with me," he murmured.

"What?" Zitao asked in surprise, raising his eyebrows.

"Come with me- you don't need to be chained down by this place either, we can be free together. Somewhere no one knows who we are or anything about us. We can escape," Wufan smiled again, his eyes shining brightly.

"But what about Luhan and Yixing? I can't just...leave them here..." he mumbled, glancing in the directions of their houses unconsciously.

"They're smart, they can figure their way out of this place. Please Zitao," he pleaded, the younger's cheek with his thumb. “Let's be free together.”

"Where would we go?" Zitao asked.

"Anywhere. Everywhere. It doesn't matter, we have ways to go wherever in this world we want."

Zitao didn't answer for a minute, but once he met Wufan's eyes, he grinned. "Ok," he whispered.

And then Wufan kissed him and Zitao found he wasn't surprised. It was soft and sweet and short, but Zitao realized how much this signified to Wufan.

"I've wanted to do that for the past month," Wufan mumbled, pulling away slowly. "Thank you, Zitao, thank you so much."

"For what?" Zitao asked, looking into Wufan's eyes, their noses barely brushing against each other.

"For helping me change," Wufan replied, moving his hands down to Zitao's hips and leaning his forehead against the younger's.

"But I didn't do anything though; you got help in Longmaeul," Zitao muttered, brushing a strand of hair away from Wufan's eyes. “I just sat around here and moped for the past 2 and a half months.”

"If you hadn't shown up, I wouldn't have tried to get help at all though. I wanted to change because of you," Wufan insisted.

You said before you just wanted to prove me wrong, you went to Longmaeul to show me up. That's not changing for me, Wufan...it's more revenge than anything,” Zitao said, finally pulling away and taking a few steps back.

Wufan frowned and grabbed Zitao's hand, beginning to play with his fingers instead. Zitao just watched curiously. “That's what it was like at the start. I wanted to prove to you that I could change, but I could and would do it without your help. But then...” he paused, pursing his lips, “then I realized you were the only motivation that I had to go through with it. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have even tried to do anything different with my life. I would still be boring, mean, bitter Wufan...dying from the inside out.”

Zitao bit his lip. “Wufan...”

For once in my life, I feel alive. I feel human. I feel normal. And it was thanks to you,” Wufan finished.

Where did all this come from? I mean, it's not like I don't feel the same way,” Zitao felt his cheeks heat up, “but I wasn't expecting...all this.”

Wufan smiled. “Because...even if it was only for a couple days...you cared about me. You wanted me to change because you didn't want to see me be miserable, it wasn't for some personal gain...it was because you cared. And nobody else in my entire life has ever cared about me like that. Not even close.”

Well, I promise I'll continue caring, as long as you return the favor,” Zitao replied, sticking his tongue out childishly.

Forever,” Wufan hummed, focusing his attention Zitao's hand again.

Last time you saw me, you told me the more you got to know me, the more you disliked me. How's that holding up for you?” Zitao asked after a minute of watching Wufan.

Wufan smirked. “Well I haven't seen you for 10 weeks, so I can't really say I've gotten to know you any better. But I think that might have reversed itself somewhere along the way...I feel like the more I learn about you, the more I'll like you.”

Zitao grinned, turning his gaze to the starry sky. “We've got a lifetime to learn about each other now. When do you think we should start?” he asked, looking at Wufan again.

Right now,” Wufan said softly, placing a light kiss on Zitao's forehead. “Lifetimes aren't forever, after all.”

Then we better make the most of it, right?” the younger replied, now gripping Wufan's hand.

I think that'd be best,” Wufan smiled, spreading his wings slowly.

6 hours later, Yixing and Luhan discovered Zitao missing, all his stuff still where it had always been. All that was left behind from the younger was a short note, placed inside the mailbox in front of his house.

Luhan & Yixing-

I'll always remember you guys, thanks for sticking by me through all this. Wufan came back, crazy huh? We've left, off to explore the world and all that. Don't stay too attached to this place, it's not a place to be burdened to for the rest of your life. Maybe I'll see you guys later in life somehow...even though I was only here for a few months, you two were probably the people I trusted most in my entire life. I'll miss you both.

-Zitao ♥

And below that, in a different, more illegible, scrawl:

Don't let this town ruin you like it ruined me. You two are smarter than that, I know that much. And if it's any consolation, just know that Zitao will always be safe with me. We sort of came to a mutual agreement to stay together forever, too. Not sure if that's reassuring to you or not, but he's changed me for the better...I'm normal now.

-Wufan

 

 

 

Ta-dah~!!! Was it good? ^^ I hope so...but Part 3 is just this mish-mash of “I-don't-even-know-what” and general weirdness, so...(no seriously, this last part just makes no sense at all to me, I don't understand my brain)

Again with my classic “Kris must always be a ” role, whoops...I need to start writing him differently...

4 points that need to be pointed out: 1) I don't know why I gave Tao half of EXO's powers. It was originally just time, but I felt like he needed something else...so yeah... 2) I find it awkward that I made Xiumin and Chen brothers...considering I ship Xiuchen. Oops. 3) Hangeng was also supposed to cameo in this fic, but his part got cut (the ultimate irony...). He was actually supposed to have powers too, but then I realized I'd have to rewrite half the scenes to include him and I also couldn't think of a good power for him. 4) Yes...I realize how many holes there are in this fic, including the majorly obvious “wouldn't all people with abilities be affected all over the world whenever someone uses their powers?”...to put it simply, this isn't having a sequel/prequel/sidestory or anything, so it really doesn't matter to me.

Did you figure out how I got the names? Yong = Korean word for dragon; Cun = Chinese word for village; Long = Chinese word for dragon; Maeul = Korean word for village...well, some of those are from Google Translate so that mightn't be the most trustworthy source, but whatever, it works...

I was bored yesterday and decided to make a quick little shop of what Kris would look like in this fic for fun...I literally did this in less than 10 minutes, don't think this is the best I can do in Photoshop ._.

There's probably some moral you can take from this (always believe in yourself, don't put yourself down, always try to be a good person, etc.), but I'm too tired to think of one (it's currently 4:45 in the morning and I need to “wake up” in less than 3 hours for my flight even though I haven't slept in 2 days! Yay!!!...not). There's probably some, like, anti-moral here too; always be normal! Well...in case you didn't get it, the word “normal” is supposed to refer to just...not being a monster, not necessarily being a clone of everyone around you like it would probably usually be used. Or something like that. It's 4:45. My brain doesn't work at 4:45.

Yeah, so...I realize this wasn't fluffy. Or funny. I think I started channeling ABC a little with some of the dialogue in parts, but this was mostly just written because it seemed like an interesting idea and I wanted to improve my writing...so...sorry about it being kinda boring ^^;;

Anyway, thanks for reading~!!! Love you all~ :D

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xiu_mine
#1
Chapter 3: Ok.. So I just felt the ending was a little rushed. I am guessing that since this is supposed to be a one shot thus you opted for the least complicated way to wrap the story up. Nonetheless the characterizations are good, the dialogues are witty and there's a moral lesson to it! I wouldn't ask for more and I deliberately ignored the plot holes though I must agree XiuChen is awkward (that's coming from a non-shipper like me lol) but hey the appearance of Exo M is sweet! I like this fic to be very honest...
xiu_mine
#2
Chapter 2: Zitao's adorableness and Wufan's exasperation are a deadly combination. They're killing me with feels! Gaaaahhhh!
Uraacaa #3
Chapter 3: I love your writing. It never surprises me of how well you put the plot, character, and settings together to make a great story!
alpalca_exo2
#4
Chapter 3: its jjang author nim :) i really love your story good jobb :)
strawberryberrys
#5
Chapter 3: Ah, the little fluff at the end was cute. ^^ I think the moral behind this whole thing is really good, and it's something that has bothered me for a whole. See, it's not like I've been ostracized for being who I am or anything, it's just... I know what society can do to people. They shape them, they mold them, and the hardest part for me is seeing the victim start to believe it as well. It hurts to know this, and I can't help but dispise society for this. Can't they just accept that differences are normally? That it's what makes life wonderful?
Meh. Enough of that. Thank you for a beautiful fic. :) Off to go stalk you some more~
Cho-Phanes
#6
Chapter 3: I love the story, the beginning is very interesting. Well, it feels like Twilight, sorry no offense. Because Kris was monster, and Tao is the only one who did not freak out about that matter. It is not what I thought it would be, but still it is interesting...
thechaeser
#7
That was amazing.
And I almost though you got 'Yongcun' from the martial art 'Yongchun' x)
valentina
#8
that was amazing!!!
i loved it!!!:D:D
eXosphere
#9
Aha, I was starting to wonder how Kris would come back since nothing seemed to indicate that and I was already on the last chapter! But this was good. Really reaaaaaaaaaally good. I liked it a lot! And you know that grin on your face and that happiness that makes you teary? Yeah. <3
Thanks for the awesome story! <3