December, Bejing China

I left Jin Woon that night. Right after he had dried my tears with his shirt, of all things, I walked out of the apartment and his life.

And the next afternoon at 3pm, I left Seoul for home. My real home - Beijing. The weather was chilly in Korea but when the plane touched down, the frigid cold and a harried Kris greeted at the arrival date. Snowstorms had hit Beijing earlier this year and decided to freeze the Chinese capital over. Kris had the foresight to bring along my quilted puffer jacket that had been left behind at home.

His thoughtfulness was something that I had sometimes taken for granted. Yet as my welcome party of one quickly made sure I was warm before we dashed out into the almost sub zero temperatures, it was a reminder of how being with such a man for the rest of my life was really not much of a tragedy.

Although Kris was positively grey and there was a tell-tale clench in his jaw. Did something happen when I was not around?

“Welcome back, Miss Yi Yun,” The chauffeur was bundled up too. Although I had always been uncomfortable with the salutation the help at the Wu residence attached to my last name, hearing Chen call me that brought me back sharply to earth.

“How are you, Old Chen?” I asked while wondering to myself whether I was glad to be back after a year. It seemed that I had lived a lifetime and some more. My ears felt the cold too - winter had to be the only time I missed my long hair.

The affable chauffeur updated me with twelve months of the gossip from the Wu residence. My companion however didn’t make a peep. Was Kris still suffering from jetlag or did he have a cold? My best friend didn’t deal that well with frosty weather too. “Is everything alright, Yi Fan?” I whispered, careful not  to interrupt Chen’s monologue.

There was a look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite decipher. Our gazes connected before he turned to look out of the window with a gruff, “Yes.”

Slightly hurt by Kris’ out of the ordinary snippy behaviour, I returned my attention to the chauffeur who had now whipped out pictures of his newborn grandchild, although at the back of my mind, I was worried about my friend - perhaps he had sense my reluctance to leave Korea and also Jin Woon?

When we got to the guest house, Kris silently helped me with my suitcase and left for the main residence. Normally, he would hang around until I chased him back. I mused over his peculiarity as I shut the main door. My mother quickly embraced me and I realised that Kris had not welcomed me at the airport with the usual hug and kiss like always. I couldn’t decide whether I missed it or not.

“Did Yi Fan go back already?” My mother was an elegant character. Uncle Wu told me that she and my father had been worlds apart. He may have been super at science but I learnt from Uncle Wu that he was very much the athlete too. I probably took after him more than I did after Mama. One reason why I enjoyed living in another country was the freedom I had from her insistence that I develop lady-like traits. I did love her though - we just had one of those typical mother-daughter relationships - I appreciated her more when we lived in different countries.

“Yups, he did. He’s acting weird though,” I returned her hug.

Mama laughed. Everything about her was delicate, including her laughter that sounded like chimes. Occasionally, my own mother made me feel like a water buffalo. “So everything is settled for California?”

“I guess so.” We spoke over the phone every week, my mother had not yet embraced technology. She didn’t have to say anything yet I could tell even by the tone of her voice when I had informed her of my plans to do a semester in LA that she was relieved for me to be taken care of Kris, despite me surviving well on my own all this time in Seoul. “How has everything been, Mama?” Kris and I made a point to spend the winter holidays back in Beijing. Our families weren’t religious but since we didn’t see our parents much in summer when we were in Tokyo,it seemed natural to want to be with our relatives for Christmas and the festive season, since we could not skip school for the one important festival in China - Chinese New Year.

Laying my suitcase on the ground, I pond