Kyuhyun stood silently in the bathroom of the Super Junior dorm after he had taken a shower. His eyes were slowly trailing down his hideously deformed body. It definitely wasn't the perfection that most fans expected from an idol. Their fans always thought that idols possessed a perfect body, something flawless. That was definitely wrong however. That was definitely a lie. It was definitely the imaginations of fans. Kyuhyun wasn’t even sure how such a lie became the people's truth.

Truthfully speaking about it, most idols didn't have a perfect body. Well, Kyuhyun didn't anyway. His body was nowhere near perfect. In Kyuhyun's cold yet meaningful eyes, nobody in the world would have wanted to have such a destroyed body like his. There was no way such a scarred body would be called the distinct word 'perfection'. The word 'perfect' burned in Kyuhyun like fire. Whenever Kyuhyun compared his body to 'perfection', it became the same distance as Earth to Heaven.

Kyuhyun grimaced slightly as his hands slowly grazed over and around the horrid marks decorating his pale skin. A large and faded scar was placed over his broad chest and down to his stomach. There were also little, red cuts were on other parts of his skin. More recently made scars. The more Kyuhyun moved his body, it would sting and begin to bleed slowly. On Kyuhyun's back, there was a dark purple bruise. It seemed to enlarge as time passed. Not to mention the other oddly coloured areas of his body. Kyuhyun had paranoia when it came to it; he didn't want anybody else to see the marks left on his flesh. This was why Kyuhyun never showed his chest to the public or anyone else, he didn't want anybody to see or comment on it. Kyuhyun was scared of people seeing him.

Kyuhyun forced an unbearable smile to his lips; he couldn't show a frown now. He couldn't take off his mask anymore. From scratch, Kyuhyun had built his whole life up. Wearing a fake mask of his emotions, he had gained everything he needed in this life. Well, nearly everything he needed. He had gained worldwide fans, he had gained loyal friends, he had gained a safe home and he had gained a trusted occupation. Sadly, Kyuhyun didn't gain the heart which he desperately needed. A hollow and empty hole took the place of where Kyuhyun's heart was supposed to be.

The most important part of Kyuhyun's body was missing. There was no heart. Kyuhyun was unable to feel anything at all. The only feeling beside the torturing numbness was sadness. Pain itself was nothing to him. At least, now it was. Kyuhyun had felt so much pain before in his past, cutting himself by accident or getting hurt was nothing anymore.

The pain he felt now couldn't even compare to what he had felt before as a child and teenager.

A sharp knife being pressed onto the skin on purpose, or a punch and kick strong enough to cause someone to cough up blood, it's basically nothing compared to a simple graze. Thus, Kyuhyun couldn't even feel the pain anymore. He had become used to the way it stung. Kyuhyun learned how to not cry in pain and hold it all in his throat. He had learned not to cry. The reason? Well, if he did cry out in pain like he did when he was younger, a stronger beating surely followed.

"Kyuhyun-ah?" Somebody knocked on the door. Kyuhyun quickly snapped out of his world.

"Y-Yes?" Kyuhyun replied, quickly getting dressed.

"You've been in there for a while, is everything alright?" Kyuhyun recognized that tone of voice, it was Siwon.

"Everything's fine. I was just spacing out." Kyuhyun forced a light hearted laugh out of his throat and looked in the mirror, quickly putting on a smile. Kyuhyun made sure that there were no scars being shown.

"Really? Are you sure?" Siwon asked in a concerned tone.

"Yes. I'm fine." Kyuhyun spoke.

"Okay, hurry up. The others are waiting for you. We need to get to our schedules." Siwon called. Kyuhyun let out a sigh, he hated this moment.

"Okay. I'm done anyway." Kyuhyun smiled as he opened the door to see Siwon standing there.

"Finally, you're done." Siwon smiled at Kyuhyun and sighed silently.

"Thanks for waiting. Let’s go." Kyuhyun smiled and walked out, starting to head for the door.

"Wait." Siwon said and touched Kyuhyun's hand. Siwon forgot what Kyuhyun would do. As an instinct, Kyuhyun pulled his hand away and brought it to his other hand. Kyuhyun turned his head and had a hint of fear in his eyes.

"S-Siwon hyung." Kyuhyun stuttered. Siwon suddenly felt apologetic, he forgot that Kyuhyun was afraid to be touched.

"Sorry." Siwon apologised.

Siwon didn't want to hurt Kyuhyun. He did often wonder why Kyuhyun was afraid of physical contact. Siwon didn't wish to ask though, it could have caused Kyuhyun to be uncomfortable. It could have caused Kyuhyun wonder why he was even asking such a question. So, Siwon decided it would be better if he didn't ask about it.

"It's alright. Let's hurry." Kyuhyun spoke quickly.

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Chapter two...~ ^^